“An emotional vampire is someone that feeds off other people to get their own energy or value. An emotional vampire is like a parasite: he/she simply feeds off the other person.
Emotional vampires engage in this behavior because inside, they feel they have no power.” – Patrick Wanis PhD
The following is a transcript of a journalist researching for the German magazine PM (which focuses on science and psychology) interviewing Celebrity Life Coach and Human Behavior Expert, Patrick Wanis Ph. D. about Emotional Vampires.
Click here to read Patrick Wanis’ Success Newsletter: Dealing with emotional vampires: http://patrickwanis. com/blog/dealing-with-emotional-vampires/
Dr. Patrick Wanis: What got you interested in Emotional Vampires?
Q. Well, at the moment, there’s loads of vampirism around us, particularly in the media.
Dr. Patrick Wanis: You mean movies? Movies and books?
Q. Yes, exactly. Like this “Twilight” material, you know that?
Dr. Patrick Wanis: Yes, yes, it’s huge in America.
Q. Yeah, also in Germany. And so the questions that arose were “What’s behind it and what’s the reason that people still believe in vampires? And what does it give to the people? ”So we came to the point that we saw that it’s not primarily about the blood that the vampire sucks from the victims but rather it’s about the energy. And so we saw a bridge to the Emotional Vampires.
Dr. Patrick Wanis: Right. And I would argue that there’s always been an interest in vampires, but it comes and goes in cycles and I would say the reason that it’s so big now is because of what the vampire represents: first it’s the sense of power and invincibility. And the power and invincibility adds security, a sense of stability and a sense of safety in a time when in the world we, as individuals, don’t feel secure; we don’t feel stable and we don’t feel powerful. We feel the opposite. We feel helpless and we feel afraid. But the vampire has no fear.
Dr. Patrick Wanis: The vampire has no fear. I mean obviously there is something that can kill the vampire, whether it’s the garlic or the stake or the silver bullet. But generally speaking, the vampire has no fear of anyone. The vampire has ultimate control and ultimate power. And the concept of immortality, I think, also relates to the concept of having power and that you have no fear of anyone. Immortality is about power, safety and security. It’s the antithesis of fear. So I think we turn to this world of fantasy any time that our world of reality is painful. But in the world of fantasy we experience two levels. We experience the romance & the passion as well as the power. And for women, it’s not just about the power. It’s often about eternal love – as in the case of the movie, the original, Bram Stoker’s Dracula, that this vampire has an immortal love for her and nothing can break that love; and even if she dies and she comes back reincarnated and even if they try to kill him, his love lives on and that love is greater than anything. So for women, there’s the fantasy of the romance. But for both women and for men, there’s not just the fascination but the love and adoration of power. Power is very, very potent on many levels but above all, power is an aphrodisiac.
Dr. Patrick Wanis: But again, I think the concept of power and immortality also gives us a sense of safety, a sense of security at a time when we feel so very afraid and uncertain. You know, we have fear of war, we have fear of nuclear war, we have fear that the planet’s dying, our economy is not stable, etc. Thus we turn around and ask “Where can I, as an individual, find the sense of control over my life when I feel I have no control? ”And the answer is in the fantasy, the dream, the illusion of being a vampire that can live forever, can do anything and cannot really be harmed.
Q. That’s interesting. Switching to the topic of emotional vampires, do you think that this could be a reason why we have this phenomenon of the people we would call ‘emotional vampires’; they have this power or they show this power and other people become their victims because they want to feel safe?
Dr. Patrick Wanis: Well, I haven’t thought of it that way before but yes. I definitely believe that’s the case because if you look at it now, an emotional vampire is someone that feeds off other people to get their own energy.
Dr. Patrick Wanis: To stay alive. And there is a sense of power; and let me put it this way. Emotional vampires engage in this behavior because inside, they feel they have no power.
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