“But there is much more than just kangaroos and koalas when it comes to the Aussie way of life, something that is enjoyed by 22 million people spread across 3 million square miles.

Read the full article by Patrick Wanis PhD on FOXNEWS.com:

http://www.foxnews.com/opinion/2012/01/26/what-americans-can-learn-from-aussies-on-australia-day/

PATRICK WANIS: I’ve been called guru and stuff. And I say I’m not a guru. Please don’t place me on a pedestal. Just listen to my message follow your instinct if there’s something valuable here, use it.

LAUREL MORALES: Wanis says gurus manipulate and claim to know what’s best for you. They create a relationship where your unquestioned obedience is demanded.

PATRICK WANIS: Anytime we experience a major crisis, we are susceptible to seeking out spiritual healers, gurus and other people who claim they have the answer that will satisfy our sense of wanting to find an explanation for chronic suffering and mortality.

Listen to the NPR radio interview where Wanis talks about “Sweat lodge tragedy highlights lack of self-help industry regulations”:
http://kjzz.org/content/1112/sweat-lodge-tragedy-highlights-lack-self-help-industry-regulations

Watch Patrick Wanis PhD on FOX News

Santa Claus is coming to town

He’s making a list

And checking it twice;

Gonna find out

Who’s naughty and nice

If it were up to Santa, a lot of celebs would not be getting any presents this year!

The celebrity list of who’s naughty and NOT nice is a long one: Fake marriages, quick divorces, infidelity, shoplifting, sexting, jumping from balconies and falling into trees, becoming a groupie at age 45, wanting to kill the Pope, throwing tantrums on a plane, carrying $10,000 cash in your purse to a house party, illegal gambling, drugs, violence, racism, and just plain, stupid nasty comments! These are just some of the bizarre behaviors that landed celebrities into the 5th annual list of The Top 10 Celebrity Meltdowns of 2011 by Human Behavior Expert, Patrick Wanis PhD.

“Bad behavior is on the rise amongst celebrities because we glamorize and create idols of people who have truly made little or no contribution to society and we reward them with money, fame, attention, prestige and undeserving significance’ says Wanis. “And by rewarding bad behavior instead of punishing it, we only serve to encourage and nurture it.”

“The media is also responsible for rewarding and encouraging bad behavior: as more and more media outlets fight to get attention and to get the scoop, they ignore all sense of responsibility, morality and integrity by willingly agreeing to interview, promote and thus glorify accused pedophiles, criminals, cheaters, mistresses, liars, addicts, misogynists, and self-promoting narcissists.”

“Meanwhile, women are also responsible for nurturing of female bad behavior. The paradox is that while we are obsessed with being politically correct in our language, women continue to undermine and demean themselves by promoting demeaning, derogatory and sexist terms and viewpoints with books authored by women with titles such as “Skinny Bitch” “Prairie Bitch”, “Yoga Bitch” and “Good Christian Bitches”, reveals Wanis.

“This is an example of the way the Hip-hop culture and its sexist and misogynistic language and paradigms have pervaded all strata of society (including celebrities), resulting in the dissolution of all boundaries of morality, the sexual objectification of women and violence against women. Snooki and the cast of MTV’s Jersey Shore are but one example of the glorification and rewarding of extremely negative role-models.”

“Part of the solution is to awake and stop viewing celebrities as leaders, role models or people to follow; and instead celebrate the artistic achievements and contributions of those people who actually make a positive difference and not the narcissistic ones who demand to be rewarded for simply being in existence on this planet and for their parasitic behavior.”

Here is Wanis’ fifth annual list of The Top Ten Celebrity Meltdowns of 2011 along with his expert insights into their antics and dangerous behavior.

Can you guess the number 1 Celebrity Meltdown of 2011?

Here is Patrick’s list along with his insights.
Let’s start at number ten and work our way up to the top Celebrity Meltdown of 2011…

10. JOHNNY DEPP, SUSAN SARANDON & SINEAD O’CONNOR.

We have all had a moment where our emotions have taken over and we have lost control and said something stupid that we later regret. But giving interviews that express verbal violence or demean women and rape is absurd and indicates how fame and wealth can disconnect and isolate a celebrity from reality and the challenges that the everyday person experiences. Johnny Depp – AKA Captain Jack Sparrow told Vanity Fair magazine that he compares photoshoots with rape: “Well, you just feel like you’re being raped somehow. Raped…It feels like a kind of weird – just weird, man.” Meanwhile Johnny Depp also angered religious activists by teaming up with British rock band Babybird to record “The Jesus Stag Night Club,” about a boozing Christ-like figure in a strip club.
Susan Sarandon spoke out against the death penalty but referred to Pope Benedict XVI Joseph Ratzinger as a Nazi (his biography states that he was once involuntarily enrolled as a member of the Hitler Youth.) Meanwhile, Sinead O’Connor went further tweeting that that she would perform a “bloodbath” if Pope Benedict XVI visited Ireland. Celebrities could promote their cause by using appropriate language and metaphors instead of polarizing people or distracting from the topic at hand.

9.   ALEC BALDWIN

In 2007, Baldwin made it into the Top Ten List of Celebrity Meltdowns at no. 8 when he threatened and insulted his 11-year-old daughter, Ireland, in a phone message, calling her a “thoughtless little pig,” threatening to “straighten your ass out when I see you”, telling her she doesn’t have the brain of a human being and then verbally bashing her mother and his ex-wife, Kim Basinger as “a thoughtless pain in the ass who doesn’t care about you.” But in 2011, Baldwin violated FAA regulations and threw a childish tantrum that one might expect from an 11-year-old but not from a father; behavior that reflects immaturity, entitlement, arrogance, selfishness and irresponsibility. Alec Baldwin was kicked off an American Airlines flight for ignoring flight attendant requests to power off his iPad for departure and for using offensive and violent language: “with the seat belt light still on for departure he took his phone into the plane’s lavatory. He slammed the lavatory door so hard, the cockpit crew heard it and became alarmed even with the cockpit door closed and locked.”

Federal Aviation Administration rules prohibit an airline or pilot from allowing passengers to operate “any portable electronic device” on an operating aircraft. Baldwin’s choice to respond in a “violent, abusive and aggressive” way was a selfish action because it inconvenienced so many other passengers. Alec Baldwin did Tweet an apology for inconveniencing passengers but he refused to fully accept responsibility for his inappropriate behavior and example, and instead he wrote at length about the bad state of the airlines and then went on SNL and spoofed, ridiculed and belittled American Airlines, the captain and crew, by playing the role of the airline pilot Steve Roach. Dressed as the pilot, Baldwin proceeds to apologize to himself, calling Baldwin “a treasure” and “an American Hero.”

But a hero is usually someone who displays tremendous courage and saves a life – not someone who throws a tantrum, acts in a violent and abusive manner, locks himself in the lavatory like a spoilt child, inconveniences other passengers, and refuses to accept any responsibility for his behavior. Thus, again, in 2011, Baldwin displayed behavior that is a bad example as a father – belligerent, rude and unable to restrain his emotions just as he did in 2007 when he called his then 11-year-old daughter a “thoughtless little pig”; words that might now be a better description of his own behavior.

Ultimately Baldwin’s behavior and subsequent responses stir resentment towards flight attendants (whose priority is safety) and do nothing to help change FAA regulations. In other words, Baldwin will still have to turn off his iPad, cell phone or other video games when on board a plane preparing to depart or land. No matter how many times he cries, stamps his feet or locks himself in a bathroom, the rules will still apply to him.

(Other celebrities who have displayed wanton entitlement in 2011 on flights include actor Josh Duhamel, Green Day’s Billie Joe Armstrong and diva Whitney Houston.)

8. GEORGE LOPEZ.

He’s been married and divorced and still George Lopez doesn’t realize that one of the most offensive and hurtful things you can ever say to a woman is to call her ugly or fat. On his TV show “Lopez Tonight”, he made a joke about former “Cheers” actress Kirstie Alley’s appearance on “Dancing with The Stars” – but he compared Alley to a pig. “She did a nice job, her little hooves tapping away. Before the show she went to the market, then she had roast beef, and this is her going all the way home,” he said and then cut to a video of a squealing pig. Alley responded by comparing Lopez to the Big, Bad Wolf, saying she would laugh as he suffered in boiling water. Lopez apologized but Alley Tweeted back to Lopez whose ex wife donated a kidney to him in 2005: “I don’t need or want ur apology…I want your kidney dude..on behalf of ur X and all the women uv insulted…give it back.”

7. BRETT RATNER, KATT WILLIAMS/TRACY MORGAN.

Director of the Rush Hour movies and Tower Heist, Brett Ratner “resigned” as producer of the 2012 Academy Awards after stating that “rehearsal is for fags.” While his response to his comments was honorable, Ratner was trying to puff up his own chest and boast of his own manliness when making that original statement.
And while comedians often push the envelope and say controversial things (some even make social and political commentary), Katt Wiillams went too far when he ranted about Mexicans, stating that they should go back to their country. And Tracy Morgan said if his son turned out to be gay, he would pull out a knife and stab that little nigger to death. Morgan typically bowed to pressure, apologized and claimed that he is not hateful or violent. But racism, bigotry, bias and prejudice cannot be changed by a forced apology. Forcing people to be fake and give fraudulent apologies to save their career and popularity doesn’t change their beliefs and only encourages people to lie about their real feelings. Morgan and Williams would have served more people by admitting their real feelings and prejudices and then agreeing to address those feelings and beliefs to become more accepting and compassionate comedians.

6. KELSEY GRAMMER & CAMILLE.

It’s common for people to carry resentment and thus say nasty things about their spouse after they are divorced. But the star of “The Real Houswewives of Beverly Hills”, Camille Grammer, doesn’t know how to be a real mom, ignoring all thought of the destructive impact her comments about her husband would have on her children, bringing them embarrassment, shame and humiliation when she told the world that Kelsey Grammer is not well endowed physically: “Big hands, big feet, big disappointment.” Meanwhile, Kelsey, who dumped his wife Camille for another younger woman, threw a hissyfit after being interviewed on ‘Sunrise’, a national Australian TV program which showed clips of ‘Real Housewives of Beverly Hills’ with Camille commenting on Kelsey. But Kelsey with a hugely inflated sense of self and ego, along with symptoms of The Fame Factor (denial, entitlement and delusions of grandeur and power) believed that his owed so much more from the world; Kelsey called one of show producers and slammed her “You are a vile person … a sick dog…Your life must be tragic. … I feel sorry for you.” Grammer refused to apologize for his insults and childish response, saying “My outburst was deserved”; the Sunrise TV show, in turn, has banned him from appearing on it ever again.

Kelsey continues to reveal that he is a bad role model for his children and for other men with his infidelities, narcissism, entitlement and childish temper tantrums.

5.  ASHTON KUTCHER and JESSE JAMES.

Both celebrities have a lot in common as they refuse to be men and accept responsibility for the destruction of their relationships. After Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore ended their six year marriage, Kutcher said “Marriage is one of the most difficult things in the world and unfortunately sometimes they fail.” But Kutcher failed to add that his marriage also failed because he cheated on Demi and on their sixth anniversary night. Kutcher and his wife Demi found a mission and purpose greater than themselves by working to end underage sex trafficking but he lost sight of that mission when he turned hedonistic and distracted attention from a greater cause than his own pleasure.
Jesse James was number four on the list of Top Ten Celebrity Meltdowns for 2010 after cheating on wife Sandra Bullock numerous times with strippers and tattoo models. Then he became engaged to LA ink star, Kate Von D, but cheated on her with 19 women. “I am the most hated man in the world” he said in 2010, reflecting a grandiose and overly inflated sense of self – and it seems one year later that nothing and no amount of women can satisfy his inner emptiness. Nothing has changed for him as he still refuses to take responsibility for his own horrible behavior, speaking out in December 2011, and crying that he lost himself by marrying Sandra Bullock: “I became a big shot and married some Hollywood actress and didn’t talk to anybody anymore, so I feel bad…” Now, he finally reinforced the claim by people who said Sandra Bullock was in a higher league than him!

4. KIM KARDASHIAN.

One of the richest and most famous women in the US, Kim Kardashian and her sisters built an empire based on the Paris Hilton model – release a sex tape, promote your sexuality, self and hedonism, and let the world feel like they are privileged to have a peek into your world of glitz, glamour and the princess life.

But Kim tarnished her empire and power when she married and then filed for divorce from NBA player Kris Humphries after only 72 days of marriage – and a ten-million-dollar televised wedding. Fans became angry feeling betrayed that the wedding had been a fraud. Even her husband Kris Humphries now claims he was played for a fool, stating that the wedding was fraudulent and he has filed for annulment. James Bond star Daniel Craig labeled her and each one of the Kardashians as a “f…ing idiot.”

But the greatest damage Kim has done is by the bad example she has set for other women; instead of accepting any part or responsibility in a sham marriage, Kim tried to defend her choice to end her pledge of “till death do us part” by responding to the large public outcry and criticism of a fake wedding with claims that she loved Kris but he was mean to her and he called her fat. Does a spouse break a pledge based on name-calling and cite that as “irreconcilable differences” in divorce papers after refusing to even go to couples counseling?

Unknowingly, Kim Kardashian is setting the worst example for women and setting up women for major disappointment as she leads women down the dangerous path of idolizing the woman who seemingly has it all (fame, fortune, glam, power and independence) but cannot have a meaningful relationship and ultimately becomes a narcissist. The goals seem empty, meaningless and unfulfilling. The focus is self-centered – the wedding but no family – and no interest in motherhood! Which celebrity woman today promotes giving back or helping others? They all promote parasitism and narcissism.

The latest studies on narcissism amongst college students reveal that we are all progressively becoming more narcissistic but women make up the largest share of those increases in narcissism.  So, women are becoming more narcissistic than men as they focus on attention, competition, materialism, instant gratification, consumerism and individualism – following in the footsteps of Kim Kardashian, Paris Hilton, Lindsay Lohan, Snooki and all the women scratching each others’ eyes to get on a TV reality show.

Kim Kardashian could learn a lot from Paris Hilton who proceeded her; Paris’ life thus far reveals that she is alone, unhappy and unsatisfied!

3. ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER and ANTHONY WEINER.

Arnold Schwarzenegger revealed that no matter how powerful, famous or successful a man might be, power corrupts him as he seeks out submissive women. Schwarzenegger was the Terminator on screen, a champion bodybuilder around the world and Governor of California. He married an equally if not more powerful and successful woman – Maria Shriver – and they had four children together. In 2011, it was revealed that Schwarzenegger was an example of ‘men marrying up but cheating down’; Schwarzenegger had engaged in an adulterous affair and secretly fathered a son 14 year prior with his housekeeper Mildred Baena, a frumpy woman of average looks and low social status. The Terminator’s marriage was terminated by his wife when she filed for divorce.

Power leads to cheating because it can lead to delusions of invincibility, entitlement and the male ego-drive to win, conquer and dominate but, when an externally powerful man like Schwarzenegger cheats with a submissive woman (his housekeeper), one whom he can control, he is trying to feel the power and masculinity that he lacks in his relationship with his often very powerful or famous wife. Men unconsciously seek the approval and validation of their wife and without it they look for another woman to compensate.

This, in no way justifies cheating nor does it lay blame on the wife, but the women engaging in the betrayal are giving into the greatest aphrodisiac of all – the power that these men offer.

The next best and most scandalous example in 2011 of infidelity and men marrying up but cheating down is US Democratic Congressman Anthony Weiner. His wife, Huma Abedin is powerful and successful in her own right; she is a longtime personal aide of Hillary Clinton. Engaging in selfish, stupid and self-sabotaging behavior, Weiner Twitted lewd photos of himself and his weiner to a few of his Twitter followers, young admirers and a former porn actress.

Weiner acted in a manner that reflected the corruption by power when he thought he was above the law and could fool people by denying that he sent those photos and lying that someone else had hacked his Twitter account. Eventually, Weiner was forced to admit that he was the one who sent out the photos although he still tried to justify his infidelity by saying that he never had any physical relations with any of those women and so therefore he wasn’t cheating. On June 16, 2011, Weiner announced his intention to resign from Congress and the scandal was dubbed Weinergate.

Both Weiner and Schwarzenegger are examples of the way men can destroy their careers when they allow power to corrupt them, resulting in the feeding of their most basic sexual desires.

2. LINDSAY LOHAN and MICHAEL LOHAN.

Lindsay’s meltdowns and reckless behavior have put her on the list of the top ten celebrity meltdowns 4 times out of the past 5 years. In 2007, Lindsay was no. 4. In 2009, she was no. 7, in 2010, was no. 3, and in 2011, she has climbed up again to no. 2 as her behavior continues to spiral out of control and her stupidity sees no bounds – she took $10,000 cash in her purse to a house party in Hawaii, where her purse and the money were subsequently stolen.

The list of her irresponsible and stupid actions in 20111 alone is exhaustive and not worthy of fully identifying except to say that her record is an example of self-serving judges who are more intent on placating Hollywood and being reelected than they are in serving justice and the community.

On February 9, 2011, Lohan was charged with the theft of a necklace from a jewelry store in January. She was sentenced to 120 days in jail, but due to jail overcrowding, Lohan served the sentence under house arrest, wearing a tracking ankle monitor, for 35 days. While under house arrest, Lohan failed a random alcohol test but again the judge refused to issue additional punishment. When Lohan later violated court-ordered community service, she was given a jail sentence (the 5th jail sentence in 4 years) but again she only spent 5 hours in jail. Until a judge fulfills his/her responsibility and duty, Lohan will continue to break the law because she has been given little motivation thus far to abide by it and because people are happy to reward her bad, selfish and narcissistic behavior such as Playboy Magazine paying her a reported one million dollars for  a nude photoshoot.

Meanwhile, one of the people responsible for her psychological issues and dysfunction, her father Michael Lohan, parallels his daughter’s shocking behavior with his own shameful actions over many years (cocaine use, jail sentences, contempt of court et al.) Amongst the many incidents in 2011 alone that could be cited here, on such occurred on October 25, 2011, when Michael Lohan was arrested on suspicion of domestic violence involving his girlfriend and he then feined chest pain. Michael Lohan was issued a restraining order but after violating it, police came to his hotel to arrest him and he jumped from his third story hotel balcony and fell into a tree as he tries to escape police.

Sadly, none of the Lohans are doing well and it only seems to get worse.

1. CHARLIE SHEEN.

No one engaged in more unashamed and blatantly bizarre, shocking and controversial behavior or got more publicity in 2011 than Charlie Sheen!

“Whu-whu-winning!” was Charlie Sheen’s catch-cry across the country as he told the world that he has “Tiger blood” and “Adonis DNA.” He paraded his escort porn actress mistresses around the country with his aptly named tour “My Violent Torpedo of Truth/Defeat Is Not an Option.” His year was peppered with violent language and drunken binges as Charlie took every opportunity to appear on every TV show and internet specials to attack anyone that possibly stood in his way. Often referring to “war”, Sheen attacked his boss Chuck Lorre (resulting in his firing from the hit TV show – “Two and a half men”), TV execs saying they have ugly wives and children cast members and even his wife, Brooke Mueller. And this was one of the most damaging acts for his children, when he announced that he is teaching his young kids the word “rehab” so they will know where their mom Brooke Mueller is.

Eventually the mania that Sheen displayed died down as his claims of winning also came to an end – as he encountered boos, hisses, and objects thrown at him by people who paid to attend his performances, his prophecies of TV execs begging him to come back failed to come to fruition and he even indirectly begged for his job back.

The saddest part of Sheen’s multiple meltdowns and perverse behavior is the potential damage and trauma to his children; in 2010 he also admitted he assaulted Brooke Mueller. Sheen’s subconscious drive to prove himself and thus scream to the world that he is a winner is driven by the simple subconscious belief that he is a loser and can never win. Charlie’s father, Martin Sheen, admitted that he never let Charlie win – and even robbed him of fair and real wins. On one occasion, Charlie, age 15, for the first time beat his father one-on-one basketball, but his dad cheated him, claiming “No, you stepped on the line, right here. You went out of bounds.” Martin summed up his own behavior towards Charlie: “I could not let him have it. He beat me fair and square, and I could not let him have it, and he was furious. That’s the ego. That’s what he had to deal with in me, what the whole family had to deal with.”

And now, Charlie is tortured as he strives to convince the world and ultimately himself and his father that his is a winner, that he is good enough and worthy. And unless Charlie Sheen urgently changes his beliefs and behavior, his children will lose and grow up following in his footsteps, feeling like losers, turning to drugs, alcohol and sex in the hope that it might drown out the pain of feeling unloved, unwanted and not good enough.

“Do you see any oversized animals anywhere in the world living a long life? We’re pretty much on our own here. ”

— Tony Siragusa (340-pound NFL defensive tackle for 12 seasons with the Indianapolis Colts and Baltimore Ravens.)

Chaz Bono threatened to sue the National Enquirer over an article that claims that his weight, stress, and the medications and issues associated with his gender reassignment, could increase the likelihood of an early death.  http://www.eonline.com/news/chaz_bono_threatens_legal_action_over/273415#ixzz1cqlW6Oqt

Patrick Wanis PhD was cited in the article as a Human Behavior Expert (and contrary to claims by Bono’s attorney, Wanis was not cited or credited as a transgender specialist or medical doctor in the Enquirer article and no such inferences should be made.) Wanis was quoted as listing and revealing some of the obvious and not so obvious risks to Chaz Bono’s health.

Following Chaz Bono’s angry response to the article, Patrick Wanis PhD responded with a personal video message to Chaz. In the video posted on YouTube http://youtu.be/3zu64DvHhWU Wanis heeds Bono to ignore the sensationalism of the Enquirer headlines such as “liver damage agony” but still take action about his health and to surround himself only with people that really care, and beware of Hollywood’s parasites. Watch that video message to Chaz Bono here: http://youtu.be/3zu64DvHhWU

Weight and obesity
“As a transsexual woman myself, the Enquirer is right to a point. Chaz’s weight should be a serious concern regardless of whether you are trans or not. I can’t speak for trans men but I know through my experiences on female hormone therapy, there is definitely a health risk where it comes to liver damage and blood clots. This is why I am checked out by a physician every few months as a part of my hormone replacement therapy. Chaz really needs to lose weight. This is not a transsexual/transgender issue, this is a health issue.”  – Michiko

“The amazing athletes of the National Football League — bigger and stronger than ever before — are dying young at a rate experts find alarming, and many of the players are succumbing to ailments typically related to weight…The heaviest athletes are more than twice as likely to die before their 50th birthday than their teammates, according to a Scripps Howard News Service study of 3,850 professional-football players who have died in the last century.” http://sports.espn.go.com/nfl/news/story?id=2313476

Twenty-eight percent of all pro-football players born in the last century who qualified as obese died before their 50th birthday, compared with 13 percent who were less overweight.

The dangers of being overweight and obese would seem to be obvious but the same way that an addict can be in denial, overweight people still need to beware of falling into a state of denial and thus they need to become self-aware. “If sports players need to be aware of the threat to their life, then so, too, does the average person need to be aware of the imminent threats to life because of excess weight or obesity” says Wanis.

The same ESPN article (cited above) warned of the dangers of imminent death for anyone close to 300 pounds:

“Tony Mandarich — nicknamed “The Incredible Bulk” while playing guard at 325 pounds for the Green Bay Packers — said he gained even more weight after retiring and soon was put on high-blood-pressure medicine…”My doctor asked me, ‘How many 320-pound men who are 80 years old do you see walking around?’ That’s when the lightbulb came on over my head,” Mandarich said. http://sports.espn.go.com/nfl/news/story?id=2313476

Craig Title, M.D. is a weight loss expert based in New York with “NY Specialists in   Medical Weight Control.” Dr. Craig Title has been often quoted in the Enquirer, Globe, Star and other magazines and media and has speaking about actress Kirstie Alley, he warned about “abdominal fat that’s linked to certain forms of cancer, heart disease, and diabetes.”

Dr. Title, said that losing weight was a huge step in saving the life of actor John Goodman:

“I applaud his weight loss effort,” says Dr. Craig Title, a slimming and diet expert from New York.  “At his age, with a history of heart disease in the family, he’s at an increased risk of premature death by being obese.  There is no question that losing weight now is a huge step in saving his life.”
http://www.weightlossspecialists.com/InTheNews.html

At one point, Chaz Bono weighed 270 and he’s yo-yo dieted throughout his life. “This takes an enormous toll on the organs of the body especially the heart,” says Dr. Craig Title, a weight loss specialist from New York. “Obesity and weight fluctuations increase your risk of diabetes and heart attack”.

It seems that Chaz Bono remains defiant or possibly in denial of the dangers that obesity represents to his health.  Bono was named among OUT magazine’s 100 most influential gay, lesbian and transgender men and women and a November 2011 photo reveals him with an extremely bloated and extended belly: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/11/08/chaz-bono-shows-off-his-stubble-in-out_n_1082303.html

Stress and mental health
Patrick Wanis PhD has written extensively about the dangers of stress.

Click here for a complete list of the articles on stress by Wanis:
http://patrickwanis.com/blog/index.php/list-of-articles-on-overcoming-stress/

Suggested reading and stress tests:

1.  “Stress, negative emotions & your weight”

http://patrickwanis.com/blog/index.php/stress-negative-emotions-your-weight/

2. Stress: The link between life changes and illness & injury – take the test

http://patrickwanis.com/blog/index.php/stress-the-link-between-life-changes-and-illness-injury/

3. How Stressed are you? Take the test

http://patrickwanis.com/blog/index.php/how-stressed-are-you-take-the-test/

Patrick Wanis PhD had also told the Enquirer the following regarding Chaz Bono but those quotes were unfortunately omitted by the editor:

“I would also suggest counseling, if he isn’t already in therapy, to help him become comfortable with his transition, deal with his feelings of depression and hopefully help him deal with the difficult relationships in his life. I would also suggest that he reaches out to others and shares his experience with others in order to help them with transgender issues. This would give more meaning and purpose in his life and leads to greater happiness, mental health and peace of mind.”

“I would like to see a true connection with his mother. I’m not certain her appearance on DWTS was motivated by a genuine concern for Chaz or to improve her public image after Chaz revealed his rift with Cher. And, it would be helpful to solidify his commitment to Jennifer in a marriage ceremony, something that Chaz says he wants in 2012. These steps can help him live longer. It’s never too late to make this changes.”

Transgender and suicide
The attempted suicide rate amongst transgender people is staggering and alarming:

“Ninety percent of transgender and gender nonconforming people report harassment, discrimination and mistreatment on the job, and the injustices they face have devastating economic and personal consequences, according to a new survey.

“A ‘staggering’ 41 percent of the more than 6,400 respondents said they had attempted suicide, compared to a rate of 1.6 percent for the general population, according to the survey (PDF) by the National Gay and Lesbian Task Force and the National Center for Transgender Equality. The respondents had double the rate of unemployment and were four times more likely to have a household income of less than $10,000 compared to the general population.”

http://www.abajournal.com/news/article/staggering_rate_of_attempted_suicides_by_transgenders_highlights_injustices/

The Public Health Department of King County in Washington states:

“Both suicide attempts and completed suicides are common in transgendered persons. Studies generally report a pre-transition suicide attempt rate of 20% or more, with MTFs relatively more likely to attempt suicide than FTMs. There is some evidence that transsexual people are less likely to attempt suicide once they have completed the transition to the other sex.

“Another form of self-harm in transgendered persons is genital mutilation. This is most common among transsexuals, although cross-dressers have done this as well. A 1984 study of a cohort of transgendered individuals who applied for services at gender identity clinics reported genital mutilation by 9% of the biologic males and breast mutilation was attempted by 2% of the biologic females.

http://www.kingcounty.gov/healthservices/health/personal/glbt/transgender.aspx

Mental health problems in transgendered people
While research is scant, transgendered persons appear to be at similar risk for mental health problems as other persons who experience major life changes, relationship difficulties, chronic medical conditions, or significant discrimination on the basis of minority status.

• Depression

“There is some evidence that transgendered persons may be less likely to seek treatment for depression-fearing that their gender issues will be assumed to be the cause of their symptoms, and that they will be judged negatively. Because of these and other factors, depression associated with gender transition may be under-diagnosed.”

• Victimization and Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome (PTSD)

“Many transgendered persons experience some form of victimization as a direct result of their transgender identity or presentation. This victimization ranges from subtle forms of harassment and discrimination to blatant verbal, physical, and sexual assault, including beatings, rape and even homicide. The majority of assaults against transgender persons are never reported the police. A link between these experiences and mental health disorders such as Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) is widely suspected, but has not been adequately documented.”

http://www.kingcounty.gov/healthservices/health/personal/glbt/transgender.aspx

Click here to watch the personal video message by Patrick Wanis PhD to Chaz Bono: http://youtu.be/3zu64DvHhWU

Read the full article by Brett Smiley on MSN/GLO here: http://glo.msn.com/relationships/cheaters-deconstructed-1534418.story

Extra notes by Patrick Wanis PhD:
People also became attached and gave away their own happiness and power to the outcome of this case; people identified with a win but didn’t get the win they were so desperately seeking. But this case also represented the conflict with new morality or lack of – a young mother who seemed more interested in being a single, carefree party girl than a loving, self-sacrificing mother. In many ways, Casey Anthony represented to many people, today’s typical young woman – the narcissist – selfish, hedonistic, self-serving, only interested in herself, amoral and no sense of responsibility, care, compassion, meaning or purpose in life other than to engage in pleasure and partying.

The Royal Wedding of Prince William and Kate Middleton will draw an audience expected to be over 2.5 billion people, but as Patrick Wanis PhD also reveals (in response to questions posed by a journalist) the world has changed since Prince Charles and Princess Diana’s nuptials on July 29, 1981 – with a greater emphasis today on cynicism and a much more independent modern-day woman who has her own castle and expects the man to rescue her from a different kind of dragon from yesteryear.

Why are we obsessed with the fairytale wedding?

Society encourages women to be romantic, to place great emphasis on love, and its idealism. In fact, much of the literature that children grow up reading promotes the ultimate fantasy as the rescue of the beautiful woman by the knight in shining armor or the handsome prince. In other words, literature and the arts generally create roles for the genders: the damsel in distress for the female, and the heroic prince for the male:

• The prince awakes Sleeping Beauty with a kiss
• The prince revives and awakes Snow White with love
• The charming and handsome prince rescues Cinderella from her tragic life and evil family
• Rapunzel is imprisoned for her parents’ sins by the witch but Rapunzel grows the longest, most beautiful hair in the world. A prince falls in love with her and when trying to rescue her he falls and is blinded but later when he and Rapunzel are reunited, he is rewarded with his sight so he can gaze upon her beauty; they marry and live happily ever after.

Of course, these fairy tales have many themes and messages but nonetheless, there is one common strong message:

The heroine is the woman that is beautiful, kind and gracious but she is helpless, suffering at the hands of other women jealous of her beauty. Her only hope for happiness and freedom is the love of the handsome, rich and powerful man (the prince) who will rescue her, provide for her and bring her eternal happiness with his unwavering, undying love and worship of her.

Even much of the adult literature and arts continues this theme of the man rescuing, saving or fighting to protect the woman and offering her emotional and financial security. The modern day twist is that the woman is powerful and intelligent but still needs and depends on the man to rescue her (think of Leeloo in the movie, The Fifth Element: she is here to rescue the world because she is The Fifth Element (love) but she is still vulnerable and must be saved by the man who has had so many failures in his life Korben Dallas, and he will redeem himself by rescuing her and by releasing his cynisicm and believing in love once more. And yes, they also seemingly live happily ever after.)

In the romance novel (written by women for women), which represents the woman’s idealized version of love and relationships, the ultimate goal of the heroine is to win the hero and for them to become one; and in real life, the wedding represents a rite of passage for the woman as well as the grandiose means to announce, formalize and celebrate the woman and this union in a way that is hopeful of blessings and happiness.

Here now is the strong and clear idealism of love, namely romantic love, as the ultimate goal and objective for every woman.

And, of course, there can be no greater wedding and fairytale than the prince who marries his princess, and they both await to soon become king and queen, living happily ever after.

Read more: http://patrickwanis.com/blog/index.php/why-do-women-crave-romance/

Do we still believe in fairytales?

Fairytales and fairytale weddings offer us hope. Hope is a learned emotion or response that affects our behavior and even our results; studies reveal that we perform better when we are more hopeful that we will succeed.  Many religions are built on hope.

When we talk about fairytale endings, we are focusing on hope of something blessed with unusual happiness. But the struggles we all face today (economy, natural disasters, wars, terrorism and general uncertainty along with the high rate of failed marriages and divorces) have made us more cynical. And with regards to a royal wedding, the tragic ending of Princess Diana may have made us even more cynical. Plus, there was a greater sense of innocence, naivety and pureness to Princess Diana which, in turn, gave the wedding a heightened feeling of love and romance.

But even in Britain where the people are still suffering from a weak economy and financial cutbacks, 45 percent of Britons are not planning to watch the celebrations, with 32 percent of people saying they would tune in, according to a survey by pollsters YouGov for online travel agent Lastminute.com.

Weddings, though, continue to be popular, in Las Vegas alone, each year, more than 150,000 couples say “I do.” And as long as people decide to get married a second, third and fourth time, weddings will remain popular.

Interestingly, sales of the romance novel continue to grow. The latest statistics reveal that romance fiction was the largest share of the US consumer market in 2009 at 13.2 percent, generating $1.36 billion in sales (almost double its next competitor Religion/inspirational which generated $770 million.)

Is it women who still wish for the fairytale romance?

There are no conclusive studies that reveal that more women than men still wish for fairytale weddings, but women still crave romance above men.

Women are more emotional than men and place greater emphasis on love and relationships than men do. The limbic system, or emotional brain, tends to be larger in women. The limbic system is the emotional bonding center of the brain. The larger limbic size makes bonding easier for women and they tend to have more friends in life and have a larger nesting instinct than men. Oxytocin –hormone of love and cuddle chemical is present in both genders but is more prevalent in women. Oxytocin is associated with bonding, a sense of partnership and urge to care for a child. It is often released during times of stress and labor and delivery (and creates the bond between mother and child.)

And yes, women still seek romance as evidenced by the sales of the romance novel which continues to grow. As noted above: The latest statistics reveal that romance fiction was the largest share of the US consumer market in 2009 at 13.2 percent, generating $1.36 billion in sales (almost double its next competitor Religion/inspirational which generated $770 million.)

Read more: http://patrickwanis.com/blog/index.php/how-stupid-are-men/

Do fairytales still exist? Can fairytales come true today?

While fairytales create and drive the concepts of hope and idealism, they can also be harmful because the ending in all of the romantic fairytales is “And they lived happily ever after” thus creating the false expectation that the romantic love and infatuation alone will guarantee happiness, free of all possible trials, tribulations or hard work. The fairytales always end before the children are born and before either partner has to work or take on life’s every day responsibilities and challenges.

Fairytales cannot exist in real life because they teach that the only challenges that one will face are the ones leading up to the union of the man and woman, and that once that conquest has been made,  they will live happily ever after!
While modern women claim to be over fairytale marriages and instead claim to be fulfilled by other things, is there still a need to be fulfilled by this fairytale marriage?

Although gender roles are changing and transforming in the 21^st century (leaving both men and women confused about what their roles should be) women still seek the ideal romance and may still seek the fairytale marriage but for the primary reason that they seek security and ultimately are afraid of being alone. In my therapy practice, most women complain that they can look after themselves financially and are seeking a man who can offer them emotional security and meaningful companionship as well as love and romance.

The fairytale marriage and romance has to transform and evolve because of the transforming role and power of women: Women are taking over and men will have to be able to offer women much more than financial security; they will have to be able to offer love, emotional security and the union:

• The workforce

For the first time in US history, there are more women than men in the workforce;

• Education

In Australia, The US and the UK, Women are becoming more educated than men as women surpass men in attendance and graduation rates – for every two men who get a college degree, three women will also. In fact, women are even outperforming men in academic results.

• Buying power

Women account for 85% of all consumer purchases in the US, including everything from autos to health care (91% of new homes and 92% of vacations.)

• Politics and religion

Women are also becoming more powerful in politics and religion; Iceland and Australia both have a female leader!

Read more: http://patrickwanis.com/blog/index.php/women-are-taking-over/

In the traditional fairytale, the princess needed to be rescued from the dragon thus symbolizing that she needed physical protection (i.e. also financial protection leading to physical and financial security – the castle, food, water and shelter) but today, the princess seeks a man who rescues her from a new dragon – a man that offers her emotional protection and security; she has her own castle.

What essentially really makes us feel fulfilled and is fulfillment different for men and women?

Fulfillment is often an individual experience not directly connected to gender. The old imposed ideal for women (fulfillment being attained by becoming a successful housewife and mother) has now changed and women can seek their own fulfillment as a mother, wife, single woman, career woman, entrepreneur or any combination of these. The one element that seems to remain constant is that women seek emotional security above all else, particularly now that women can and are often financially independent.

For men, the old imposed ideal (fulfillment being attained by becoming a financially successful father and provider) seems to not have changed so much – men are still expected to be financially successful, though, with the emphasis more on providing emotional security than financial security.

Ultimately, for all humans, regardless of gender, true fulfillment only comes from serving others and making a difference. Although, today we have moved away from the idea of helping others and have become the ‘me, me, me generation’, obsessed by narcissism and the idea of ‘winning’ – we have lost what truly makes us happy and fulfilled – love in all of its forms and expressions – affection, friendship, romance  and unconditional love.

Read more: http://patrickwanis.com/blog/index.php/vulnerability-is-weakness/

Patrick Wanis Ph.D.

Celebrity Life Coach, Human Behavior & Relationship Expert & SRTT Therapist
www.patrickwanis.com

[0:00:46]

Recording:                  In an ever-changing world, Life Changes Network presents a voice of truth and inspiration broadcasting on frequencies of love, light, and information, illuminating new paths for new directions as we as one strive for higher and higher planes of existence, and a better understanding of ourselves in the world in which we live. Always remembering this is Life Changes. This is radio like you’ve never felt before. This is Life Changes with Filippo with tonight’s special guest, Patrick Wanis, celebrity life coach and human behavior and relationship expert PhD. And now your host, our emcee, the master of change, Filippo Voltaggio.

Filippo Voltaggio:         Ciao, everyone. The Oscars were yesterday. We’re going to be talking a lot about that with our guest, Patrick Wanis, tonight. But before we talk about the Oscars per se, you know, watching the parade of styles, what’s in, what’s not in, what’s fashionable, what’s cool, what’s looking great, reminds me of a little while back, I had some friends tell me, and granted, they admittedly call themselves shallow at times, tell me that I dress like their grandfather, and I needed to up the way I dress. Make it more cool. So we went shopping. And we were on this rack looking at jeans, and one of them said, “Now, this is the pair of jeans you should be wearing.” That pair of jeans had more holes in it than my old pair of jeans at home, and the ones that they wanted me to throw away looked newer than the ones they wanted me to spend, I don’t know, $200, $300 on. And I thought, “This is cool? This is hip? And here I was being criticized because my jeans had no holes in them.”

And then another pair of shoes that they had me looked at that were shoes that my parents could only afford to buy me at the time, and so I got teased because I wore those particular shoes or another pair of shoes that were all – they were all frayed like the shoes I used to wear because we couldn’t afford to buy new shoes as often as I needed them as a child, or thought I needed them. Who knew? I was really fashionable at the time. I had clothes that were starting to get holes on them, and my mother would patch them. I had shoes with holes on them, and I had shoes that had frays on them.

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And I was not fashionable. I was teased a lot. And now, I’m being teased somewhat, it doesn’t hurt as much because my clothes are new, and they don’t have holes in them, and my shoes don’t have holes in them, my shoes aren’t frayed. Then I thought, “Wow, what happened? In a few short years, if I was wearing what I used to wear as a kid, I’d be cool.” But I grew up thinking I was uncool because that’s not what the kids wore back then. And is this really that important? Was it really important to tease me because I had holes in my clothes growing up or patched holes in some of them? Is it really important for me to dress with holes now in order for me to be cool? Is it really important for a star to be walking down the red carpet wearing this particular dress or that particular tuxedo made by this particular person or that particular person? And should we really be judging as who was the best dressed or the worse dressed? Those stars have feelings too, and we’re going to be talking about that. As a matter of fact, some of those stars probably got teased when they were kids too, and we’ll be talking about that I’m sure as well.

So I’m thinking I appreciate my friends telling me that they want me to look more cool and more hip. There’s nothing wrong with that. And their teasing, I took lightly. But I’m thinking more of the children. I’m thinking of the children, the ones that can afford to dress the way that other kids do, and ones that can’t afford to dress the way the other kids do. And I have a feeling that we might want to teach our children or share with our children that the way a person dresses, especially if they’re clean may be isn’t that much of a judge of character. And I think I turned out pretty good. Who knows? Maybe the teasing helped.

So anyway, with that, we’re going to be right back after this talking about celebrities, talking about deserveability, and talking about the Oscars with Patrick Wanis.

[0:07:21 to 0:08:20] – Commercial/Advertisement.

Filippo Voltaggio:         You might not be able to tell this from the way he talks, but I’m going to give it away. Our guest is originally from Australia. He’s Patrick Wanis, PhD. He’s a celebrity life coach and hence why we’re going to be talking about the Oscars that just happened last night. He’s also an author. He’s an expert in human behavior and relationships and a clinical hypnotherapist. He’s also the creator of subconscious rapid transformation therapy, which he calls RSTT, with a PhD in health psychology.

Now, I have to mention this because he gets called on television all the time by all of these shows including Fox News, MSNBC, Extra, The Montel Williams Show. I mean the list goes on and on. When Michael Jackson died, Fox News or CNN went to him to ask him about his expert insight. So we have the guy who will give us the expert insight on the Oscars, the celebrities, and deserveability or deservedness. Here is Patrick Wanis.

Patrick Wanis:             Thank you.

Filippo Voltaggio:         [Laughing].

Patrick Wanis:             You’re pausing like I need to do something. Do I do a dance?

Filippo Voltaggio:         I don’t know. Do you know a dance?

Patrick Wanis:             Oh, I do actually. I was also a professional dancer.

Filippo Voltaggio:         Oh, you were? That’s another story.

Patrick Wanis:             Yeah.

Filippo Voltaggio:         Okay. Well, last night was this big event, and I know you’ve been on several shows already today talking about the stars and the Oscars. So just before we start, give us your overview on what kind of a show we were watching last night.

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Patrick Wanis:             Well, I don’t know that – to be completely open, I don’t think it matters what my opinion is about the show. What is more important is your opinion and the people that are listening and watching. I’ll just keep my perspective. I thought it was an awful show but that’s just my opinion. It doesn’t mean that it’s correct or incorrect. It’s just an opinion.

Filippo Voltaggio:         Noble, you say? In what sense?

Patrick Wanis:             No, awful.

Filippo Voltaggio:         Oh, awful. Oh, I’m sorry.

Patrick Wanis:             Well, because James Franco and Anne Hathaway were not great hosts. They don’t compare to Billy Crystal. I mean, you know, when Billy Crystal came out of there, everybody went nuts because like, “Oh, we’ve missed you.”

Filippo Voltaggio:         Uh-huh.

Patrick Wanis:             We also – you also have to look at the event. Why did they choose Anne Hathaway and James Franco? Of course, they have got current movies but television right now is going for the younger demographic as much as they can because the younger demographic isn’t watching television.

Filippo Voltaggio:         Uh-huh.

Patrick Wanis:             They were going to the internet.

Filippo Voltaggio:         Uh-huh.

Patrick Wanis:             So the only way that they – that they’re saying, “How do we get the 25 to 39 age group or even the 18 to 35 age group?” So they get the younger people, you know, James Franco and Anne Hathaway. The problem is that they alienate most of their audience because they weren’t really talented.

Filippo Voltaggio:         Well actually…

Patrick Wanis:             They’re not in that position…

Filippo Voltaggio:         Right, because they are talented.

Patrick Wanis:             Yeah, but we’re talking about that talent. I mean…

Filippo Voltaggio:         Right.

Patrick Wanis:             … you’re extremely talented. Obviously, the musically, I can see the piano, but if I said, “You build me the house.” You might go, “I have no idea.” That means you’re not talented as a builder, but you might be very talented as a pianist or someone else.

Filippo Voltaggio:         Right.

Patrick Wanis:             So that was the first challenge. You mentioned something interesting about fashion and the Oscars, and you know, people make such a big thing about what is this person wearing and how much does it cost? Okay, personally, I don’t care. Having said that, you said something else that was very significant, you talked about growing up as a child and wearing certain clothes and being teased for them and then going through the same experience as an adult. Nothing that we really do has any meaning or significance except for the meaning and significance to which we give out.

Filippo Voltaggio:         Uh-huh.

Patrick Wanis:             So the jeans that are now $300 by 7 and True Religion and all these brands…

Filippo Voltaggio:         Right

Patrick Wanis:             … that have got rips and holes, it’s because the majority is saying we think that this is good.

Filippo Voltaggio:         Uh-huh.

Patrick Wanis:             And so what do we do? We fall into the majority and say it’s good because everyone else says it’s good.

Filippo Voltaggio:         Uh-huh.

Patrick Wanis:             And what we forget is the [0:12:25] [Indiscernible] in The Devil Wears Prada. Who makes the decision that this year jeans with vertical rips are hip and cool?

Filippo Voltaggio:         Uh-huh.

Patrick Wanis:             It’s some cool designer or maybe an uncool designer somewhere in a little shop saying, “I think I’m going to make this hole in here and then people are going to love the color.” And then suddenly, that’s the color you get. And it was a great – it was very well put and explained in The Devil Wears Prada when the character says, “So you chose the blue sweater from the bargain bin, and you thought that you were deciding what you’re going to wear. But you chose something that was in the bargain bin.”

Filippo Voltaggio:         Right.

Patrick Wanis:             Meaning you didn’t create it. You still had to choose from what was put in front of you.

Filippo Voltaggio:         Right.

Patrick Wanis:             So my point is, is it any different when someone says, “Oh, I’m a nonconformist. I don’t wear all these brand names.” But then when they go to a little hip store, maybe in Venice Beach or wherever they are and whatever part of the country or world they’re in, and they choose some other design. Is it any different?

Filippo Voltaggio:         It’s kind of like the girls – the young girls that used to dress like Madonna and say, “I’m expressing myself.”

Patrick Wanis:             Right. And I’m saying that there is no black and white answer to this but you need to look inside yourself and ask yourself the question, why do I wear what I wear? Who decides whether it’s cool and who cares? I truly don’t care. I mean obviously, it’s like Don Miguel Ruiz with The Four Agreements.

Filippo Voltaggio:         Uh-huh.

Patrick Wanis:             And he raises a good point. And I always look for the balance because I think in The Four Agreements, he goes to an extreme when he says, “Don’t even take anything personally and who cares what anyone else thinks?” That’s partially true, but not completely true. If I didn’t care at all about what other people think, I might have no respect for anyone else. I might not even think about the consequences of my actions. I might be disrespectful, rude, and inconsiderate. You need to find the balance. So for me, I’d say, “Oh, I don’t really care what people think.” But obviously, if someone gives me a compliment, I’m going to say, “I don’t care what you think. I’ve read Don Miguel Ruiz. I don’t need your approval.”

Filippo Voltaggio:         Uh-huh.

Patrick Wanis:             [0:14:30] [Inaudible] And I’m going to be rude instead of saying thank you very much. What if anyone says to you, “As a gift, you decide are you going to choose that gift or send it away or put it away?” So you decide what you’re going to give mean to what you’re going to give mean.

Filippo Voltaggio:         Uh-huh.

Patrick Wanis:             You know, I selected this jacket. I just bought this because…

Filippo Voltaggio:         Very nice jacket, by the way.

Patrick Wanis:             Thank you. And I…

Filippo Voltaggio:         You look Italian almost.

Patrick Wanis:             Yeah, that’s what I was thinking too…

Filippo Voltaggio:         Okay.

Patrick Wanis:             … when I put it on. And I think it’s really nice. Now if someone compliments me, I’ll accept the compliment because I want to be a good receiver.

[0:15:02]

If someone goes, “Ugh, that’s a stupid jacket. That’s really outdated. That looks like it could be in the 80s or the 90s.” I’ll go okay because I’m not attaching my value to what you’re saying about me. I don’t want to pull in the celebrity since we’re talking about celebrities.

Filippo Voltaggio:         Right.

Patrick Wanis:             Most of the interviews that are being given today were not so much about the Oscars as they were about Charlie Sheen. And it’s interesting because in a very lengthy interview, he said when someone was questioning him about his success, his present state of mind, he said, “Well, the car that I drive and the girls that I have.” What he was just telling everyone is my value is determined by the car I’m driving…

Filippo Voltaggio:         Right.

Patrick Wanis:             … and the girls that surround me.

Filippo Voltaggio:         Right.

Patrick Wanis:             My value is determined purely externally which is why he’s turning to drugs, which is why he’s completely lost because he has no inner value. I’m not saying he doesn’t have value. I’m saying he can’t find his own value.

Filippo Voltaggio:         Inside.

Patrick Wanis:             Inside. Look, we’re always affected by what’s outside of us. It’s absolutely absurd to say, “I am an enlightened being. I’m not affected by anything around me.” Well then go to another planet. Go fly away. You are affected.

Filippo Voltaggio:         Uh-huh.

Patrick Wanis:             That’s why we choose a certain furniture. We choose ionized water. We choose organic food. We choose to live in this kind of house and we want to climb the mountain because the external does affect the internal. The problem is when we let the external completely control and determine our internal. There has to be a balance.

Filippo Voltaggio:         Uh-huh.

Patrick Wanis:             How can I say when I’m sitting on top of a beautiful majestic mountain overlooking the ocean, and the sun is shining, and the water is glittering, and the sun is flapping and dancing in the water? How can I say I’m not affected by that in a positive way?

Filippo Voltaggio:         Uh-huh.

Patrick Wanis:             Of course, I am. And how can I say, as I watch children around me starving as I did in Africa – when I went to West Africa, how can I say as I see them dying from malnutrition or dying from a lack of hygiene, how can I say I’m not affected because nothing outside of me affects me?

Filippo Voltaggio:         Right.

Patrick Wanis:             It’s completely absurd. I think that what the great, what the teachers teach that is great is when you take the pearls of wisdom and you find the balance and the essence of the teaching, you don’t take it to an extreme. And that’s where so many teachers have made the mistake. And imagine what they say when we study the Law of Deservedness, the Law of Attraction…

Filippo Voltaggio:         Right.

Patrick Wanis:             … because I’d love also to talk about James Arthur Ray.

Filippo Voltaggio:         Well actually, right, but sticking to you – mentioned Charlie Sheen, so he might have been like one of those actors that maybe got teased as a child or it was something that he did not find his own value and so he was looking for, as you say, maybe outside of himself?

Patrick Wanis:             That’s a great point. Most – there are really 2 kinds, may be 3 kinds of celebrities. There’s the celebrities who set out to become a celebrity. There’s the celebrities who become a celebrity as a by-product of their art. That’s the person – like Robert De Niro who’s really primarily focused and interested in his art.

Filippo Voltaggio:         Right.

Patrick Wanis:             And then he becomes famous and that’s the by-product of his art. The third kind of celebrity is the person that sets out to get attention, not necessarily become famous or become a celebrity, but he wants attention to try and fill the inner emptiness.

Filippo Voltaggio:         Uh-huh.

Patrick Wanis:             That’s the person that could be an actor, a singer, or a dancer, a musician who had no voice and no [0:18:28] [Inaudible], who had no way of expressing themselves. A classic example, I’ve often used this one is Boy George. Now I know we’re talking about an 80’s icon who’s still around and was worshipped by Rosie O’Donnell.

Filippo Voltaggio:         [Laughs]

Patrick Wanis:             And he – the reason I’m using him is because he’s an extreme. And I could also use Michael Jackson too, but Boy George dressed up androgynously, and his makeup was over the top. You couldn’t tell if he was a boy or a girl. He said in an interview and he explained very clearly the whole reason he became a singer was because in his house, at the table, at the kitchen table, the dining table, he had no voice. He was not allowed to say anything.

Filippo Voltaggio:         Uh-huh.

Patrick Wanis:             He had no expression. So what do I do when no one’s listening? I speak louder or I do something to get more attention, or I sing, or I dress up to possibly rebel against you because you, my parents, are very strict and you’re telling me, “This is the box you must live in,” and I’m saying, “I want to smash the box.

Filippo Voltaggio:         Right.

Patrick Wanis:             I want to do what I want to do.” Again, it comes back to one of my key principles, find the balance. The balance between I have an expression, I want to share that, I want to give that versus all I want to do is rebel and say you can’t tell me how to express myself, so I’m going to paint my face different colors and dye my hair and wear different colors just to prove to you that you can’t control me, and to prove to you I’m different. But I still don’t know who I am. I don’t know what my identity is.

[0:19:56]

Charlie Sheen has had many challenges. I haven’t spoken with him and sat down with him to say, “Okay, what is it you want that you don’t yet have other than obviously inner peace?” But he definitely has anger and a rage. I mean it’s extremely obvious. He obviously has anger and rage at women because he’s hit women. He pleaded guilty to assaulting his wife, Brook Mueller.

Filippo Voltaggio:         Right.

Patrick Wanis:             That means if we’re going to be without becoming pop psychologists, but if we go back to his childhood, there’s something missing that he’s trying to get.

Filippo Voltaggio:         Uh-huh.

Patrick Wanis:             If I don’t get approval and acceptance as a child from my brothers, my sisters, my parents, my peers, I’ll spend my whole life trying to get that approval. If I get hit as a child …

Filippo Voltaggio:         Not necessarily from your parents or your peers…

Patrick Wanis:             … but from people around me…

Filippo Voltaggio:         Yeah.

Patrick Wanis:             … to try and make up for them. Another example is I’m raised as a child, I’m beaten. I’m raised with very strict parents and I’m controlled, and I’m beaten, I’m abused. I will end up in a relationship where I am beaten and abused and possibly controlled. First because it might be my twisted definition and version of love, and second because that’s what I also believe I deserve and because I don’t think I deserve anything better than that.

Filippo Voltaggio:         You know, you’re saying so much that’s so important, and interestingly, you’re giving me the other side of what I was just about to say, and that is so many people look at the celebrities as role models …

Patrick Wanis:             Yeah.

Filippo Voltaggio:         … and especially last night, this is the biggest night for Hollywood, and of course, everybody is in their best behavior and dressed to the nines, etcetera, and so many people say I want to be that or I want to look like that. I want to do that. I want to wear that. And yet you’re saying that so many of these celebrities are showing classic signs of having failed or having issues, and that actually could be a lesson to us since they’re there to look at anyway.

Patrick Wanis:             Filippo, you’ve raised so many points. I want to try and start at the top. First thing is, I think that you have to be very careful anytime you make anyone a role model. One of the things that I teach, going back again to balance, is separate the art from the artist. Separate the teacher from the message. Separate the guru from the teacher. And I personally don’t like to call people gurus. People called me guru. I don’t like that term. What I’m saying is listen for the pearls of wisdom.

Filippo Voltaggio:         Uh-huh.

Patrick Wanis:             But be careful that you don’t think that this is the oyster, that because I have a great message therefore, I’m a great person. Now I don’t want you to think that. I want you to look at me and still recognize I’m a human being. I have insecurities. I have self doubts. I make mistakes. I’m imperfect. But guess what? I have to give. My gift might be my message. Your gift might be your musical message and expression. Someone else’s gift might be their cookie. Someone else’s gift might be their words, might be their very presence. But separate the art from the artist.

Filippo Voltaggio:         Interesting.

Patrick Wanis:             With the exception, when the artist’s personal life starts destroying their art or starts endangering other people. I say that about Mel Gibson. I also, in the beginning, say that about Charlie Sheen before the violence came into. Appreciate the actor as an actor. What he does in his own personal time is his business, but once he starts committing violence or endangering other people, then it’s time to say the art is irrelevant.

Filippo Voltaggio:         Uh-huh.

Patrick Wanis:             We now have to look at you, the artist, and say, “What are you doing that’s right? What are you doing that’s wrong?” The same applies to so many of these teachers. Why do we choose – I mean I have the answer, but it’s a rhetorical question. Why do we choose to put all these teachers, the ones that we clap for half an hour, standing up because they’re on a stage, whether it’s Jack Canfield, Deepak Chopra, Janet Attwood, me, you, anyone. I’m not even putting myself in the same levels, I’m just saying why do we worship them? Don’t worship them. Don’t put them on pedestal because they’ll take themselves down or you’ll take them down.

Filippo Voltaggio:         Are you getting to James?

Patrick Wanis:             Yes. Now there’s two reasons here because this – now I’m going to tie this into the celebrity. You said, do we make celebrities role models? Well we’re doing that anyway. Even in the world of self-help and personal development, we do that all the time. We have our own celebrities. Oh, I want to get my books signed by so and so. Oh, I want to go and hear so and so speak. And we go gaga over them. Is that any different than the average person that goes gaga over celebrity? It’s not when you place them on a pedestal and you think they’re superior. The message might be superior.

Filippo Voltaggio:         Uh-huh.

Patrick Wanis:             And don’t think that every teacher is a student in their own teaching. They’re not always. The same applies to celebrities. Then you said, “Well, when you see celebrities out there Patrick, you’re telling us that they have issues.” We all have issues. If you think we don’t then that’s your issue if you think we don’t have issue. Every one of us has an issue. Every one of us has insecurity. The challenge for celebrities is if they’ve been motivated by insecurity to prove something to their parents to get their parent’s approval, they say, “Look mom, [0:25:00] I am great. I can do what I want. Look how much attention I’m getting.” And, or, being the celebrity then exaggerates and amplifies, magnifies, and exacerbates all of their problems.

Filippo Voltaggio:         Uh-huh.

Patrick Wanis:             More money makes you more of who you are. The more money you have the more you become who you really are. It won’t necessarily change you. Hollywood does make you more of who you are, and if you’re not grounded, and you don’t stay humble, and you don’t remind yourself that your primary mission is to express your gift and share your gift and make a positive difference, if you don’t constantly remind  yourself with that, you’ll think you’re a god. You’ll think you’re superior. Then you become narcissistic and entitled. I talked about that with Tiger Woods. The very first time the scandal came out about Tiger Woods having an affair with another woman, they called me on radio and they said, “Do you think he’s a sex addict?” I said, “No. Why would you even think that?” Rock stars sleep with more women in the weekend, but no one calls them a sex addict.

Filippo Voltaggio:         Uh-huh.

Patrick Wanis:             However, I said, “I bet you he stopped meditating. I bet you he lost his faith. Something has happened because this guy used to meditate everyday and that’s how he became so great at golf.” And I said, “He’s become a narcissist. He’s become entitled. He’s lost his faith. He’s lost his way and he’s become self-absorbed and self-indulgent.”

Filippo Voltaggio:         Wow.

Patrick Wanis:             What does he say in his press conference about three months later?

Filippo Voltaggio:         Uh-huh.

Patrick Wanis:             I became a narcissistic. I became entitled. I lost my way. I lost my faith. I stopped meditating and I realized that I had so much power I thought I could do whatever I want. That’s everything that I teach, what I call the fame factor, delusions of grandeur and denial, and the belief that you start to believe your own press. Your publicist tells you how great you are and you keep reading and you go yes, I am great, I’m great, I’m great, I’m great, I’m great, then you start looking down at other people and you become like Charlie Sheen and you say, “They’re all losers. I’m a winner.”

Filippo Voltaggio:         Uh-huh.

Patrick Wanis:             But underneath, he doesn’t even believe that because narcissism comes from deep deficits in your self esteem.

Filippo Voltaggio:         Why, you’re really breaking it down.

Patrick Wanis:             Thank you.

Filippo Voltaggio:         And what a gift you’re giving to people who get lost in that or want to be something and then get lost in that as well. You know, when we come back, you, I know have an answer to the celebrities that get up there and say, of course, we’ve all learned about the Law of Attraction, right? So if we think of something, we can attract it. So then, you get these celebrities that go up there and say, “Oh, I never expected this to happen.”

Patrick Wanis:             I never imagined it in my life.

Filippo Voltaggio:         Wait a minute, if you never imagined it, but I’ve been imagining it all my life, how come you have the Oscar and I don’t? So when we come back, you have a different law that you say is even more important than the law of attraction, and we’ll talk about that with Patrick Wanis when we come back.

[0:27:49 to 0:29:02] – Commercial/Advertisement.

Filippo Voltaggio:         We’re back. I’m Filippo Voltaggio with Life Changes with Filippo here on the BBS Radio Network presented by Life Changes Network, and we’re talking to Patrick Wanis, who is a celebrity life coach. He’s an author. He’s an expert in human behavior. As a matter of fact, you’ve probably heard some of his expertise coming out in great style. You can actually learn more about him at his website PatrickWanis.com. That’s Patrick, Wanis spelled W-A-N-I-S .com, and there you could also get a few of his books. He’s got several out. As a matter of fact, they’ve been read by millions of people both in English and in Spanish. You can get, Get What You Want or you can get, Get Over It, or What a Woman Wants. So it’s all there at PatrickWanis.com.

So Patrick, we started to talk about before the break, celebrities that say things like, I never expected to win. How is that the law of attraction at work?

[0:30:07]

Patrick Wanis:             It’s very interesting, and a classic example is Annette Bening, who’s a four-time Academy nominee in saying, “I never imagined my life like this. I never expected it to be this.” Then you have someone like Cam Newton, who’s a footballer, a Heisman Trophy winner, who also said the same thing, “I never expected this to happen. I never believed it possible.”

Filippo Voltaggio:         Uh-huh.

Patrick Wanis:             And then you have other people like Dianne Wiest, the famous actress who says – and I couldn’t tell if she was joking when she says this but she says, “This wasn’t the way I imagined it in my bathtub.”

Filippo Voltaggio:         [Laughs]

Patrick Wanis:             And what she’s saying is, you know and other celebrities have said it specifically, “I’ve dreamt about this day since being a child, you know, center in the bathtub, thinking, wow, collecting my Oscar.” Many of others who didn’t talk about it at all.

Here’s another classic quotation and then I’ll answer your question. Russell Crowe in 2000 won the Academy Award for Best Actor for Gladiator.

Filippo Voltaggio:         Right.

Patrick Wanis:             And in collecting the award, he gave a very short speech, spoke from his heart, spoke with humility, and he also spoke with gratitude when he said, “Growing up in the suburbs of Sydney or Auckland or anywhere in the world, a dream like this is vaguely ludicrous and completely unattainable.” He says, “But for all those,” and then he talks about but this, referring to this night, this moment, is directly connected to those childhood imaginings. And then he says, “For all of those of you who are on the down side of advantage and are utterly relying on courage, it’s possible.”

Filippo Voltaggio:         Uh-huh.

Patrick Wanis:             Now what he’s telling you is that he did imagine it. He did think, even though he says it’s ludicrous, it’s unattainable, but he had some imagining. He also tells you he depended on courage, and then he also tells that he believed it was possible, but he never focused on I want to be a star. This is where I’m leading to.

Filippo Voltaggio:         Uh-huh.

Patrick Wanis:             I teach the Law of Deservedness. The Law of Deservedness states and this is something that I’ve coined, a phrase I coined before The Secret came out actually, that you get only what you subconsciously believe you deserve and you won’t get any more, and if you do get more of your life and not enjoy it, turned to drugs like Charlie Sheen and all the others…

Filippo Voltaggio:         Uh-huh.

Patrick Wanis:             … you’ll sabotage it like Charlie Sheen and the others or you’ll push it away. Think of the women who end up in one bad relationship after another.

Filippo Voltaggio:         Does Lindsay Lohan fall in there somewhere?

Patrick Wanis:             Yes, she does, and the reason she falls in that category is because of what she experienced as a child with her relationship with her parents. Her parents were more interested in themselves than they were in her. They didn’t say, “You’re our child so we want to give to you.” They said, “You’re our child, we want to take from you.” Meaning, we’re using you as a stepping stone for us. If a child doesn’t get the basic needs, validation, acceptance, approval, recognition, a sense of belonging, praise, encouragement, guidance, direction, and discipline in boundaries, then obviously, that child is going to grow up thinking that there’s something wrong with them. Having said that, none of us have a completely perfect childhood. We understand that. But some have a more dysfunctional childhood than others. Having said that, I’ll give you this as an example to explain a bit more about the Law of Deservedness.

When parents divorce, their child or children will always blame themselves at a subconscious level, and I know this because I work with the adults who tell me about when they were children, 5, 6, 4 years of age, and they always think, “My parents divorced. It must have been my fault. My parent is leaving. They’re leaving me.” Not they’re leaving the marriage or the other person. They’re leaving me. “My parents are arguing. It must be my fault.” Because a child actually thinks that they can control mom and dad. And in fact, if mom and dad are sad or depressed or unhealthy, the child grows up with his guilt complex of I want to make my parents happy. I want my mom to be happy. I want her to be healthy. I want my father to be this. I want him to be that.

Filippo Voltaggio:         Right.

Patrick Wanis:             So adults have expectations of children but children equally have expectations of adults. And if the adults don’t, in a balanced way, teach the child that you are good enough, you deserve success, then the child is either not going to strive for success, not going to try to get success, and if they do, they won’t enjoy it or they’ll sabotage it.

Now I’m not going to the other extreme, which is the people today that say, “Oh [0:35:00] [Indiscernible] wonderful they are. How great they are.” No, don’t tell them that if they’re not great or wonderful. If their behavior is wrong and it’s disrespectful, then you correct that behavior. Correct the behavior without telling the kid that they’re bad.

Filippo Voltaggio:         Uh-huh.

Patrick Wanis:             It’s about balance.

Filippo Voltaggio:         Uh-huh.

Patrick Wanis:             You have to have boundaries. You can’t say to the kid…

Filippo Voltaggio:         So the behavior can be bad but don’t make the child …

Patrick Wanis:             See, if I say to you, “What you did was really wrong. You just hurt your sister. Look at your sister. This is what you did to your sister because when you hit her, you hurt her. What you just did was wrong. I still love you, but understand that everything you do has a consequence. You hit her, the consequence is she’s hurt. You hit her, the second consequence is time now for you in the corner, or you’re not going to get to go out, or whatever it is.”

Filippo Voltaggio:         Uh-huh.

Patrick Wanis:             So you’re teaching them also that there’s cause and effect.

Filippo Voltaggio:         Uh-huh.

Patrick Wanis:             And this is the example of Russell Crowe, cause and effect, meaning that he took action. See, one of the criticisms about Law of Attraction was that in many ways, it was promoted as fantasy, as a dream versus a vision to which you apply energy and action. I can’t sit there on the beach going, “Oh, one day, I’m going to be a great actor. I’m going to be a great actor.” And say, “Have they arrived yet? Where is the casting director? I’m here. Where’s Steven Spielberg?”

Filippo Voltaggio:         Uh-huh.

Patrick Wanis:             I have to get up off the sand. I have to go and take acting classes. Even though I’m not taking acting classes, I have to go for an audition. I have to actually walk the streets. And if someone says, like they did to [0:36:36] [Inaudible], “Would you like to audition for this part.” I have to say yes or no. I have to take action. I’m responsible for my manifestation.

The next thing is I do have to believe it’s possible. I don’t have to know how I’m going to do it, but I have to say I’m going to do it. Russell Crowe talked about courage. Courage is acting in spite of fear. That means I’m afraid, I’m doubting myself, but I’m going to do it anyway. There is no way in the world that in every moment you can have 100% self-confidence, self-assurance. How can you do that when you’ve never ridden a bike before when you were a kid? How can you do that when you were in front of a stage with 10,000 people and you’ve never been in front of a stage with 10,000 people? You are going to have abundance of self-doubt, but you’re acting in spite of fear.

Filippo Voltaggio:         Uh-huh.

Patrick Wanis:             The other thing is that you’ve got to emotionalize what you’re doing. And the final one for me, and you obviously have to visualize it too, but this is the most important one then I want to talk about this with a little more detail in a moment. What are you focused on? Are you focused on the Los Angeles motto? Hello, what can you do for me?

Filippo Voltaggio:         Uh-huh.

Patrick Wanis:             Or are you focused on how can I fulfill my potential? How can I make a positive difference in this world?

Filippo Voltaggio:         Uh-huh.

Patrick Wanis:             How can I use my gifts and talents? You see, people like Russell Crowe weren’t focusing on I want to get the award. They weren’t focusing on I want to get the accolades. They were focusing on finding the opportunity to express their art at the highest level. That’s what he was talking about when he talks about childhood imaginings. He’s not saying imagining me being a great star and walking on the stage in my wonderful flowing robes and getting awards. No. He was talking about coming from a little suburb in Sydney or Auckland, making it to Los Angeles, getting great big parts and then being recognized and respected and validated by your peers because that’s what the Oscars are.

Filippo Voltaggio:         Now how does the Law of Deservedness fit into that?

Patrick Wanis:             Well, if he’s a person that doesn’t believe he deserves the success or doesn’t think he’s good enough, he won’t take any action. He won’t even – he might put the poster up on the wall, but he’ll ignore it. He will subconsciously say, “I don’t deserve it.” You see, you can put the poster up on the wall of you having whatever it is you want, being thin or slim, or being rich.

Filippo Voltaggio:         Like a vision board, you mean?

Patrick Wanis:             A vision board.

Filippo Voltaggio:         Uh-huh.

Patrick Wanis:             And 25 years ago, it was called a treasure map.

Filippo Voltaggio:         Okay.

Patrick Wanis:             See, a lot of people think oh, this is new. No, it’s not. Thirty something years ago, I’m trying to remember the guy’s name, he was teaching it. And it was called Treasure Map, same thing. Nonetheless, you can put up on the board, but subconsciously, every time he walked past there, there’s a message that says, that’s not for you.

Filippo Voltaggio:         Uh-huh.

Patrick Wanis:             It might be your mother’s voice, your father’s voice saying, “You’re not good enough.”

Filippo Voltaggio:         Yeah, you look at it and you were saying, “Yeah, right.”

Patrick Wanis:             Or you say, “Yeah, right.” You just cancelled it out.

Filippo Voltaggio:         Yeah.

Patrick Wanis:             Now you can sit every night and go, “I am rich. I am thin. I am happy. I’m healthy.” But the emotion, you canceled that out in a second when the deeper belief that was ingrained in you from the chart says, “You don’t deserve to be thin. You don’t deserve to be happy.” Or, if you become thin, people will love you for the wrong reasons, or you get attention or you mom said, “You shouldn’t get that attention. Don’t dress like that. You’re attracting boys.” You see what I’m saying?

Filippo Voltaggio:         Uh-huh. So despite that though, people do end up getting thin or people do end up getting rich, and you’re saying if they still don’t feel they deserve it then…

[0:40:03]

Patrick Wanis:             They’ll turn to drugs. They’ll turn to drugs. They’ll turn to alcohol. They’ll turn to substance abuse then they will sabotage their own career. Charlie Sheen has so many unresolved issues. Obviously, some towards women, obviously issues with his father. Obviously, he’s tried to escape a reality and he’s trying to create a new emotion. But there’s so much stuff that he hasn’t dealt with that the success is meaningless. What did he say to you? I drive a great car. I’ve got lots of girls. Because he’s saying to you, inside I feel empty. I can’t find what I like about myself.

Filippo Voltaggio:         Uh-huh.

Patrick Wanis:             So I’m going to go to the state of delusion and I’m going to talk about having a 10,000-year-old brain and having, tiger blood, and a donor’s DNA, and you people with normal brain, you can’t understand me, you cannot process me. It’s not just the drug speaking. It’s his deeper belief. It’s the narcissism. So if you push yourself to take action, and you visualize, and you emotionalize, and you believe it’s possible, and you get it. If at a deep emotional subconscious level you don’t believe that you deserve that, that you’re not good enough to have it, or that there’s something wrong with you, or missing in you, you’ll sabotage it. You’ll push it away. That’s why women, some girls are not attracted to men that treat them well.

Filippo Voltaggio:         Uh-huh.

Patrick Wanis:             Because they believe at a deeper level, they should be treated like crap. They’ll say, “He treats me so well, but I don’t know. I’m just not attracted to him.” Then along comes the bad boy that she’s either trying to change, that she wants to mold and control, or she thinks that that’s what she deserves to be hit or treated crap or treated poorly.

So the Law of Attraction in itself isn’t enough. You have to believe that you deserve it. Now, you can also override a lot of the self-doubt and even the guilt, and the blame, and oh, I’m not good enough if you focus on how you can help other people.

Filippo Voltaggio:         Oh, interesting.

Patrick Wanis:             See, if I focus on my message, I can just – look, I have doubts. Today, I was driving to a TV interview. It was with the national morning show, the number one national TV morning show in Australia. That’s my home country. Now, would you believe this?

Filippo Voltaggio:         [Laughs]

Patrick Wanis:             I don’t get nervous when I’m on Fox News, MSNBC, or any of the biggest networks in America, but when it comes time to be on Australian television, I’m shaking in my boots.

Filippo Voltaggio:         [Laughs]

Patrick Wanis:             I’m like…

Filippo Voltaggio:         Your people are watching you.

Patrick Wanis:             And my brother says to me, “Patrick, why do you keep swallowing like that. What’s wrong with you? Don’t you drink water?” I said, “No, I’m nervous.”

Filippo Voltaggio:         You haven’t swallowed once this whole time.

Patrick Wanis:             Because I’m not nervous.

Filippo Voltaggio:         [Laughs]

Patrick Wanis:             And he says to me – and I said, “Well, that’s because I’m nervous.” He goes, “What?” I go, yeah. Because obviously, I have insecurity when it comes to being in front of my country, which means that’s triggering for me my own self-doubt. It’s not triggered here in America as much.

Filippo Voltaggio:         Uh-huh.

Patrick Wanis:             I mean, obviously, it will be, but I have to remind myself. Patrick, why are you here? Is this about you or is it about what you’re going to say?

Filippo Voltaggio:         Uh-huh.

Patrick Wanis:             See, I don’t ever, ever, ever get nervous when I’m doing therapy ever. You can put the hottest case in front of me and I’ll never get nervous because that is the only moment that I believe I’m in my purest state. I’m not thinking about me at all. I’m not thinking, will he like me? Will he approve of me? Will he accept me? Will he want to work with me again? Will this work? I get into, you know, what they typically call the zone which simply means I relax, and I listen, and I’m right there. I’m feeling everything he’s saying. I’m sensing. I’m even visualizing some of the things that person’s visualizing. I’m connected.

Filippo Voltaggio:         I’m so right here with you that I haven’t been thinking about myself or the fact that we’re supposed to be breaking for our commercial. So hold that thought. We’ll have a few minutes to recap at the end here after this.

[0:43:52 to 0:44:44] – Commercial/Advertisement.

Recording:                  You are listening to Life Changes with Filippo on the BBS Radio Network with our host, Filippo Voltaggio. You can hear tonight’s show and all our past shows which include luminaries such as David Wilcock, Mariel Hemingway, Giorgio Tsoukalos, Marci Shimoff, and Shadoe Stevens on our archive page at our website at LifeChangesWithFilippo.com.

[0:45:06]

That’s Filippo, F-I-L-I-P-P-O dot com. Remember, you can also connect with us via Twitter and Facebook, and now in our own community at LifeChangesNetwork.com where real people come together to share real life in real time. That’s LifeChangesNetwork.com.

Filippo Voltaggio:         And we’re back. I’m Filippo Voltaggio and we’re talking to Patrick Wanis. Again, I want to remind you that you can go to PatrickWanis.com. That’s W-A-N-I-S dot com to learn more about Patrick, and also to see his videos in which he’s on television talking about other celebrities. And one of the things I like is that you’re not putting them down. You are using them as examples, or you are actually giving advice to them on camera, and hopefully, they’re listening. There is one person that you mentioned that we wanted to touch on, and since he has been so important to the…

Patrick Wanis:             Self-help?

Filippo Voltaggio:         Yes, self-help, and to the Law of Attraction and all that stuff, I want to make sure that we touch on James.

Patrick Wanis:             James Arthur Ray.

Filippo Voltaggio:         James Arthur Ray.

Patrick Wanis:             He was on The Secret. And this is really – this is a classic example because you say, “Well, Law of Attraction, if Law of Attraction is the only thing necessary, how did James Arthur Ray attract into his world, into his reality three deaths, sickness, lawsuits, loss of money, loss of credibility? How did he do that? Did he have a vision board that say everyday, “I’m going to attract murders. People are going to die around me. I’m going to be sued. I’m not going to end up in jail.” Did he do that? And then you have to ask yourself another question. What about stalkers? Stalkers have pictures of say, Julia Roberts. If it’s a stalker who’s stalking Julia Roberts, the whole world is full of Julia Roberts. The person has watched every film. They know every line. They visualize. They fantasize every day, every moment about that person but they don’t end up having a relationship with them. So is it just about visualizing?

In the case of James Arthur Ray, a part of it is our fault because we made him a guru. It goes back to what I said in the beginning. Don’t make anyone a guru. Listen to the message. The second challenge is that I personally feel, my opinion, is that James Arthur Ray got caught up in the hype because a lot of people who market to the self-help personal development audience want to say that they’ve got something that no one else knows. I have the secret. They love the word the secret not just for the film and the book but for everything. He talked about I went to – I climbed Peru or wherever he went out. I don’t know where he went, [0:47:40] [Inaudible]. He climbed somewhere in spring. He’s meditating on the rain, connecting with the gods, going back in time, and I have a message that no one else has. No, you don’t because we don’t need to learn anything new. We need to unlearn everything we’re being taught.

Most of what we’ve been taught is lies. We come into pure state. Do we need to learn much else? We need to learn how to talk and walk to connect and communicate. But really, we need to unlearn all the lies that are being taught to us about our own limitations rather than our own potential. I think James Arthur Ray got caught up in believing his own hype just like other celebrities do.

Filippo Voltaggio:         Uh-huh.

Patrick Wanis:             Like celebrities do. And I think that what happened for him was he started believing that he was a god. And I’m not a god. You know, we might talk about there is a divinity within us. There is a spark. Yes. But when you start to promote yourself as a god, you’re saying, “I’m superior to you,” that’s not acknowledging the divinity in you, or the divinity in me, or that we’re all creations of a god or a higher power.

Filippo Voltaggio:         So what happened to him was what? A retaliation of the gods?

Patrick Wanis:             No, no, no, not at all. I’m saying that you create your own reality via your actions, via your thoughts, via your emotions. If you are thinking primarily about greed, I’m going to charge these people $10,000 when I could be charging them a couple of thousand. I could be offering it as gifts because I’ve already got money. He had a nice $5 million home in Beverly Hills. Did he have to have that? I’m not saying that he can’t have it, but look at the whole picture.

Then the next thing is, am I going start to believe that I’m superior, that I have all this knowledge. And then, what are his other thoughts? What is his background as a child? I don’t know.

Filippo Voltaggio:         Right.

Patrick Wanis:             Is there a part of him that feels, I don’t deserve to have this success, maybe I’m an impostor because that’s the other thing that most celebrities experience, the subconscious belief. All question. I’m an impostor.

Filippo Voltaggio:         Which goes right back to I don’t deserve this.

Patrick Wanis:             Yes, do I deserve it? Am I good enough? I ask this myself sometimes. When I’m on TV, I go, am I an impostor? I think it’s okay to ask that question if it keeps you humble. Humble isn’t about saying I don’t deserve anything.

Filippo Voltaggio:         Right.

Patrick Wanis:             It’s about gratitude. Humility is connected to gratitude. Humility is I’m grateful for this gift you’ve given me. I’m grateful for this opportunity to be on TV.

[0:50:01]

I’m grateful to be here tonight to share my message with people. That’s what keeps me humble. But when I say, “You’re lucky to have me here,” then I’ve gone past that. I’ve gone to a whole different level. So there are – quickly, there are many people in the Oscars who expressed humility and gratitude. Natalie Portman thanked every single person she worked with; her hairstylist, the person who did her nails, the person who cooked her food, her family, everyone. But it didn’t come from a place of I’m not deserving. It came from a place with humility and gratitude. Tom Hanks, when he won the award for Philadelphia said, “I shouldn’t be here, but I am here because of the union of all these great people around me, the filmmakers.” He was expressing humility. He was also saying, “You know what? I’m not that great. Yes, I have a gift, but I’m not that great. Without these people, I’d be one person.”

Filippo Voltaggio:         And this would have been a better show last night if we had seen a lot more of that, but I don’t know that we saw a lot of that actually.

Patrick Wanis:             No, we didn’t. Natalie Portman was one example. I think Colin Firth is also very humble in the way that he expressed himself.

Filippo Voltaggio:         Right.

Patrick Wanis:             I mean he said very eloquently when he basically said, “Look, I’m going to wet myself I’m so excited.

Filippo Voltaggio:         [Laughs]

Patrick Wanis:             You know, my legs are going crazy.”

Filippo Voltaggio:         Right.

Patrick Wanis:             But he said it eloquently. And then you have the people that want to get up there and tell the world how great they are, or Christian Bale, I’m very confused about because every time he gets an award, he tries to tell everyone, “You’re all so amazing. I really don’t deserve to be here.” I can’t work out if it’s coming from sincerity, insecurity, or something else.

Filippo Voltaggio:         Well, I don’t know about that.

Patrick Wanis:             Better leave that forward. It’s not relevant. It’s just a question because I’d like to analyze things as you can see.

Filippo Voltaggio:         As I can tell, and I can’t wait to have you back on the show. We could analyze other things.

Patrick Wanis:             Thank you.

FIlippo Voltaggio:        In the meantime, we’ve covered a lot of grounds. Thank you for helping wrap up the Oscars for us, the celebrities, and sharing with us the Law of Deservedness.

Patrick Wanis:             Thank you.

Filippo Voltaggio:         Patrick Wanis, thank you.

Patrick Wanis:             Thank you.

Filippo Voltaggio:         Well, what a great time to have Patrick on the show because this helped me understand more of what I like about the Oscars, what I don’t like about the Oscars, what I think there should be more of, what I think there should be less of.

Unknown Male:           I think that the points that you touched down at the end are some of the most amazing to me. That there seems to be more of a bifurcation between those that are there to move themselves up the ladder, and those that you can truly tell they’re to share the experience that will move other people.

Filippo Voltaggio:         Yeah, I liked that. That was interesting when it’s not about them.

Unknown Male:           Yeah, which I don’t think there’s enough of, and that’s certainly not just Hollywood. That’s what’s there.

Filippo Voltaggio:         Yeah. Actually, this applies to though they’re not on television worldwide being seen, but CEOs and presidents and managers and all kinds of people.

Unknown Male:           Yeah, very much. I think that this leads over in every aspect of life and largely why we’re on the radio, which is we’re battered into an age of authenticity.

Filippo Voltaggio:         Uh-huh.

Unknown Male:           Right? People standing in their truth, and more importantly, I think people are listening or hearing or with conscience, experience any of their feeling at different levels. They’re seeing through the BS, if you will, right? They’re not tolerating just the stories or the package that people have made for themselves of or what they’re bringing forward. They’re seeing through that to the integrity of where they’re coming from.

Filippo Voltaggio:         And actually, this is interesting because it brings me back to the point that I made at the beginning of the show about a world leader who might have gotten into himself, or his own power, or his own belief like Gadhafi, or you know, these others ones that are falling or the ones that have fallen. People are starting to say, “Oh, come on. Get over yourself.”

Unknown Male:           Well, yeah. And you’re seeing the difference, you know, with the Egyptian movement versus what’s going on at Libya, the depths of someone’s attachment to their ego or position, and their denial of what’s truly going on around them, you know, that separation, going out Libya is obviously a much, much harder road. That’s because the depths of attachment there is much greater whereas there was a willingness to move out of the way for the people in other areas.

Filippo Voltaggio:         Uh-huh. And so I wonder because we’ve been talking about celebrities, I wonder how that’s going to change if – is it going to be the people saying, “Oh come on, get over yourself. You know, you’re not all that, you know. You’re just good at what you do.” Are the people going to realize that or…

Unknown Male:           I think it’s going to be a natural reaction. I think people have already started. If you watch the reactions to what’s going on with Charlie Sheen, because, you know, what we’ve been talking about, because he’s on top of that life. There’s a natural outpouring of response now whereas before, people would find things humorous or kind of write it off as kind of just the way certain people are. People are putting – they’re not tolerating it anymore or they’re calling the troops out a little bit more. There are people seem to be much more vocal about it where people are coming from, where celebrities are coming from.

[0:55:00]

Filippo Voltaggio:         Uh-huh.

Unknown Male:           What their reactions are, and whether or not considering the people around them. I think that was a big thing in this episode with Charlie Sheen from my perspective was how little there was concern for the people around him from his camp, but yet, those watching from the outside in were really concerned about everybody else involved in the show, and his whole team, and you know, the effect and how that was rippling way beyond just his micro cap.

Filippo Voltaggio:         Yeah, because ultimately, an actor is an actor, yes, and they are playing a role, but their biggest role is that of themselves and where they go. There they are, and though they could portray something else, which is great, underlying, there is who they truly are.

Unknown Male:           An age of authenticity. So it’s an interesting time, and you know, everybody is adjusting to levels of truth in their own life, and you know, show time changed a bit. So the truth is starting to rise in the front. I mean the production value is now matched by people’s ability to kind of see past some of that. It’s interesting.

Filippo Voltaggio:         Yeah, actually – and you know what? It’s not just celebrities or as we said, CEOs or managers, right? It’s amongst ourselves as well. We don’t take as much from some of our friends or from some of our, you know, our coworkers. It’s like, you know, come on, you know. Let’s get past this. Let’s – get over yourself.

Unknown Male:           Yeah, exactly. Not taking much from them and not allowing them to dish out too much on ourselves. You know, we’re going back to that some of what you were talking about before the self-loathing or people kind of falling apart along the way. There’s a lot of this inability to just really cut to the truth and stand up for yourself a little bit more whether it’s in your own life, or whether it’s for your country, and you know, this fight for freedom. I think it’s kind of pervasive.

Filippo Voltaggio:         That takes me back to the beginning of the show. I could have been standing up as a child saying, “I have holes in my shoes and holes in my jeans, and I am proud. “And right now, I don’t have holes in my shoes and don’t have holes in my jeans, and I am still proud. And with that, I would like to say I am Filippo Voltaggio, and I am proud to have been of service by hosting Life Changes with Filippo Today. I, along with our producer, Mark Laisure, and our producer, Dorothy Lee Donahue, and our engineer, Seth Hendricks, thank you for being part of this show, being part of this world, and being part of the change we all wish to see in this world. Ciao everyone.

Recording:                  You have been listening to Life Changes with Filippo with the master of change, Filippo Voltaggio. Listen live every Monday night at 7PM Pacific Standard Time on the BBS Radio Network and visit us online at LifeChangesWithFilippo.com, that’s Filippo, F-I-L-I-P-P-O. Today’s show has been made possible in part by our sponsors, Kangen Water Systems, change your water, change your life, and Love and Miracles with Dorothy Lee Donahue. To learn more about them, visit the sponsor page of our website.

Once again, join us here next week as we consciously explore and embrace the only constant, life changes.

[0:58:17] [End of Audio]

Is Chris Brown right?

“The media continues to hound Chris Brown for assaulting Rihanna while Charlie Sheen still remains the golden boy even though he, too, assaulted a woman, pleading guilty to assaulting his wife Brooke Mueller” says Human Behavior Expert and Celebrity Life Coach Patrick Wanis PhD. Rolling Stone magazine in April 2011 issue refers to Charlie Sheen as being American as pie; Nancy Grace on CNN attacks NFL hall of famer, Lawrence Taylor for admitting in 2004 to often using 6 prostitutes a day but did she offer the same criticism to Charlie Sheen for the same behavior? Is racism an element in the different treatment by the media towards Brown and Sheen? Does the media give free passes to misogynists as long as they are rich and powerful; Lawrence Taylor, who was sentenced to six years’ probation after pleading guilty to sexual misconduct and patronizing an underage prostitute, openly and unashamedly said on FOX News with Sheppard Smith that he uses prostitutes because he doesn’t want to deal with women’s feelings and emotions.

Jim Peake of MySuccessGateway.com interviews Human Behavior Expert Patrick Wanis PhD about our biases towards celebrities and violence against women, and why we give Charlie Sheen a free pass while being tough on Chris Brown. Patrick Wanis PhD also reveals that we are sold and persuaded by people who are passionate and arrogant in their conviction. Wanis also says that Chris Brown was completely wrong in his response to the interview but also questions why Robin Roberts touched Brown on his knee during the interview – a body language sign of condescension, authority or over familiarity on the part of Robin Roberts towards Chris Brown.

Click here to listen to the interview: http://patrickwanis.com/Chris-Brown-Charlie-Sheen-Lawrence-Taylor-racism-misogyny.asp

Published March 03, 2011

| FoxNews.com