6 Tips to letting go

In this week’s Success Newsletter, I would like to reveal the power of choosing to let go and 6 tips to letting go.

First a quick update:

“Letting go of the past”
What is acceptance and what does it mean to let go of the past? Learn and apply the secret to letting go of the past. https://patrickwanis.com/blog/let-go-of-the-past

Follow me on Twitter– You can now choose to follow me and receive a few words of wisdom on Twitter: @Behavior_Expert   https://twitter.com/Behavior_Expert

“Controlling your partner via sexual pleasure”
Whenever a person chooses to pleasure his/her partner, is it with the intention of controlling and dominating the partner? That’s the claim after it was revealed that Josh Duggar was a member of the cheating website ashleymadison.com Watch the video: https://youtu.be/TtFHpynjrQ4

Now, let’s talk about the power of choosing to let go and 6 tips to letting go.

What are the truly important things in life to you?

Does your list include a car, house, possession, pet, job, relationship, skill, future event, or something else?

Maybe it is just one thing.

How would you be without that precious thing?

Who would you be without that precious thing?

It is true that when we perceive something to be precious, we take care of it and we try hard to hold onto it, perhaps evento preserve it.

How hard do we need to hold onto “it”?

Some things (including relationships) are worth fighting for, worth holding onto.

However, as everything has a beginning, so too, does everything have an ending – even if that entails the passing of someone.

We usually welcome the beginning and struggle & suffer with the ending.

Some of us refuse to even recognize that this is the end – the end of a job, relationship or something else that we treasure.

And refusing to let go is what creates more pain and suffering.

The harder we try to hold onto something, the heavier it becomes and the more stress and fear we experience.

What is it that you are holding onto and which you are refusing to let go?

Whether it is a person, relationship or possession, we hold on because we believe that he/she or it controls our happiness; we believe that he/she or it is a key part of our identity and without him/her or it, we will be empty, possibly nothing.

 “Ah, she tastes like wine
Such a human being so divine
Oh she feels like sun
Mother Nature look at what you’re done
Oh I feel like letting go
Oh I feel like letting go.”
– Paul McCartney, in 1974, singing about the thin line between love and obsession and letting go by giving his then wife, Linda, more space and freedom.

We also cling on because we believe that comfort and happiness only exist in the known, in the predictable and the routine.

However, one of the happiest moments ever is when you find the courage to let go of what you cannot change.

“If you let go a little, you will have a little peace. If you let go a lot, you will have a lot of peace.” – Ajahn Chah

Unless and until you let go, you cannot move forward and you remain paralyzed.

What does letting go mean?

1. Letting go means accepting that what once was no longer is; like the flower that once bloomed so brightly, it has now withered and turned to dust. However, you rejoice, knowing that you will always have the memory and the joy of when it once bloomed.
2. Letting go means understanding and knowing that you will be okay (and allowing yourself to experience the grieving process.)
3. Letting go means redefining your identity.
4. Letting go means shifting and transforming your expectations.
5. Letting go means continuing to find happiness and joy within while continuing to welcome and experience new adventures, new people, new relationships and new opportunities.
6. Letting go means still being able to enjoy the present moment, grateful for everything that has ever been, is and will be in your life!

Let me close with a short true story:

Paul Moore, 36, of Farmington, Utah, is married to Joni and has two young daughters Ellie, 5 and Reese, 3.

Paul has cancer and has only a few months to live.

Paul has had radiation, six surgeries, including kidney removal and a hip replacement. He has to walk with the help of a cane because doctors say he could break his other hip by simply walking across the living room.

Paul chooses to focus on the time he has left with his family, and he and his wife express constant gratitude for the love that surrounds them. “The goodness of people? It has no boundaries”, says his wife Joni.

Choosing to let go and accept what is and what he cannot change, Paul Moore doesn’t focus on his illness or imminent passing. Instead he offers this advice about letting go:

“Please quit wasting time with negative thoughts. Let your perspective change. It’s worked for me. There are so many good people all around you. I’ve had to let those thoughts go and start driving in the slow lane. You can do this, too.”  https://www.foxnews.com/opinion/2015/09/29/dying-36-year-old-father-shares-final-advice.html 

“Letting go doesn’t mean that you don’t care about someone anymore. It’s just realizing that the only person you really have control over is yourself.”  ― Deborah Reber, Chicken Soup for the Teenage Soul

If you want further help and support, consider a private, one-on-one session with me. Click here to book your session. https://www.patrick-wanis.com/phone-consultations/

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I wish you the best and remind you “Believe in yourself -You deserve the best!”

Patrick Wanis Ph.D.
Celebrity Life Coach, Human Behavior & Relationship Expert & SRTT Therapist
www.patrickwanis.com