“The deaths of three people and the trial of The Secret’s New Age Guru, James Arthur Ray, is an example of the dangers of creating gurus” warns Los Angeles based therapist and Human Behavior Expert, Patrick Wanis PhD.

“When you create a guru you become a worshiper of the person rather than a student of the message, and this, in turn, can lead to a cult or a situation where you give away your power or control such as the case with James Ray and the sweat lodge deaths or the Jonestown Massacre from 33 years ago when 909 Americans were led to their death by the Rev. Jim Jones in a mass murder-suicide pact” says Dr. Wanis.  Prosecutors in the James Ray trial claim that Ray piled dozens of people into a hot, poorly ventilated sweat tent and then discouraged them from leaving.

“Contrary to public opinion, it’s not only the weak-minded people that get drawn into a cult or get brainwashed” warns Dr. Wanis. “Anyone experiencing a vulnerable phase in their life can fall victim to a cult or a guru. Maybe you have been conned in the past and wondered: ‘How could I have been so stupid? How could I have been conned like that?’ Humans have emotional needs such as significance, attention, a safe, secure environment to mature and develop; an emotional connection to other people; acceptance, a connection to the wider community, and meaning & purpose. When these needs are not met or if we feel lost, are searching for meaning or an answer, we become highly vulnerable, and then when along comes someone who claims, ‘I can help you. I can give you what you need’, he appeals to our missing needs and it’s very easy to persuade us or brainwash us. Our grave mistake is that we too often look for someone else to solve our problems. We don’t just look for hope; we look to a God-like kind of person – the person that has the secret to what we need” says Dr. Wanis.

“We need to remember that when we create gurus we also falsely believe that they are perfect and God-like, but no one is perfect:

1.    Anthony Robbins, one of the world’s greatest speakers and motivators, has taught relationship courses but has been married twice

2.    Billy Graham, the Evangelist, number seven on Gallup’s list of admired people for the 21st century, apologized for anti-Semitic comments decades after it was revealed he called the Jews, ‘the synagogue of Satan’

3.    James Ray, NY Times bestselling author, a teacher in “The Secret” who promotes the Law of Attraction and claims he can teach you to ‘Create Harmonic Wealth in all areas of your life’ is now on trial for three counts of manslaughter

According to Wanis there are five key things we can each learn from the tragic sweat lodge deaths and from James Ray:

1.    Don’t fall in love with the person or their image

2.    Fall in love with the message but always question the message and keep seeking the truth

3.    Beware of people who make outrageous claims such as ‘I have the Secret’ or I can solve all of your problems

4.    You can learn from everyone; anyone can be your teacher if you look for the lesson

5.    Beware of giving your power away to anyone; don’t let anyone decide for you how you will feel today or what you should do

Read the transcript of the full interview Patrick Wanis PhD gives to Jim Peake of MySuccessGateway.com “Beware of gurus” here: http://patrickwanis.com/blog/index.php/2009/10/24/beware-of-gurus-the-interview/

Or

To listen to the audio interview “Beware of gurus” click here: http://patrickwanis.com/Beware_of_Gurus.asp

**** Originally from Australia, Patrick Wanis PhD, is a Celebrity Life-Coach, Author, Expert in Human Behavior & Relationships and creator of SRTT Therapy with a PhD in Health Psychology. Wanis has appeared on FOX News, MSNBC, Extra, the Montel Williams Show, Mike and Juliet, Cosmo, Rolling Stone, InTouch Weekly, Women’s Health, Dating on Demand, E! TV, Vh1, CNN.com, MSN.com, Date.com, Matchmaker.com, NY Daily Mail, NY Post, Vogue Australia, FHM, etc. WGN Chicago and Syndicated TV show, “The Daily Buzz” anointed him “The Woman Expert” and FOX News pronounced him “A voice for women.” CNN.com turned to Wanis for expert insights and analysis when Michael Jackson died. Over five million people have read Wanis’ books in English and Spanish. www.patrickwanis.com

What does the acceptance speech reveal about the Oscar winner and actor?

“It’s only 45 seconds but the overwhelming gush of emotions of winning an Oscar can strip the actor of all facades and thus reveal his or her real off-screen personality, dreams and insecurities” says Human Behavior Expert and Celebrity Life Coach, Patrick Wanis PhD.

“Julia Roberts in 2000 broke out with laughter while Halle Berry in 2001 broke down with tears” says Wanis. “Dianne Wiest in 1987 revealed she had spent many a night, in the bathtub, since childhood dreaming about winning an Oscar, while Sally Field revealed her deep insecurity and real desire for approval with the now infamous quote from 1985: ‘I’ve wanted more than anything to have your respect. The first time I didn’t feel it, but this time I feel it, and I can’t deny the fact that you like me, right now, you like me!’ ”

Dr. Wanis says that “As close to a billion people tune in to watch the 83rd Academy Awards, emotion, ego, having an agenda or speaking without a script can lead to humor, pathos, histrionics, self-indulgence, narcissism or overflowing elation such as Cuba Gooding Jr who shouted to the world in 1997, ‘Everybody, I love you. I love you all.’”

“Some actors express servitude and gratitude – saying they never thought about the award and don’t even deserve it. In 1993, Tom Hanks – accepting the Academy Award for best actor for Philadelphia said: ‘I know also that I should not be here but I am because of the union of such filmmakers as…’ And occasionally, we gain insight into the way that the movie role transformed or affected the lead actor, such as Tom Hanks who spoke deeply about the acceptance of gays after playing an attorney fired for being homosexual in the film Philadelphia” explains Wanis.

“The actors that stand out and expose themselves in a new light, remain articulate, pensive, humble and openly express how lucky they are to be here – like Russell Crowe (accepting the Academy Award in 2000 for best actor – Gladiator) who reveals that for him it took lots of courage to act and succeed in spite of all odds: ‘When you grow up in the suburbs of Sydney or Auckland or the suburbs of anywhere, a dream like this seems vaguely ludicrous or completely unattainable, but this moment is directly connected to those childhood imaginings, and for anybody who is on the downside of advantage, and relying purely on courage, it is possible’ ” says Wanis.

Get the post Oscars’ wrap and revelations and insights into the language, messages and motivations behind the acceptance speeches of the stars from the expert, Human Behavior Expert, Dr. Patrick Wanis.

**** Originally from Australia, Patrick Wanis PhD, is a Celebrity Life-Coach, Author, Expert in Human Behavior and Relationships and creator of SRTT Therapy with a PhD in Health Psychology. Wanis has appeared on FOX News, MSNBC, Extra, the Montel Williams Show, Mike and Juliet, Cosmo, Rolling Stone, InTouch Weekly, Women’s Health, Dating on Demand, E! TV, Vh1, CNN.com, MSN.com, Date.com, Matchmaker.com, NY Daily Mail, NY Post, Vogue Australia, FHM, etc. WGN Chicago and Syndicated TV show, “The Daily Buzz” anointed him “The Woman Expert” and FOX News pronounced him “A voice for women.” CNN.com turned to Wanis for expert insights and analysis when Michael Jackson died. Over five million people have read Wanis’ books in English and Spanish. www.patrickwanis.com

“Charlie Sheen – beating a woman? Okay. Insulting your boss? No way! That’s the inconsistency and hypocrisy of Hollywood” says one therapist and human behavior expert after CBS and Warner Bros. today shut down ‘Two and a Half Men’ following Sheen’s public insults on radio against his boss Chuck Lorre.

“Hollywood cares more about racist remarks than it does about actual violence against women – although both are seriously wrong” says Los Angeles -based Human Behavior & Relationship Expert, Patrick Wanis PhD.  “CBS executives turned a blind eye and ignored the fact that Charlie Sheen pleaded to guilty to abusing his wife Christmas day last year but when he verbally attacked Two and a Half Men co-creator Chuck Lorre, CBS and Warner Bros. execs cancelled the show for the rest of the season – and this reveals that Hollywood doesn’t care about violence against women” says Dr. Wanis.

Charlie Sheen told a radio show today that Chuck Lorre is a “clown,” a “stupid, stupid little man”, and added that he “violently hates” Lorre; Sheen also made an anti-semitic remark by twice referring to Lorre with a name that sounds like “Haim Levine” (Lorre was born Charles Michael Levine.) Wanis says Hollywood sends the message to men that it’s okay to hit a woman, be a misogynist, do drugs, use prostitutes and be an irresponsible father and role model, but, you cross the line when you insult your boss or make even a partial racial slur” reveals Wanis.

“Hollywood execs potentially shirk their responsibility when they fail to protect underage actors on the show (such as Angus Turner Jones who plays Jake Harper) from the bad-boy ways and poor role-model example of Charlie Sheen – they should have fired him the instant he hit a woman or used illegal drugs; execs acted much too late – Angus Turner Jones, who is at such a vulnerable and impressionable age and stage, has probably already been damaged” says Dr. Wanis.

“Sheen’s public and deliberate tirade also reflects his ego, arrogance, entitlement, narcissism and deep-seated anger” says Dr. Wanis.  “Charlie Sheen is now learning that even a Hollywood superstar is not invincible nor is he indispensable; and while Sheen seems okay with throwing away 9.5 million dollars – what would have been his salary for the remaining 8 canceled episodes, Sheen selfishly ignored the fact that many other people involved in the  production of the show have also lost money. Charlie Sheen needs to learn that he is not the center of the universe and the world does not revolve around him” concludes Dr. Wanis.

Watch Patrick Wanis PhD in the TV interview revealing the dangerous mistakes Billy Ray Cyrus made as a parent with daughter Miley Cyrus – www.patrickwanis.com

**** Originally from Australia, Patrick Wanis PhD, is a Celebrity Life-Coach, Author, Expert in Human Behavior and Relationships and a Clinical Hypnotherapist with a PhD in Health Psychology. Wanis has appeared on FOX News, MSNBC, Extra, the Montel Williams Show, Mike and Juliet, Cosmo, Rolling Stone, InTouch Weekly, Women’s Health, Dating on Demand, E! TV, Vh1, CNN.com, MSN.com, Date.com, Matchmaker.com, NY Daily Mail, NY Post, Vogue Australia, FHM, etc. WGN Chicago and Syndicated TV show, “The Daily Buzz” anointed him “The Woman Expert” and FOX News pronounced him “A voice for women.” CNN.com turned to Wanis for expert insights and analysis when Michael Jackson died. Over five million people have read Wanis’ books in English and Spanish. www.patrickwanis.com

Have you ever received a gift on Valentine’s Day that was insulting?  What about if on Valentine’s Day, we could take back some of the gifts we have given throughout the year?

“Everything we do and say to our partner is a gift – sometimes it’s a valuable gift and sometimes it’s a horrible or damaging gift” says Los Angeles based Celebrity Life Coach and Human Behavior & Relationship Expert Patrick Wanis PhD. We asked Dr. Wanis “What gift can a woman get for the man who has everything?” Dr. Wanis responded by identifying the 5 gifts that women should take back on Valentine’s Day:

5. Under appreciating:
One of the biggest complaints from men is that their partner does not appreciate him and rarely says thank you.
Tip: Look for the things you can be grateful about in your partner and express it. Men need to feel needed
Real gift: Say thank you.

4. Labeling:
A man forgets to buy milk or wine or cheese when coming home and the wife labels him “a jerk” or irresponsible.
Tip: Talk about the action but don’t label him otherwise he will rebel and become resentful and will start to act like the label you gave him.
Real gift:  Respect.  Remember:  the action doesn’t make the person.

3. Constantly criticizing:
Criticizing anyone on a constant basis only leads to resentment, low self-esteem, bitterness and a very unsatisfying relationship for both partners.
Tip: determine what needs addressing and talk about the action, offer a solution and look for the things he does that you can praise
Real gift:  Be kind.  Criticism leads to resentment.

2. Trying to change him: .
You are not his mother. Stop trying to mother the man by nurturing him to what you want him to be; stop looking at a man and saying “Wow, he would look so good in those pants; I’ll buy them for him and make him wear them.”
Tip: Accept that men don’t like to change, don’t want to change, don’t believe the need to change and they only change when they really have to do so.
Real gift:  Acceptance.  Men don’t want to change.

1. Falling in love with his potential:
Women fall in love with a man’s potential, hoping and expecting that he will blossom into something extraordinary but this only sets up the woman for major disappointment and sends the message to the man that he is not good enough, thus destroying the love and romance in the relationship.
Tip: Love the man for what he is now and not what you think he might one day be, for he may choose to never be that.
Real gift: Love unconditionally. Very few people live up to their full potential.

“The best gift to give your partner, whether you are a man or a woman, is to express gratitude and show appreciation to them and describe the beauty you see in them. And one last tip for men for Valentine’s Day – do the chores around the house and watch how she responds ” concludes Dr. Wanis.

Click here to read the full article by Patrick Wanis PhD:

**** Originally from Australia, Patrick Wanis PhD, is a Celebrity Life-Coach, Author, Expert in Human Behavior and Relationships and a Clinical Hypnotherapist with a PhD in Health Psychology. Wanis has appeared on FOX News, MSNBC, Extra, the Montel Williams Show, Mike and Juliet, Cosmo, Rolling Stone, InTouch Weekly, Women’s Health, Dating on Demand, E! TV, Vh1, CNN.com, MSN.com, Date.com, Matchmaker.com, NY Daily Mail, NY Post, Vogue Australia, FHM, etc. WGN Chicago and Syndicated TV show, “The Daily Buzz” anointed him “The Woman Expert” and FOX News pronounced him “A voice for women.” CNN.com turned to Wanis for expert insights and analysis when Michael Jackson died. Over five million people have read Wanis’ books in English and Spanish. www.patrickwanis.com

On Valentine’s Day, we long to spend time with the person who has captured our heart, hoping that he or she will demonstrate and prove to us the depth of their love. So how should Hollywood’s worst lovers be spending their Valentine’s Day?

We turned to Los Angeles based Celebrity Life Coach and Human Behavior & Relationship Expert Patrick Wanis PhD for his insights and analysis into the top 5 worst celebrity lovers and what they should do on the most romantic day of the year. Here is his advice and suggestions:

5. Camille Grammer: Should spend the day with herself since Camille seems to only love herself By being alone on Valentine’s Day, Camille might bring about a few awakenings and insights into who she really is and she might even begin to find authentic self-love. Camille has failed in getting sympathy from the public in spite of husband Kelsey Grammer’s announcement that he is dumping her for yet another younger woman. In attempts to ensure she gets a generous amount of money from Kelsey for their divorce settlement; Camille has now backed away from her former claims that Kelsey is a cross-dresser. A day alone on Valentine’s Day might be just what Camille needs to also learn that constantly being on TV isn’t always in the best interests of your children, your marriage or your divorce settlement.

4. Jesse James: If you believe that you are so hated, then seek redemption by spending Valentine’s Day doing charity work Jesse James cheated on his former wife Sandra Bullock multiple times over 11 months and then he cried to the world on ABC television “I am the most hated man in the world” which, of course, reflects a grandiose and overly inflated sense of self. Time to put other people first and achieve fulfillment by helping other needy people.

3. Heidi Montag & Spencer Pratt: Spend Valentine’s Day with Spencer working on a budget and spend more wisely Heidi and Spencer staged a fake divorce last year in the hopes of raising some extra cash to splash after they blew $10 million on a lavish lifestyle and plastic surgery. Unfortunately Heidi has been swallowed up by the Hollywood pit and unable to find her real self and real value, she has fake breasts, a fake divorce and even renewed her wedding vows calling her first wedding fake!

2. Charlie Sheen: Spend the day reflecting The bad boy doesn’t realize that he’s not an adolescent anymore and that he has a serious problem and it’s not just the desire to party all night with escorts or porn actresses; Charlie has a problem with misogyny. The best way for Charlie Sheen to spend Valentine’s day is to focus on love – forgiving himself and forgiving that one woman with whom he is still angry at and which causes him to project that anger by assaulting a woman (his ex-wife Brooke Mueller) or trashing a hotel.

1. Mel Gibson & Oksana: Should spend Valentine’s Day apart.  Mel should spend his day with his children and ex-wife and teach others that loving the bottle doesn’t succeed because it eventually leaves one empty Mel Gibson and ex-girlfriend Oksana bring out the worst in each other so it is good that they are apart – particularly on Valentine’s Day. Oksana is hoping to catch Mel Gibson’s wallet rather than his heart as she continues to battle him in court for more money. She would be best served spending Valentine’s Day pondering what real love is and recognizing that love of money doesn’t equal happiness and never compensates for self-loathing, greed or revenge.

And what are the chances of any of the above suggestions actually occurring? “Sadly, it would be a real surprise and shock if any of these celebrities would actually spend the day of love exploring real self-love versus narcissistic love” concludes Dr. Wanis.

Watch Patrick Wanis PhD on FOX NEWS with his Top 10 Celebrity Meltdowns of 2010 www.patrickwanis.com

(Read more about this topic on PopEater.com in the article by Catherine Donaldson-Evans -

Valentine’s Advice for Hollywood’s ‘Worst Lovers’:
http://www.popeater.com/2011/02/14/valentines-day-advice-for-hollywood-worst-lovers/

***** Originally from Australia, Patrick Wanis PhD, is a Celebrity Life-Coach, Author, Expert in Human Behavior and Relationships and a Clinical Hypnotherapist with a PhD in Health Psychology. Wanis has appeared on FOX News, MSNBC, Extra, the Montel Williams Show, Mike and Juliet, Cosmo, Rolling Stone, InTouch Weekly, Women’s Health, Dating on Demand, E! TV, Vh1, CNN.com, Date.com, Matchmaker.com, NY Daily Mail, NY Post, Vogue Australia, FHM, etc. WGN Chicago and Syndicated TV show, “The Daily Buzz” anointed him “The Woman Expert” and FOX News pronounced him “A voice for women.” Over five million people have read Wanis’ books in English and Spanish. www.patrickwanis.com

Cheating. Athletes, actors, politicians and pastors do it – a NJ pastor admitted to a three way affair; even famous women do it – Princess Diana cheated and Farrah Fawcett kept it a secret for 11 years. But cheating is not limited by gender according to one expert who says women cheat for distinctly different reasons than men.

“For men, cheating is often first about power and temptation, but for women, cheating is about feeling neglected, unloved and even ugly” says Human Behavior & Relationship Expert Patrick Wanis PhD – author of “Get over it – breakups, betrayals and rejection.” “As was the case with Princess Diana who admitted an affair with her riding instructor, James Hewitt, women cheat when they feel invisible and their needs aren’t met. When another man enters her life and gives her the attention, listens to her and makes her feel alive, treasured and special, she will give in and have an affair.”

Why do men cheat?

According to Dr. Wanis, “Men are motivated by power, opportunity, narcissism, desire for instant gratification, lack of discipline & self-control, false sense of invincibility, delusions of grandeur, corroding relationships and lack of sex within the relationship. As soon as men get in power, they believe the rules no longer apply to them – Tiger Woods, John Edwards, Elliot Spitzer, Governor Mark Sanford and ahthletes such as Tony Parker, husband of Eva Longoria.”

Why do women cheat?

Dr. Wanis, who is also the exclusive relationship expert to the movie “The Putt Putt Syndrome” (a movie about a married woman who cheats on her husband), reveals that “Today’s marriages are often ripe for women to cheat: the man is in mid-life crisis and the woman is disillusioned by a one-minute romp, feeling lonely, isolated and neglected by her husband who is lost in his work while she is lost in the children and maybe her own career. Gone is the romance and excitement and they have become roommates – the woman feels invisible, she’s not being heard, and with plenty of opportunity and temptation around her, she seeks to have her needs met elsewhere…cheating occurs”

Dr. Wanis also offers clear tips and strategies for men and women to avoid cheating, affairs and betrayal. Read his article, “Why women cheat” http://patrickwanis.com/blog/index.php/2010/02/17/why-women-cheat-2/

Is Facebook to blame?

A New Jersey pastor tried to ban Facebook for married people in his church saying it can lead to infidelity by rekindling old flames but The Rev. Cedric Miller admitted to three and four-way affairs before Facebook even existed. Dr. Wanis says “There are, though, real dangers to reconnecting with your ex on Facebook as he or she may want more than friendship, might be stuck in the past or may simply be jealous and bitter and may secretly want to sabotage your marriage.” Watch the TV interview Dr. Wanis gives about the dangers of reconnecting with your ex on Facebook: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TqOqdvaikjA (Part 1)

***** Originally from Australia, Patrick Wanis PhD, is a Celebrity Life-Coach, Author, Expert in Human Behavior and Relationships and a Clinical Hypnotherapist with a PhD in Health Psychology. Wanis has appeared on FOX News, MSNBC, Extra, the Montel Williams Show, Mike and Juliet, Cosmo, Rolling Stone, InTouch Weekly, Women’s Health, Dating on Demand, E! TV, Vh1, CNN.com, Date.com, Matchmaker.com, NY Daily Mail, NY Post, Vogue Australia, FHM, etc. Wanis is the first person ever to do Clinical Hypnotherapy on national television. WGN Chicago and Syndicated TV show, “The Daily Buzz” anointed him “The Woman Expert” and FOX News pronounced him “A voice for women.” Over five million people have read Wanis’ books in English and Spanish. www.patrickwanis.com

 A new TV reality show where brides-to-be compete in challenges to win extensive surgical procedures is another attack on women and reinforces the message to women that they can never be good enough, according to one behavior expert.

“Women are bombarded everyday with advertising and messages that there is something wrong with them, something missing – they need to look younger, slimmer and change the shape of their body – they need to be perfect ” says Patrick Wanis PhD, Human Behavior & Relationship Expert. “This new TV show on E!, Bridalplasty, tells women, that even after a man has fallen in love with you the way you are, and chosen to devote himself to you in marriage, you still need to do more, you still need to be better because you are simply not good enough. This show also promotes narcissism, Body Dysmorphic Disorder to women and it is objectifying women as sex objects when it brainwashes women into thinking their most important and probably only asset is their physical beauty and body.”

Anointed “The Woman Expert”, Dr. Wanis says “The show Bridalplasty is also damaging to relationships because it encourages the show’s participants and all female viewers to focus on their body and not their inner beauty or the love they can express and bring to the marriage and relationship. The show uses such challenges as writing wedding vows and planning honeymoons as a selfish means to win plastic surgery rather than focusing on the partnership of marriage and the way that partners can serve and love one another” says Dr. Wanis.

“And taking women who already have a warped self-image or who might be suffering from Body Dysmorphic Disorder and placing them in a show that promotes and exacerbates their existing condition is extremely dangerous and could further damage them as it negatively impacts their identity and sense of self-worth”, concludes Wanis. 

***** Originally from Australia, Patrick Wanis PhD, is a Celebrity Life-Coach, Author, Expert in Human Behavior and Relationships and a Clinical Hypnotherapist with a PhD in Health Psychology. Wanis has appeared on FOX News, MSNBC, Extra, the Montel Williams Show, Mike and Juliet, Cosmo, Rolling Stone, InTouch Weekly, Women’s Health, Dating on Demand, E! TV, Vh1, CNN.com, Date.com, Matchmaker.com, NY Daily Mail, NY Post, etc. Wanis is the first person ever to do Clinical Hypnotherapy on national television. WGN Chicago and Syndicated TV show, “The Daily Buzz” anointed him “The Woman Expert” and FOX News pronounced him “A voice for women.” Over five million people have read Wanis’ books in English and Spanish. www.patrickwanis.com

Read the article by Hollie McKay of FOXNEWS.com featuring quotes and insights by Patrick Wanis PhD about the E! show “Bridalplasty”:

http://www.foxnews.com/entertainment/2010/11/12/bridalplasty-reality-brides-plastic-surgery-women/

The GQ magazine photo shoot featuring Glee actresses in sexually suggestive poses dressed as schoolgirls is yet another example of America’s obsession with young girls and youth, according to one behavior expert.

“Although the actresses are adults, they are dressed as schoolgirls and this promotes and drives the male obsession and desire for younger and younger women ” says Patrick Wanis PhD – Human Behavior & Relationship Expert, originally from Australia.

“Miley Cyrus sent the same message with a sexually suggestive and topless photo shoot for Vanity Fair when she was just 15, and Britney Spears promoted the same older male obsession with schoolgirls with her video “Baby one more time” and with the lines from the song ‘I am not that innocent’ says Wanis. “While some critics believe that these sort of actions serve to sexualize school children, they also promote the ideal that the younger the woman, the hotter and more attractive she is. In turn, this encourages men to cheat on their wives and girlfriends with younger women, or should I say, younger girls.” says Wanis.

“The GQ Glee photo shoot also sends the message to women that if you want to be attractive and appealing to men, then you need to be really young – a teenager – and sexual. And while America seems obsessed with youth and young girls, it gives little value to age, experience and wisdom. Other Western countries like the UK and Australia prize experience, insights, wisdom and education above youth.”

“And in 2008, a company began to market in the US, high heels for babies! In general, we are over sexualizing young girls and the result is rampant cases of Body Dysmorphic Disorder among girls as well as stolen childhoods and a loss of innocence. Maybe Britney was right and speaking for many teenagers when she said ‘I am not that innocent’” concludes Wanis.

**** Also read the article “Sexualization of school-aged girls harms women of all ages – expert says”:

http://patrickwanis.com/blog/index.php/2010/10/25/sexualization-of-school-aged-girls-harms-women-of-all-ages-expert-says/

Favoritism is giving a pass to wife-beaters and diminishing the gravity of domestic violence according to one male therapist who says while people are angry at Mel Gibson they are ignoring Charlie Sheen who has been charged with allegedly putting a knife to his wife’s throat.

“We give free-passes to people we like and we react harsher to racist remarks than we do to actual violence against women – although both are seriously wrong” says Patrick Wanis PhD – Human Behavior & Relationship Expert.

“The media and public have been quite vocal in expressing opinions and judgments about Mel Gibson and his ex-girlfriend Oksana Grigorieva; some calling Mel Gibson a racist violent monster while others call Oksana a gold digger” says Dr. Wanis. “But with so many recordings and media coverage, Mel Gibson has become a joke – a kind of drunken modern-day Archie Bunker – and now the attention has turned off domestic violence. California Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger compared Mel Gibson to the Gulf of Mexico oil leak saying Gibson could not be contained.”

“While no charges have yet been filed against Mel Gibson, there has been no public outcry over Charlie Sheen, star of “Two and a Half Men” on CBS, who is charged with felony menacing, criminal mischief and assault against his wife, Brooke Mueller Sheen. His attorneys are trying to work out details of an agreement that calls for Sheen to plead guilty to misdemeanor assault in exchange for prosecutors dropping more serious charges. The agreement calls for Sheen to serve 30 days in jail.

“Why have the media and public not been screaming over Charlie Sheen who has been charged for allegedly putting a knife to his wife’s throat? Why have there not been the same calls for the boycotting of Charlie Sheen’s movies and TV shows as there have been for Mel Gibson’s movies?

“We are showing favoritism towards Charlie Sheen. We watch Charlie Sheen on his weekly TV show and for almost 7 years, and we welcome his TV character and welcome him in life as a bad boy but we refuse to see him as a man who has abused a woman. The reality of his abuse, of his violence against a woman, is ignored because people generally seem to like him, to find him affable, viewing him as basically just a boy who is slightly wild and has not yet grown up. If we had heard the conversation between Charlie and his wife, would we still be giving him the free=pass?

“People quickly condemned Chris Brown for assaulting Rihanna but was that because we saw the photo of her bruised face or because Chris Brown is black and so our bias and prejudice spiked our anger and condemnation?

“The most significant and critical point is that the incidents of Mel Gibson and Charlie Sheen have, instead of highlighting the issue of domestic violence, only served to diminish and undermine our attention to the gravity of domestic violence  which affects not only women but also children. Each year, 1.3 million women are victims of physical assault by an intimate partner and; half of those perpetrators abuse children in the household.

“We need to be careful that our biases and prejudices – our favoritism – do not result in a free-pass to people who abuse women or engage in domestic violence” says Dr. Wanis.

Listen to the interview Patrick Wanis PhD gave to Russ Morley morning host of news talk 850 WFTL radio:
http://patrickwanis.com/Is_racism_more_important_than_violence_against_women.asp 

Continue reading “Is racism more important than violence against women?” »

Extreme transparency and listening to Mel Gibson hurts us as much if not more than it hurts him according to one behavior expert and therapist who says we need to separate the art from the artist and realize many artists and entertainers are dysfunctional and not necessarily morally good people.

“We have become more interested in the artist’s personal life than his or her art and the danger is that it will simply end our enjoyment of their work – movies, songs and TV shows” according to Patrick Wanis PhD – Human Behavior & Relationship Expert. “While there is no defense for Gibson’s behavior, most artists and Hollywood actors and actresses are riddled and driven by their emotional pain and dysfunction; very few artists, entertainers or even athletes are morally worthy of being role models, and there is no real tangible benefit for us by delving and reliving all of the details of incidents such as Gibson’s rant and tirade. As we now learn more and more about the sordid details of the personal lives of artists such as Mel Gibson or even Lindsay Lohan, we are damning the art as well as the artist and we can never again fully enjoy the artist’s work. If we do this with every artist, there will be no art left to enjoy ; do we ban all bad celebrities? Michael Jackson was an alleged pedophile; Cecil B DeMille directed the biblical epic “The Ten Commandments” but he was a married man with serial mistresses; Phil Spector produced some of the biggest musical hits of the 1960s but he was found guilty of murder; Academy Award winning actress Liza Minnelli struggled with alcohol abuse and allegedly beat up her fourth husband;  Singer Bing Crosby and actress Joan Crawford were child abusers – her daughter Christina recalls her mother dragging her from bed in the middle of the night, aged nine, to beat her over the head with a can of scouring powder for leaving soap streaks on a bathroom floor.; best-selling author, Stephen King says he was so frequently drunk that he can’t even remember writing CUJO and; movie director Woody Allen married Soon-Yi, the adopted daughter of his former girlfriend. Do we throw out all of the art as we damn the artist and damn their art?” asks Dr. Wanis.

“With the power of technology and the internet we now have developed extraordinarily dangerous and destructive transparency and now we are more interested in the real life bad behavior of people such as Lindsay Lohan and Mel Gibson than we are in their acting; Lindsay’ greatest and possibly only career now is her real life drama.”

“When we look deeper into the personal lives of celebrities, entertainers and those we mistakenly idolize and when we seek out all of the sordid details, we warp and erode our image of them, with little benefit for us; perhaps it is best to focus on their artistic contribution and not get so heavily involved in their personal lives” concludes Dr. Wanis.

  Continue reading “Ban bad celebrities?” »