Hatred will elect the next US President

hatred will elect the US president
Hatred will elect the US president

We would like to believe that we are enlightened beings controlled by our logical mind. However, we are actually controlled by our emotional mind.

All of our decisions and choices are ultimately driven by our emotions. Every decision can be traced back to a specific emotion – security, happiness, well-being, gratification, power, self-preservation and so forth.

Simply put, we are driven by the Pain and Pleasure Principle: we move away from pain and we move towards pleasure.

Thus, it is also emotions that drive our political choices; it is emotions of pain and pleasure which elect our leaders and presidents.

President George Bush was reelected in 2004 to his second term by pitching pain and fear by saying that there is an enemy that is out to get us and that he is the only one that can protect us. In 2008, the pendulum swung and Barack Obama was elected by pitching pleasure in the form of hope and change by saying, “Yes, we can.”

Now the pendulum has swung again, and it is fear in the form of anger and hatred that are spreading and forming the dominant emotions in US culture.

Republican presidential hopeful Donald Trump is leading the polls by warning of pain and appealing to, and fueling anger and hatred.

Trump is promoting fear by saying that we must be afraid of the illegal immigrants trying to cross the Mexican border (“They’re bringing drugs. They’re bringing crime. They’re rapists.”); we must be afraid of the Syrian refugees (“When the Syrian refugees are going to start pouring into this country, we don’t know if they’re ISIS, we don’t know if it’s a Trojan horse. And I definitely want a database and other checks and balances…if I win — they’re going back.”); we must be afraid of the Muslims (“I want surveillance of certain mosques” and a registry of all Muslims); we must be afraid of China, politicians and the establishment, and so forth.

When confronted by danger, it is natural that we will respond with fear which becomes apparent as the Fight-or-Flight Response. Donald Trump is pushing and working hard to keep us in that Fight-or-Flight Response – “fight” by promoting anger (stating “I’ll bring back waterboarding” as interrogation – “if it doesn’t work, they deserve it anyway”, and saying that the black protestor at his Birmingham rally deserved to be violently treated by white audience members (“Maybe he should have been roughed up”) and constantly reinforcing that although we need to be afraid, he will proudly rescue and lead us out of our misery and lead us to triumph.

Trump’s primary push is that we must be afraid of everyone that is different to us, we must become obedient to him and his plans (Trump stated that the black protestor at his Birmingham rally deserved to be violently treated because he was “obnoxious and loud”) , and that we must take pride in becoming the world super leader. Adolf Hitler used a similar approach to rise to power, to unite the German people in hatred and fear, to invoke obedience and the hatred and fear of the Jews, and ultimately to war with the world.

Unless, we awaken to become extremely conscious of our emotions, unless we consciously choose to engage emotional intelligence and compassion, we will inevitably elect the next US president based on anger and fear and hatred.


Khalifa – the disease of entitlement and anarchy

khalifa disease entitlement Anarchy in Greece as people riot over the collapsed economy  and anarchy
Anarchy in Greece as people riot over the collapsed economy

Everyone who lands in an airport in the US must go through immigration. There are signs posted that prohibit the use of cell phones within the immigration area. That means you might be in a line for a couple of hours and you are not allowed to use a cell phone. However, you can use your cell phone in most other areas of the airport. It’s not convenient to not be able to use your cell phone, particularly if you wish to let your waiting party know that you are in line, and should you choose to defy this ruling, you could easily be detained for hours or even arrested.

However, US rapper Wiz Khalifa posted social media messages saying “If man can make rules, that means you can make your own”, and “Do what you want kids.” This was Wiz Khalifa’s response to having been handcuffed after choosing to not listen to police who told him that he could not use a hoverboard in LAX airport. While on the ground, face down, he replied to the officer telling him to stop resisting “I am not resisting.” Later he posted a social media message saying “I am not resisting. I am doing what I want.”

These messages by Wiz Khalifa further promote and breed the disease of entitlement.

Entitlement is the belief that one is inherently deserving of privileges or special treatment. Simply put it is the belief that ‘I can do what I want, the rules do not apply to me, I’m above the law.’

This is a common issue amongst celebrities when they are stopped by law enforcement and don’t get their way: “Don’t you know who I am?” – Shia LaBeouf (2014); “Do you know my name?” – Reese Witherspoon (2013.)

In the above cases, LaBeouf and Witherspoon later apologized for their behavior.

However, Khalifa refused to admit he was wrong for not following police orders, and instead he chose to promote entitlement and anarchy by specifically and literally telling his followers, fans and the general public that they can do and should do whatever they want and that they should ignore the rules.  (Will he tell the same things to his own 2 year-old son, Sebastian, or does he expect him to listen to his father?)

Does Khalifa really want to promote anarchy – the complete and purposeful disregard of all authority?

Should people heed Khalifa’s message and do what they want – break into his cars and home? Should they enter the concerts and the movies of the celebrities without paying? Should they pirate music without paying any royalties? Should they ignore the rights and freedoms of all others by doing whatever they want, whenever they want? Should they defy all authority?

Anarchy can be justified when the people are being oppressed such as the time leading up to the French Revolution or the economic crisis in Greece. Khalifa is not being oppressed when he cannot use a hoverboard in an airport, and spreading the disease of entitlement amongst the young will not help the young nor set them free in any way; it will simply destroy their life when they realize that you cannot succeed by expecting things to be handed to you; you cannot succeed by being narcissistic, thinking only of yourself and lacking empathy & consideration for others, and; should you truly want special treatment, you must earn it and the respect others!



Links to personal health – spend less for medical care

Links to personal health - spend less for medical care
Links to personal health – spend less for medical care

Very few people really appreciate the value of health until the moment they get really ill.

I recall at age 18, standing on platform of a train station and observing people rushing to work, when I thought to myself “all of these people are spending all of their health to get wealth and one day, they will be spending all of their wealth to try and get back their health.”

Truly, your personal health  is priceless. And the only way to take care of your health is to take care of yourself on 4 levels – Mental, Emotional, Physical and Spiritual.

Mental – nourish your thoughts and beliefs

Emotional – nourish your relationships with yourself and others

Physical – nourish your physical body (food, exercise, yoga, etc.)

Spiritual – nourish your purpose – live with passion, make a difference, give back to others.


The list below is a series of links to articles and resources compiled by Patricia Sarmiento “Putting the Public Back in Public Health” of http://publichealthcorps.org/ with the intention of helping you to take better care of yourself and family, live longer lives and spend less on medical care.



12 Simple Ways to Save Money on Healthcare


Be Active. National Council on Fitness, Sports & Nutrition


Health Risk & Fitness Assessments


Tips For Eating Healthy While Eating Out


Travel workout: Fitness tips for business travelers


NIEHS Allergens & Irritants Guide


The Guide to Animal and Insect Allergen-Free Homes


Toxic Chemicals In Your Home


The Ultimate Guide to Pool Chemical Safety for Kids



Forgive the Duggars? Not yet

Should we forgive the Duggar parents? Not yet
Should we forgive the Duggar parents? Not yet. (photo: FOX News screengrab)

Michelle and Jim Bob Duggar, the parents of Josh Duggar, who molested four of his sisters, one as young as five, spoke to FOX News’ Megyn Kelly, and that interview reveals that they are in denial of what truly happened, its severity and the painful consequences.

In 2002, Jim Bob said that incest should be a capital crime punishable by death. However, both he and his wife simply believe that what Josh did to his sisters and another girl was simply “bad choices…inexcusable but was not unforgivable.”

Can we forgive the parents?

As I will reveal, Jim Bob and Michelle:

1. Failed to protect their children
2. Did not adequately report the multiple molestations to authorities
3. Deny that what Josh did was actual sexual molestation
4. Reveal empathy only for Josh and themselves and not for the victims
5. Refuse to believe that what they themselves did was wrong
6. Play the victims themselves
7. Refuse to ask for forgiveness or repent for their hypocrisy of judgment

Continue reading “Forgive the Duggars? Not yet” »


Should we forgive Josh Duggar?

should we forgive Josh Duggar
Should we forgive Josh Duggar (photo credit TLC)

What did he do?

Josh Duggar, 27, of TLC’s “19 Kids and Counting” molested five underage girls, including four of his sisters (ages 5 -12) when he was 14 and again when he was 15.  Josh confessed to his father on three different occasions that he molested his then 5-year-old sister.

He and his parents kept it a secret from the public. The molestations were only revealed recently due to Freedom of Information submission exposing a police report of 2006.

Is all of it his fault? What did his parents do?

The parents never reported it to police even though the father Jim Bob in 2002 stated that incest should be punishable by death.


The parents only mentioned one incident to a friend who was a police officer and he gave Josh a “stern talking to” and never reported it to anyone else. That man was later sentenced to 56 years in prison for child pornography.


Why are we angry?

Josh Duggar didn’t receive immediate counseling. He wasn’t registered as a sex offender. He didn’t suffer any real consequences and the incidents occurred more than once in 2002 and again in 2003, which implies the parents didn’t adequately protect the sisters. He molested his sisters a total of 7 times! By the time the police found out in 2006, about the multiple molestations, some of which would be felonies, the statute of limitations had expired and Josh was never appropriately punished.  Jim Bob and Michelle Duggar could also have been prosecuted for permitting abuse of a minor, but again the statute of limitations had expired.

There is also widespread anger because Josh and the parents made pedophilia a big vocal issue often warning people that gays are pedophiles but never mentioning their own story and Josh’s guilt and past.


What is forgiveness?

Forgiveness is ‘giving understanding for’ what happened. Forgiveness does not condone the action, nor does it absolve a person of the consequences of his/her actions, or of their responsibility for redemption or restitution.


Have his victims forgiven him?

It seems that his sisters may have forgiven him. Although, the names of the five victims including 4 of his sisters have been redacted, the 4 eldest sisters Jill, Jinger, Jessa and Jana wrote in 2014 in their book, “Growing Up Duggar”, in the chapter “Your Relationship With Your Sibling”, that we must forgive every person who wrongs us:


“The choice to forgive doesn’t always free the other person from the consequences of his or her wrong actions, but it frees the forgiver of negative feelings towards the offender.”


What do we need to forgive?

There have been no legal consequences for Josh Duggar. We cannot verify if he is truly repentant. He did resign from his post at the Family Research Council and he publicly apologized and said he sought forgiveness from his victims. However, many people feel duped because he loudly condemned pedophilia but never admitted his guilty past: what is missing is his request for forgiveness from everyone that watched his show, supported his beliefs and activism, and from the public in general.


The final word

I believe wholeheartedly in forgiveness and compassion. For the 5 victims of Josh Duggar’s sexual abuse, forgiveness is paramount because it sets them free.

For the public to forgive Josh Duggar for his actions of incest and his condemnation of others while hiding his own wrongdoing, he will need to do 4 things: 1. Ask sincerely and humbly for forgiveness; 2. Explain openly without excuses why he chose to hide his actions from his fans, followers and the public for 12 years; 3. Reveal what he did to redeem himself with his victims; 4. Explain what he has learned from this experience and reveal what he would do now if one of his sons committed the same act against one of his daughters!

Other Duggar related articles:

Was Josh Duggar molested?

Beware of Projecting

Should we forgive Josh Duggar? 

Forgive the Duggars? Not yet? 


The new secret domestic violence – children as abusers

The new secret domestic violence -  children as abusers
The new secret domestic violence – children as abusers

A study in Western Australia reveals that there is a new form of secret domestic violence – children are assaulting siblings and parents.


The report, by Women’s Health and Family Services reveals that in more than 2000 cases ¬reported between 2009 and 2014 police charged adolescents (10-17) with assault and other acts of violence against their siblings, parents and care-givers. There were 181 arrests of adolescents for domestic sexual assault.


Parents are being abused by their children and are too ashamed to report it to police and authorities.


People working in the field have known for a long time that children are also involved as perpetrators of domestic violence.



1. Surrounded by violence
Many children are already growing up in families and environments of violence i.e. they themselves were victims of violence or they have witnessed violence within the family and accordingly they learn to express and respond with violence; they repeat what they see and what they experience – violent behavior. Hostility and constant conflicts within the family can also lead to violent behavior by the children.

Further, I have young clients who were sexually abused by an older sibling who was sexually abused by someone else in the family. One client was a male who was sexually abused by an older sister.


2. Unmet needs/mental health problems
The child’s emotional and psychological needs are not being met, and many children suffer from mental health problems but are not receiving adequate help if any at all – depression, post-traumatic stress disorder, substance abuse problems, and anxiety disorder. Note that the greatest group at risk is single mothers.


3. Feelings of shame/alienation
Third, the primary psychological cause of violence is shame. In other words, these children experience feelings of being disrespected, demeaned & debased, feeling insignificant, worthless leads to feelings of shame that then trigger anger and then violence. Children also need to be adequately taught to understand and regulate their emotions as well as their responses to their emotions.



“Traditionally, most people think of family violence as being perpetrated by men against women, but it is the case that more recently we’ve become more aware of the violence perpetrated by women and young people, sons and daughters, and that is particularly stigmatizing for families.”
– Women’s Health and Family Services project officer Sarah Broadhead

Continue reading “The new secret domestic violence – children as abusers” »


5 Reasons police lose control and kill

Policeman shoots Walter Scott in the back,  killing him; Sheriff begins to kick Francis Pusok - eventually 11 Sheriffs join in on the beating, kicking and punching.
Policeman shoots Walter Scott in the back, killing him; Sheriff begins to kick Francis Pusok – eventually 11 Sheriffs join in on the beating, kicking and punching.

In the same week, we saw it on video, Walter Scott, an unarmed black man in SC fleeing was shot in the back and killed by a policeman, and in CA, Francis Pusok, a white man stealing a horse was beaten, kicked and punched by a total of 11 (white and black) County Sheriffs while he lay flat on the ground on his stomach.


What we are seeing on video is multiple examples of excessive force, brutality and homicide by law enforcement officers – trained people who swore to uphold the law and to protect and serve the innocent.


Since as far back as 1972, it has been commonly believed that “the typical policeman is cynical, suspicious, conservative, and thoroughly bigoted.” However, in all the studies conducted in over six decades and across 3 continents, there is no definitive police personality profile that has ever been identified.

So how do we explain without condoning violent police behavior – excessive force, shootings, beatings and killings?


  1. Inadequate psychological screening – The existing psychological screening test for candidates for law enforcement focuses on the type of candidates that should be excluded rather than giving equal focus to the type of candidates that should be included.

Continue reading “5 Reasons police lose control and kill” »


Angry attacks over Terry Richardson

A photo from Terry Richardson's old Tumblr account angry attacks over Terry Richardson
A photo from Terry Richardson’s old Tumblr account

The following is an email exchange between an angry reader and Patrick Wanis as a result of an article by FOX News quoting Wanis; the article reveals that Playboy magazine is using controversial fashion photographer Terry Richardson who has been accused of sexual assault spanning a decade.  Additional reading and links to Terry Ricardson photos are below.


—–Original Message—–
From: Patrick Wanis
Sent: Friday, February 27, 2015 6:26 AM
To: Karen P
Subject: FW: Need for a therapist.

Dear Karen,

I see N…. sent you my original quotes and you will notice that I was comparing the Bill Cosby case with Terry Richardson as a way to explain why people don’t care as much about Richardson as they do about Cosby who is the product – America’s dad.


Second, the fact that Terry Richardson is still shooting for the biggest fashion corporations in the world and for the biggest celebrities simply validates my assertion that people don’t care about the photographer as much as they care about the photo.


Third, the reporter did not ask me for my opinions about whether or not the above is right or wrong, nor was I asked about its effect on women.


Fourth, I suggest you research my work to determine whether or not I express concern for women and insight into women’s issues – http://youtu.be/btwwRycL-pk






Fifth, you call him a “sexual predator”; I do not as there are no charges against him and no conviction. I do, however, mention “accusations” against him.


Sixth, if you truly want to make change, then you should be contacting the celebrities that actually hire him – Beyonce, Lady Gaga, Miley Cyrus (he produced her video “Wrecking Ball” which has over 700 million views), Barrack Obama, Martha Stewart, Marilyn Manson, Mariah Carey, Sharon Stone, Gwyneth Paltrow, Cameron Diaz, Megan Fox, Lindsay Lohan, Kat Dennings, Liza Minnelli, Katy Perry, Kate Moss, Miranda Kerr, Kim Kardashian, Samuel L. Jackson, Tracy Morgan, Jared Leto, Amy Winehouse, Jon Bon Jovi, A$AP Rocky, Pharrell Williams, Lil Wayne, Daft Punk, Shaun White, LeBron James, and hundreds of other celebrities!

Continue reading “Angry attacks over Terry Richardson” »


15 Quotes 50 Shades that reveal abuse, violence & rape

15 Quotes from 50 Shades of Grey that reveal abuse, violence and rape
15 Quotes from 50 Shades of Grey that reveal abuse, violence and rape

Do women want a man who will control, dominate, intimidate, scare, abuse and rape them?

Is that what women truly aspire to experience in a relationship?

Is this the way women secretly fantasize about being treated?


The following 15 quotes from the book 50 Shades of Grey reveal a woman who is an abuse victim and who would be categorized as suffering from Stockholm Syndrome. So why do readers and moviegoers admire her character?

Even Jamie Dornan who plays Christian Grey in the movie cannot explain it.

“I wonder what it is about this set of books that has, excuse my pun, penetrated the global market. Mass appreciation doesn’t always equate to something good. Think of Hitler! But I think, in this case, it must. It simply must. There’s got to be merit in it if so many people agree.”
–       Actor Jamie Dornan – confused and unable to offer reasons and an explanation for women’s fascination with 50 Shades of Grey

The movie is also telling men that women want to be abused; they want to be dominated, controlled, humiliated, criticized and raped!

Watch both videos below.

Read my articles:

50 Shades – do women pine to be abused & controlled?
50 Shades promotes domestic violence
Falling in love with abusers

15 Quotes from 50 Shades of Grey that reveal abuse, violence and rape

  1. ‘You need to learn to manage my expectations. I am not a patient man.’ [Christian Grey]


  1. He’d probably like to beat seven shades of shit out of me. The thought is depressing.


  1. “Please don’t hit me,” I whisper, pleading.


  1. “You scare me when you’re angry,” I breathe, staring at him.


  1. I don’t want him to beat me, is that so unreasonable?

Continue reading “15 Quotes 50 Shades that reveal abuse, violence & rape” »


Miley Cyrus’ distorted Free The Nipple foray

Miley Cyrus free the nipple
Miley Cyrus’ post on Instagram

Women are fighting for equality in the realm of breasts.


Why cannot a woman’s breasts and nipples be seen in public the way a man’s breasts and nipples can, asks The Free The Nipple campaign, which boasts a full-length feature film. The campaign refers to itself as movement to empower women against “female oppression and censorship.”


“There’s still so many laws against women’s bodies but barely any against men,” says movement founder Lina Esco. Various celebrities are supporting the campaign such as Rihanna, Liv Tyler, Lena Dunham, Scout Willis (she instigated a topless protest on the streets of New York in 2014) and Miley Cyrus.

However, Miley Cyrus did not protest topless on the streets.

Instead, she chose to superimpose her childhood face on the topless bodies of adult women!


Why did Miley Cyrus Photoshop child faces on women’s bodies? What is her message?

Cyrus is trying to say that we see children’s nipples as non-sexual – acceptable for all to view – and therefore we should also view adult women’s nipples as non-sexual.  However, one cannot change or transform social and cultural meanings overnight nor by instantly adding children’s faces over a woman’s topless body, for all that achieves is to force people to see the images as child porn and not as an attempt to make actual cultural changes.

Continue reading “Miley Cyrus’ distorted Free The Nipple foray” »