Strong words for parents and teens

In this week’s Success Newsletter, I would like to share a couple of controversial but critical parenting tips.

First a quick update:

**** Stop being your child’s friend?  Professor Jean Twenge (Associate Professor of Psychology at San Diego State University) in her second book “The Narcissism Epidemic – Living In The Age of Entitlement” warns parents to stop being their child’s best friend. But why is this behavior dangerous for the child’s development and are there other seemingly innocuous parental styles that harm children? Listen to my conversation and interview with Dr. Vicki Panaccione, Child Psychologist and founder of The Better Parenting Institute as she elaborates what is dangerous parenting, what is healthy parenting and the real role of a parent. In the enlightening and at times frightening conversation, Dr. Vicki also warns parents about the dangers of “inappropriate seductiveness”; creating anxiety in children; seeking their children’s approval; expecting the child to fulfill the mental and emotional needs of the parent and; sharing a bed with a child. http://patrickwanis.com/RadioInterviews.asp

Now, let’s talk about a few other specific tips and strategies for parents and teens.

The latest studies into abuse in relationships reveal that one in three teens is abused in a relationship. The Chris Brown and Rihanna story has further highlighted the need to address domestic violence and violence on women. Brown (age 19) is alleged to have beaten and bitten his girlfriend during an argument inside his rented car that landed her in hospital. It’s alleged that he even held her head in an armlock while driving and hitting her.

Domestic violence is not limited by economic, cultural, educational or geographic factors. According to a new survey by the Boston Public Health Commission, nearly half of Boston-area teenagers say Rihanna (age 21) was responsible for Brown’s alleged attack.

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Two powerful tips to reduce stress now

In this week’s Success Newsletter, I would like to share two more powerful, concrete tips for reducing stress – one from a brand new study.

First a quick update:

·         “Common characteristics and motives of mass killers.” Fifteen people were gunned down in the Columbine High School Massacre in 1999; 33 people were murdered in the Virginia Tech massacre in 2007; a teen gunman killed 15 people in a shooting rampage in two small German towns, and; another man murdered ten people in a shooting spree in Alabama. Are there common characteristics, warning signs and motives of mass killers? Listen to the interview I gave to Russ Morley, host of the morning show on News/Talk 850 WFTL for insights into the motivations, warning signs and characteristics of mass killers and mass murderers. I reveal the various possible psychological contributing factors (including stress) that when combined can lead a person to become a mass killer. http://patrickwanis.com/RadioInterviews.asp

Now, let’s talk about more ways to reduce stress.

You can revisit my archived Newsletters “How to remove stress from your life” and “Removing stress Pt 2” from July 2008 at my blog http://patrickwanis.com/blog/2008/07/16/how-to-remove-stress-from-your-life/  and  http://patrickwanis.com/blog/2008/07/23/removing-stress-part-2/

The two techniques I am sharing with you today are not included in those letters.

In my last Success Newsletter, I revealed that when we experience stress our body releases various chemicals one of which is Cortisol from the Adrenal cortex. Cortisol helps the body with increased blood flow, glucose availability and increased behavioral responses but long term elevated Cortisol levels lead to damage to muscle tissue, increased blood pressure, diabetes mellitus, and a weakened immune system -making us more vulnerable to infection and cancer. Thus, when stress is reduced so, too, is Cortisol. One new study now reveals that intimacy, touch, hugs and affection reduce stress by elevating our mood and lowering our cortisol.

Beate Ditzen, Ph.D., a behavioral psychologist at the University of Zurich in Switzerland studied 51 couples for a week, asking them to record their activities and take saliva samples every three hours to test cortisol levels. The findings were amazing. All forms of physical closeness and touch lowered stress levels. Every minute spent hugging, kissing, holding hands or having sex lowered stress. And every touch had the same power to soothe and alleviate tension: the more hugs, the less stress. Thus, the tenth hug or kiss had the same positive impact as the first, and ten hugs created ten times as much stress relief as a single hug.

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Nothing to fear but fear itself

In this week’s Success Newsletter, I would like to offer some light and positivity amidst the news of doom and gloom as well as reveal why “the only thing we have to fear is fear itself.”

First a quick update:

·   Tonight —“Secrets to Overcoming Fear and Stress” -Live training: A rare opportunity to see and hear me speak live at no charge. I will be revealing the secrets to overcoming fear and stress to maintain daily mental and emotional health for BP Media + Partners and Flow Lifestyles at 500 Brickell Miami FL tonight Wednesday March 11 at 7:30 PM. Register here http://www.bpmediapartners.com/networking/

 
Now, let’s talk about overcoming fear and readjusting our mindset.

 
I am almost sure that you, like so many others, are probably tired of hearing the doom and gloom of everyday news and so I want to offer you something empowering. I teach that it is not what happens to us but how we choose to respond to what happens to us that not only makes the difference, but determines our results and even our physical, mental and emotional health.

In scientific studies of the human stress response, it has been revealed that the adrenal cortex releases Cortisol which helps the body with increased blood flow, glucose availability and increased behavioral responses. Cortisol is vital in the immediate face of a stressor, but long term effects of stress and elevated Cortisol levels lead to damage to muscle tissue, increased blood pressure, diabetes mellitus, abdominal fat, and a weakened immune system -making us more vulnerable to infection and cancer.

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Top tips for tough times

In this week’s Success Newsletter, I would like to respond to the numerous requests for advice and suggestions to succeed and thrive during tough times.

First a quick update:

·         “Secrets to Overcoming Fear and Stress” -Live training: A rare opportunity to see and hear me speak live at no charge. I will be revealing the secrets to overcoming fear and stress to maintain daily mental and emotional health for BP Media + Partners and Flow Lifestyles at 500 Brickell Miami FL Wed March 11 at 7:30 PM. Register here http://www.bpmediapartners.com/networking/

Now, let’s talk about the top tips to thrive and succeed during tough times:

Face your fears and finances

Sit down and be clear about your current situation. This is step one: you must know from where you start because it’s easier to solve the problem when you know exactly what it is, and from there you can create an action plan.

Adrenal exhaustion

This is a common symptom and consequence of today’s lifestyle: lack of sleep, poor nutrition, lack of aerobic exercise, over thinking, over working, emotional stress. Adrenal exhaustion often includes low thyroid function. Some of the suggestions below help to alleviate the stress that leads to adrenal exhaustion. While I am not offering medical advice here, I do suggest reducing or cutting out sugar and alcohol, and plan to be asleep by 10 PM. It is said that 1 hour of sleep before midnight is more beneficial than 2 hours after midnight because of the body’s cycle and processes. Consult your doctor for advice.

Humility and edification

Many of us are feeling extremely frightened, full of self-doubt and uncertain about the future. Take just five minutes each day to write a letter or make a phone call offering sincere appreciation, praise or compliments to someone in your life –personal or business. Seek to build others.

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