Archive for January, 2008

Are you guilty?

Tuesday, January 29th, 2008
Are you guilty

Are you guilty?

In this week’s Success Newsletter, I would like to talk about guilt: do you feel guilty when others feel guilty for what they did to you? 

 

First a quick update:  

 

    **** Listen to the interview I gave on “Overcoming Fear” (Annie Jenning’s PR) www.patrickwanis.com/fear·        

 

**** Look for my new eBook “Find Love Fast” this week at http://patrickwanis.com/TheBook.asp ·        

**** Listen to the controversial interview I gave to Sally Jessy Raphael’s syndicated radio show speaking about Macy Gray and her comments that “Woman is the nigger of the world.”  http://patrickwanis.com/RadioInterviews.asp  

 

Now let’s talk about guilt. 

The dictionary defines guilt as:  

a.    Remorseful awareness of having done something wrongb.    Self-reproach for supposed inadequacy or wrongdoing 

It is a common response that when we do something wrong, we will feel guilty or bad. What matters the most is the way we respond to our guilt. Do we choose to beat ourselves up over our wrongdoing? Do we choose to condemn ourselves, making ourselves feel only worse? Do we say negative things to ourselves such as “I am an idiot…I am stupid…I am a loser…?” Or do we separate ourselves from our actions, accept responsibility for what we have done, try to make amends and learn from the mistake? 

A healthy approach is to say, “I made a mistake. It was a stupid thing to do. Next time, I will do it differently…etc.” Note that saying “I am stupid” is very different to saying “What I did was stupid.” The former only damages and lowers your self-esteem and self-image without helping you to learn, grow or evolve from the experience.  Continue reading “Are you guilty?” »

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Heath Ledger suffered like most men

Tuesday, January 22nd, 2008

 

Heath Ledger suffered like most men

Heath Ledger suffered like most men

Heath Ledger’s tragic death is a reflection of the quiet and often unnoticed suffering that many men go through while in depression,” according to Patrick Wanis, PhD, Celebrity Life Coach and Human Behavior Expert. “While female celebrities like Britney and Anna Nicole Smith scream out in pain, to be noticed, most men are either unable to identify with their feelings or they remain quiet refusing to admit that they need help – until it is too late” says Wanis. “From my clinical experience, while most women will turn to professionals for help, men won’t, preferring instead to deny their pain and vulnerability.” 

“Although the details is not yet known, Heath Ledger has a similar story to Owen Wilson who almost took his life a few months after his breakup with his girlfriend, Kate Hudson. Heath Ledger had separated from Michelle Williams just five months ago, and the superintendent of Ledger’s building noticed that Ledger recently looked sad. Many men live in denial of the pain of unrequited love, breakups, rejection or failed relationships – they don’t turn to others for help” says Wanis. “Ledger’s death could have been avoided.” “We also fail to recognize sometimes that all the money and fame in the world cannot fill an inner emptiness or the pain of a broken family or lost love. And Heath Ledger’s death is a great loss -for now his two-year old daughter Matilda will live without her father. And the loss of a father is a much greater loss to a child than the lost talent of one actor ”, according to Wanis. 

Originally from Australia, Patrick Wanis, PhD is a Celebrity Life-Coach, Author and an Expert in Human Behavior and Relationships. He is a Neuro-Linguistic Programming Practitioner and Clinical Hypnotherapist with a PhD in Health Psychology. Wanis is a regular contributor to major news outlets -FOX News, MSNBC and the Montel Williams Show, and is the weekly featured analyst on celebrity behavior for The New York Observer. Wanis coaches and works with various celebrities. WGN Chicago and Syndicated TV show, “The Daily Buzz” anointed him “The Woman Expert” and FOX News pronounced him ”A voice for women.” Over four million people have read Wanis’ books in English and Spanish. http://www.patrickwanis.com

 

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Controlling the inner chatterbox

Tuesday, January 22nd, 2008
Controlling the inner chatterbox

Controlling the Inner Chatterbox

In this week’s Success Newsletter, I would like to talk about “Self-talk” – the things that you say to yourself all day long – and how to control that Inner Chatterbox.

 

 

First a quick update:

 

**** “How Your Mind Prevents Success –and what to do about it” -Listen to the hour-long interview I gave to world-famous sales trainer Blair Singer http://www.patrickwanis.com/success

 

**** Listen to the interview I gave to the ladies of XM radio’s Broadminded show about celebrities who sabotage and destroy their lives & success because of their deep beliefs about a lack of self-worth: Michael Vick & The O.J Effect: http://patrickwanis.com/RadioInterviews.asp ·

 

 

Now let’s talk about Self-talk – the things that you say to yourself – and how to control that Inner Chatterbox.

 

Here is an excerpt from my book, “How to Hypnotize Anyone” http://patrickwanis.com/HypnotizeBook.asp

 

“We say that only mad people talk to themselves, but the truth is that we all talk to ourselves all day long, without even knowing it. In fact, we have around 60,000 thoughts a day. What are we thinking? What are we telling ourselves, and where does this inner voice come from?  

 

Self-talk is what we repeat to ourselves – our mental background music. Most of us are not even aware of our self-talk, yet it has a powerful influence on behavior, our stress, motivation and actions.  

 

This inner voice is often referred to as the chatterbox, because it practically never ceases talking. This inner chatterbox is the voice inside your head that says, “I can’t do it… I’ll fail… I am a loser… I am fat…” or “You can’t afford it… You will never be rich… You’re stupid… You’re ugly…”  

 

All those thoughts that make up the chatterbox are the result of everything you have ever been told and that you accepted as true. These thoughts and messages are the things you were told during your childhood by your parents, family, peers and the media. They can also be the result of events that occurred in your life or your personal thoughts and fears.  

 

You may find that many of the things your parents told you as a child are the very things you repeat to yourself all day long – often without even knowing it. Some of these things you accepted as true because you experienced them as a child, and children learn by imitating. For example, if your parents worked hard to make their money, you probably believe that only hard work leads to money, yet others around you may seem to come into money easily.

 

Reprogramming the Inner Voice

One of the keys to happiness, peace of mind and getting what we want is being able to change the messages we continually repeat to ourselves all day long.  

 

If you consistently and permanently change your self-talk and start saying, “I am thin and attractive” instead of “I am fat and ugly,” your mind would direct you toward activity to make you thinner. Your imagination starts to create images and pictures of you as a thin person. You start to exercise or eat less, and you become thinner.  

 

Hypnosis works the same way by changing permanently your thoughts, beliefs, self-talk and imagination – and thus, your reality.” 

 

Blair Singer is a world famous sales trainer and public speaker who was personally selected by Robert Kiyosaki- best-selling author of “Rich Dad Poor Dad” as part of his business team. Recently Blair Singer interviewed me to learn more about the link between the mind, human behavior and success – and specifically how our mind prevents us from success. I explained to Blair that one of the reasons affirmations so often fail is because we have 60,000 other negative affirmations throughout the day. And most of us are not even aware of what those thoughts or negative affirmations are. In the interview I share an exercise to help you to first become aware of those subconscious thoughts and then how to change them. Listen to the full interview at http://www.patrickwanis.com/success

 

When you do become aware of worry or negative self-talk, say “stop” or “cancel that” and proceed to replace the disempowering thought with something positive and supportive. Remember, in every moment, you can always choose happiness, “I choose happiness, I choose peace” and proceed  to visualize and imagine a positive outcome.

 

If you want to begin now to reprogram the inner voice so that it supports you, use my hypnosis CDs such as “Be Happy, Rich & Wealthy” http://patrickwanis.com/HappyRichWealthy.asp

 

Remember to check out my Blog on my website to read my past Success Newsletters, post your comments and take a few exciting quizzes. www.patrickwanis.com  If you have received this newsletter as a forward and would like to receive all of my newsletters please enter your email address on the home page at PatrickWanis.com.

 

I wish you the best and remind you “Believe in yourself -You deserve the best!”

 

 

Patrick Wanis
Celebrity Life Coach, Human Behavior & Relationship Expert & Clinical Hypnotherapist
www.patrickwanis.com

 

 

 

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Value Yourself

Tuesday, January 15th, 2008
Value Yourself

Value Yourself

In this week’s Success Newsletter, I would like to talk about the significance of valuing yourself.

 

First a quick update:  

 

“The Emotional Stresses of Being Overweight” – read my article for Date.com and Matchmaker.com at www.date.info ·         Listen to my hour-long controversial interview with Professor Jean Twenge from San Diego State University as we discuss and debate narcissism, self-love and self-esteem http://patrickwanis.com/selflove  

 

Now let’s talk about your value. 

In many articles and interviews, I have referred to what I call the Law of Deservedness: you get only what you subconsciously believe you deserve and no more and if you do get more you will push it away or sabotage it.  Here now is another way to view this point: how much do you value yourself?  

“If you had a million-dollar racehorse, would you feed it junk food, lots of alcohol and let it stay out all night? Would you allow anyone to ride it or would you carefully choose who could ride it? Would you allow people to come into its stable and throw trash everywhere? Obviously, not, so why do you let people treat you like trash? Are you not worth more than a million dollars?”-from my book, “Get What You Want!” 

We often seek ways to blame others for the way they treat us and yet we do not realize that we directly or indirectly teach and train others about the way we want to be treated. In the worst relationship I ever had, my then girlfriend treated me like trash, and each time that she asked me to give her another chance, I did. The pattern though did not get better. In fact, her treatment of me only worsened. Why? The more chances I gave her and the more poor treatment and disrespect I accepted (lying, cheating, manipulating, criticism and selfishness) the more accustomed she became to acting that way towards me. One time, it was her birthday and she ignored my numerous calls because she was speaking to her ex-boyfriend. When I asked her about why she chose to do that she simply replied with, “I thought you would understand.” What she was really saying was, “I thought you would accept whatever I do” -and that was the essence of the relationship.

Continue reading “Value Yourself” »

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Forget New Year’s Resolutions

Tuesday, January 8th, 2008
forget new year's resolutions

Forget New Year’s Resolutions

In this week’s Success Newsletter, I would like to talk about the New Year’s Resolutions and why I say forget them: There is only one thing you need to do this year. 

 

First a quick update:  

 

·         “How to get almost anyone to like you” – read my article for Date.com and Matchmaker.com at www.date.info ·         The New York Observer interviewed me to ask how Hypnotherapy could help Britney Spears and if Dr. Phil made a big mistake. Read my response:  http://www.observer.com/2008/expert-how-i-would-save-britney-spears ·         Mischa Barton, Facebook and the Me Generation, read my insights in The New York Observer http://www.observer.com/2007/expert-mischa-barton-facebook-are-symptoms-me-generation ·         Listen to the interview I gave on “Success Principles” (Annie Jenning’s PR) www.patrickwanis.com/successprinciples  

 

Now let’s talk about New Year’s Resolutions – edited version of the article I wrote for Date.com. Read the full article on my blog. 

Do you know what is the number one New Year’s Resolution?  

Of course, you do – it’s probably yours as well:  

To lose weight! 

The next top resolutions are: Continue reading “Forget New Year’s Resolutions” »

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Be a Warrior: Forget New Year’s Resolutions

Tuesday, January 8th, 2008

Published for Date.com and Matchmaker.com at www.date.info January 2008

 

Be a Warrior: Forget New Year's Resolutions

Be a Warrior: Forget New Year’s Resolutions

Why do we make New Year’s Resolutions year after year, only to break them? Celebrity Life Coach and Human Behavior Expert, Patrick Wanis, says forget the New Year’s Resolutions -there is only one thing you need to do in 2008. 

New Year’s Resolutions date back as far as 4,000 years, when the ancient Babylonians resolved to try to make amends for their wrongdoings of the past year, often also choosing to return to their rightful owners any farming equipment they borrowed during the year.  Why do we, though, follow this tradition and what meaning does it have in the 21st century? Are we just wasting time, energy and effort, and simply setting ourselves up for failure and disappointment?  

Top Ten New Year’s Resolutions 

Did you know that more than eighty-eight percent of Americans will make at least one New Year’s Resolution? Do you know what that the number one resolution is?  Of course, you do – it’s probably yours as well:

 

Continue reading “Be a Warrior: Forget New Year’s Resolutions” »

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The Expert: ‘How I Would Save Britney Spears’ Through Hypnosis

Tuesday, January 8th, 2008

How I Would Save Britney Spears Through Hypnosis

The Expert: ‘How I Would Save Britney Spears’ Through Hypnosis

As Britney Spears was preparing to leave Cedars-Sinai Medical Center after her 72-hour lockdown yesterday, Phil McGraw (a.k.a. Dr. Phil) reportedly “blindsided” the pop star, who then rejected Mr. McGraw’s offer to help her. Since Mr. McGraw was unable to penetrate Ms. Spears’ protective shell, we called celebrity life coach Patrick Wanis, Ph.D., to find out what measures he would take to help the fallen idol.

Before getting started, Mr. Wanis pointed to a comment Ms. Spears made about her father, Jamie Spears, to the Post last April.

“I am praying for my father,” she told the paper at the time. “We have never had a good relationship. It’s sad that all the men that have been in my life do not know how to accept a real woman’s love. I am concentrating on my work and my life right now.”

This single quote, Mr. Wanis inferred, is far more telling than any of Ms. Spears’ recent outbursts.

“Ultimately, our happiness and peace of mind comes from what we feel and believe about ourselves and the world around us. Britney’s greatest challenges relate primarily to her father. She never felt understood by her father,” he said. “That [statement] relates to her subconscious, to the belief that she hasn’t been appreciated as a child by her father,” Ms. Wanis added, before moving on to tell us that it’s possible that Ms. Spears didn’t feel open enough to show affection to her father as a child.

Continue reading “The Expert: ‘How I Would Save Britney Spears’ Through Hypnosis” »

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Be a Warrior: Forget New Year’s Resolutions

Wednesday, January 2nd, 2008

Published at www.date.info January 2008 

 

Forget New Years Resolutions

Be a Warrior: Forget New Year’s Resolutions

Why do we make New Year’s Resolutions year after year, only to break them? Celebrity Life Coach and Human Behavior Expert, Patrick Wanis, says forget the New Year’s Resolutions -there is only one thing you need to do in 2008. 

 

New Year’s Resolutions date back as far as 4,000 years, when the ancient Babylonians resolved to try to make amends for their wrongdoings of the past year, often also choosing to return to their rightful owners any farming equipment they borrowed during the year.  

Why do we, though, follow this tradition and what meaning does it have in the 21st century? Are we just wasting time, energy and effort, and simply setting ourselves up for failure and disappointment?  

 

Top Ten New Year’s Resolutions 

Did you know that more than eighty-eight percent of Americans will make at least one New Year’s Resolution? Do you know what that the number one resolution is?  

Of course, you do – it’s probably yours as well:  

To lose weight! 

The next top resolutions are:  Continue reading “Be a Warrior: Forget New Year’s Resolutions” »

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