In this week’s Success Newsletter, I would like to reveal the latest scientific discovery – the key to peace and happiness and how it can also help to conquer depression, anxiety and addiction.

First a quick update:

•  Healthy Relationships – Roshan – a reader wrote to me for more clarity surrounding healthy relationship and I will be answering this in detail in a future newsletter, along with answers to his questions “What do two healthy people ask from each other? How do they avoid using each other to get their own needs met?” Meanwhile, you can also read my newsletter from April 12, 2007: Healthy Relationships. I reveal that there are six elements that also play a significant role in building and keeping a relationship strong so that both partners feel loved and fulfilled:   http://patrickwanis.com/blog/index.php/healthy-relationships/2007/04/12/

Now, let’s talk about the latest scientific discovery which offers the possible key and door to peace, happiness and freedom – and from depression, anxiety, stress, compulsion, addictions and post traumatic stress disorder.

On the weekend of April 15 – 18, 2010 in San Jose California, a rather bizarre conference was held: Psychedelic Science in the 21^st century. The conference was not, as one might expect, attended by former hippies or present day junkies but rather its attendees and presenters included world renowned doctors, researchers and scientists such as:

• Andrew Weil M.D. – Integrative medicine proponent
• Charles Grob, M.D. – UCLA psilocybin researcher
• Stanislav Grof, M.D. – co-founder of transpersonal psychology
• Roland Griffiths, Ph.D. – principal investigator for CSP’s Johns Hopkins psilocybin study
• Ralph Metzner, Ph.D. – consciousness researcher and psychotherapist

The purpose of the conference was to discuss the results of studies of psychedelics for the treatment of depression and acute anxiety in cancer patients, obsessive-compulsive disorder, end-of-life anxiety, post-traumatic stress disorder and addiction to drugs and alcohol. These studies were conducted in the US, Canada, Switzerland and Israel amongst other nations.

And what are the findings and results of these studies?

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In this week’s Success Newsletter, I would like to reveal some of the things that easily destroy love and relationships and, reveal one of the most powerful questions you can ever ask your partner to help revive the love.

First a quick update:

• Precious – Gabby and fat acceptance – Read the transcript of the interview I gave to the Colombian magazine “Semana” about Gabourey Sidibe and her portrayal of Precious; can Hollywood and the public truly accept a 350-pound obese actress and woman, and, what is the positive message from both the movie and Gabby’s personal life? http://patrickwanis.com/blog/index.php/precious-gabby-and-fat-acceptance/2010/04/19/

• 4 things men want versus 4 things women want – For my Australian subscribers, watch the TV interview I will be giving Thursday April 22^nd at 9:40 AM on Seven’s The Morning show during my visit to Australia

Now, let’s talk about the things that kill love and relationships, and, share with you the most powerful question you can ask your partner.

Famous singer and composer, Roberta Flack had a hit in 1972 with her song, “Where is the love?”

Where is the love

You said was mine all mine

Till the end of time

Was it just a lie?

Where is the love?

As a Human Behavior and relationship expert, I have worked with many clients in relationships who seem to share that same and common complaint: we have grown apart and the love is gone.

Some of these clients have been married for a handful of years and others for ten and twenty years. The common complaint I hear is that the couple now lives more as roommates than a loving couple and often the only thing that binds them together is the children. One man, married for almost twenty years, told me he eagerly desires to revive the romance and love but has no idea how and wonders if it is too late. He says his wife has become like a cold fish and they seem to be more business partners than two people lovingly devoted to each other. Another man, Enzo, married for fifteen years, told me that he feels he and his wife live separate lives – she takes care of the children and house and he takes care of the business and finances. He even resents the fact that she knows nothing about his business or how to manage their finances. I asked Enzo: “If your wife was loving and giving and you had a powerful and exciting physical connection, full of romance, then you wouldn’t resent her for the role she plays or her lack of knowledge or interest in the finances; would you?”

‘You are right, Patrick. I would not resent her. And you are right – that is the source of my anger.’

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In this week’s Success Newsletter, I would like to respond to the storm of responses to last week’s newsletter about Sandra Bullock, and add some points.

First a quick update:

•   Why gay artists are still hiding – Read the transcript of the interview I gave to the Colombian magazine “Semana” about artists who still hide their sexual orientation: http://patrickwanis.com/blog/index.php/why-gay-artists-are-still-hiding/2010/04/13/

Now, let’s talk about the storm of responses to last week’s newsletter about Sandra Bullock.

In that letter, I discussed the scandal of Jesse James who cheated on and betrayed his wife Sandra Bullock multiple times.  

I made three key points and suggestions:

1. For women: beware of falling in love with a man’s potential and do not waste your time trying to change him – because men resist change and usually only decide to change when it is too late
2. For men and women: ensure when entering into a relationship that your morals, core values and principals are in alignment; that also applies to business relationships
3. For men: Responsibility for one’s actions is not equal to a cry of addiction or victimhood i.e. Jesse James is not being a real man when he attempts to escape accountability and consequences by using a false excuse of “I am a sex addict” instead of admitting the real reasons he engaged in this behavior of deceit, betrayal and infidelity (lack of morals & values, lack of self-discipline & self-control, selfishness, narcissism, instant gratification.)

The response to last week’s newsletter was enormous.

Sandy wrote:

“Dear Patrick.  That is such a profound statement, I too have experienced it myself.”

Sensei Heath wrote:

“Awesome article on Sandra Bullock.  Great insight Patrick.”

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In this week’s Success Newsletter, I would like to discuss lessons that can be gleaned from Sandra Bullock.

First a quick update:

ü  Color energy portrait – Joy DiMenna, a highly talented and international artist, has created a new style of painting and art form including energetic portraits of pure color and shapes. Joy has painted a portrait of me which is featured in her new book In Loving Color. In the book, Joy shares with you the messages of Color in stunning paintings, elegant prose, and playful yet profound verse, igniting your Soul, healing your cells, and loving you into your mission. Joy is a friend whom I helped to recapture her love for art her true calling; her newest creation is spectacular http://www.gatherinsight.com/shop/books/3172.html

ü  Mike Tyson – clarification – Some readers wrote to me regarding last week’s Success Newsletter: Overcoming yourself. Accordingly, I wish to clarify that I am not suggesting that Mike Tyson – a convicted rapist – be a role model but rather that we recognize that Mike Tyson was beaten and bullied as child and he overcame that to become a great boxer, and, that he is still trying to overcome his deep seated anger as well as his anguish and pain over the tragic death of his four-year-old daughter. www.patrickwanis.com/blog

Now, let’s talk about lessons from Sandra Bullock.

World famous actress, Sandra Bullock is recognized as Hollywood and America’s sweetheart. Most of the characters she has portrayed on screen tend to have similar characteristics – highly likeable, vulnerable and tough yet tender and compassionate; funny, self-deprecating, brave, feminine yet not afraid to get her hands dirty and work hard; fighting for the underdog and her principles, and maintaining integrity. In almost all of the characters Sandra Bullock has played, she is often seen as the sweet girl-next-door-type.

Why is this relevant?

It is these characters that have endeared Sandra Bullock to so many fans; and these qualities sum up most people’s perceptions of her in real life. And yes, in many ways, Sandra Bullock’s on screen characters reflect her off screen persona.

Accordingly, many people were shocked and angered to learn about the betrayal and multiple affairs of her husband Jesse James. The pain and betrayal extends even deeper when considering that it was Sandra Bullock who was gushing to Barbara Walters in a TV interview that her husband, Jesse, had her back and that it was Sandra who fought hard alongside her husband to win custody of his children from his ex-wife – a former adult actress.

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