Forgive or damn Josh Duggar?
I have worked with various clients who were abused by an older sibling, and that older sibling was abused when he/she was young. I have had cases of boys molesting younger sisters/brothers, and sisters molesting younger brothers.
So did someone molest Josh when he was young child?
The answer is most likely, yes.
And while some people promote forgiveness for Josh, the second key question in this case is, has the victims of Josh Duggar forgiven him? Has Josh’s sisters forgiven him?
Consequences for Josh AND forgiveness can help his sisters to forgive him and bring about healing and resolution for the 4 sisters.
|Patrick Wanis Ph.D.
Celebrity Life Coach, Human Behavior & Relationship Expert & SRTT Therapist
A study in Western Australia reveals that there is a new form of secret domestic violence – children are assaulting siblings and parents.
The report, by Women’s Health and Family Services reveals that in more than 2000 cases ¬reported between 2009 and 2014 police charged adolescents (10-17) with assault and other acts of violence against their siblings, parents and care-givers. There were 181 arrests of adolescents for domestic sexual assault.
Parents are being abused by their children and are too ashamed to report it to police and authorities.
People working in the field have known for a long time that children are also involved as perpetrators of domestic violence.
1. Surrounded by violence
Many children are already growing up in families and environments of violence i.e. they themselves were victims of violence or they have witnessed violence within the family and accordingly they learn to express and respond with violence; they repeat what they see and what they experience – violent behavior. Hostility and constant conflicts within the family can also lead to violent behavior by the children.
Further, I have young clients who were sexually abused by an older sibling who was sexually abused by someone else in the family. One client was a male who was sexually abused by an older sister.
2. Unmet needs/mental health problems
The child’s emotional and psychological needs are not being met, and many children suffer from mental health problems but are not receiving adequate help if any at all – depression, post-traumatic stress disorder, substance abuse problems, and anxiety disorder. Note that the greatest group at risk is single mothers.
3. Feelings of shame/alienation
Third, the primary psychological cause of violence is shame. In other words, these children experience feelings of being disrespected, demeaned & debased, feeling insignificant, worthless leads to feelings of shame that then trigger anger and then violence. Children also need to be adequately taught to understand and regulate their emotions as well as their responses to their emotions.
“Traditionally, most people think of family violence as being perpetrated by men against women, but it is the case that more recently we’ve become more aware of the violence perpetrated by women and young people, sons and daughters, and that is particularly stigmatizing for families.”
– Women’s Health and Family Services project officer Sarah Broadhead
Police run over a suspect who is shooting in the air ; officers unleash a K9 on a man during a violent struggle and he dies; 11 country sheriffs beat, kick and punch a man while he is laying on his stomach on the ground; a policeman shoots and kills an unarmed man as he is fleeing.
Some incidents are blatant examples of excessive force, brutality and violent rage.
Why is this happening?
Bruce St. James and Pamela Hughes from KTAR News interview Patrick Wanis PhD to explain and reveal the reasons people become law enforcement officers and the 5 primary reasons police lose control and kill. Click on the play button below to listen to the interview now.
Also read the full article by Human Behavior Expert Patrick Wanis PhD: 5 Reasons police lose control and kill
In the same week, we saw it on video, Walter Scott, an unarmed black man in SC fleeing was shot in the back and killed by a policeman, and in CA, Francis Pusok, a white man stealing a horse was beaten, kicked and punched by a total of 11 (white and black) County Sheriffs while he lay flat on the ground on his stomach.
What we are seeing on video is multiple examples of excessive force, brutality and homicide by law enforcement officers – trained people who swore to uphold the law and to protect and serve the innocent.
Since as far back as 1972, it has been commonly believed that “the typical policeman is cynical, suspicious, conservative, and thoroughly bigoted.” However, in all the studies conducted in over six decades and across 3 continents, there is no definitive police personality profile that has ever been identified.
So how do we explain without condoning violent police behavior – excessive force, shootings, beatings and killings?
- Inadequate psychological screening – The existing psychological screening test for candidates for law enforcement focuses on the type of candidates that should be excluded rather than giving equal focus to the type of candidates that should be included.