In this week’s Success Newsletter, I would like to invite you to take a quiz that will reveal your level of emotional intelligence (your emotional smarts) and; I offer you some strategies to become more emotionally intelligent.

First a quick update:

****  “The three most dangerous mistakes coaches and therapists make” – Listen to the interview I gave to The Coaching Show with hosts Christopher McAuliffe, MCC and Tara Padua Wise CPC about the three major mistakes made by coaches, therapists, counselors, psychologists and psychiatrists. I also reveal and explain how these mistakes can seriously harm and damage clients as well as the coach’s business. Click here: http://patrickwanis.com/3_Dangerous_Mistakes.asp

****  “Jesse James still doesn’t get it” – Jesse James says he is now deeply sorry, that he wanted to get caught and he threw away a good thing – his marriage to Sandra Bullock but Jesse James also didn’t believe that he deserved such a good thing and had no control over his compulsive desires http://patrickwanis.com/blog/index.php/2010/05/25/jesse-james-still-doesnt-get-it/

Now, let’s talk about your level of emotional intelligence and ways to raise it; how emotionally smart are you?

In last week’s Success Newsletter, I discussed emotional intelligence and its significance & relevance to your success and enjoyment of life http://patrickwanis.com/blog/index.php/2010/05/19/emotional-intelligence/ Emotional intelligence is best summed up as your ability to be aware of what you feel and to master your ability to control what you feel so that you can get along with other people. Another key component of emotional intelligence is your ability to express your emotions, perceive and evaluate the emotions of others, and to express empathy and compassion for others.

Here is a simple quiz I have created that will help you to determine how emotionally intelligent you are. Simply respond with a “Yes” or “No” to each of the questions below.

Emotional Intelligence Quiz (Emotional IQ Test)

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In this week’s Success Newsletter, I would like to reveal the signs and secret to spotting a liar; how to know if he or she is lying to you.

First a quick update:

ü  How to connect with anyone – Watch the two-part TV interview I gave to The Morning Show WSFL about the ways we communicate and the techniques and strategies to build instant rapport and connect with anyone. http://patrickwanis.com/Videos.asp

ü  Valentine’s Day and personality test – Wondering if your Valentine is the right one? Take the personality test and find out if you are perfectly matched, truly mismatched and which is the most suitable personality type for you: http://patrickwanis.com/WhoAreYouPersonalityTest.asp

Now, let’s talk about how to tell when someone is lying.

Diogenes was a social critic and philosopher who lived in ancient Greece and chose to give up possessions and instead to live in poverty. Diogenes was a cynic; possibly the father of cynicism. Diogenes was famous for lighting a lantern in broad daylight and walking through the streets of Athens waving his lantern and exclaiming that he was looking for an “honest man”.

Diogenes’ cynicism and his search for an “honest man” would be just as appropriate today, if not more, than it was centuries ago. Former Senator John Edwards is one such example. Senator Edwards lied about having an affair and then he lied a second time when he said he was not the father of the unborn child of his mistress Reille Hunter.

But was it obvious that John Edward’s denials were lies? What were the signs that screamed that he was lying? I will answer that in a moment. But first, here are some interesting statistics about lying:

ü  42% of adults think it’s OK to lie sometimes

ü  Only 54% of lies are accurately detected

ü  37% of adults think it’s OK to lie about your age

ü  2/3 of adults think it is OK to lie sometime to avoid hurting someone’s feelings

ü  98% of teenagers lie to their parents

ü  40% of parents think it’s OK to lie to their children about the trouble they got into when they were younger

ü  In a conversation, the average person lies 3 times every ten minutes

ü  44% of adults will exaggerate when they tell a story to sound cooler (i.e. be accepted)

ü  University students lie to their mothers 50% of the time

ü  We lie in one-third of our conversations with our romantic partners

ü  We tell the most serious lies to the people we care about the most

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In this week’s Success Newsletter, I would like to talk about ways to deal with the grief and tragedy of Haiti, as well as grief and loss in general.

First a quick update:

ü  Valentine’s Day and personality test – Wondering if your Valentine is the right one? Take the personality test and find out if you are perfectly matched, truly mismatched and which is the most suitable personality type for you: http://patrickwanis.com/WhoAreYouPersonalityTest.asp

ü  Helping the helpers – As my way of helping with the Haiti devastation, I have created two special audio programs to help in dealing with fear, anxiety, stress and trauma. By special request, I have designed these audio programs particularly for volunteers, workers, friends and family of people in Haiti who are also experiencing extreme challenges and stress. Of course, anyone can use them to neutralize fear, anxiety and bad memories. I am giving them away. Please help by also spreading the word and forwarding this link. www.patrickwanis.com/Haiti

Now, let’s talk about the tragedy of Haiti and ways to deal with it as well as grief and loss in general.

It is truly hard to imagine the real pain and suffering that the people of Haiti are experiencing right now, particularly in light of the second 6.1 magnitude aftershock this morning. And it is a challenge to escape the traumatic images that fill the radio, Television and internet.

It is also a common reaction that we begin almost immediately asking “Why did a tragedy and disaster of such a magnitude occur? Why did it happen?”

The US Televangelist Pat Robertson shocked and offended many people when he claimed that the earthquake was the result of Haitians forming a pact with the devil to liberate Haiti from France 200 years ago.

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The following is a transcript of Russ Morley, host of 850 WFTL radio interviewing Celebrity Life Coach and Human Behavior Expert, Patrick Wanis Ph.D. about Jason Rodriguez,  the man who entered into a building in Orlando, Florida, the office of his former employer, and shot dead one person..”

Good Morning on the WFTL Morning News. Now here’s your host, Russ Morley.

Russ:                          We’re talking about Jason Rodriguez who opened fire in that Orlando office building on Friday killing one, wounding five others. That was Buddy Dyer, the Mayor of Orlando and after that Val Demings, she’s Orlando’s Police Chief commenting on the situation, but it makes you stop and wonder: could this happen at your office building on Broward Boulevard or Westin or Coral Springs? What would it take to have somebody snap like that and on the heels of the shooting at Fort Hood which, I think are pretty much unrelated, but could that have been the thing that triggered Jason Rodriguez to start pulling the trigger?  Joining us this morning is a guy I think we ought to hang up a shingle for at the radio station; we’ve been talking to him so frequently about things like this, Dr. Patrick Wanis, celebrity life coach and human behavior expert out of Miami.  Good morning Doc.

Dr. Patrick Wanis     Good morning Russ. 

Russ:                          What do you think? There was some talk about this on Friday that maybe the Fort Hood shooting, you know, kind of set the bar for this Jason Rodriguez in Orlando. Is that a possibility?  Could that have set him off a little?

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His name appears on radical Internet postings. A fellow officer says he fought his deployment to Iraq and argued with soldiers who supported U.S. wars. He required counseling as a medical student because of problems with patients. And it’s claimed that he was criticized for his religious beliefs – for being a Muslim.

There are many unknowns about Nidal Malik Hasan, the army psychiatrist authorities say is responsible for the worst mass killing on a U.S. military base – at Fort Hood. Most of all, his motive.

Why did Maj. Hasan go on a shooting rampage, killing fellow soldiers? Why did he kill 12 soldiers and one civilian?

The Associated Press reported:

As if going off to war, Maj. Nidal Malik Hasan cleaned out his apartment, gave leftover frozen broccoli to one neighbor and called another to thank him for his friendship — common courtesies and routines of the departing soldier. Instead, authorities say, he went on the killing spree that left 13 people dead at Fort Hood, Texas.

The 39-year-old Army psychiatrist emerged as a study in contradictions: a polite man who stewed with discontent, a counselor who needed to be counseled himself, a professional healer now suspected of cutting down the fellow soldiers he was sworn to help.

Human Behavior Expert, Patrick Wanis, Ph.D. says the motives behind the killing of 13 people by the army pyschiatrist may be clearer and more obvious than most people realize. Patrick Wanis says Maj. Nidal Malik Hasan fits the profile of a mass murderer.

Patrick Wanis reveals there are various possible contributing factors that lead to a person becoming a mass killer and says that Army Psychiatrist Hasan fits the profile of a mass murderer.

Click on the link below to download and listen to the interview Patrick Wanis Ph.D. gave to 850 WFTL’s Russ Morley or read the transcription further below. Click here for the radio interview Pyschiatrist kills 13 soldiers 

Transcription of the radio interview:

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Below is Part Three of the transcript of a lengthy interview and discussion between Dr. Peter Breggin, author of “Medication Madness – a psychiatrist exposes the dangers of mood-altering medications” and Patrick Wanis Ph.D.

Click here to read Part One of the interview

Click here to read Part Two

Click here to listen to the complete interview

Patrick:           Well – and I know that you’re happily married and you have a lot of satisfaction and fulfillment within your relationship which makes you a great role model for a lot of people. But I’m curious about some of the cases, because, right at the beginning, I even used the terms lobotomy and psychosurgery. And I thought to myself, you know, we’ve bandied around the word lobotomy for many years. But was there a time in medicine when they actually removed parts of the brain or here in America did surgery do so in the hope of changing the way you think and feel?

Peter:              Well, it’s – first of all, it still goes on. I’ll give you a brief history and in 1936, a Portuguese surgeon started cutting up – actually he poisoned – he put holes in the brains of mental patients in the state’s mental hospital and poured poison in. (more…)

Excerpt from an interview: Winnie Yu http://winnieyu.net and Patrick Wanis PhD, author of “Secrets to Losing Weight, Being Thin and Loving Your Body”:

Winnie: What are common stereotypes of fat people and thin people?

Patrick Wanis PhD:

Generally, when we think of fat people we think of them as inferior on many levels: physically, mentally and even emotionally (as it pertains to relationships.)

Almost 78 years ago, Coca Cola made famous the fat jolly, rosy red cheek Santa Claus and only until recently have we associated fat with happy and jolly and often more so with men than women. Today’s fat people, particularly women are viewed as angry, bitter, outspoken, opinionated, and even dumb. Rosie O Donnell is criticized and viewed as angry and bitter while Drew Carey and John Goodman are viewed as lovable comedians. Even the character Mimi in the Drew Carey TV show was portrayed as almost a caricature – opinionated, with extreme makeup and unstable self-esteem. Mimi was more of a circus act than a three-dimensional being. Either way, we tend to view fat people as a form of entertainment on television i.e. Drew Carey, John Goodman, John Candy, Chris Farley, John Belushi, Louie Anderson, Lavell Crawford and so forth. Again, men generally get a pass for being fat – if they are funny! And most of them made fun of themselves for being overweight.

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The Life Events Inventory as a predictor for injury and illness
– The Holmes and Rahe Stress Scale – take the test below

It may seem almost blatantly obvious that major life changes contribute to stress but it may not be as obvious that multiple major life changes within one year correlate with a higher risk of injury or illness.

We too often take it for granted that life changes alter a person’s social roles and relationships, such as mar­riage, divorce, job change, serious illness, or the death of a loved one, and thus, they increase a person’s suscepti­bility to stress, and in turn contribute if not directly cause a host of physical, mental and emotional ailments and illnesses. The ripples of stress will often last for a year or even longer.

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Full text of L.A. Fitness shooter George Sodini’s blog link / online diary from his website is further below. George Sodini’s blog link was removed, and it’s unknown, but the text on his website was published and is below.

George Sodini briefly considered calling off his murderous rampage at a Pennsylvania health club, which left three women dead and nine injured. (Listen to the radio interview by Patrick Wanis PhD explaining the causes and pyschological profile of gym killer George Sodini – click here.)

George Sodini’s home movies and online diary reveal his darkest emotions. In a written but unpublished post to his blog, the 48-year-old gunman wrote that if a particular woman he admired from afar would be his girlfriend, he would “cancel this plan or put [it] on hold, at least for a while,” ABC News has learned through an analysis of his blog’s hidden source code.

For the causes, psychological factors and motivations behind the mass killing of women at an aerobic’s class by George Sodini and for a profile of mass murderers and killers, click here.

WARNING: The following contains EXPLICIT content. It is the text of a blog apparently kept by George Sodini, the man suspected of opening fire in a Pittsburgh-area gym, killing three and injuring nine others before apparently turning a gun on himself. The text is in full, except for some expletives which have been removed. The blog page had no pictures, other than a link to an apparent self-portrait of Sodini. Lines in boldface are as they appeared in the blog.

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