This test was devised by Patrick Carnes PhD. Dr. Carnes is currently the Executive Director of the Gentle Path program at Pine Grove Behavioral Center in Hattiesburg, Mississippi. He is the primary architect of Gentle Path treatment programs for the treatment of sexual and addictive disorders. This assessment tool has been used since 1983 to help determine if sex addiction is a problem. This version of the SAST has been updated to reflect changes in sexual behavior since the 1980′s and to be of assistance whatever your gender or sexual orientation might be.

The Sexual Addiction Screening Test (SAST) is designed to assist in the assessment of sexually compulsive behavior which may indicate the presence of sex addiction. Developed in cooperation with hospitals, treatment programs, private therapists, and community groups, the SAST provides a profile of responses which help to discriminate between addictive and non-addictive behavior.

It also is a simple screening tool which helps you sort out whether you have a problem or not. If you do have a concern, it is very important to see a trained therapist who understands sex addiction.

Please indicate gender:

Indicate Orientation:

Please check any of the following which apply:

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To complete the test, answer each question by placing a check in the appropriate Yes or No column.

In the 2003 motion picture, Anger Management, Jack Nicholson plays Dr. Buddy Rydell who is assigned to help Dave Buznik (Adam Sandler) control his anger. In one scene, Nicholson tries to tempt Sandler into hitting-on a girl at a bar. Sandler who already has a girlfriend responds with “Flirting is cheating’s first cousin, Buddy!” But is it?  

What constitutes cheating?  

Is cheating kissing or sleeping with someone? What are the boundaries? And is cheating only physical or can there also be, “emotional cheating”? 

Take the quiz and then compare your answers with my responses, explanations and reasoning further below. 

For most people, the term cheating refers to being sexually unfaithful but the dictionary also defines cheating as deceiving someone. In a committed relationship, the definition of cheating needs to be clearly determined and defined by each partner, and acceptable to both. For example, some couples are OK with a partner flirting and even kissing someone else – of either sex. Sit down now and have that tough and uncomfortable conversation about what each of you defines as cheating. It is better to have it now and establish your values, standards and expectations rather than to have the conversation after the fact when one of you is truly and deeply hurt, and when it might be too late to rescue the relationship! Also, in some of the scenarios in the quiz above, it may not be a case of clear cheating but it might still be wrong and hurtful!Now let’s explore each of the above questions in detail:  

1. You French kiss a co-worker at an office party?
Yes, this is cheating – kissing is not just a physical act, it also creates an emotional response, particularly in women.  

2. You kiss the stripper at your bachelor party?
The same applies here. Also, a bachelor party does not grant free license to do anything you want because you justify it as your last fling. Commitment begins when you commit to the other person, not just when you sign the marriage papers or move-in. 

3. You (the woman) kiss another woman?
Most women will decide if they will sleep with someone based on how he/she kisses. In other words, the kiss has great significance and meaning for a woman, so, yes, it is cheating. 

4. You watch adult movies on your own?
Men will argue that sex is sex and it has no meaning for them beyond the physical feelings or attraction. However, repeated fantasizing about someone else, and repeated exposure to the adult movie world, creates false expectations of one’s partner. In other words, the sexual fantasy can be just as damaging to the relationship as the real sexual act. Beware also of how often you are watching these movies. If it is on a regular basis and you are doing it instead of being with your partner – you may need help. Yes, it is cheating –if you do it on a regular basis. 

5. You go out for dinner with someone who you know is interested in you?
It seems harmless and maybe your intentions are sincere but it can easily lead to cheating when you need a shoulder to cry-on, you are vulnerable or your partner has hurt you and you want to get him/her back. Remember, spending time with someone and doing things together leads to bonding and thus you are building a relationship – even if it is not at first, a romantic one. Also, if you know that the other person is seriously interested in you beware that you do not hurt the other person by leading them on. And guys: beware that if a woman wants you, she may use a variety of deceptive practices to win you over – even if you are taken! 

6. If you have phone sex?
Yes, it is cheating. You are speaking with a real person even if you may have not met them and you are fantasizing and connecting with them – not your partner. You are giving that person energy and attention and taking it away from your partner. 

7. If you excessively use MySpace, talking to people of the opposite sex?
Why do you need to spend so much time talking to other people online? What are you talking about? It is obvious that something is missing in your relationship. It may not begin as cheating but will most likely lead to physical cheating. Also, it is a form of emotional cheating. 

8. If you have sex while on a break from a relationship?
Both of you must decide upfront what you expect from each other during the break and the purpose of the break/time apart. If one partner says to the other, “I want to” or “We need to see other people” then it is not cheating. 

9. If you are in a casual but sexually exclusive relationship and you date other people but don’t have sex?
If you both agree to this action, then it is fine, otherwise, yes, it is cheating. You are still looking for Mr. or Mrs. Right and seeking to establish the emotional connection first.  

10. You secretly talk to your EX?
Yes, it is cheating because you are deceiving your partner. 

11. You undress and put to bed your drunk friend?
It is not cheating as long as all you did is put your friend to bed – and you didn’t climb in with her. (Most guys don’t care about sleeping fully dressed, on the floor, when they are drunk, so this situation usually only applies to women!)  

12. You hang out with a friend topless on the beach?
This is a cultural issue. In

13. You go to a nude beach?
Most guys don’t go to a nude beach – except to watch women naked, so yes, for men, the intention is cheating. In other words, it would be a rare sight to see a group of straight guys naked at a nude beach, just hanging around having a beer or two, and throwing the Frisbee to each other! 

14. You dirty dance with a friend or stranger – touching and grinding each other?
Women express themselves via body language more than men do. Thus, dancing can be a real turn-on for women, particularly when the dancing becomes sexual, so yes, it is cheating. If you are still not sure, ask yourself, “Would you dirty dance with your mother or mother-in-law?”  

TEMPTATION 
Yes, there is sexual and emotional cheating and either one can be hurtful. There are five core emotions that drive our behavior: love, hate, fear, lust and pleasure. In other words, base on these emotions, we will at one time or another be tempted to do something such as express physical anger or hatred or, respond to feelings of lust. And if we were to give into every feeling or impulse we might have, anarchy would rule the world.  

We also need to understand and accept that we will feel an attraction to other people throughout our lives and we will also experience powerful connections with people other than our romantic partner but we do not always need to act upon those attractions or urges. The distinction is purely choice: honor, loyalty and commitment! 

THE FINAL WORD  Thus, take a deep look into your present relationship and decide clearly if you want to be in a relationship with this person or not. And if you don’t want to continue the relationship, then choose now to walk away before betraying your partner. Don’t do things that are selfish, deceitful and extremely hurtful to the other person. You always have the power to say, “No.” Discuss with your partner what is missing in the relationship rather than look outside to fulfill it. And if you make the choice to cheat and betray your partner and relationship, you will ultimately hurt yourself, feeling ashamed, guilty and confused. Anytime you do anything that goes against your integrity, you will lower your self-esteem and self-image, you will feel bad about yourself and you will feel less inclined to trust others in the future because you will be fearful that your future partner might one day also betray you.  

A client of mine, Jackie, complained that her present relationship fell apart because her partner became so jealous, possessive and untrusting. Why and how did this happen? She and he had been married at the time they met and they both cheated on their spouses before finally leaving their spouse to be with each other. It is not surprising that the basis and foundation of their relationship was what they were left with. They couldn’t trust each other because they knew in their core and based on their past behavior, they both had lied, cheated and betrayed their partner.  

Finally, a committed relationship is about love, honor, respect, honesty and trust. Anything that you do that goes against that type of commitment can be defined as cheating! 

- The top ten red flags

By Patrick Wanis – Human Behavior & Relationship Expert and Celebrity Life Coach

It can be the most devastating revelation: Your partner is cheating on you. Worse: You find out that it has been going on for many months or even years and you never saw it coming -or did you?

Often there are many telltale signs of cheating. For some people, the signs can be confusing. Is his or her unusual behavior just a phase representing rough emotional times or is it because he or she is cheating? And what is the Number 1 sign that your partner is cheating on you?

First, be aware men do not cheat more than women do. When men cheat they are often doing it with another woman and the woman almost always knows he is married or in a relationship, so therefore she is part of the lie and deception.
Second, studies reveal that men will often hide their cheating behavior while women will be first to lie about their cheating behavior. Third, TV shows such as “Desperate Housewives” are indirectly promoting women cheating. And if you are still doubtful about the percentage of women that cheat, you can watch the TV interview I gave on FOX News Channel about women cheating at www.patrickwanis.com.

The Red Flags

Below is a list of twenty-six red flags or signs that scream “Look out! Your partner may be cheating on you!” Can you guess which ones are the top ten?

Rate next to each red flag a number and then compare your answers further below e.g. if you believe that the number one sign of cheating is “Sets up a new e-mail account but doesn’t tell you about it” then put the number 1 next to it.

Finally, be aware that what drives someone to cheat is not simply opportunity but rather the attempt to fill a need for the cheater. If your partner suffers from low self-esteem, there is a greater chance that he or she will cheat because she is either trying to sabotage a good relationship because she doesn’t subconsciously believe she deserves to be treated well or she is still seeking validation and reassurance from others because she simply doesn’t believe she is worthy and good enough.

Patrick Wanis’ books “Get the man you WANT!”, and “How to Get Over It –Breakups, Betrayals and Rejection” ©WOW Media are available at www.patrickwanis.com. Post a comment on Patrick’s Blog or subscribe to his free weekly Success Newsletter at www.patrickwanis.com

Answers: Top Ten Signs Your Partner is Cheating:

10. P  9. F  8. C  7. B  6. W  5. E  4. S  3. X  2. G  1. Z

1. Physical  

2. Financial  

3. Mental  

4. Emotional  

5. Miscellaneous 

Scoring  

Add the total number of As and multiply by 5

Add the total number of Bs and multiply by 10

Add the total number of Cs and multiply by 15 

Now add all three scores for a grand total of points. Remember to post your comments and thoughts…. All the best, Patrick www.patrickwanis.com Am I high maintenance? 

200-225 Points:You need to be more assertive and ask for what you want! 

230-350 Points:You are easy to get along with! 

355-450 Points:You are high-maintenance and it takes hard work to please you! 

455+ Points:You are extremely high-maintenance! You are absolutely impossible and probably need a team of servants and several boyfriends/girlfriends to satisfy you – get help!