The following is a transcript of Sue McGarvie, host of Ottawa’s EZ Rock 99.7 “Love & Lipstick” interviewing Celebrity Life Coach and Human Behavior & Relationship Expert, Patrick Wanis Ph.D. about the art of flirting – from the male perspective

Sue McGarvie:          Hey, this is Sue on Love and Lipstick, and we are joined right now by Dr. Patrick Wanis Ph.D. who is joining us from California. He is a human behavior and relationship expert and he’s talking to us about flirting tonight. Patrick, how are you?

Patrick Wanis Ph.D.:           I’m doing great. Thank you, Sue.

Sue McGarvie:          All right. You have this interesting insight as to – from a male perspective what women need to do in order to catch your eye?

Patrick Wanis Ph.D.:           Yeah, often what we hear about flirting is always from the girls’ perspective, “Oh, this is what you should do.” But coming from a male perspective, then, I’m standing on the other side and saying, “Here’s what I really want. Here’s what I really need. Here’s what I would like.”

Sue McGarvie:          Okay. Well, I’ve just watched The Ugly Truth. They’re saying that all men are sort of Neanderthals. They’re all really looking for sort of what we look like in that hourglass figure and it really isn’t about engaging. But if you’re looking at how to meet somebody initially, how do you want to be approached?

Patrick Wanis Ph.D.:           Yes. You said something really interesting, Sue. You talked about the Neanderthal, and I think there are two layers to every man. There’s the Neanderthal and then there’s hopefully the evolved brain, but there is actually three parts to our brain. So yes, the thing that gets our attention is the physicality or something that’s really in our face. So men are not about being subtle. They really want you or I should say we really want you to get our attention.

                                    Now, you can get our attention by the physicality in terms of what you’re wearing or how you look and what body shape you have, but you can also get our attention by really doing something that’s going to – I don’t want to use the word “startle” but something that’s a little out of the usual, that’s going to be a little bit different. Now, what I mean by that is it’s very, very old but we talked about winking.

                                    Now, I’m not saying that a girl should wink at a guy but making eye contact is what really gets a guy going. Now, if a girl makes eye contact with a guy and then sort of looks down, gets him intrigued and that’s much stronger and more impactful than say trying to get someone to go up to the guy and say, “Oh, my friend is interested in you.” That doesn’t work. It’s better if a girl is actually making a direct contact with the guy.

Sue McGarvie:          Okay. So this works in not just in bars but in bookstores, in coffee shops, I would say, in the wine tasting classes that we take around here. They are really big. Do you suggest those for all of that?

Patrick Wanis Ph.D.:           All of the places are applicable with the exception, of course, of the church which you can do after the church, but not while you’re in service, while in church, synagogue, et cetera. But my point is what you want to do is let the man know that there’s some interest on your part in him, then you sort of turn away so that he comes chasing after you.

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The following is a transcript of the responses, analysis and insights by Celebrity Life Coach and Human Behavior Expert, Patrick Wanis Ph.D. to a Chicago Tribune reporter’s questions about Steven Slater, The JetBlue flight attendant who became so fed up with an argument with a passenger, that he flipped out, cursing the passenger over the intercom, grabbing a beer and then deploying the emergency slide at New York’s Kennedy Airport. Patrick Wanis Ph.D. reveals the link between Slater’s actions, rampant stress in society, frustration with rude people, a backlash against big corporations and increasingly decaying work conditions and pressure.

Reporter:                    Steven Slater, a flight attendant on JetBlue, just got fed up with a passenger, grabbed a beer off the cart and went out the emergency chute. So, what do you think is going on there? That’s kind of snapping in the workplace, isn’t it?

Patrick Wanis:          Well, most of us would equate it to snapping in the workplace except fortunately, he didn’t engage in any acts of violence. I mean, it wasn’t a situation where he had any weapons or he had access to weapons fortunately. Yes, he did respond in a verbally violent manner from what I understand in terms of grabbing the intercom, I think, and either cussing out all of the passengers or cussing out that particular passenger. I also understand that when this passenger was taking the bag down, he apparently hit Mr. Slater in the head which would obviously also trigger Mr. Slater’s anger.

I think the first key point here is to say that any time that a person snaps in a workplace or loses it or responds in a manner that doesn’t seem to make immediate sense, we know that they’re under a lot of stress and that stress usually has little to do with the workplace and it’s usually stress from outside of the home. When I’m leading training programs for companies and corporations, the first thing I say is understand that your employees and we as humans cannot separate our personal life from our business life. That means we bring from home all of our stuff to work.

Now, having said that, it’s interesting because now, reports are coming out that his mother is dying from lung cancer and there have been other problems within his own personal life. So what happens is we completely change as human beings in a workplace setting when our stress level skyrockets.

So here is a man that probably was already under a lot of stress and all he needed was the trigger to do as what you would call to ‘snap’, and that trigger was this passenger not following the rules, standing up and trying to reach for his bags when he’s not meant to, et cetera. The effects of stress cannot be overstated here; we completely change personality, temperament and even control of our emotions when the stress becomes too much. At that point, we can engage in all sorts of strange and erratic behavior that can include violent behavior.  [For a detailed explanation and list of the effects of stress and a list of the symptoms of stress, read Patrick Wanis Ph.D.’s article “You’re not crazy” from August 2008. Click here: http://patrickwanis.com/blog/index.php/2009/08/19/youre-not-crazy/]

We also don’t know if Steven Slater was on any sort of medication? Because medication can also lead to acts of violence or to the possibility that he wasn’t in fully control of his emotions. Having said that, maybe he snapped when he cussed the person out and at that point, he said okay, this is all too much for me. I am out of here. So he grabs a beer and he opens the emergency chute and he literally gets out of here.

The next question you’re going to ask I’m guessing is, “Why is so much of the public on his side? Correct?

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The following is a transcript of Alan Stock, host of Las Vegas, Newsradio 840 KXNT, interviewing Celebrity Life Coach and Human Behavior Expert, Patrick Wanis Ph.D. about actor Charlie Sheen who according to a police report threatened his wife, saying “I’ll kill you.”

According to the police report, Brooke Mueller says her husband Charlie Sheen sat on her, strangled her, and held a knife to her throat on Christmas day.  Charlie Sheen was arrested on Christmas Day after Brooke Mueller, his third wife, told police he had pulled a knife on her and threatened to have her killed; Sheen pleaded guilty to misdemeanor third degree assault and could have gotten 3 years in jail but a judge sentenced Sheen to a 30-day jail term, and was ordered to undergo 36 hours of counseling on domestic violence.  Sheen will receive credit for time already spent in rehab and so he avoids any jail time.

Alan Stock:                Hello, Dr. Wanis. Good to have you with us.

Dr. Patrick Wanis:    Thank you.

Alan Stock:                So people are saying weird things about Mel Gibson. Of course, he seems pretty weird if you want to know the truth. But they’re not saying enough about some of the other people. You’re concerned about that?

Dr. Patrick Wanis:    Well, what I’m concerned about is the example of Charlie Sheen. Now, Charlie Sheen pleaded guilty to assaulting his wife. He actually did a plea deal so that they would drop some of the other more serious charges. Not only that, but it’s even being reported today on FoxNews.com and also on RadarOnline that Charlie Sheen’s wife, Brook Mueller, told officers that she was terrified because she claimed that Charlie Sheen threatened her on Christmas day saying, “I’ll kill you. Your mother’s money means nothing. I have ex-police I can hire who know how to get the job done and they won’t leave any trace.” Now, this is a guy that’s pleaded guilty. The judge only gave him 30 days – and as a result of going to rehab, he’s not even going to go to jail. But no one is complaining about this.

Alan Stock:                Well, she’s trying to get back with him though.

Dr. Patrick Wanis:    Well, regardless of whether she’s making the mistake of getting back together with him, here is a guy that actually put a knife to her throat for 20 minutes.

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The following is a transcript of Alan Stock, host of Las Vegas, Newsradio 840 KXNT, interviewing Celebrity Life Coach and Human Behavior Expert, Patrick Wanis Ph.D. for insights and analysis about bad celebrities – do we ban them?

Actor Charlie Sheen was arrested on Christmas Day after Brooke Mueller, his third wife, told police he had pulled a knife on her and threatened to have her killed; Sheen pleaded guilty to misdemeanor third degree assault and could have gotten 3 years in jail but a judge sentenced Sheen to a 30-day jail term, and was ordered to undergo 36 hours of counseling on domestic violence.  Sheen will receive credit for time already spent in rehab and so he avoids any jail time.

According to Celebrity Life Coach and Human Behavior & Relationship Expert, Patrick Wanis PhD, we should separate the art from the artist but also adds that there needs to be a limit. Patrick Wanis also identifies favoritism and vested interest i.e. money and profits in the Charlie Sheen scandal.

Male:                          Alan Stock is driving you home on the news leader for Las Vegas, Newsradio 840 KXNT. 

Alan Stock:                4:12 at Newsradio 840 KXNT.  A good afternoon to you, I’m Alan Stock and I want to thank so much for joining us on this Monday afternoon, joining us right now in the KXNT live line Patrick Wanis, human behavior and relationship expert, talking about bad celebrities.

Patrick, good afternoon, and welcome to Newsradio 840 KXNT. 

Patrick Wanis:          Thank you, Alan. 

Alan Stock:                I appreciate you taking the time to join us.  So, you know, I got this interesting release that you sent to my producer and program director, Bob Agnew, that says that we need to separate the art from the artist and realize many artists and entertainers are dysfunctional and not necessarily morally good people.  That’s true, but how do you separate? 

I mean, if you’re looking at somebody on the screen like Mel Gibson knowing the things that he said about Jews and blacks and about women and things like that, how do you separate yourself from that kind of stuff? 

Patrick Wanis:          Well, it’s not easy to separate.  I think the first challenge we have is that we know too much about their personal lives.  In the sense that – I want to use this as an example, Alan, I know that you know who Cecil B. DeMille is? 

Alan Stock:                I do. 

Patrick Wanis:          He produced, he directed some of the biggest movies of all time and in fact he was one of the proponents of a lot of the religious movies such as “The Ten Commandments.”  So you would think there’s a reason this guy does “Samson and Delilah” and “The Ten Commandments.”  He must believe in what he does. 

Alan Stock:                Okay. 

Patrick Wanis:          But he was a married guy who had serial mistresses. 

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The following is a  transcript of Russ Morley, host of 850 WFTL radio interviewing Celebrity Life Coach and Human Behavior Expert, Patrick Wanis Ph.D. for insights and analysis about the Mel Gibson meltdown and the ways that the alleged recording between Mel Gibson and girlfriend Oksana Grigorieva is undermining the serious issue of domestic violence against women and children and how it relates to Battered Woman’s Syndrome.

While people are angry at Mel Gibson they are ignoring Charlie Sheen who has been charged with allegedly putting a knife to his wife’s throat. And according to Celebrity Life Coach and Human Behavior & Relationship Expert, Patrick Wanis PhD, “We give free-passes to people we like and we react harsher to racist remarks than we do to actual violence against women – although both are seriously wrong.

Listen to this interview at:

http://patrickwanis.com/Is_racism_more_important_than_violence_against_women.asp

Learn more about Battered Woman’s Syndrome here:

http://patrickwanis.com/blog/index.php/2010/07/19/battered-womans-syndrome/

Read the release “Is racism more important than violence against women?” here:
http://patrickwanis.com/blog/index.php/2010/07/22/is-racism-more-important-than-violence-against-women/

Read the article by Patrick Wanis PhD – Bias, prejudice and domestic violence here:

http://patrickwanis.com/blog/index.php/2010/07/21/bias-prejudice-domestic-violence/

Russ Morley:             Joining us this morning, Dr. Patrick Wanis, Celebrity Life Coach, Human Behavior Expert. Dr. Wanis, she’s saying he’s losing his mind. This isn’t the first instance of this. I mean are we talking insanity here this morning? Is Mel finally gone over the edge, do you think?

Patrick Wanis:          Well, he’s obviously gone over the edge. As to insanity, that’s a completely different diagnosis. I think there are a couple of key points to be made here, and the first thing I want to say is before I say anything else, anything that I say is not implying that she was not hit nor am I in any way condoning or defending the behavior, words, and actions of Mel Gibson because I don’t think there’s any defense for that.

Russ Morley:             Alright. A good disclaimer, alright.           

Patrick Wanis:          But I think we need to look at a lot of the things here, and I want to relate this to Battered Woman’s Syndrome. The way that this case has played out; because the tapes have been released, and because of the way that Oksana carries herself on the tape, she almost sounds like she’s standing on stage, talking to an audience – people have become cynical. And because of the claims relating to money – that she tried to extort money out of Mel Gibson with regard to these tapes; or the claims that she doctored or spliced the tapes has therefore raised doubts about the actual abuse or allegations of abuse. And I think that what that does then, is it downplays, undermines, and diminishes the real serious issue of domestic violence not only in the U.S., but around the world. And Russ, I want to make this point about someone else who is a celebrity, Charlie Sheen.

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The following is an edited copy of responses, analysis and insights by Celebrity Life Coach and Human Behavior Expert, Patrick Wanis Ph.D. to a reporter’s questions about Lindsay Lohan. And while many people were predicting that Lindsay Lohan would not show up to jail to serve her sentence, Patrick Wanis PhD accurately predicted on TV “I guarantee, 100% she will show up.” Patrick Wanis PhD also offers unique insight into why Sandra Bullock kisses Scarlet Johansson during the MTV Movie Awards.

Watch the TV interview Patrick Wanis PhD gave to WSFL The Morning Show about Lindsay Lohan:�

http://southflorida.sun-sentinel.com/videobeta/6ffd5862-3115-4f4a-9b97-f56b7cf6709c/News/Taboo-Tuesday-Interventions

Reporter:                    The probation report of Lindsay Lohan reveals that she’s approved to take a number of different medications; Lindsay  is a known addict, has had problems with addiction and yet she’s taking this combination of Zoloft and Adderall and Dilaudid. 

She’s got the Dilaudid for some oral surgery she had months ago but has been taking it as recently as just a few weeks ago. For somebody who’s already wearing a Scram Bracelet and who has clearly had issues in the past with substance abuse, is it wise to have her on all this medication?

Patrick Wanis:          Is it wise for her to be on all of these medications?  This has been the same situation repeated so many times of celebrities who are given multiple medications. Heath Ledger, I think Brittany Murphy was another one: people who have been given multiple medications and it becomes a deadly cocktail.  So, the first thing is no, I don’t agree with a mixture of medications, a cocktail of medications if you will, number one. 

                                    Number two, I’m not in a position to prescribe medication.  I always believe the answer is to seek the root cause of the problem rather treating the symptom.  And you’ll also notice that with a lot of rehab clinics, they take the patient off the medication immediately. 

Reporter:                    Yeah. 

Patrick Wanis:          So, usually and I know Dr. Drew does this: as soon as someone comes in to his clinic, the first thing he does is, he cuts them off all medication.  So, it does seem quite strange that if she’s had a problem with substance abuse the people on hand say ‘we’re still going to put you on medication’;  because the medication can lead to some sort of abuse or some sort of addiction, which is not uncommon. The other concern is that anytime you put someone on medication, there are numerous side effects. If you’re multiplying the medication, you’re multiplying the side effects. 

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The following is a copy of Nik Robinson, Features Producer for The Morning Show, WSFL TV interviewing Celebrity Life Coach and Human Behavior Expert, Patrick Wanis Ph.D. for insights and advice about interventions as part of the Taboo Tuesday series: “Interventions…. If you had a friend or family member who was out of control and nothing works…what would you do to help them? “

 The videos of Patrick Wanis’ appearances of four segments on the TV show will be posted shortly. Meanwhile, here is one of the videos: 

http://southflorida.sun-sentinel.com/videobeta/6ffd5862-3115-4f4a-9b97-f56b7cf6709c/News/Taboo-Tuesday-Interventions

Nik Robinson:          Why is it so hard for us to effectively point out to someone that they need help?

Patrick Wanis PhD: First challenge for us is our own fear of speaking up and approaching our friend; we fear rejection, disapproval, conflict, confrontation, loss of friendship.

Second challenge is our friends usually do not respect our opinion because 1. We are not professionals and 2. Our friend is in denial – they usually do not want help or interference – they are engaging in destructive behavior for a reason – to avoid pain (escape something) or to punish themselves for a perceived wrongdoing (death wish)

Third challenge we face in trying to effectively point out to our friend that he or she needs help is that we lack the training and experience to know how to approach them and; we often approach them with fear, anger, frustration, guilt, self-blame or our own stuff and judgments

Nik Robinson:          Is it right to tell a friend or loved one they need help even if they’re likely to push you away?

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The following is a transcript of Derryn Hinch, host of radio 3AW Melbourne, Australia, interviewing Human Behavior & Relationship Expert and Clinical Hypnotherapist, Patrick Wanis Ph.D. about Mel Gibson’s meltdown and the assertion by Patrick Wanis that we need to stop listening to Mel Gibson and we need to separate the art from the artist.

Listen to this interview at:
http://patrickwanis.com/Stop_listening_to_Mel_Gibson.asp

Derryn Hinch:           He’s an Australian Human Behavior and Relationship Expert and he’s a Clinical Hypnotherapist whose name is Patrick Wanis. He lives in the United States. And he has a different spin on the Mel Gibson meltdown and his foul behavior and what he has been doing in recent times. I just want you to listen to a few seconds of Mel Gibson about his latest rants and then I want to cross and talk to Patrick Wanis.

[audio played of unauthenticated recording between Mel Gibson and Oksana Gregorieva]

Derryn Hinch:           Phew, okay, that was Mel Gibson. On the line now Patrick Wanis. Good afternoon.

Patrick Wanis:          Good afternoon, Derryn. How are you?

Derryn Hinch:           I’m good. Well, thanks. Having heard that rant, your theory, as I understand it, you think we should be separating the artist from the person [art] – that his sort of personal life should have nothing to do with our appreciation of what he does on the screen. Is that right?

Patrick Wanis:          Yeah. The point I’m making here is that there is a huge difference between the art that one creates and the artist himself – that means his personal life. Today’s technology combined with human curiosity drives us to want to listen and learn every single sordid detail of that person’s life. But it doesn’t benefit us, Derryn.

Derryn Hinch:           Well, I –

Patrick Wanis:          What is the benefit that you and I have by knowing every detail of every dysfunction?

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The following is a  transcript of Russ Morley, host of 850 WFTL radio interviewing Celebrity Life Coach and Human Behavior Expert, Patrick Wanis Ph.D. for insights and analysis about the Mel Gibson meltdown – an unauthenticated recording between Mel Gibson and girlfriend Oksana Grigorieva believed to have been recorded 5 months prior and where Mel Gibson makes sexist and racist remarks and threatens violence and death. Patrick Wanis PhD analyses the Mel Gibson audio recording and highlights irregularities and unanswered questions about Mel Gibson and Oksana Grigorieva.

Please click here to read why, based on this audio recording, Oksana Grigorieva does not demonstrate behavior or psychological  symptoms of a battered woman: http://patrickwanis.com/blog/index.php/2010/07/19/battered-womans-syndrome/  

 Listen to this interview at:

http://patrickwanis.com/Mel_Gibson_meltdown.asp

Read more about this story at:

http://patrickwanis.com/RadioInterviews.asp#MelGibson

 [Music: Foreigner – “Cold as Ice”]

Russ Morley:             I’ll tell you what: If you’ve been listening to the radio or watching TV this week, you have no doubt heard the rantings of Oscar winner and one of Hollywood’s top leading men and directors Mel Gibson as he chastised his former girlfriend, mother of his nine-month-old child, Oksana Grigorieva, for wearing tight clothes and having a boob job. But now, there’s even more recordings that are even more shocking.

[audio played of unauthenticated recording between Mel Gibson and Oksana Gregorieva]

Oksana Grigorieva: Because I’m saving my life and I’m saving daughter’s life. That’s what I’m doing. I don’t give a damn about my music and I don’t give a damn about you spending another penny. I’m saving her life.

Mel Gibson:               [Indiscernible]

Oksana Grigorieva: You almost killed us! Did you forget?

Mel Gibson:               (mocks crying)

Oksana Grigorieva: You were hitting a woman with a child in her hands! You – what kind of man is that? Hitting a woman when she’s holding a child in her hands, breaking her teeth twice in the face! What kind of man is that?

Mel Gibson:               Oh, you’re all angry now.

Oksana Grigorieva: You’re going to get to – you know what? You’re going to answer one day. Boy, you’re going to answer.

Mel Gibson:               What, what? What are you …

Oksana Grigorieva: Nothing, nothing. I’m not the one to threaten.

Mel Gibson:               I’m threatening you. I’ll put you in a [Expletive] rose garden, you [Expletive]. You understand that? Because I’m capable of it. You understand that? Get a [Expletive] restraining order. For what? What are you going to get a restraining order for? For me being drunk and disorderly? For hitting you? For what?

Russ Morley:             What? Wow! Alcohol and sanity. What? Joining us this  morning, Dr. Patrick Wanis, Celebrity Life Coach, Human Behavior Expert based out of Miami. Dr. Wanis, man, I mean, this is unsettling at least.

Patrick Wanis:          Well, you know, it’s really hard; I don’t know where to start because there are so many elements to this story and to this incident. First, you need to say the obvious, that there is no justification whatsoever to make any sort of threats against, well, another human being, let alone a woman. That would be the first point. The second thing is: it’s obvious that Mel Gibson has had a drinking problem for a long, long time, going back many, many years. In fact, he started drinking when he became 13 years of age. He just moved to Australia from New York at age 12. Ever since then, he has had a drinking problem. I don’t know if he had a drinking problem in his teens but he has had a drinking problem most of his life.

During Lethal Weapon 2, the director said how shocked he was when he realized that Mel Gibson was drinking five pints of beer every morning – for breakfast.

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