Archive for the ‘Blogroll’ Category

Celebrity issues No. 20 – Real issues – childhood & pre-fame issues

Monday, June 23rd, 2014
Celebrity issues No. 20 - Real issues – childhood & pre-fame issues

“Marriage brought up all the kind of things I pushed to the back-burner – the fear, the mistrust, the doubts, and the insecurities.” – Jennifer Aniston

Here is the final issue, No. 20 of the Top 20 issues of being a celebrity. For the previous article, for issues No. 18 and 19 click here.

 

20. “My real issue…” – Uncovering the core issues prior to becoming a celebrity

Every one of us has issues that were created during our childhood; something our parents (caretakers) did or didn’t do; something that resulted in painful emotions that we haven’t yet released along with disempowering subconscious beliefs that affect the way we view and interact with the people and world around us.

 

Just because you are famous and a celebrity doesn’t mean that those emotions and beliefs have magically disappeared or will magically disappear.

 

In other words, aside of the challenges that are the result of being famous (as explained above), like everybody else, your unique experiences and upbringing have combined to make you who you are and have created your perspectives. Of course, with the right help, they can be changed!

 

 

“He made me terrified all the time, terrified like I had to pee on myself. I remember one night he made her nose bleed. I was crying and thinking, ‘I’m just gonna go crazy on him one day.’ … I hate him to this day.”
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Celebrity issues No. 18, 19 – Cognitive dissonance and no one understands me

Tuesday, June 17th, 2014
Celebrity issues 18, 19  Cognitive dissonance and no one understands me

“Celebrity took a while for me to understand. I had to mature. I had to understand that being a celebrity was my new reality, I couldn’t avoid it” – Paul Michael Glaser (right) – Starsky & Hutch

Here are issues No. 18 & 19 of the Top 20 issues of being a celebrity. For the previous article, for issue No. 17, click here.

 

 

18. “I am so conflicted” – Cognitive Dissonance

Given the complexities of the life and phenomenon of a being celebrity, it is not surprising or unusual that every celebrity will experience extraordinary mental and emotional conflicts if not Cognitive Dissonance.

 

Cognitive Dissonance is the mental and emotional stress that is created when there are two contradictory thoughts, both of which you accept to be true.

 

Here are just a few of the contradictory thoughts:

 

  • I love fame/I hate fame
  • I am great/I am an impostor
  • My fans love me/Everyone uses me
  • I can do whatever I want/I am a product and everyone owns me
  • I have no privacy/I am all alone
  • I want everyone to see me & know me/I want to be left alone
  • Fame is equivalent to worthiness/fame is meaningless

 

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Celebrity issues No. 17 – Fraud and the impostor syndrome

Wednesday, June 11th, 2014
Celebrity issues No. 17 – Fraud and the impostor syndrome

“The questions I was running from were: ‘Is this success all a fluke? Had I been fooling everybody so far? Will I get caught?’” – Charlie Sheen

Here is issue No. 17 of the Top 20 issues of being a celebrity. For the previous article, for issue No. 16, click here.

 

 

17. “I am a fraud. They’re going to find out the truth about me” – Impostor Syndrome

This is the one issue that is common to everybody!

 

Everybody!

 

It doesn’t matter who you are, how famous, powerful, rich, successful, intelligent, educated or beautiful you might be; we all subconsciously doubt ourselves and question our value, believing that we are not good enough – we are impostors!

 

“I’d begun drinking all the time. We shot in New York City, so I’d be out to the bars every night till 3 or 4 a.m., then try to show up for a 6 o’clock call to stand toe to toe with Michael Douglas and handle 50% of a scene…The questions I was running from were: ‘Is this success all a fluke? Had I been fooling everybody so far? Will I get caught?’ It was easy to get hammered and messed up. But in doing so, I buried my self-respect, I buried my self-esteem, I buried my creative drive, and I damned near buried myself.”
-       Charlie Sheen, 1987, talking about the filming of “Wall St” and his challenges believing in himself and his value.  http://patrickwanis.com/blog/are-you-an-impostor/

 

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Celebrity issues No. 16 – Lack of responsibility & accountability, destruction of core values

Sunday, June 1st, 2014
Celebrity issues No. 16 - Lack of responsibility & accountability, destruction of core values

“The issue involved here was my repeated irresponsible behavior. I was unfaithful. I had affairs. I cheated.” – Tiger Woods

Here is issue No. 16 of the Top 20 issues of celebrities. For the previous article, for issue No. 15, click here.

 

 

16. “Everyone else will take care of it” – Lack of responsibility & accountability, and destruction of core values

It is true: when you are a celebrity, everyone around you will ‘take care of it’; they will take care of the problems – as long as it still benefits and profits them to do so.

 

When you say or do the wrong thing, the publicists, attorneys and managers will all move into place and do what they need to do to get you off the charges, appease the media & public and protect the brand. They will make contributions to the right charity; they will speak to the right judges; they will make the offer that others won’t refuse, and they will draft your statements – all with the sole intention to rid you of your ‘sins’ and ensure that you are still loved by the public and Hollywood i.e. so you won’t lose your massive sponsorship deals or be tossed out of the Riviera Country Club which cost you $300,000 membership.

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Celebrity issues No. 15 – Fame, destruction of family and relationships

Saturday, May 24th, 2014

Celebrity issues 15 Fame, destruction of family and relationships

“[We] were engulfed and then swept away by a wave of fame and fortune. It got rather too much for me to cope with.” – Jane Hawking, first wife, who divorced Stephen Hawking in 1990

Here is issue No. 15 of the Top 20 issues of celebrities. For the previous article, for issue No. 14, click here.

 

15. “Fame has destroyed my family/marriage” – Fame’s impact on relationships

Many people dream about being born into wealth and fame; some women even pursue the rich and famous man as a potential husband.

 

The belief is that by marrying into or being a part of the celebrity’s family, a new world will open – a world of glamour, parties, wealth and an endless life of luxurious vacations, palatial homes, servants and the very best of everything.

 

But the celebrity knows that this turns out to be a myth. There is even less time and attention for the people in the family of someone truly rich and famous,

 

The exposure to fame has a negative impact on the family and relationships.

 

Family members claim they feel invisible, secondary, ignored or robbed of the relationship; robbed of the person they love and cherish.

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Celebrity issues No. 14 – Denial & delusions of grandeur

Sunday, May 18th, 2014

Celebrity issues 14 Denial & delusions of grandeur

“[He]…is the Chosen One. He’ll have the power to impact nations.”
Tiger Woods’ father, Earl

Here is issue No. 14 of the Top 20 issues of celebrities. Click here for the previous article, for issue No. 13.

 

 

14. “I am invincible & almighty” – Denial and delusions of grandeur

By now it is clear that the people around you are going to build you up – your fans, audience and those with vested interests in you i.e. parasites, enablers, entourage and handlers. They will constantly mold and edify your ego; they will give you hypnotic suggestions reinforcing your power, greatness, significance, value and godlike status.

 

 

What is the result?

 

Delusions of grandeur, and denial about your reality.

 

 

“I really do believe he was put here for a bigger reason than just to play golf. I don’t think that he is a god, but I do believe that he was sent by one.”
-      Michael Jordan discussing Tiger Woods

 

 

“[He]…is the Chosen One. He’ll have the power to impact nations.”
-       Tiger Woods’ father, Earl, in 1996 predicting his son’s rise to the heavens, saying he will be bigger than Ghandi or Buddha

 

 

Some of the forms of delusions of grandeur have already been noted above – lack of boundaries, ‘the law doesn’t apply to me’, ‘It’s all about me’, ‘Don’t you know who I am’, ‘I am entitled’ and so forth. However, the other aspect of delusions of grandeur is the belief that money will continue to pour in forever, and abundance will never end.

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Celebrity issues No. 13 – Narcissism and the Fame Factor

Monday, May 12th, 2014
Celebrity issues No. 13 - Narcissism and the Fame Factor

“My greatest pain in life is that I will never be able to see myself perform live” – Kanye West

Here is issue No. 13 of the Top 20 issues of being a celebrity. Click here for the previous article, for celebrity issues 11 & 12.

 

 

13. “It’s all about me” – Narcissism – The Fame Factor

Narcissism is a disorder which is identified by lack of empathy, grandiose fantasies, promiscuity, inability to form meaningful relationships, excessive need for approval, extreme response to criticism (usually anger), rage, exaggerated self-absorption, social isolation and depression,

 

Narcissism usually occurs as a result of childhood upbringing, lack of attention, abandonment, neglect and so forth. Narcissism often reflects deep deficits in self-esteem which causes the extreme drive for over-compensation. Narcissism can also occur when a child was never taught boundaries and where the parents gave into every desire and whim of the child making him/her the center of the universe and oblivious to the existence and needs of others. This often occurs with children who had no siblings and were made the center of the universe for their entire childhood.

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Celebrity issues No. 11, 12 – Loss of intimacy, delusion & lack of boundaries

Thursday, May 1st, 2014
Celebrity issues No. 11, 12 - Loss of intimacy, delusion & lack of boundaries

“You waste a lot of energy on strangers to make a good impression.” – Michael Douglas

Here are issues No. 11 and 12 of the Top 20 issues of being a celebrity. Click here for the previous article, for issues 9 and 10.

 

 

11. “You love me, you really, really love me” – Loss of intimacy & delusion

In the movie, The Mask, Jim Carrey parodies a famous, though misquoted speech by Sally Field, when he is accepting an award and emotionally cries out, “Thank you! You love me. You really love me.” http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3TKK6d3-h2U

 

And though both the parody and the real Oscar acceptance speeches are directed at other Hollywood stars – the people who vote for the Oscars – the desire to be liked, loved and accepted is universal but much more exaggerated for celebrities.

 

And as the world of fame and all its trappings takes over (including the isolation, the loneliness, and the distance it creates with family), you turn to the fans to quest the thirst for intimacy – sometimes their ‘love and attention’ are much more overpowering and appealing than family since they are so vocal, abundant and constant; it is hard to resist the way they worship you – the deep well of cards, flowers, fan mail, cheers, loud thundering applause and constant attention.

 

 

“When you are younger you care what other people think. And you take the person closest to you for granted. You waste a lot of energy on strangers to make a good impression. When you’re older you focus that energy on the people closest to you, on your family. And you’re courteous.”
-       Michael Douglas explaining how he took for granted his wife, Catherine Zeta-Jones and focused on the attention and approval of others, thus resulting in the temporary split of their marriage

 

 

However, one day you awaken that it is not fulfilling since it is a pseudo-intimacy. It is even a parasocial relationship; it is one-sided with the fans having what they believe is a relationship with you. They don’t know the real you and you don’t know them. They think they know you but they know the image and no matter how much you pour out your heart, they cannot ease your pain or offer you unconditional love and acceptance.

 

I describe and explain intimacy as ‘into-me-you-see’, and you can never be truly vulnerable and emotionally naked with people who see and want to continue seeing you as a God or Goddess!

 

Further, the constant barrage of attention and deluge of eyes feels claustrophobic.

 

 

 12. “I can do whatever I want” – Lack of boundaries

Even if you were raised in a family with strict guidelines, respect for each other, unmistakable morality and clear boundaries, once fame, fortune and power enter your world and take over it, you will lose all sense of boundaries. The lines don’t become blurred; they simply dissolve and disappear. This is the result of ego and entitlement along with the dissolution of reality. The more people cater to your every whim and ceaselessly tell you that you are a God, the more you lose sense of reality and the more you believe there are no boundaries; no one can contain or control you; no one can tell you what to do. You also lose empathy for others.

 

For the next celebrity issues, No. 13, click here

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Celebrity issues No. 9, 10 – Fame addiction, desire for immortality

Wednesday, April 23rd, 2014
“One minute they love you, next thing you know, you are in front of that court house…” – Dave Chappelle

“One minute they love you, next thing you know, you are in front of that court house…” – Dave Chappelle

Here are issues No. 9 & 10 of the Top 20 issues of celebrities. For the previous article, for issue 8, click here.

 

 

 9. “Fame is my high” – Addiction to fame

Every artist knows and speaks about the extraordinary high that comes from performing and expressing one’s art – acting, singing, dancing, writing, drawing, directing and so forth. There is also an inexplicable high when performing under pressure and in front of a crowd of tens of thousands – such as a rock star in concert or an athlete, moved by the crowd, yet in his/her own mental zone as he scores that crucial point and victory.

 

Do all celebrities therefore have an addictive personality prior to becoming famous?

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Celebrity issues No. 8 – Ego and entitlement; I am untouchable

Thursday, April 17th, 2014
Celebrity issues No. 8 – Ego and entitlement; I am untouchable

“Do you know my name?” – Reese Witherspoon

Here is issue No. 8 of the Top 20 issues of celebrities. For the previous article, issues 6 & 7, click here.

 

 

 8. “Don’t you know who I am? I deserve more” – Ego and entitlement

Although this issue verges on narcissism, it is the direct result of being constantly told by the enablers, the fans and the public just how amazing you are. You also are told you are superior and along with the privileges, the power and the preferential treatment, you conclude that you do deserve better – you become entitled.

 

Your ego is inflated as the media turns to you for your opinions on topics unrelated to your talent; your opinion is treated as having more value than everyone else’s. Your opinion becomes the ‘voice of a god.’

 

“Why do you care what the Dixie Chicks say? They’re not political scientists? Stop worshipping celebrities so much.” [Dixie Chicks made negative comments about President George Bush and the war following 2003 invasion of Iraq.]
-       Dave Chappelle, comedian https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H7b5hJ0G_9c

 

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