Diana Falzone of Maxim Radio emailed me to bring to my attention her latest quest to support women. Her post and then my response are below:
Read this post it may help us girls out! Send it to every girl who has been broken up with, cheated on, or lied to by a guy.
Enough is enough. Last week I read on Gawker.com about the terrible Glamour blogger and his womanizing ways…today I read about Eliot Spitzer cheating on his wife of twenty years with a hooker. What is wrong with men? I think I’ve finally figured it out. It’s women. Women find excuses to stay with their men while men try to find excuses to leave their wives and girlfriends.
I live in New York City which I think has to be one of the most competitive dating scenes in the world. Every weekend one of my beautiful, independent, successful girlfriends tells me about the guy who cheated on her. We sit over brunch discussing every single detail of their relationship. We try to figure out what happened in his childhood and past relationships that made him want to stray from what seemed a promising romance. Then, we look at her behavior. Did she cause him to be a cheating a-hole? NO, NO, and NO. Yet, my friend walks away heart broken and defeated. No one is immune to being hurt but afer a while I worry about myself and my girlfriends. When will we stop being able to heal our hearts and find love again. There is only so much infidelity a person can handle before they stop believing in love. In order to keep women of the world from becoming bitter, cynical spinsters I ask that we as a gender stick together and have a weekend without men!
Tell your sister, best friend, cousin, neighbor, co-worker to give up men for a Saturday night. In fact, this Saturday March 15th. Take back your night. Dress up for yourself, go do something for you, don’t worry about him. Let him sit on his couch playing Halo with his buddies who suffer from Peter Pan Syndrome and wonder, “I wonder what (insert your name) is doing right now?” Let men see that women are not willing to deal with their crap anymore.
Are you with me girls?
There are two key points here that need to be addressed. First: the individual choice that one makes to engage in lying and cheating and; Second: women who betray women.
When women choose to have an affair or a tryst with a man whom they know is in a relationship then they are betraying their own gender. So Diana, while it is commendable to call out to women to unite and stand up to the cheaters, we should also appeal to women to honor and respect themselves and their own gender. If women said no to the married or taken man, then he would be forced to deal with his issues and his relationship rather than simply escaping himself and betraying his relationship. In other words, when men cheat they are doing it (almost always) with another woman. So women, stop listening to his ploys: “ohh, i am so unhappy in my relationship…she treats me like crap…she pays no attention to me…she is a bitch…she doesn’t love me…she is just using me…we are in the relationship for the kids…(and my favorite)…we sleep in the same bed but we are not having sex!” Tell him when he is free and clear (of his relationship and his issues and insecurities) to come back and see you. Guess what? If he doesn’t come back to you, he was just using you anwyay!
My final point, ignoring your man won’t make him a better person nor faithful – he will probably just go out with the boys and hit on those “dressed up” ladies Diana mentioned! Instead, sit down and speak openly with him about where your relationship is heading and how you feel. Also discuss with him definitions of cheating and your values!
read my other articles on cheating in my blog!
Remember, every relationship begins with you. Begin loving and respecting yourself. OK, i am now expecting a call from Diana!