In this week’s Success Newsletter, I would like to reveal the motivations and reasons women cheat.

 

First a quick update:

 

 

ü  The relationship poll – Read the interview I gave to the Daily Vanguard about the relationship poll it took with college students and with surprising findings when males and females identified trust, loyal and honesty as the most important thing they look for in a partner. http://www.dailyvanguard.com/the-vanguard-s-relationship-poll-1.2154807

 

 

ü  Does your marriage or relationship suffer from the putt putt syndrome? – I have been appointed the exclusive relationship expert for the new movie, “The Putt Putt Syndrome.” What is it? How do you prevent it? How do you get out of it? Read the transcript of the interview I gave to Joanie Winberg CEO of the National Association of Divorce for Women and Children and host of “Single Again! Now What?” Talk Radio Show. http://patrickwanis.com/blog/index.php/2010/02/15/is-your-relationship-suffering-from-the-putt-putt-syndrome/

 

 

 

Now, let’s talk about why women cheat.

 

When we mention the word cheating, we often immediately think of men - Tiger Woods, John Edwards, Elliot Spitzer, Governor Mark Sanford, ESPN’s Steve Phillips, Robert “Mutt” Lange, Bill Clinton, Newt Gingrich, Peter Cook and the list goes on. From politicians, athletes and musicians to corporate executives such as Oracle President Charles E. Philips, it seems as if men are cheating all the time and much more than women.

 

But what about women? Do women cheat?

 

The latest statistics reveal that women cheat on their husbands equally as much as men - one in five married women has had an affair according to the National Opinion Research Center.

 

Why do women cheat on their husbands and are their motivations different from men’s motivations?

 

Yes, women cheat for different reasons to men!

 

As I have outlined in various media interviews and articles, men cheat first and foremost because of power, opportunity, narcissism and a lack of self-discipline (i.e. they can’t say no and thus they give into temptation.) Listen to the various radio interviews I have given about men, cheating and power at http://patrickwanis.com/RadioInterviews.asp

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In this week’s Success Newsletter, I would like to reveal secrets about the four key personality types and their compatibility.

 

First a quick update:

 

 

 

ü  Does your marriage or relationship suffer from the putt putt syndrome? – I have been appointed the exclusive relationship expert for the new movie, “The Putt Putt Syndrome.” What is it? How do you prevent it? How do you get out of it? Listen to the interview I gave to Joanie Winberg CEO of the National Association of Divorce for Women and Children and host of “Single Again! Now What?” Talk Radio Show. I discuss the syndrome and how to get out of it. http://patrickwanis.com/RadioInterviews.asp#PuttSyndrome

 

 

ü  Divorced? Widowed? A Single Mom? - If you are Stuck in the muck and not sure how to move your life forward, take advantage and find love and happiness again with a new mentoring program for women! Click here: http://tinyurl.com/yd6hzuk

 

 

Now, let’s talk about personalities and compatibility.

 

When it comes to attraction, there are many factors that determine the magnetism and subsequent compatibility of two people in a relationship. Of course, the type of relationship (business, social or romantic) will determine the factors behind attraction and compatibility.

 

Some of the factors involved in attraction include:

 

Physical

Mental

Emotional

Spiritual

Biological

Cultural

 

 

Biological attraction refers to one of the few aspects of our brain that is truly hardwired. For example, we have a type of DNA of our immune system known as Major Histocompatibility Complex (MHC.) Research shows that the more opposite the immune system, the more we will unconsciously be attracted to the other person because two people with opposite immune genes will produce healthy offspring with an even stronger resulting immune system. Incidentally, although it is not fully clear, research suggests that we recognize each other’s immune genes via smell; we literally sniff out each other – although it is an unconscious action.

 

In that sense, the expression, “Opposites attract” is actually quite accurate. But that wonderful catchphrase can also be quite misleading. As I explained in a Success Newsletter, from October 22, 2008, “What do you value?” http://patrickwanis.com/blog/index.php/2008/10/22/what-do-you-value/ it is critical to the success and longevity of a relationship that a couple’s core values are the same; that they match. Clashing values lead to the breakdown of relationships, friendships and businesses. Identical or complimentary values lead to flourishing relationships in all areas of life.

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In this week’s Success Newsletter, I would like to discuss the controversial topic of when men refuse to be “a real man.”

 

First a quick update:

 

 

ü  Tiger Wood’s wife takes him back: John Edwards, Governor Elliot Spitzer and now Tiger Woods. Why do wives take back their cheating husbands? Read the transcript of the radio interview I gave to Russ Morley, host of 850 WFTL.
http://patrickwanis.com/blog/index.php/2010/01/26/tiger-woods-wife-takes-him-back/

 

 

ü  Fear, anxiety & grief relief – George Clooney and Wyclef Jean organized and led the Hope for Haiti Telethon which raised 58 million dollars. At Wyclef’s request, I’ve just created a special audio program to help the volunteers, workers, friends and families of people in Haiti. These simple exercises will neutralize the fear, anxiety, stress and trauma brought on by extreme challenges and stress. Of course, anyone can use these powerful techniques to erase their own bad memories and begin to feel better immediately. They are my gift to you and anyone who needs them: http://patrickwanis.com/Haiti/

 

 

Now, let’s talk about when men refuse to be “a real man.”

 

This week, a client was telling me how her boyfriend expects her to carry her own weight:  he doesn’t offer to carry her bags, and lives by the Chinese proverb “Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish and you feed him for a lifetime.”

 

I wondered why this man felt it necessary to teach rather than to help or assist her. It also begs the question: does this man expect her to carry her own emotional baggage? Can he be strong for her? Is he dependable, reliable and responsible? Is he a real man?

 

Of course, it is possible to write reams about what it is that defines a real man. And yes there are certain masculine qualities such as assertiveness, confidence, energy, incisiveness, determination, strength of mind and body, stamina, nobility, self sacrifice and leadership. We can add to that devotion to family, caring, acceptance, commitment, honesty, reliability, respect and love for women, children & all living things, responsibility, and the ability to admit that he’s not perfect, and thus always remaining willing to work at being a better person.

 

My client’s situation raised parallels with the actions of three other famous men – Tiger Woods, Michael Richards and Mel Gibson.

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In this week’s Success Newsletter, I would like to discuss the power and significance of developing immunity to criticism.

 

 

First a quick update:

 

 

 

ü  FOX News – top 10 celebrity meltdowns of 2009 – Watch the interview I gave to Fox News about  the results of what I call the Fame Factor - acts of ego & stupidity and denial, delusions of grandeur & power and entitlement http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-dbqX92orNQ

 

 

Now, let’s talk about how to develop immunity to criticism.

 

Being criticized can be a horrible or even traumatic experience. And constant criticism is a sure fast way of killing the intimacy and love within a relationship, often shattering the recipient’s self-esteem and self-confidence. Criticism and blame lead to contempt, and contempt destroys the relationship.

 

Criticism is a serious problem for all relationships – familial, romantic and work-based. The fear of criticism causes many people to either freeze-up and do nothing, or to structure their behavior and personality to please and appease the other person. When a person is afraid of being criticized, he or she will take no action, take no risks and will not perform at his or her best. When coaching and training corporations and executives, I teach that a company and business cannot grow unless the employees feel safe to express themselves and to take risks. Of course, most people in the corporate world operate with one thought in mind; “How can I not lose my job?”

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In this week’s Success Newsletter, I would like to reveal the six simple steps to end bad habits and cultivate new empowering habits.

 

 

First a quick update:

 

 

 

ü  Emotional Vampires – the interview – Read the detailed interview I gave to the German psychology magazine PM offering more insights into the origins of and how to handle and deal with emotional vampires.
http://patrickwanis.com/blog/index.php/2010/01/06/emotional-vampires-the-interview/

 

 

Now, let’s talk about ways to break bad habits.

 

At the beginning of each and every year, many people follow the custom to make New Year’s resolutions. And most of those resolutions involve ending or breaking bad habits.

 

The dictionary defines a habit as “an acquired behavior pattern regularly followed until it has become almost involuntary.” Few of us realize that most of our life and its behaviors are run involuntarily. In other words, for most of us, we run on autopilot and most of our behaviors are performed unconsciously. The way you hold a spoon, the way you tie your shoe laces and the way sit are all done at an unconscious level. Try holding the spoon differently or tying your shoe laces in a new way. How does that feel? Probably quite uncomfortable or simply weird or strange. And automatically, you will want to go back to doing it the old way. But that old way was once a new way, and your parents kept pushing you to do it a certain way, until one day you no longer thought about it and it became a program; it became a habit.

 

And so it is with all of our habits. We learn them and then we resist changing them because it feels uncomfortable to change.

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In this week’s Success Newsletter, I would like to reveal ways to overcome loneliness – now and at any time of the year.

 

 

First a quick update:

 

 

 

ü  Dating and making a lasting first impression: Read the transcript the interview I gave to Jennifer Vogel “Relationships for twentysomethings” reporter for Examiner.com revealing techniques, tips and strategies to help you make lasting first impressions when dating. Read more here: http://patrickwanis.com/blog/index.php/2009/12/29/making-a-lasting-first-impression/

 

ü  Emotional Vampires – Next week, I will be releasing a detailed interview I just gave to the German psychology magazine PM offering more insights into handling and dealing with emotional vampires. Meanwhile you can read about emotional vampires:  http://patrickwanis.com/blog/index.php/2009/06/10/dealing-with-emotional-vampires/ and
http://patrickwanis.com/blog/index.php/2009/06/17/freeing-the-emotional-vampire-in-you/

 

 

Now, let’s talk about ways to overcome loneliness.

 

For many people, the toughest, most challenging and most stressful time of the year is The Holiday Season and its various celebrations & rituals such as Christmastime, the New Year and the parties. Expectations are created for giving gifts, throwing parties, welcoming family members, dealing with relatives & others whom you cannot stand, and braving a happy face while facing the expectations that others have of you: your career, personal and romantic life, the way you interact with others and the person you have become!

 

The result can be like a Molotov cocktail – tension, arguments, fall-outs, emotional outbursts, sadness, grief and depression.

 

One of the most common appeals to me from clients and others is for help dealing with loneliness, particularly around the Holidays.

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In this week’s Success Newsletter, I would like to discuss the lessons from Tiger Woods.

 

 

First a quick update:

 

 

• Only a few remaining: I shared with you that the real breakthrough in our lives comes from emotional freedom and I created a complete turnkey solution that allows anyone to create a complete “life makeover.” If you are ready to “unlearn” all of the negative programming and change the way you feel, then this is for you. I am offering this to only 100 of my subscribers and now there are only a handful left, so hurry  www.patrickwanis.com/emotionalfreedom

 

 

• For men only: Here is the perfect gift for the man in your life who wants more success with women – even if that woman is you. My audio training CD/MP3 program “The New Science of Persuasion” where you will learn the key to all persuasion; Key secrets to understanding women; the First secret that every guy needs to know about women; The primary goal that will help you to win a woman and; much more. If you are a woman, then get this program for your man; it will help your relationship when he knows how to understand you and treat you. Click here: http://patrickwanis.com/ScienceOfPersuasion.asp

 

 

• How to Survive the office party -and get ahead: Listen to the 20-minute interview I gave to Jim Peake of MySuccessGateway.com where I reveal  techniques and strategies about how to succeed at the Holiday parties and events – http://patrickwanis.com/communicationskills/Packages.asp

 

 

Now, let’s talk about lessons we can learn from Tiger Woods.

 

Eldrick Tont “Tiger” Woods is one of the most successful golfers of all time. He is the World No. 1, the highest-paid professional athlete in 2008; he earned $110 million from winnings and endorsements.

 

Woods has won 14 professional major golf championships. He has more career major wins and career PGA Tour wins than any other active golfer. He is the youngest player to achieve the career Grand Slam, and the youngest and fastest to win 50 tournaments on tour. Woods has won 16 World Golf Championships and has won at least one event each of the 11 years they have been in existence.

 

Woods has made an estimated $1 billion in endorsements in his 13-year career, the most of any athlete ever. Sports Illustrated estimates he’s now bringing in $100 million a year pitching various products.

 

But just a few weeks ago, all of that began to change as the world heard story after story of alleged affairs, trysts and secret sordid liaisons involving Woods and around 11 different women.

 

On Sunday, the golfer lost his first endorsement deal with gllobal consulting firm Accenture, Ltd who said it felt Woods was “no longer the right representative” following the “circumstances of the last two weeks.” Further, Gillette stopped airing all advertisements featuring Woods, and AT&T has announced that it is re-evaluating its relationship with Woods.

 

And last Friday, Woods announced his indefinite leave from golf to focus on being on a better husband and father. Yes, Woods admitted to some transgressions.

 

So what can be learned and gleaned from this story? Is it just a case of a married man who has a compulsive problem and who subsequently betrayed his wife many times?

 

No, there is much more to this story.

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In this week’s Success Newsletter, I would like to discuss and reveal how to overcome the greatest challenge we all face around The Holidays, and possible the greatest challenge in life – accepting the unacceptable.

 

 

First a quick update:

 

 

• Emotional freedom guarantees success: Many people have been asking for help, saying that they long to break away from the daily grind and start living a life full of abundance. The real breakthrough comes from emotional freedom and I have just finished creating a complete turnkey solution that allows anyone to create a complete “life makeover.” If you are ready to “unlearn” all of the negative programming and change the way you feel, then this is for you. I offered this to only 100 of my subscribers a few months ago but I am doing it again because it is The Holidays, so hurry and click here: www.patrickwanis.com/emotionalfreedom

 

 

• The Top Nine Tips to Help You Enjoy The Holidays: Listen to the 45-minute interview I give to Jim Peake of MySuccessGateway.com about how to avoid arguments, fights and enjoy the Holidays; click here: http://patrickwanis.com/holidaytips/Packages.asp

 

 

Now, let’s talk about accepting the unacceptable.

 

In last week’s Success Newsletter, I mentioned that one of the primary reasons that The Holidays have become so stressful is because we’ve placed so many expectations around The Holidays; expectations about ourselves, others and the special day or events.

 

In an article I wrote and published by Date.com, I explain:

 

The Holidays automatically trigger every single insecurity that we have as well as our fears, anger, frustration, resentment, bitterness, guilt, shame and any other negative emotion that we hide deep inside. The reason this occurs is because we become emotionally vulnerable when we spend time with the people closest to us – our family and when we combine that with our expectations of them and of ourselves it’s easy for the eruption to occur. In other words, all of our hurts, fears and failures are triggered by our family members. While our initial reaction is to blame them, please understand that all they succeed in doing is triggering what is already inside of us. That means we can’t blame other people for the way we chose to respond to them and their behavior.

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