I would like to talk about Valentine’s Day and share with you my suggestion for the best gift that you can give to the person you love – and it doesn’t cost anything.
First, let me say that whenever giving gifts think about what brings happiness to the other person and not what you would like to give them or have them wearing or doing something just to please you.
Jalal ad-Din ar-Rumi was a 13th century Sufi mystic who composed thousands of passionate love poems, many while dancing in a circle to the beat of drums or the music of rushing water. Rumi wrote, “If you could see yourself through my eyes, you would realize how beautiful you are.”
Unfortunately, too many of us choose to see our dark aspects, our failings and not our light, our beauty and treasure. Why is it so hard for us to see our splendor and magnificence? Most of us were raised to focus on what is wrong with us and thus what is wrong with everyone else. Not enough of us take time out to personally relay to our friends, family and loved ones how much we cherish them and why they are so special to us. Few of us, until it is too late, take the time to express our gratitude and appreciation to those special people in our lives.
Imagine sitting opposite your partner, holding hands and looking each other in the eyes as you proceed to speak of “The beauty I see in you is that you are…(kind, loving, sweet, strong, sensitive, a great mother, etc)” This is a truly inspiring and moving experience which helps people to see in them what they had not seen or appreciated before. I suggest that you might want to consider doing this exercise as a gift to your Valentine’s. Some people like to have love expressed verbally, some like to be shown love, and others like to have something tangible – that they can touch. Therefore, you might give this gift in person, over the phone, via email or a letter depending on your circumstances. You might choose to write it, print it and read it to your loved one. I have, in the past, made it as a birthday gift by writing it over a collage of photos of my Valentine and us.
If you feel uncomfortable or resistant to the thought of this exercise, ask yourself if you find it easier to criticize rather than praise your friend or partner. Also ask yourself whether you would prefer to have your best friend or partner tell you the reasons they don’t like you rather than the reasons they do like you. It is important to step out of your comfort zone and act in spite of your fears and I can promise you that this exercise will have great meaning and will bring you both closer together. You might also be surprised to learn of the aspects in you that excite and inspire your partner that you never dreamed of. We all need to continually work on seeing our inner beauty so that we can see it in others and they can see it in us.
If you would like more assistance doing this, I humbly suggest you use my hypnosis CD/MP3 –“Feel Good About Yourself!” Also, please check out my website and the page of Video clips for seven new TV clips of Body Language, Flirting and Hypnosis for Comcast’s “Dating on Demand.”
I wish you the best and remind you “Believe in yourself -You deserve the best!”
Celebrity Life Coach, Human Behavior & Relationship Expert & Clinical Hypnotherapist