In this week’s Success Newsletter, I would like to talk about angry, nagging men.

First a quick update:

ü  Why we are obsessed with celebrities – Read the transcript of the interview I gave to Diego Rubio from the Colombian magazine Semana, about the reasons people are obsessed with celebrities, how celebrities are created and branded, why we worship celebrities but also enjoy tearing them down, and; the way that the media affects our thinking & beliefs and leads us to conform.

http://patrickwanis.com/blog/index.php/2010/03/02/why-we-are-obsessed-with-celebrities/

Now, let’s talk about angry and nagging men.

There was a very old TV commercial in Australia about a man who answers a knock at the door. The man is obviously frustrated by the disturbance as he proceeds to angrily inform the stranger at the door that he is bothering him, “the kids are screaming, my wife is nagging and I got a lousy sore throat.” The stranger immediately calms the man down as he offers him relief for his sore throat with a lozenge. The man responds with a smile and appears relieved.

Although we all understand that a lozenge is not the answer to our family frustration, the commercial stood out to me because it portrayed the stereotype of the nagging wife. And of course, we often hear the same comment about nagging wives in the form of jokes. However, men – husbands – can also be naggers.

Recently, I was speaking with a friend who is now divorced and she related to me how much happier she is now that she no longer has to hear at home what she referred to as “the male nagging voice.” Of course, that sparked my interest and shock as she went onto explain that her husband would come home from work and often be nagging and complaining about something; often nagging and complaining about everything that she was doing; he would constantly ask her “why?” He would question everything that his wife did and she never felt that she could do anything right in his eyes.

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In this week’s Success Newsletter, I would like to reveal the signs and secret to spotting a liar; how to know if he or she is lying to you.

First a quick update:

ü  How to connect with anyone – Watch the two-part TV interview I gave to The Morning Show WSFL about the ways we communicate and the techniques and strategies to build instant rapport and connect with anyone. http://patrickwanis.com/Videos.asp

ü  Valentine’s Day and personality test – Wondering if your Valentine is the right one? Take the personality test and find out if you are perfectly matched, truly mismatched and which is the most suitable personality type for you: http://patrickwanis.com/WhoAreYouPersonalityTest.asp

Now, let’s talk about how to tell when someone is lying.

Diogenes was a social critic and philosopher who lived in ancient Greece and chose to give up possessions and instead to live in poverty. Diogenes was a cynic; possibly the father of cynicism. Diogenes was famous for lighting a lantern in broad daylight and walking through the streets of Athens waving his lantern and exclaiming that he was looking for an “honest man”.

Diogenes’ cynicism and his search for an “honest man” would be just as appropriate today, if not more, than it was centuries ago. Former Senator John Edwards is one such example. Senator Edwards lied about having an affair and then he lied a second time when he said he was not the father of the unborn child of his mistress Reille Hunter.

But was it obvious that John Edward’s denials were lies? What were the signs that screamed that he was lying? I will answer that in a moment. But first, here are some interesting statistics about lying:

ü  42% of adults think it’s OK to lie sometimes

ü  Only 54% of lies are accurately detected

ü  37% of adults think it’s OK to lie about your age

ü  2/3 of adults think it is OK to lie sometime to avoid hurting someone’s feelings

ü  98% of teenagers lie to their parents

ü  40% of parents think it’s OK to lie to their children about the trouble they got into when they were younger

ü  In a conversation, the average person lies 3 times every ten minutes

ü  44% of adults will exaggerate when they tell a story to sound cooler (i.e. be accepted)

ü  University students lie to their mothers 50% of the time

ü  We lie in one-third of our conversations with our romantic partners

ü  We tell the most serious lies to the people we care about the most

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In this week’s Success Newsletter, I would like to talk about ways to deal with the grief and tragedy of Haiti, as well as grief and loss in general.

First a quick update:

ü  Valentine’s Day and personality test – Wondering if your Valentine is the right one? Take the personality test and find out if you are perfectly matched, truly mismatched and which is the most suitable personality type for you: http://patrickwanis.com/WhoAreYouPersonalityTest.asp

ü  Helping the helpers – As my way of helping with the Haiti devastation, I have created two special audio programs to help in dealing with fear, anxiety, stress and trauma. By special request, I have designed these audio programs particularly for volunteers, workers, friends and family of people in Haiti who are also experiencing extreme challenges and stress. Of course, anyone can use them to neutralize fear, anxiety and bad memories. I am giving them away. Please help by also spreading the word and forwarding this link. www.patrickwanis.com/Haiti

Now, let’s talk about the tragedy of Haiti and ways to deal with it as well as grief and loss in general.

It is truly hard to imagine the real pain and suffering that the people of Haiti are experiencing right now, particularly in light of the second 6.1 magnitude aftershock this morning. And it is a challenge to escape the traumatic images that fill the radio, Television and internet.

It is also a common reaction that we begin almost immediately asking “Why did a tragedy and disaster of such a magnitude occur? Why did it happen?”

The US Televangelist Pat Robertson shocked and offended many people when he claimed that the earthquake was the result of Haitians forming a pact with the devil to liberate Haiti from France 200 years ago.

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In this week’s Success Newsletter, I would like to discuss the power of giving it away.

First a quick update:

• Last chance: There’s only five left - If you are ready to “unlearn” all of the negative programming and change the way you feel, then this is for you. I am offering this to only 100 of my subscribers and now there are only five left, so hurry  www.patrickwanis.com/emotionalfreedom

• Top Ten Celebrity Meltdowns 2009: It’s my third annual list which comes with insights and lessons that we can garner from each of the events. For example, did you know that Chris Brown who assaulted his girlfriend Rihanna, had an abusive stepfather who used to beat his mother? And did you know Chris had expressed resentment towards his stepfather, saying “I hate him to this day”, and even threatened to kill him with a baseball bat one day? And yet Chris Brown ended up copying his father’s behavior, something characteristic of patterns of domestic violence. Read more: http://patrickwanis.com/blog/index.php/2009/12/21/the-top-10-celebrity-meltdowns-of-2009/

Now, let’s talk about The Holidays and giving it away.

This is the season when we are encouraged to give gifts; when we are bombarded with all sorts of suggestions and advertising such as “the gift for the man/woman who has everything” etc.

Of course, no one really has “everything” but more to the point, what is it that you want?

What is that one special gift that would be so extraordinary that it would make a real difference in your life?

You might mention something tangible and specific; maybe you have already made your list and it might be the latest model of some product or maybe it’s a job, a promotion, health, love or a special vacation.

I believe that the most special gift one can receive is that gift that no currency can buy but gives you inner peace or lightens your load and relieves you of pain, frustration and self-doubt; the gift that results in healing.

For each person, that gift is different: maybe making up with an old friend, hearing something specific from someone that matters in your life, getting over a loss or a breakup, etc.

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The following is a transcript of Russ Morley, host of 850 WFTL radio interviewing Celebrity Life Coach and Human Behavior Expert, Patrick Wanis Ph.D. about Tiger Woods,  who has admitted to transgressions that are now reported to be multiple affairs; betrayal on a giant level with possibly 11 mistresses.

Good Morning on the WFTL Morning News. Now here’s your host, Russ Morley.

Male Speaker:          Hey, this is Tiger. My wife went through my phone.

Male Speaker:          What is the story? How does Tiger tell it?

Female Speaker:      What do we know about this accident?

Male Speaker:          What kind of charges could he face?

Male Speaker:          And there are a lot of intriguing questions.

Male Speaker:          Was he driving under the influence?

Male Speaker:          I’m human and not perfect. What does that mean?

[Music]

Russ Morley:             Okay, one mistress, maybe two. Okay, three would give in but 11. And most of them considered to be a little – how can I put this politically correct? I don’t know. Maybe unsavory? A couple of porn stars in there. You have to ask your self if there’s more than libido or what Austin Powers calls mojo at work here this morning. Tiger Woods list of paramour is now up to 11 with a second porn star New York Post reports that Veronica Siwik-Daniels also known as Joslyn James was linked to Tiger Woods. What the heck is going on here?

Let’s talk to somebody who knows about this sort of thing. He is a celebrity life coach, human behavior expert and a Miami psychologist. To Dr. Patrick Wanis, coming us to live this morning from Australia, good morning, Dr. Wanis.

Patrick Wanis:          Yes, good morning, Russ. How are you?

Russ Morley:             Good. Are you on vacation or you working down under?

Patrick Wanis:          Well, right now for you, I’m working but yes I am holidaying.

Russ Morley:             Well, very good. Well, thanks for taking some time out of your schedule for us. Now, you followed the story. Is it making as many headlines in Australia as it is here in the U.S?

Patrick Wanis:          It is big news everywhere. Obviously, it’s also big in Australia because of the link with the woman that was supposed to be in the Melbourne casino here in Australia. So, yes, it’s just as big here as it is in the U.S.

Russ Morley:             Alright then. Did you see a sex addict profile here? What is a sex addict profile?

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The following is a transcript of Russ Morley, host of 850 WFTL radio interviewing Celebrity Life Coach and Human Behavior Expert, Patrick Wanis Ph.D. about Jason Rodriguez,  the man who entered into a building in Orlando, Florida, the office of his former employer, and shot dead one person..”

Good Morning on the WFTL Morning News. Now here’s your host, Russ Morley.

Russ:                          We’re talking about Jason Rodriguez who opened fire in that Orlando office building on Friday killing one, wounding five others. That was Buddy Dyer, the Mayor of Orlando and after that Val Demings, she’s Orlando’s Police Chief commenting on the situation, but it makes you stop and wonder: could this happen at your office building on Broward Boulevard or Westin or Coral Springs? What would it take to have somebody snap like that and on the heels of the shooting at Fort Hood which, I think are pretty much unrelated, but could that have been the thing that triggered Jason Rodriguez to start pulling the trigger?  Joining us this morning is a guy I think we ought to hang up a shingle for at the radio station; we’ve been talking to him so frequently about things like this, Dr. Patrick Wanis, celebrity life coach and human behavior expert out of Miami.  Good morning Doc.

Dr. Patrick Wanis     Good morning Russ. 

Russ:                          What do you think? There was some talk about this on Friday that maybe the Fort Hood shooting, you know, kind of set the bar for this Jason Rodriguez in Orlando. Is that a possibility?  Could that have set him off a little?

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His name appears on radical Internet postings. A fellow officer says he fought his deployment to Iraq and argued with soldiers who supported U.S. wars. He required counseling as a medical student because of problems with patients. And it’s claimed that he was criticized for his religious beliefs – for being a Muslim.

There are many unknowns about Nidal Malik Hasan, the army psychiatrist authorities say is responsible for the worst mass killing on a U.S. military base – at Fort Hood. Most of all, his motive.

Why did Maj. Hasan go on a shooting rampage, killing fellow soldiers? Why did he kill 12 soldiers and one civilian?

The Associated Press reported:

As if going off to war, Maj. Nidal Malik Hasan cleaned out his apartment, gave leftover frozen broccoli to one neighbor and called another to thank him for his friendship — common courtesies and routines of the departing soldier. Instead, authorities say, he went on the killing spree that left 13 people dead at Fort Hood, Texas.

The 39-year-old Army psychiatrist emerged as a study in contradictions: a polite man who stewed with discontent, a counselor who needed to be counseled himself, a professional healer now suspected of cutting down the fellow soldiers he was sworn to help.

Human Behavior Expert, Patrick Wanis, Ph.D. says the motives behind the killing of 13 people by the army pyschiatrist may be clearer and more obvious than most people realize. Patrick Wanis says Maj. Nidal Malik Hasan fits the profile of a mass murderer.

Patrick Wanis reveals there are various possible contributing factors that lead to a person becoming a mass killer and says that Army Psychiatrist Hasan fits the profile of a mass murderer.

Click on the link below to download and listen to the interview Patrick Wanis Ph.D. gave to 850 WFTL’s Russ Morley or read the transcription further below. Click here for the radio interview Pyschiatrist kills 13 soldiers 

Transcription of the radio interview:

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Below is Part Three of the transcript of a lengthy interview and discussion between Dr. Peter Breggin, author of “Medication Madness - a psychiatrist exposes the dangers of mood-altering medications” and Patrick Wanis Ph.D.

Click here to read Part One of the interview

Click here to read Part Two

Click here to listen to the complete interview

Patrick:           Well – and I know that you’re happily married and you have a lot of satisfaction and fulfillment within your relationship which makes you a great role model for a lot of people. But I’m curious about some of the cases, because, right at the beginning, I even used the terms lobotomy and psychosurgery. And I thought to myself, you know, we’ve bandied around the word lobotomy for many years. But was there a time in medicine when they actually removed parts of the brain or here in America did surgery do so in the hope of changing the way you think and feel?

Peter:              Well, it’s – first of all, it still goes on. I’ll give you a brief history and in 1936, a Portuguese surgeon started cutting up – actually he poisoned – he put holes in the brains of mental patients in the state’s mental hospital and poured poison in. (more…)

Excerpt from an interview: Winnie Yu http://winnieyu.net and Patrick Wanis PhD, author of “Secrets to Losing Weight, Being Thin and Loving Your Body”:

Winnie: What are common stereotypes of fat people and thin people?

Patrick Wanis PhD:

Generally, when we think of fat people we think of them as inferior on many levels: physically, mentally and even emotionally (as it pertains to relationships.)

Almost 78 years ago, Coca Cola made famous the fat jolly, rosy red cheek Santa Claus and only until recently have we associated fat with happy and jolly and often more so with men than women. Today’s fat people, particularly women are viewed as angry, bitter, outspoken, opinionated, and even dumb. Rosie O Donnell is criticized and viewed as angry and bitter while Drew Carey and John Goodman are viewed as lovable comedians. Even the character Mimi in the Drew Carey TV show was portrayed as almost a caricature - opinionated, with extreme makeup and unstable self-esteem. Mimi was more of a circus act than a three-dimensional being. Either way, we tend to view fat people as a form of entertainment on television i.e. Drew Carey, John Goodman, John Candy, Chris Farley, John Belushi, Louie Anderson, Lavell Crawford and so forth. Again, men generally get a pass for being fat – if they are funny! And most of them made fun of themselves for being overweight.

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The Life Events Inventory as a predictor for injury and illness
– The Holmes and Rahe Stress Scale - take the test below

It may seem almost blatantly obvious that major life changes contribute to stress but it may not be as obvious that multiple major life changes within one year correlate with a higher risk of injury or illness.

We too often take it for granted that life changes alter a person’s social roles and relationships, such as mar­riage, divorce, job change, serious illness, or the death of a loved one, and thus, they increase a person’s suscepti­bility to stress, and in turn contribute if not directly cause a host of physical, mental and emotional ailments and illnesses. The ripples of stress will often last for a year or even longer.

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