The dangers of your brain

In this week’s Success Newsletter, I would like to reveal the dangers of the human brain – the way we learn, connect and understand other people, and why you need to be very careful.

First a quick update:

**** “Abercrombie & Fitch selling push-up, padded bikini tops to 8-year-old girls” – Yes, Abercrombie & Fitch is selling padded, bikini tops for girls as young as age 8. It’s another example of the sexualization of young girls. Are we sexualizing young girls to get the attention of men or to encourage women to use their daughters to compensate for their own lack of sexual appeal by living vicariously through their daughter? Is this the extreme extension of the beauty-pageant mother who now seeks to make up for what she can never be? Read my thoughts and insights on my blog: www.patrickwanis.com/blog or directly at:
http://patrickwanis.com/blog/abercrombie-fitch-selling-push-up-padded-bikini-tops-to-8-year-old-girls/

Now, let’s talk about the dangers of our brain – the way we learn, connect and understand other people and what the danger is for us because of that.

In 1991, in Parma, Italy, a group of neuroscientists stumbled onto an amazing discovery when by sheer accident, they noticed that when a monkey saw a human reaching for food, it would trigger in the monkey’s brain the same response as if the monkey was reaching for the food. In other words, the monkey was feeling the action made by the human even when the monkey wasn’t actually making the action. The scientists labeled this “mirror neurons” and with further research, in the next decade, they discovered that the human brain has multiple and more complex neuron systems. And according to Dr. Giacomo Rizzolatti who led the initial research “Mirror neurons allow us to grasp the minds of others not through conceptual reasoning but through direct simulation. By feeling, not by thinking.”

What that simply means is that we don’t use logic to understand, interpret or predict other people’s actions – we use feelings – we feel their action.

Have you ever watched a horror movie and felt the fear of the person in the movie running and screaming? Have you ever watched a film where you see a hairy spider slowly crawling up someone’s leg? Did you feel it as if it were happening to you, or even feel it happening right now? Have you ever watched a funny home video where someone has an accident and stubs their toe and you suddenly reacted as if you were feeling the pain, too? Or perhaps, you were next to a child crying and you felt his or her pain, and you began to cry as well.

The reason we feel pain, pride, disgust, empathy, sadness, excitement or joy from watching someone else in an action involving that corresponding emotion is because we simulate that action in our mind, along with the intention and emotion. This explains why laughter, smiling or even yawning can be so contagious and how we feel empathy and compassion for other people.

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Will this make you happy?

In this week’s Success Newsletter, I would like to discuss what makes you happy and how that relates to Jim Carrey, Nelson Mandela and Eddie Murphy.

First a quick update:

**** “In Session TruTV – The James Ray Trial” – Watch the interview I will be giving on TruTV’s In Session live Monday March 28 at 2 PM EST when I give insights and analysis about the participant’s behavior and the role that James Ray played in the Sweat Lodge tragedy where 3 people died.

****  “Chris Brown and racism” – In a contentious interview on Good Morning America, Robin Roberts asks singer Chris Brown about the assault on Rihanna and the restraining order. Subsequently, Chris Brown allegedly became violent in his dressing room, threw an object at a window smashing it, took off his shirt and after several angry confrontations with show staff, left the building shirtless. Following the incident Brown Tweeted ”I’m so over people bring this past s**t up!! Yet we praise Charlie sheen and other celebs for [their] bullsh**t.” Is Chris Brown right? The media continues to hound Chris Brown for assaulting Rihanna while Charlie Sheen still remains the golden boy even though he, too, assaulted a woman; Nancy Grace yesterday attacked Lawrence Taylor for admitting in 2004 to often using 6 prostitutes a day but did she offer the same criticism to Charlie Sheen for the same behavior? Is racism an element in the different treatment by the media towards Brown and Sheen? Listen to the interview I give to Jim Peake of MySuccessGateway.com about our biases towards celebrities and violence against women:  http://patrickwanis.com/RadioInterviews.asp

Now, let’s talk about what makes you happy.

Greed is good!

Have you heard that statement?

It is often quoted from the 1987 movie, “Wall Street.”

In the film, Bud Fox, played by Charlie Sheen, is a Wall Street stockbroker yearning to get to the top and seeks to work with the high-powered, highly successful, ruthless and greedy broker Gordon Gekko played by Michael Douglas. Gekko eventually takes Bud Fox under his wing, promoting his philosophy that greed is good. As Fox works closely with Gekko, he soon becomes consumed by a world of shady business deals, the “good life”, fast money, and fast women, thus putting Fox at odds with his upbringing and his conscience.

The phrase “greed is good” has since been adopted into popular culture, although the actual quote from the movie Wall Street is:

“Greed, for lack of a better word, is good. Greed is right. Greed works. Greed clarifies, cuts through, and captures, the essence of the evolutionary spirit. Greed, in all of its forms; greed for life, for money, for love, knowledge, has marked the upward surge of mankind and greed, you mark my words, will not only save Teldar Paper, but that other malfunctioning corporation called the U.S.A.” says Gekko.

The claim – a belief for some – that greed is good has been attacked and blamed for much of today’s financial woes:

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How gullible are you?

In this week’s Success Newsletter, I would like to explore the question “How gullible are you?” Can you easily be conned or fooled?

First a quick update:

****  “Teens on Terrorism” – Witness the innocence and how much we have changed in our opinions about terrorism and loss of civil liberties in a clip from a TV special I co-hosted almost ten years ago and just posted to YouTube this week:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JaqI5tqgdwg

**** “James Ray and the Law of Attraction on trial” – Listen to the interview I give to Jim Peake of MySuccessGateway.com about the trial of James Ray charged with the reckless manslaughter of 3 people:
http://patrickwanis.com/How_Gullible_Are_You.asp

Now, let’s talk about gullibility; how gullible are you?

The dictionary defines gullible as: Naive and easily deceived or tricked; lack of guile or worldly experience; easily tricked because of being too trusting; unwary – not alert to danger or deception.

New Age Guru, NY Times bestselling author of “Harmonic Wealth: The Secret of Attracting the Life You Want”, and a featured teacher on “The Secret”, James Arthur Ray, is on trial charged with the reckless manslaughter of three people who died in James Ray’s sweat lodge when they attended his “Spiritual Warrior” retreat in October 2009. Of the 55 people who participated in the Sweat Lodge, some were doctors, engineers, salespeople, small-business owners and other professionals who paid $10,000 to break down personal barriers. And to do so, according to CNN and testimony this week during the trial, “they were willing to shave their heads, meditate in the desert for 36 hours without food and water, then symbolically die and be reborn in the sweat lodge ritual.”
Witnesses in the trial speak of some of the participants wanting to please James Ray and feeling intimidated by a man who made all sorts of promises such as “to have one of the most intense altered states you’ve ever had in your entire life.”  Participants engaged in extreme exercises that involved role-playing, sleep deprivation, lectures, journal writing, fasting for 36 hours and extreme physical challenges.

Some commentators such as marketing expert and author, Dave Lakhani, accuse James Arthur Ray of “cult tactics” and accuse the Law of Attraction as being nothing more than a “cult” belief. James Ray is a high profile teacher of The Law of Attraction.

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Selfish parents – mothers running from responsibility or redefining motherhood?

In this week’s Success Newsletter, I would like to discuss selfishness and the feature on the Today Show about “redefining motherhood or running away from responsibility?”

First a quick update:

****  “When and how to do an intervention” – Interventions & addiction: Do you have a friend or family member who is out of control and nothing seems to be working? What can you do or should you do to help them? Read my insights and suggestions in my article on my blog: “When and how to do an intervention”: http://patrickwanis.com/blog/2011/02/12/when-and-how-to-do-an-intervention/

****  “Is Harsh Judgment of Charlie Sheen Just Evidence of a Hollywood Double Standard?” – read my quotes and insights in the article by Hollie McKay of Foxnews.com on my blog: http://patrickwanis.com/blog/is-harsh-judgment-of-charlie-sheen-just-evidence-of-a-hollywood-double-standard/

Now, let’s talk about selfishness as it pertains to parenting.

Rhana Reiko Rizzuto was recently featured on the Today Show. She is a mother of two children and author of “Hiroshima in the Morning” – her memoir that reflects on her decision to leave her family, her husband and two small children, to study in Japan for 6 months. Rhana had received a grant to live in Japan to do research for her book and while she was away, she questioned her role as a wife and mother.

The kids visited her in Japan during her 6 months stay there, but the time apart led Rhana Reiko Rizzutto to realize that she didn’t want to be a full time mom anymore. “I had lost myself and I wanted to give myself a little more priority” she says.

When Rhana Reiko Rizzuto returned she ended her 20 year marriage leaving behind her two young sons – ages 5 and 3 and admitting she never wanted children – “I didn’t want to be a mother.”

Rhana told The Today Show that she struggled with being a good mother while staying true to herself: “We have to have the freedom to decide what it is we are going to do and how it is we are going to shape our motherhood, to shape our lives.”

Rhana Reiko Rizutto believes she is a good mother and that her children are well-adjusted and she refers to the quality time she now spends with her children: “I am able to pay attention to them for that block of 5 or 6 hours in a way that I otherwise wouldn’t be able to.”

Rhana claims that her children are not traumatized, they have a great life, two great households and everything they need.

While The Today Show describes the Rhana segment as “Redefining motherhood or running away from responsibility?”, Rhana sums up her choices as “I didn’t want to do give up my life for someone else.”

Her comments raise two key points – the evolution of the egocentric individual in the 21^st century and the pivotal point about parenting: who comes first, you or the children?

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Are you an impostor?

In this week’s Success Newsletter, I would like to pose the question that rips apart so many actors and celebrities as they struggle with “Am I an impostor?

First a quick update:

****  “Charlie Sheen – a danger to his kids?  – Listen to the interview I gave this morning to WVRX-FM 105.9 The Edge – The Kirk McEwen & Mike O’Meara Morning Show – after Brooke Mueller files a restraining order alleging Sheen was abusive to her and removed his kids from Sheen’s home.  This week I warned that Sheen is not just a danger to himself but potentially a danger to the people around him, including his children. Sheen said “I will murder for you, love you violently, defend you violently, with absolute hatred.”
http://patrickwanis.com/RadioInterviews.asp#danger2kids

Also watch the interview I gave to Australia’s The Morning Show about Charlie Sheen http://patrickwanis.com/Videos.asp and read the article on my blog “Charlie Sheen believes he is a loser”:
http://patrickwanis.com/blog/2011/02/28/charlie-sheen-believes-he-is-a-loser/

****

Now, let’s talk about one of the greatest struggles that faces all of us and which seems to derail actors and celebrities almost all of the time: the question “Am I an impostor?”

This past week, I have been inundated with requests for interviews (radio, television and print) to give my insights and perspective on Charlie Sheen. In an hour-long interview to Filippo Voltaggio: “LIFEChanges with Filippo (LCWF)” on the BBS Radio Network, I revealed the link between what we subconsciously believe we deserve, our success and how we respond to it; notice how many celebrities and successful people sabotage their success?

Listen to the interview here:
http://web.me.com/forzafilippo/Life_Changes/Archived_Shows/Entries/2011/2/28_Patrick_Wanis_on_LIFEChanges_With_Filippo.html

In 1987, speaking about the making of the film “Wall Street” Charlie Sheen said some very revealing things about himself and his self-doubt.

“I’d begun drinking all the time. We shot in New York City, so I’d be out to the bars every night till 3 or 4 a.m., then try to show up for a 6 o’clock call to stand toe to toe with Michael Douglas and handle 50% of a scene. How could that work? Yet there I was, the guy that struck gold, looking around at dawn to find that the only one still partying was me. I’d be drinking away, doing blow [cocaine], popping pills, and telling myself I wasn’t an addict, because there wasn’t a needle stuck in my arm. Talk about mixing up fantasy and reality! My true addiction was alcohol. The extra toxic boosters just helped me shore up the wall between my celebrity self and my real self. The questions I was running from were: ‘Is this success all a fluke? Had I been fooling everybody so far? Will I get caught?’ It was easy to get hammered and messed up. But in doing so, I buried my self-respect, I buried my self-esteem, I buried my creative drive, and I damned near buried myself.”

Almost 24 years later, has much really changed for Charlie Sheen?

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