Angry attacks over Terry Richardson

February 27th, 2015
A photo from Terry Richardson's old Tumblr account angry attacks over Terry Richardson

A photo from Terry Richardson’s old Tumblr account

The following is an email exchange between an angry reader and Patrick Wanis as a result of an article by FOX News quoting Wanis; the article reveals that Playboy magazine is using controversial fashion photographer Terry Richardson who has been accused of sexual assault spanning a decade.  Additional reading and links to Terry Ricardson photos are below.

 

—–Original Message—–
From: Patrick Wanis
Sent: Friday, February 27, 2015 6:26 AM
To: Karen P
Subject: FW: Need for a therapist.

Dear Karen,

I see N…. sent you my original quotes and you will notice that I was comparing the Bill Cosby case with Terry Richardson as a way to explain why people don’t care as much about Richardson as they do about Cosby who is the product – America’s dad.

 

Second, the fact that Terry Richardson is still shooting for the biggest fashion corporations in the world and for the biggest celebrities simply validates my assertion that people don’t care about the photographer as much as they care about the photo.

 

Third, the reporter did not ask me for my opinions about whether or not the above is right or wrong, nor was I asked about its effect on women.

 

Fourth, I suggest you research my work to determine whether or not I express concern for women and insight into women’s issues – http://youtu.be/btwwRycL-pk

http://youtu.be/Oh4uYdIqQNs

http://patrickwanis.com/blog/10-reasons-women-stay-abusive-relationships-1-5/

http://patrickwanis.com/blog/battered-womans-syndrome/

http://patrickwanis.com/blog/mel-gibson-charlie-sheen-battered-womans-syndrome/

 

Fifth, you call him a “sexual predator”; I do not as there are no charges against him and no conviction. I do, however, mention “accusations” against him.

 

Sixth, if you truly want to make change, then you should be contacting the celebrities that actually hire him – Beyonce, Lady Gaga, Miley Cyrus (he produced her video “Wrecking Ball” which has over 700 million views), Barrack Obama, Martha Stewart, Marilyn Manson, Mariah Carey, Sharon Stone, Gwyneth Paltrow, Cameron Diaz, Megan Fox, Lindsay Lohan, Kat Dennings, Liza Minnelli, Katy Perry, Kate Moss, Miranda Kerr, Kim Kardashian, Samuel L. Jackson, Tracy Morgan, Jared Leto, Amy Winehouse, Jon Bon Jovi, A$AP Rocky, Pharrell Williams, Lil Wayne, Daft Punk, Shaun White, LeBron James, and hundreds of other celebrities!

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Gurus, rape, and fatherless girls

February 26th, 2015
Bikram Choudhury is accused of rape and assault by 6 women. Is there a link between gurus, rape and fatherless girls?

Bikram Choudhury is accused of rape and assault by 6 women. Is there a link between gurus, rape and fatherless girls?

The founder of the world famous Bikram Yoga is accused of raping students in a cult-like training, and this is yet another example of the way fatherless girls make up the majority of the followers and victims of gurus according to a male human behavior expert.

 

“Girls who have poor relationships with their dads tend to seek attention from other males at earlier ages and they are more susceptible to becoming victims and prey for sexual predators” says Human Behavior & Relationship Expert, Patrick Wanis PhD.

 

“Females make up the largest audience and consumers of self-help and personal development because they are motivated by the desire to evolve, grow and continually change”, says Dr. Wanis who also states: “For women, the greatest aphrodisiac is power – men in power are a great turn-on to women. But the greatest victims, the most vulnerable are those girls and women who have various key emotional needs that were never met because of a father that was silent, abusive or simply not involved in the young girl’s critical childhood development.”

 

It’s claimed that Bikram Choudhury, founder of Bikram Yoga, “used his status as a guru to identify and victimize the most vulnerable women from among his flock, grooming them, breaking down barriers, and ultimately assaulting them when they were at their most physically, emotionally, or financially vulnerable,” according to court papers filed in California against Bikram Choudhury. He is accused of rape, sexual battery, fraud and false imprisonment.  He faces six separate civil lawsuits from women accusing him of sexual assault or rape.

 

“A girl’s childhood relationship with her father will affect the quality of her adult relationships with men, her sexual activity, self-esteem, weight, success in life and happiness” says Dr. Wanis. “Unless she has a real father involved in her life, she will easily become prey for sexual predators and other charismatic men who will ultimately use and abuse them. Charles Manson’s followers were mostly young women – lost women who were seeking meaning and purpose and a strong male leader or father figure. At one stage, Manson had 19 women living with him in one house.”

 

“Studies also reveal that teens in single-mother households are 30 percent more likely than teens in married-mom-and-dad-families to engage in risky behavior like drinking, drugs, delinquency, and dropping out of school.”

 “I’m not dressed like a guru am I? I dress like a gangster. Like Robert De Niro. I am more westernised than any western man you have ever met.” – Bikram Choudury

 

Extra talking points:

•         Gurus rape girls claiming it is a blessing: Bikram Choudhury, the founder of the Bikram school of hot yoga, told a student “I need to spiritually enlighten you” as he raped her, according to one of a blizzard of lawsuits against him; girls would brush his hair and massage his shoulders while he was teaching.

 

•         Do children need two parents? Is dad more important than mom? Contrary to popular belief, raising daughters is not the lone responsibility of mothers, and neither gender on its own makes a better parent, because in a US study of 10,000 students, the surprising characteristic of strong father-daughter relationships was not duplicated between mothers and daughters.  Read more: http://patrickwanis.com/blog/how-dads-influence-their-daughters/

 

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Women – submission, dominance & desire

February 25th, 2015
50 shades of grey women want to de submissive, dominated or desired

Do women want to be submissive, dominated or desired?

In this week’s Success Newsletter, I would like to further the debate surrounding 50 Shades of Grey by addressing the simple question do women want to be dominated or desired; do women secretly fantasize about being submissive?

 

First a quick update:

 

****  “15 Quotes 50 Shades that reveal abuse, violence & rape” – Read the 15 quotes from the book that reveal that the book is not simply a love story with erotic sex. http://patrickwanis.com/blog/15-quotes-50-shades-reveal-abuse-violence-rape/

 

 

****  “Coaches, counselors and therapists” – Learn my unique therapeutic tool which helps clients to make radically fast behavioral and emotional changes without reliving trauma and without months or years of talk or emotional or psychological dependence upon the therapist. http://patrickwanis.com/SRTT/online-therapy-training.asp

 

 

****  Free therapy session - This is a special invitation for a few more people – It’s free. You will need the password: patricksentmethis  After 20 people have signed up, I will close the offer. http://patrickwanis.com/blog/srtt-digital-interactive-therapy-session/

 

 

****  Follow me on Twitter – You can now choose to follow me and receive a few words of wisdom on Twitter: @Behavior_Expert   https://twitter.com/Behavior_Expert

Now, let’s talk about the debate surrounding 50 Shades of Grey by addressing the simple question do women want to be dominated or desired; do women secretly fantasize about being submissive?

 

Please note that I am not referring to the rape which occurs in the book 50 Shades of Grey and which, I address in my article “Do women pine to be abused and controlled?”  and video http://youtu.be/btwwRycL-pk . I am referring here to conscious submission and submissiveness by a woman to a man.

 

While feminists today might argue that the feminist movement seeks equality between men and women, the movement has also been recognized for promoting superiority of one sex over another. Feminists have been vocal and active against any examples, in any area of life, where men dominate women. Feminism is a direct counter response to patriarchy.

 

Feminists will argue that men and women are equal and therefore women should never be submissive to men. Submission refers to being willing to obey someone.

 

However, does the loud voice of feminism represent the real desires of women?

 

Note: I am not referring to things such as equal pay, equal benefits or the right to vote; I am referring here to the personal relationship between men and women.

 

Do women want to be equal or to dominate men, or, do they long to be dominated by and be submissive to a man?

 

Domination and submissiveness are not mutually exclusive. However, a person can make a choice to be submissive (and in certain areas and aspects of a relationship) without being dominated or controlled in all areas.

 

The way that women have embraced 50 Shades of Grey reveals that there is obviously an element or elements that represent desires and fantasies of women, which probably do not fit the feminist manifesto or the politically correct western culture, and which, accordingly include the female desire to be submissive.

 

I would argue that these 5 elements are the key desires and fantasies of women contained in the book (clearly excluding the rape that occurs in the book.)

Continue reading “Women – submission, dominance & desire” »

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15 Quotes 50 Shades that reveal abuse, violence & rape

February 19th, 2015
15 Quotes from 50 Shades of Grey that reveal abuse, violence and rape

15 Quotes from 50 Shades of Grey that reveal abuse, violence and rape

Do women want a man who will control, dominate, intimidate, scare, abuse and rape them?

Is that what women truly aspire to experience in a relationship?

Is this the way women secretly fantasize about being treated?

No!

The following 15 quotes from the book 50 Shades of Grey reveal a woman who is an abuse victim and who would be categorized as suffering from Stockholm Syndrome. So why do readers and moviegoers admire her character?

Even Jamie Dornan who plays Christian Grey in the movie cannot explain it.

“I wonder what it is about this set of books that has, excuse my pun, penetrated the global market. Mass appreciation doesn’t always equate to something good. Think of Hitler! But I think, in this case, it must. It simply must. There’s got to be merit in it if so many people agree.”
-       Actor Jamie Dornan – confused and unable to offer reasons and an explanation for women’s fascination with 50 Shades of Grey

The movie is also telling men that women want to be abused; they want to be dominated, controlled, humiliated, criticized and raped!

Read my articles:
50 Shades – do women pine to be abused & controlled?
50 Shades promotes domestic violence
Falling in love with abusers

15 Quotes from 50 Shades of Grey that reveal abuse, violence and rape

 

  1. ‘You need to learn to manage my expectations. I am not a patient man.’ [Christian Grey]

 

  1. He’d probably like to beat seven shades of shit out of me. The thought is depressing.

 

  1. “Please don’t hit me,” I whisper, pleading.

 

  1. “You scare me when you’re angry,” I breathe, staring at him.

 

  1. I don’t want him to beat me, is that so unreasonable?

Continue reading “15 Quotes 50 Shades that reveal abuse, violence & rape” »

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50 Shades – do women pine to be abused & controlled?

February 18th, 2015
50 shades of grey women pine to be abused, controlled & raped

50 Shades of Grey – do women pine to be abused & controlled?

In this week’s Success Newsletter, I would like to reveal how 50 Shades of Grey promotes domestic violence, is not BDSM, and sends unhealthy messages about the man women truly want.

 

First a quick update:

 

 

 

****  Free therapy session - This is a special invitation for the first 20 people – It’s free. You will need the password: patricksentmethis  After 20 people have signed up, I will close the offer. http://patrickwanis.com/blog/srtt-digital-interactive-therapy-session/

 

 

****  Follow me on Twitter – You can now choose to follow me and receive a few words of wisdom on Twitter: @Behavior_Expert   https://twitter.com/Behavior_Expert

 

 

****  Fascination that turns into violence – An alleged plot to kill people in a shopping mall in Halifax, Canada was foiled. Read my quotes about what parents can look as signs of potential violence in their children. http://www.sheknows.com/health-and-wellness/articles/1075667/alleged-halifax-shooting-plot-suspects-were-fascinated-with-the-columbine-shooting

 

 

 

Now, let’s talk about how 50 Shades of Grey promotes domestic violence, is not BDSM, and sends unhealthy messages about the man women truly want.

 

The movie “50 Shades of Grey” broke box office records over the Valentine’s Day weekend, 2015. The film is an adaptation of the book of the same name, which has sold around 100 million copies.

 

Women have generally embraced the book and movie; in some ways it reflects women’s fantasies of the young, powerful, successful, handsome, refined man who sexually conquers the young, innocent girl, introducing her to womanhood, and doing so, in the traditional method of the romance novels – as the wild, savage man inside.

 

However, this is not simply a man who tears off the clothes of the woman before seducing her. The entire relationship is steeped in violence, and sexual violence.

 

Although, the film was released on Valentine’s Day and promoted as a love story with kinky scenes and sex, it is not about romance because the entire relationship is founded on and based on their sexual relationship and not anything else that they have in common. She is passionate about literature; he is passionate about violent sex.

 

This story is not about two people who meet and share common values and interests. It is about two people who learn about themselves and each other through sex.

 

What is wrong with that?

 

Nothing, except that it is violent sex and abuse.

 

Before critics respond with ‘we need to be open about adult’s consensual sexual choices such as BDSM’ we need to understand that this movie is not embraced by the BDSM community because in many examples in the movie and book, Anastasia does not consent and is explicitly forced against her will.

Continue reading “50 Shades – do women pine to be abused & controlled?” »

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50 Shades of Grey promotes domestic violence

February 18th, 2015
50 Shades movie promotes domestic violence

50 Shades movie promotes domestic violence

50 Shades of Grey movie condones domestic violence and sexual abuse by reinforcing the notion that women are victims who can cure an abuser by accepting his abuse and offering him love, says Human Behavior and Relationship Expert, Patrick Wanis PhD.

The movie sets up women to fall for the most dangerous mistake possible – falling in love with the potential of a damaged man and making it her role to fix him, all the while giving her own power away and letting him emotionally & psychologically manipulate & control her, and physically & sexually abuse her.

In the movie, Christian Grey, who is a “cold-hearted predator with a dungeon filled with toys” clearly tells Anastasia Steele, who views him as an intimidating man, that her role is to receive and enjoy the sexual and psychological pain, control and manipulation for one reason alone – to please him.

Anastasia unveils the classic symptoms of a woman trapped in an abusive relationship: she is humiliated, controlled, stalked, manipulated, hit, diminished, criticized, alienates friends, experiences mood swings, becomes isolated and above all, begins to feel helpless that she cannot change him with her love.She wants to fix, heal and cure the abuser, thus blaming herself when she fails.

Three women are murdered every day in the US due to domestic violence. While many women attend the movie 50 Shades of Grey looking for a love story with kinky scenes, they are being brainwashed into thinking their role is to be submissive and embrace abuse in order to win the rich, powerful man. This is an extreme setback for equality.

Finally, the BDSM community (bondage, discipline, domination, submission, sadism and masochism) does not support 50 Shades of Grey because it is not an accurate depiction of BDSM and one real-life Dominatrix clearly states that there is a vast difference between abuse and BDSM.

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The link between desire, happiness and despair

February 11th, 2015
The link between desire, happiness, despair

The link between desire, happiness and despair

In this week’s Success Newsletter, I would like to discuss the link between desire, happiness and despair.

 

First a quick update:

 

 

****  “Coaches, counselors and therapists” – Learn my unique therapeutic tool which helps clients to make radically fast behavioral and emotional changes without reliving trauma and without months or years of talk or emotional or psychological dependence upon the therapist. http://patrickwanis.com/SRTT/online-therapy-training.asp

 

 

****  Free therapy session - This is a special invitation for the first 20 people – It’s free. You will need the password: patricksentmethis  After 20 people have signed up, I will close the offer. http://patrickwanis.com/blog/srtt-digital-interactive-therapy-session/

 

 

****  Follow me on Twitter – You can now choose to follow me and receive a few words of wisdom on Twitter: @Behavior_Expert   https://twitter.com/Behavior_Expert

 

 

****  Turning Twisted Love into Health Love? Once you realize that you are experiencing patterns of relationships of Twisted Love, is it possible to change that? Can you transform subconscious beliefs of & attraction to Twisted Love into healthy satisfying love?  Yes, you can. Watch the video:  http://youtu.be/EKSVbHsR8zQ


Now, let’s talk about the link between desire, happiness and despair.

 

It’s the most common phrase and request by every client – “I just want to be happy.”

 

We all desire to be happy. That’s expected.

 

What determines our happiness and what defines our happiness, are entirely different for each person.

 

What is it that makes you happy?

 

What is it that you desire?

 

“We are no longer happy so soon as we wish to be happier.”

-       Walter Savage Landor (1775 – 1864)

 

Unfortunately, in our society of constant consumerism, where everything we have today, will be outdated tomorrow, it seems that we can never have enough.

 

It is the constant desire and burning longing for something that we don’t have that actually creates unhappiness.

 

“What is evil? Killing is evil, lying is evil, slandering is evil, abuse is evil, gossip is evil: envy is evil, hatred is evil, to cling to false doctrine is evil; all these things are evil. And what is the root of evil? Desire is the root of evil, illusion is the root of evil.”

-       Buddha (Prince Gautama Siddharta, founder of Buddhism, 563-483 B.C.)

 

Here is the paradox – without any desire, we would do nothing and we would achieve nothing. Without any desire, we would not even learn, grow, evolve, progress or contribute to anyone or anything. There must be some desire for us to even exist.

 

So how can it be argued that desire is evil?

 

Research reveals that when you have a long-term goal that will provide a sense of satisfaction, your stress is lowered and your immune system is enhanced. It can easily be argued that this benefit occurs because the long-term goal also gives a sense of meaning and purpose to your life.

 

So again, how can desire be perceived to be evil?

Continue reading “The link between desire, happiness and despair” »

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Everything’s changing

February 5th, 2015
When everything is changing

When everything is changing

In this week’s Success Newsletter, I would like to reveal how to respond when everything is changing.

 

First a quick update:

 

****  “Coaches, counselors and therapists” – Learn my unique therapeutic tool which helps clients to make radically fast behavioral and emotional changes without reliving trauma and without months or years of talk or emotional or psychological dependence upon the therapist. http://patrickwanis.com/SRTT/online-therapy-training.asp

 

 

Free therapy session - This is a special invitation for the first 20 people – It’s free. You will need the password: patricksentmethis  After 20 people have signed up, I will close the offer. http://patrickwanis.com/blog/srtt-digital-interactive-therapy-session/

 

****  What is Twisted Love? – Can you recognize that what you are experiencing in your adult relationships is a form of Twisted Love? What forms and creates Twisted Love? Watch the video:  http://youtu.be/cZW615a8rtQ

****  Follow me on Twitter – You can now choose to follow me and receive a few words of wisdom on Twitter: @Behavior_Expert   https://twitter.com/Behavior_Expert

 

Now, let’s talk about how to respond when everything is changing.

 

For a moment, think of the many phases you have experienced in your life; think about the physical changes – from being an infant and a toddler, to a teen and an adult.

 

Think about the mental and emotional changes you experienced that are connected to those physical changes.

 

Now think about the changes that you personally have experienced based on the unique aspects of your life – a friendship or relationship that ended, a job that no longer exists, family members that have grown, aged or passed away; successes and wins; losses and disappointments.

 

There are always beginnings and endings.

 

Now think about the way the world is changing – and faster than ever before – technology, terrorism and the environment.

 

What once may have appeared to be certain is now clearly uncertain.

 

However, ‘certainty’ in life usually refers to a limited time period. We know that for particular periods in our life, there is relative certainty i.e. the years when we are at school.

 

However, only when we truly analyze our life does it become truly evident that there is no certainty – everything changes.

 

The only thing we can depend on is change – we know that our bodies will change; we know that people around us will change (friends, family & colleagues); we know that society will change, and; we know that even what we want, expect and need will also change or evolve.

 

“There is nothing permanent except change.”

-       Heraclitus

 

And although I use the words “we know” that something will change, we actually don’t know until we have experienced it. In our twenties, we feel immortal and invincible – we don’t actually, consciously think that our body will change, nor do we consciously think that we will become weaker and suddenly aware of our mortality.

 

When we enter into relationships – friendships and marriages – we don’t think or expect that those relationships might change; we expect them to be constant, certain and even permanent.  http://patrickwanis.com/blog/why-dont-you-change/

 

However, everything changes and everything needs to change.

Continue reading “Everything’s changing” »

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Personality VS character – which is more important?

January 28th, 2015
Personality VS Character - which is more important

Personality VS Character – which is more important?

In this week’s Success Newsletter, I would like to discuss personality VS character – which is more important in every relationship?

 

First a quick update:

 

****  “Coaches, counselors and therapists” – Learn my unique therapeutic tool which helps clients to make radically fast behavioral and emotional changes without reliving trauma and without months or years of talk or emotional or psychological dependence upon the therapist. http://patrickwanis.com/SRTT/online-therapy-training.asp

 

**** Free therapy session - This is a special invitation for the first 20 people – It’s free. You will need the password: patricksentmethis  After 20 people have signed up, I will close the offer. http://patrickwanis.com/blog/srtt-digital-interactive-therapy-session/

 

 

****  Follow me on Twitter – You can now choose to follow me and receive a few words of wisdom on Twitter: @Behavior_Expert   https://twitter.com/Behavior_Expert

 

****  The truth about anger? – In the previous video, I revealed the ways that anger is not always negative. In this video, I reveal the truth about anger – and it’s not what you think. Watch the video: http://youtu.be/D95CNc4OnNo

 

 

 

Now, let’s talk about personality VS character – which is more important in every relationship?

 

The word personality comes from the Latin word persona, which literally means ‘mask, character played by an actor.’ Thus, persona referred to the exterior, to the mask.

 

The dictionary defines personality as “the visible aspect of one’s character as it impresses others: He has a pleasing personality.”

 

“Although no single definition is acceptable to all personality theorists, we can say that personality is a pattern of relatively permanent traits and unique characteristics that give both consistency and individuality to a person’s behavior.”

(Feist and Feist, 2009)

 

Accordingly, personality also relates to temperament – is he/she introverted or extroverted, bold or shy, a leader or a thinker, serious or animated?

 

And which of those really matter in relationships – be they social, romantic or business relationships?

 

Naturally we are drawn to people who complement our own personality, share similar interests and hobbies, and whom, one way or another, via their pleasing personality, make us feel good.

 

And yet, this is one of the biggest and easiest mistakes to make in any and every relationship – to form a friendship, bond, contract, commitment, marriage or relationship based purely on the extremely attractive personality that someone offers or presents to us.

Continue reading “Personality VS character – which is more important?” »

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A woman’s struggle to please

January 21st, 2015
A womans struggle to please

A woman’s struggle to please

In this week’s Success Newsletter, I would like to discuss women’s struggle to please.

 

First a quick update:

 

**** When you need help & support - Everyone needs help and support at various times in life to let go of the past, to overcome an issue and to experience inner peace. Book a personal session with me.   http://patrickwanis.com/PhoneConsultations.asp

 

 

****  Follow me on Twitter – You can now choose to follow me and receive a few words of wisdom on Twitter: @Behavior_Expert   https://twitter.com/Behavior_Expert

 

 

****  What is anger? - Is anger always negative? What is the difference between anger and rage? Watch the video: http://youtu.be/hAof0wih2Hw

 

 

Now, let’s talk about women’s struggle to please.

 

From early childhood on, we all naturally succumb to the pressure and expectation to please others.

 

Of course, it begins with the desire to please our parents (or caregivers.) We seek to please them and get their approval because we directly relate the seal of approval and a sense of acceptance with physical safety, love and affection. In other words, for a child, the perception and interpretation of the significance of approval becomes synonymous first with physical survival.

 

Eventually, our desire to please others (including peers and strangers) and seek their approval and acceptance becomes more than a habit – it becomes part of our programming. As adults, we equate other people’s approval, acceptance and opinion of us with our self-worth. We allow others to decide our value based purely on their ever-changing judgment of us.

 

We battle and struggle to maintain the image and be the person that others close to us as well as society in general expect of us.

 

It is not that we lose our individuality as much as we lose our self-worth when we constantly keep measuring ourselves against what everyone else wants us to be, do or have.

Continue reading “A woman’s struggle to please” »

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