Comments on: What makes a woman ugly?

By: The poison of perfectionism and self-centeredness | Patrick Wanis

The poison of perfectionism and self-centeredness | Patrick Wanis — Wed, 02 May 2012 17:35:31 +0000

[...] What makes a woman ugly: http://patrickwanis.com/blog/what-makes-a-woman-ugly/ [...]

By: Jennifer

Jennifer — Thu, 25 Nov 2010 04:46:57 +0000

I believe most marriages fail because it is based on physical attraction. Once the couple find out that they are worlds apart as far as companionship the lust flame burns out.

By: Patrick Wanis

Patrick Wanis — Fri, 26 Feb 2010 19:52:25 +0000

Dear Rebecca,

this is very strange – you are saying that your husband openly tells you that he doesn’t think you are “attractive enough”?
How does he say this – verbally and/or by giving other women attention over you?

Two simple points:
He has not evolved, regardless of his education, he is still stuck in ego and vanity. A “high status, high paying job” leads him to think that he is superior – this is his ego and delusions of grandeur. Men in power often cheat unless they are evolved and have self-discipline and awareness.

Second, is there some sort of other problem in your marriage where he is angry or resentful towards you and he is trying to hurt you by saying these things?
Is there something else he wants from you that he feels you are withholding?

Finally, do you feel ugly and unattractive? If so, why? Have you stopped giving yourself and your body love, attention and care? (Men like their partner to look good. ) Or is there something else happening which has lowered your self-esteem?

All the best,
Patrick

By: Rebecca

Rebecca — Sat, 13 Feb 2010 11:52:41 +0000

My husband and I are both well educated. He is an attractive man with a high status, high paying job. Women always ask him why he is married to me because I am not “attractive enough”. Now, he is extremely dissatisfied with me (maybe he always has been but never voiced it). He had “a relationship” with an “outwardly” beautiful lady. His colleagues actually coerce him that she is the type he should be with considering what he “has to offer”. I am considering moving out. We have a 13 year old son. My husband says that he loves me, but other woman get his attention because they are attractive.

By: Leah

Leah — Tue, 04 Aug 2009 17:48:29 +0000

I found this article while I was looking up some statistics and was curious as to its contents. As I read it, I found that I agreed with the sentiments. I was raised in a family where true beauty was based on the heart and soul. Naturally, I have tried to keep that philosophy strong as I start a family. When I first started dating my husband, I was immediately attracted to him but not for his looks. While I found him very good looking, I liked the way he made me laugh and felt like I mattered. To me that was the most important thing. As a young woman, I know how hard it is to look past the outside features. Everything in our society keeps women wishing they were different in someway and men looking for nothing more than just a physical attraction. It isn’t right of anyone to look just for outer beauty, and women should not blame just the men. Women spend a lot of money on surgeries, medicines and make-up to make them self look better. If we really wanted men to like us for us, we would not try so hard to change ourselves. Now, I’m not saying that we should let our obesity problems keep growing. We should all take care of our bodies. Not to look good, but to keep yourself healthy. Women need to respect themselves and men need to respect women for their ideas and not their looks.

By: Patrick

Patrick — Thu, 07 May 2009 03:11:30 +0000

Dear PJ,

yes, I agree that too many men also believe that a woman’s beauty is external but as I said in my newsletter, I think that society as a whole has adopted this belief intiated by men and perpetuated by both men and women. Remember, it is the women who agree to wear the fashion designed by men for the pleasure of men, and it is women who buy, dance and sing along to the hip-hop songs that promote them as whores and objects of desire and pleasure for men. It is also women who have the plastic surgey and botox. I am saying that we all need to respond and change our beliefs and values, and, women need to stop being told what to wear and how to look.

Having said all of that, please don’t allow bitterness to overtake you as that will harm your enjoyment of life.
All the best,
Patrick

By: PJ Mohn

PJ Mohn — Thu, 07 May 2009 00:39:02 +0000

‘Ultimately, too many women now believe that the only thing that makes them beautiful is their outer body and we have lost sight of a woman’s real beauty – her inner beauty. Patrick, The problem is NOT that WOMEN believe this, it is that MEN believe it. And the men i Have found that value a woman for her inner beauty already have wives, but they are still sniffing around! I agree with the other commentor, I am better off single.

By: Cher

Cher — Wed, 06 May 2009 19:54:00 +0000

During the span of my life, I was very intrigued with self identity, human nature, and of course love. As I grew, I learned more and more the value of love and life. I also learned the interworkings of a mans mind. Guess what? I am better off single! I have been more happy than I have ever been. So, ladies don’t fool yourself into thinking you need a man. You won’t find love anyway. You won’t find happiness. You won’t be accepted for who you are. You will only find a real life soap opera. The best realtionship is your own fanasy of one. The value of love and life only comes from yourself and how well you live. How well you love and how much. Meaning love yourself and the world God gave you.

You know I had to say it Patrick. I am not a fool. I see it for what it really is and I refuse to play the game. Love shouldn’t be a game anyway but that is exactly what it is. What a waste.