Archive for July, 2010

« Older Entries

Overcoming other people’s opinions

Wednesday, July 28th, 2010

In this week’s Success Newsletter, I would like to reveal ways to overcome other people’s opinions including peer pressure.

First a quick update:

****  Mel Gibson, Charlie Sheen & Battered Woman’s Syndrome:

While people are angry at Mel Gibson they are ignoring Charlie Sheen who has been charged with allegedly putting a knife to his wife’s throat. Why? Listen to the radio interview I gave to Russ Morley, host of 850 WFTL. I also explain that we give free-passes to people we like and we react harsher to racist remarks than we do to actual violence against women – although both are seriously wrong.
http://patrickwanis.com/RadioInterviews.asp#RacismViolence  

Read the transcript of the interview here:

http://patrickwanis.com/blog/index.php/2010/07/26/mel-gibson-charlie-sheen-battered-womans-syndrome/  

 

Now, let’s talk about how to become independent of the opinion of others.

Recently, I bought a new pair of sunglasses. “Look at the ocean and sky through these glasses” I would say excitedly as I passed them around. And people responded with amazement. These glasses – High Definition, polarized with a golden tint – made the world look completely different. The colors became more intense, the light was much brighter, the contrast was startling and the shapes were so much clearer while the soft golden glow made everything seem so much warmer and happier.

And as I walked away, I smiled as I pondered about how every one of us sees the world through our own glasses and just how different the world looks to each of us. And yes, there can be a lot of pleasure when we see the world through someone else’s eyes but pain can arise when someone tries to make us live the way they do.

For example, this week, I received a phone call from a distraught friend.

Julia is about to celebrate her 27th birthday but she feels so much pressure from her friends. Julia wants to find love, a partner, have children and build a family but her friends don’t agree. Julia’s friends want her to continue working and build her career.

“You have to be independent; you can’t rely on men” her friends admonished her.

‘But I would happy being traditional; I would be happy being a stay at home mom’ Julia would tell them.

Julia expressed her disappointment and frustration to me: “I feel so lost Patrick; I feel so pressured by my friends that I just don’t know what to do now.”

‘This is a challenge we all face, Julia; do we live for ourselves, following our heart, or do we live for others, living to please them?’ I responded.

Continue reading “Overcoming other people’s opinions” »

Posted in Success Newsletters | No Comments »

Mel Gibson, Charlie Sheen & Battered Woman’s Syndrome

Monday, July 26th, 2010

The following is a  transcript of Russ Morley, host of 850 WFTL radio interviewing Celebrity Life Coach and Human Behavior Expert, Patrick Wanis Ph.D. for insights and analysis about the Mel Gibson meltdown and the ways that the alleged recording between Mel Gibson and girlfriend Oksana Grigorieva is undermining the serious issue of domestic violence against women and children and how it relates to Battered Woman’s Syndrome.

 

While people are angry at Mel Gibson they are ignoring Charlie Sheen who has been charged with allegedly putting a knife to his wife’s throat. And according to Celebrity Life Coach and Human Behavior & Relationship Expert, Patrick Wanis PhD, “We give free-passes to people we like and we react harsher to racist remarks than we do to actual violence against women – although both are seriously wrong.

 

Listen to this interview at:

http://patrickwanis.com/Is_racism_more_important_than_violence_against_women.asp

 

Learn more about Battered Woman’s Syndrome here:

http://patrickwanis.com/blog/index.php/2010/07/19/battered-womans-syndrome/

 

Read the release “Is racism more important than violence against women?” here:
http://patrickwanis.com/blog/index.php/2010/07/22/is-racism-more-important-than-violence-against-women/

 

Read the article by Patrick Wanis PhD – Bias, prejudice and domestic violence here:

http://patrickwanis.com/blog/index.php/2010/07/21/bias-prejudice-domestic-violence/

Russ Morley:             Joining us this morning, Dr. Patrick Wanis, Celebrity Life Coach, Human Behavior Expert. Dr. Wanis, she’s saying he’s losing his mind. This isn’t the first instance of this. I mean are we talking insanity here this morning? Is Mel finally gone over the edge, do you think?

Patrick Wanis:          Well, he’s obviously gone over the edge. As to insanity, that’s a completely different diagnosis. I think there are a couple of key points to be made here, and the first thing I want to say is before I say anything else, anything that I say is not implying that she was not hit nor am I in any way condoning or defending the behavior, words, and actions of Mel Gibson because I don’t think there’s any defense for that.

Russ Morley:             Alright. A good disclaimer, alright.           

Patrick Wanis:          But I think we need to look at a lot of the things here, and I want to relate this to Battered Woman’s Syndrome. The way that this case has played out; because the tapes have been released, and because of the way that Oksana carries herself on the tape, she almost sounds like she’s standing on stage, talking to an audience – people have become cynical. And because of the claims relating to money – that she tried to extort money out of Mel Gibson with regard to these tapes; or the claims that she doctored or spliced the tapes has therefore raised doubts about the actual abuse or allegations of abuse. And I think that what that does then, is it downplays, undermines, and diminishes the real serious issue of domestic violence not only in the U.S., but around the world. And Russ, I want to make this point about someone else who is a celebrity, Charlie Sheen.

  Continue reading “Mel Gibson, Charlie Sheen & Battered Woman’s Syndrome” »

Posted in Patrick in the Press | 1 Comment »

Is racism more important than violence against women?

Thursday, July 22nd, 2010

Favoritism is giving a pass to wife-beaters and diminishing the gravity of domestic violence according to one male therapist who says while people are angry at Mel Gibson they are ignoring Charlie Sheen who has been charged with allegedly putting a knife to his wife’s throat.

“We give free-passes to people we like and we react harsher to racist remarks than we do to actual violence against women – although both are seriously wrong” says Patrick Wanis PhD – Human Behavior & Relationship Expert.

“The media and public have been quite vocal in expressing opinions and judgments about Mel Gibson and his ex-girlfriend Oksana Grigorieva; some calling Mel Gibson a racist violent monster while others call Oksana a gold digger” says Dr. Wanis. “But with so many recordings and media coverage, Mel Gibson has become a joke – a kind of drunken modern-day Archie Bunker – and now the attention has turned off domestic violence. California Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger compared Mel Gibson to the Gulf of Mexico oil leak saying Gibson could not be contained.”

“While no charges have yet been filed against Mel Gibson, there has been no public outcry over Charlie Sheen, star of “Two and a Half Men” on CBS, who is charged with felony menacing, criminal mischief and assault against his wife, Brooke Mueller Sheen. His attorneys are trying to work out details of an agreement that calls for Sheen to plead guilty to misdemeanor assault in exchange for prosecutors dropping more serious charges. The agreement calls for Sheen to serve 30 days in jail.

“Why have the media and public not been screaming over Charlie Sheen who has been charged for allegedly putting a knife to his wife’s throat? Why have there not been the same calls for the boycotting of Charlie Sheen’s movies and TV shows as there have been for Mel Gibson’s movies?

“We are showing favoritism towards Charlie Sheen. We watch Charlie Sheen on his weekly TV show and for almost 7 years, and we welcome his TV character and welcome him in life as a bad boy but we refuse to see him as a man who has abused a woman. The reality of his abuse, of his violence against a woman, is ignored because people generally seem to like him, to find him affable, viewing him as basically just a boy who is slightly wild and has not yet grown up. If we had heard the conversation between Charlie and his wife, would we still be giving him the free=pass?

“People quickly condemned Chris Brown for assaulting Rihanna but was that because we saw the photo of her bruised face or because Chris Brown is black and so our bias and prejudice spiked our anger and condemnation?

“The most significant and critical point is that the incidents of Mel Gibson and Charlie Sheen have, instead of highlighting the issue of domestic violence, only served to diminish and undermine our attention to the gravity of domestic violence  which affects not only women but also children. Each year, 1.3 million women are victims of physical assault by an intimate partner and; half of those perpetrators abuse children in the household.

“We need to be careful that our biases and prejudices – our favoritism – do not result in a free-pass to people who abuse women or engage in domestic violence” says Dr. Wanis.

Listen to the interview Patrick Wanis PhD gave to Russ Morley morning host of news talk 850 WFTL radio:
http://patrickwanis.com/Is_racism_more_important_than_violence_against_women.asp 

Continue reading “Is racism more important than violence against women?” »

Posted in Press Releases | 1 Comment »

Bias, prejudice & domestic violence

Wednesday, July 21st, 2010

In this week’s Success Newsletter, I would like to reveal the ways our biases and prejudices control our behavior and decisions and how that relates to Shirley Sherrod, domestic violence and Mel Gibson & Charlie Sheen.

First a quick update:

**** Battered Woman’s Syndrome - Did Mel Gibson’s girlfriend Oksana fail to call the police or walk out immediately when threatened or allegedly abused because she suffers from Battered Woman’s Syndrome? And will this incident potentially harm the cases and claims of other women who have been battered? Read my article on my blog:

http://patrickwanis.com/blog/index.php/2010/07/19/battered-womans-syndrome/

****  Stop listening to Mel Gibson – separating art from the artist: Listen to the radio interview I gave Australia’s Derryn Hinch on news talk 3AW where we debate whether or not we should let an artist’s personal life and morality determine our appreciation of the art.

http://patrickwanis.com/RadioInterviews.asp

 

****  Lindsay Lohan’s real issue  – Read my responses, analysis and insights that I gave to a reporter’s questions about Lindsay Lohan about what her real issue is; I also offer unique insight into why Sandra Bullock kisses Scarlet Johansson during the MTV Movie Awards:
http://patrickwanis.com/blog/index.php/2010/07/20/lindsay-lohans-real-issue/

Now, let’s talk about prejudice and bias and the way that determines and controls our behavior, actions and decisions.

The dictionary defines bias as a preference or an inclination, especially one that inhibits impartial judgment; an unfair act stemming from prejudice. And prejudice is defined as an adverse judgment or opinion formed beforehand or without knowledge or examination of the facts; a preconceived preference or idea.

Most of us will argue that we are not bias or prejudice, that in fact, we are fair and we look at the facts and both sides of the argument, free of emotional sway, before making our conclusions or forming our opinions.

However, studies reveal that most of us have hidden biases; we have subconscious prejudices and our emotions tend to control us.

A study conducted in 2004, led by Drew Westen, Director of Clinical Psychology at Emory University revealed that both Republicans and Democrats clearly ignored facts that were contrary to their point of view.

  Continue reading “Bias, prejudice & domestic violence” »

Posted in Success Newsletters | No Comments »

Lindsay Lohan’s real issue

Tuesday, July 20th, 2010

The following is an edited copy of responses, analysis and insights by Celebrity Life Coach and Human Behavior Expert, Patrick Wanis Ph.D. to a reporter’s questions about Lindsay Lohan. And while many people were predicting that Lindsay Lohan would not show up to jail to serve her sentence, Patrick Wanis PhD accurately predicted on TV “I guarantee, 100% she will show up.” Patrick Wanis PhD also offers unique insight into why Sandra Bullock kisses Scarlet Johansson during the MTV Movie Awards.

Watch the TV interview Patrick Wanis PhD gave to WSFL The Morning Show about Lindsay Lohan:

http://southflorida.sun-sentinel.com/videobeta/6ffd5862-3115-4f4a-9b97-f56b7cf6709c/News/Taboo-Tuesday-Interventions

Reporter:                    The probation report of Lindsay Lohan reveals that she’s approved to take a number of different medications; Lindsay  is a known addict, has had problems with addiction and yet she’s taking this combination of Zoloft and Adderall and Dilaudid. 

 

She’s got the Dilaudid for some oral surgery she had months ago but has been taking it as recently as just a few weeks ago. For somebody who’s already wearing a Scram Bracelet and who has clearly had issues in the past with substance abuse, is it wise to have her on all this medication?

Patrick Wanis:          Is it wise for her to be on all of these medications?  This has been the same situation repeated so many times of celebrities who are given multiple medications. Heath Ledger, I think Brittany Murphy was another one: people who have been given multiple medications and it becomes a deadly cocktail.  So, the first thing is no, I don’t agree with a mixture of medications, a cocktail of medications if you will, number one. 

                                    Number two, I’m not in a position to prescribe medication.  I always believe the answer is to seek the root cause of the problem rather treating the symptom.  And you’ll also notice that with a lot of rehab clinics, they take the patient off the medication immediately. 

Reporter:                    Yeah. 

Patrick Wanis:          So, usually and I know Dr. Drew does this: as soon as someone comes in to his clinic, the first thing he does is, he cuts them off all medication.  So, it does seem quite strange that if she’s had a problem with substance abuse the people on hand say ‘we’re still going to put you on medication’;  because the medication can lead to some sort of abuse or some sort of addiction, which is not uncommon. The other concern is that anytime you put someone on medication, there are numerous side effects. If you’re multiplying the medication, you’re multiplying the side effects. 

  Continue reading “Lindsay Lohan’s real issue” »

Posted in Patrick in the Press | 1 Comment »

How to do an intervention

Tuesday, July 20th, 2010

The following is a copy of Nik Robinson, Features Producer for The Morning Show, WSFL TV interviewing Celebrity Life Coach and Human Behavior Expert, Patrick Wanis Ph.D. for insights and advice about interventions as part of the Taboo Tuesday series: “Interventions…. If you had a friend or family member who was out of control and nothing works…what would you do to help them? “

 The videos of Patrick Wanis’ appearances of four segments on the TV show will be posted shortly. Meanwhile, here is one of the videos: 

http://southflorida.sun-sentinel.com/videobeta/6ffd5862-3115-4f4a-9b97-f56b7cf6709c/News/Taboo-Tuesday-Interventions

Nik Robinson:          Why is it so hard for us to effectively point out to someone that they need help?

Patrick Wanis PhD: First challenge for us is our own fear of speaking up and approaching our friend; we fear rejection, disapproval, conflict, confrontation, loss of friendship.

Second challenge is our friends usually do not respect our opinion because 1. We are not professionals and 2. Our friend is in denial – they usually do not want help or interference – they are engaging in destructive behavior for a reason – to avoid pain (escape something) or to punish themselves for a perceived wrongdoing (death wish)

Third challenge we face in trying to effectively point out to our friend that he or she needs help is that we lack the training and experience to know how to approach them and; we often approach them with fear, anger, frustration, guilt, self-blame or our own stuff and judgments

Nik Robinson:          Is it right to tell a friend or loved one they need help even if they’re likely to push you away?

Continue reading “How to do an intervention” »

Posted in Patrick in the Press | 1 Comment »

Battered Woman’s Syndrome

Monday, July 19th, 2010

The following information about Battered Woman’s Syndrome is being presented by Human Behavior Expert Patrick Wanis PhD who says questions remain unanswered about the recording of the phone call between Oksana Grigorieva and Mel Gibson. Did Oksana fail to call the police or walk out immediately because she suffers from Battered Woman’s Syndrome? And will this incident potentially harm the cases and claims of other women who have been battered?

  

Dr. Lenore E. Walker is the most prominent expert in the US on battered women; in her book The Battered Woman Syndrome (1984) p. 95-97, she explains that there are four general characteristics of The Battered Woman Syndrome:

1. The woman believes that the violence was her fault

2. The woman has an inability to place the responsibility for the violence elsewhere

3. The woman fears for her life and/or her children’s lives

4. The woman has an irrational belief that the abuser is omnipresent and omniscient

Further research reveals that battered women tend to stay in abusive relationships for a number of reasons:

  1. The woman is still positively reinforced during the honeymoon phase (prior to the abuse)
  2. Women tend to be the peacekeepers in relationships – the ones responsible for making the marriage or relationship work
  3. Adverse economic consequences – she fears she couldn’t survive financially
  4. It is more dangerous to leave than to stay because of prior threats by the batterer to kill himself, kill or harm the children and/or threats to abscond with children
  5. The woman has lost her self-esteem
  6. The woman has no psychological energy to leave and she suffers from a learned helplessness or psychological paralysis; her self confidence and self respect have been broken down to a point where she no longer knows if she is crazy or not

Continue reading “Battered Woman’s Syndrome” »

Posted in Blogroll, Patrick in the Press | 5 Comments »

Stop listening to Mel Gibson – stop confusing art and artists

Monday, July 19th, 2010

The following is a transcript of Derryn Hinch, host of radio 3AW Melbourne, Australia, interviewing Human Behavior & Relationship Expert and Clinical Hypnotherapist, Patrick Wanis Ph.D. about Mel Gibson’s meltdown and the assertion by Patrick Wanis that we need to stop listening to Mel Gibson and we need to separate the art from the artist.

Listen to this interview at:
http://patrickwanis.com/Stop_listening_to_Mel_Gibson.asp

 

Derryn Hinch:           He’s an Australian Human Behavior and Relationship Expert and he’s a Clinical Hypnotherapist whose name is Patrick Wanis. He lives in the United States. And he has a different spin on the Mel Gibson meltdown and his foul behavior and what he has been doing in recent times. I just want you to listen to a few seconds of Mel Gibson about his latest rants and then I want to cross and talk to Patrick Wanis.

[audio played of unauthenticated recording between Mel Gibson and Oksana Gregorieva]

Derryn Hinch:           Phew, okay, that was Mel Gibson. On the line now Patrick Wanis. Good afternoon.

Patrick Wanis:          Good afternoon, Derryn. How are you?

Derryn Hinch:           I’m good. Well, thanks. Having heard that rant, your theory, as I understand it, you think we should be separating the artist from the person [art] – that his sort of personal life should have nothing to do with our appreciation of what he does on the screen. Is that right?

Patrick Wanis:          Yeah. The point I’m making here is that there is a huge difference between the art that one creates and the artist himself – that means his personal life. Today’s technology combined with human curiosity drives us to want to listen and learn every single sordid detail of that person’s life. But it doesn’t benefit us, Derryn.

Derryn Hinch:           Well, I –

Patrick Wanis:          What is the benefit that you and I have by knowing every detail of every dysfunction?

  Continue reading “Stop listening to Mel Gibson – stop confusing art and artists” »

Posted in Patrick in the Press | No Comments »

Mel Gibson – racism, death threats, money?

Monday, July 19th, 2010

The following is a  transcript of Russ Morley, host of 850 WFTL radio interviewing Celebrity Life Coach and Human Behavior Expert, Patrick Wanis Ph.D. for insights and analysis about the Mel Gibson meltdown – an unauthenticated recording between Mel Gibson and girlfriend Oksana Grigorieva believed to have been recorded 5 months prior and where Mel Gibson makes sexist and racist remarks and threatens violence and death. Patrick Wanis PhD analyses the Mel Gibson audio recording and highlights irregularities and unanswered questions about Mel Gibson and Oksana Grigorieva.

Please click here to read why, based on this audio recording, Oksana Grigorieva does not demonstrate behavior or psychological  symptoms of a battered woman: http://patrickwanis.com/blog/index.php/2010/07/19/battered-womans-syndrome/  

 Listen to this interview at:

http://patrickwanis.com/Mel_Gibson_meltdown.asp

 

Read more about this story at:

http://patrickwanis.com/RadioInterviews.asp#MelGibson

 

 [Music: Foreigner – “Cold as Ice”]

Russ Morley:             I’ll tell you what: If you’ve been listening to the radio or watching TV this week, you have no doubt heard the rantings of Oscar winner and one of Hollywood’s top leading men and directors Mel Gibson as he chastised his former girlfriend, mother of his nine-month-old child, Oksana Grigorieva, for wearing tight clothes and having a boob job. But now, there’s even more recordings that are even more shocking.

[audio played of unauthenticated recording between Mel Gibson and Oksana Gregorieva]

Oksana Grigorieva: Because I’m saving my life and I’m saving daughter’s life. That’s what I’m doing. I don’t give a damn about my music and I don’t give a damn about you spending another penny. I’m saving her life.

Mel Gibson:               [Indiscernible]

Oksana Grigorieva: You almost killed us! Did you forget?

Mel Gibson:               (mocks crying)

Oksana Grigorieva: You were hitting a woman with a child in her hands! You – what kind of man is that? Hitting a woman when she’s holding a child in her hands, breaking her teeth twice in the face! What kind of man is that?

Mel Gibson:               Oh, you’re all angry now.

Oksana Grigorieva: You’re going to get to – you know what? You’re going to answer one day. Boy, you’re going to answer.

Mel Gibson:               What, what? What are you …

Oksana Grigorieva: Nothing, nothing. I’m not the one to threaten.

Mel Gibson:               I’m threatening you. I’ll put you in a [Expletive] rose garden, you [Expletive]. You understand that? Because I’m capable of it. You understand that? Get a [Expletive] restraining order. For what? What are you going to get a restraining order for? For me being drunk and disorderly? For hitting you? For what?

Russ Morley:             What? Wow! Alcohol and sanity. What? Joining us this  morning, Dr. Patrick Wanis, Celebrity Life Coach, Human Behavior Expert based out of Miami. Dr. Wanis, man, I mean, this is unsettling at least.

Patrick Wanis:          Well, you know, it’s really hard; I don’t know where to start because there are so many elements to this story and to this incident. First, you need to say the obvious, that there is no justification whatsoever to make any sort of threats against, well, another human being, let alone a woman. That would be the first point. The second thing is: it’s obvious that Mel Gibson has had a drinking problem for a long, long time, going back many, many years. In fact, he started drinking when he became 13 years of age. He just moved to Australia from New York at age 12. Ever since then, he has had a drinking problem. I don’t know if he had a drinking problem in his teens but he has had a drinking problem most of his life.

During Lethal Weapon 2, the director said how shocked he was when he realized that Mel Gibson was drinking five pints of beer every morning – for breakfast.

  Continue reading “Mel Gibson – racism, death threats, money?” »

Posted in Patrick in the Press | No Comments »

Ban bad celebrities?

Thursday, July 15th, 2010

Extreme transparency and listening to Mel Gibson hurts us as much if not more than it hurts him according to one behavior expert and therapist who says we need to separate the art from the artist and realize many artists and entertainers are dysfunctional and not necessarily morally good people.

“We have become more interested in the artist’s personal life than his or her art and the danger is that it will simply end our enjoyment of their work – movies, songs and TV shows” according to Patrick Wanis PhD – Human Behavior & Relationship Expert. “While there is no defense for Gibson’s behavior, most artists and Hollywood actors and actresses are riddled and driven by their emotional pain and dysfunction; very few artists, entertainers or even athletes are morally worthy of being role models, and there is no real tangible benefit for us by delving and reliving all of the details of incidents such as Gibson’s rant and tirade. As we now learn more and more about the sordid details of the personal lives of artists such as Mel Gibson or even Lindsay Lohan, we are damning the art as well as the artist and we can never again fully enjoy the artist’s work. If we do this with every artist, there will be no art left to enjoy ; do we ban all bad celebrities? Michael Jackson was an alleged pedophile; Cecil B DeMille directed the biblical epic “The Ten Commandments” but he was a married man with serial mistresses; Phil Spector produced some of the biggest musical hits of the 1960s but he was found guilty of murder; Academy Award winning actress Liza Minnelli struggled with alcohol abuse and allegedly beat up her fourth husband;  Singer Bing Crosby and actress Joan Crawford were child abusers – her daughter Christina recalls her mother dragging her from bed in the middle of the night, aged nine, to beat her over the head with a can of scouring powder for leaving soap streaks on a bathroom floor.; best-selling author, Stephen King says he was so frequently drunk that he can’t even remember writing CUJO and; movie director Woody Allen married Soon-Yi, the adopted daughter of his former girlfriend. Do we throw out all of the art as we damn the artist and damn their art?” asks Dr. Wanis.

“With the power of technology and the internet we now have developed extraordinarily dangerous and destructive transparency and now we are more interested in the real life bad behavior of people such as Lindsay Lohan and Mel Gibson than we are in their acting; Lindsay’ greatest and possibly only career now is her real life drama.”

“When we look deeper into the personal lives of celebrities, entertainers and those we mistakenly idolize and when we seek out all of the sordid details, we warp and erode our image of them, with little benefit for us; perhaps it is best to focus on their artistic contribution and not get so heavily involved in their personal lives” concludes Dr. Wanis.

  Continue reading “Ban bad celebrities?” »

Posted in Press Releases | No Comments »

« Older Entries