10 Signs of depression & insight into suicide

August 27th, 2014
10 signs of depression suicide insight

10 signs of depression and an insight into suicide

In this week’s Success Newsletter, I would like to reveal the 10 key signs of depression and an insightful response to claims that suicide is a selfish act.

 

First a quick update:

 

**** Self-sabotage & how to end it – Listen to the hour-long interview I gave to Josh Elledge – 90 days to abundance – about the ways we sabotage our lives and success. Why we sabotage; How to stop sabotage; How to help a husband or wife, family, or friend who sabotages themselves; How to overcome anxiety. http://savingsangel.com/blog/2014/08/16/059-why-we-sabotage-how-to-stop-sabotage-forever-and-live-abundantly-dr-patrick-wanis-schools-me/

 

 

 

****  Follow me on Twitter – You can now choose to follow me and receive a few words of wisdom on Twitter: @Behavior_Expert   https://twitter.com/Behavior_Expert

 

 

Now, let’s talk about the 10 key signs of depression and an insightful response to claims that suicide is a selfish act.

 

As a result of the recent death of Robin Williams, various media outlets have been asking me for insights into depression and the ways a person can recognize it in themselves or their partner.

 

“Does the average person know the difference between ‘the blues’ and depression?” asked one TV reporter.

 

Every one of us will experience some form of the blues and some form of depression. The way to distinguish between a sad or depressed mood and a state of depression that needs attention is to answer these 3 questions:

 

1. Duration

When you feel sad, down or depressed, for how long does it last?

 

2. Intensity

When it happens, how intense would you rate it from 1 -10 (high being 10)?

 

3. Frequency

How often do you experience this state or feelings?

 

If you are having intense feelings of depression that occur nearly every day and last most of the day, then we would refer to that as depression. Severe depression occurs when the state overtakes your life, you cannot function and it is destroying your life and relationships.

 

There are also various forms of depression from sadness and anxiety to delusions and hallucinations to postpartum depression and its opposite – mania.

 

Here are the 10 key signs of depression, again referring to them as occurring nearly every day and for most of the day; you do not need to have all 10 signs to be experiencing depression:

 

1. Sadness, emptiness: Depressed mood with feelings of being sad or empty; others notice you are sad or tearful

 

2. Lack of interest in pleasurable activities: A loss of interest and excitement in what were once highly pleasurable activities – hobbies, sports, exercise, sex and so forth; psychological and physical isolation – particularly in men

  Continue reading “10 Signs of depression & insight into suicide” »

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What Ferguson could have learned from Nelson Mandela

August 26th, 2014
What Ferguson could learn from Nelson Mandela.

What Ferguson could learn from Nelson Mandela.


“…blood is crying from the ground, crying for vengeance, crying for justice.”

 

This is the call by Pastor Charles Ewing, an uncle of Michael Brown, a black man who was killed by a white policeman in Ferguson, Missouri.

 

Like many activists and speakers connected to the protests, church services and even the eulogy for Michael Brown, the calls to action have been for vengeance and to make Michael Brown a martyr – a trigger for potentially more race riots and cries of racial injustice.

 

“No peace. Do not talk about peace. Give us weapons.”

 

This is the call by a mother who lost her child.

 

But it is not the call of Michael Brown’s mother.

 

It was the call during Apartheid in South Africa made to Nelson Mandela soon after his release from 27 years in prison.

 

There, the black people had suffered extraordinary injustices at the hands of the white ruling government.

 

Like Al Sharpton or any other activists who claim leadership over the black community, Nelson Mandela who was their true recognized leader, had to respond.

 

“There is only one way forward and that is peace.

I know that is not what you want to hear, but there is no other way.

I am your leader. I am going to tell you always when you are wrong. And I tell you now, you are wrong!

…I have lost 27 years in prison…I have forgiven them.”

 

Nelson Mandela didn’t puff up his chest or call for more anger.

 

He turned away from his own wife, Winnie Mandela who remained angry and continued to promote and fuel more anger and violence against the whites and each other. Winnie Mandela endorsed “necklacing” – burning people alive using tires and gasoline: “With our boxes of matches and our necklaces we shall liberate this country.”

 

The blacks were killing the blacks – even burning them alive.

Continue reading “What Ferguson could have learned from Nelson Mandela” »

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The one issue everyone has

August 20th, 2014
The one psychological issue everyone has!

The one issue everyone has!

In this week’s Success Newsletter, I would like to reveal the one issue everyone has and how to neutralize it.

 

First a quick update:

 

****  Understanding depression and mental illness – NBC News senior writer Tony Dokoupil discusses the silent epidemic of suicide and mental health issues with me on MSNBC. Watch the video: http://patrickwanis.com/blog/robin-williams-depression-mental-illness-video/

 

 

**** Follow me on Twitter – You can now choose to follow me and receive a few words of wisdom on Twitter: @Behavior_Expert   https://twitter.com/Behavior_Expert

 

 

 

Now, let’s talk about the one issue everyone has and how to neutralize it.

 

“What’s wrong with you?” I exclaimed over the microphone.

 

The faces in the room turned to shock.

 

“What’s wrong with you?” he shouted even louder than before.

 

People looked at me with shock and disbelief.

 

Two hundred people from across the US had gathered at this class at the annual convention of the National Guild of Hypnotists to hear me reveal the one core issue that everyone shares.

 

And here was I challenging everyone in the room.

 

“Who has said that to someone, ‘What’s wrong with you?’”

 

Arms went flying up in the air.

 

“Who has had that said that to you by someone else, ‘What’s wrong with you?’”

 

Again, arms went flying in the air.

 

For a moment, that heavy feeling left the room as people smiled and related to the questions; after all, we have all said that to someone or someone has said that to us, “What’s wrong with you?”

 

“So, what is wrong with everyone? What is the one thing that is wrong with everyone?” I asked the 200 people in the room.

 

Again, the heads followed me with faces of shock as I walked up and down the aisle repeating the question.

 

I paused.

 

I wrote the word “wrong” in large letters on the flipchart.

 

“That’s what’s wrong with everyone.

Everyone thinks there is something wrong with them!”

 

And now, let me reveal to you how that belief is played out and expressed in various ways and with 4 common subconscious phrases.

Continue reading “The one issue everyone has” »

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Robin Williams, depression & mental illness – video

August 16th, 2014

NBC News senior writer Tony Dokoupil discusses the silent epidemic of suicide and mental health issues with human behavior expert and celebrity life-coach Patrick Wanis PhD.

 

 

Read Patrick Wanis’ article: 5 Lessons from Robin Williams 

 

 

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Gene Simmons says to depressed people “F..k you, kill yourself”

August 15th, 2014
Gene Simmons: Depressed people, alcoholics and drug addicts should kill themselves

Gene Simmons: Depressed people, alcoholics and drug addicts should kill themselves

Robin Williams tragically took his own life on Monday August 11, 2014, and statistics now reveal that for the first time  in the US, suicide is the leading cause of death by injury surpassing car accident deaths,

 

So why would a rock icon suggest that people who are depressed should kill themselves and that alcoholics and drug addicts “sees themselves as a victim”?

 

Here’s what Gene Simmons of KISS told Roger Carlin of Songfacts.com just a few days before Robin Williams (who admitted he was an alcoholic) killed himself:

 

“No, I don’t get along with anybody who’s a drug addict and has a dark cloud over their head and sees themselves as a victim. Drug addicts and alcoholics are always: “The world is a harsh place.” My mother was in a concentration camp in Nazi Germany. I don’t want to hear fuck all about “the world as a harsh place.” She gets up every day, smells the roses and loves life. And for a putz, 20-year-old kid to say, “I’m depressed, I live in Seattle.” Fuck you, then kill yourself.

I never understand, because I always call them on their bluff. I’m the guy who says ‘Jump!’ when there’s a guy on top of a building who says, “That’s it, I can’t take it anymore, I’m going to jump.”

Are you kidding? Why are you announcing it? Shut the fuck up, have some dignity and jump! You’ve got the crowd.”

Should people who are victims of violence, living in Israel and Gaza and whom are depressed also kill themselves? Should returning US servicemen suffering from PTSD and depression also kill themselves? Should a woman who was raped and is now depressed and suiicidal go ahead and kill herself? Should all alcoholics and drug addicts everywhere kill themselves?

 

What would Gene Simmons say to parents of children who have committed suicide because of depression?

 

What would Gene Simmons say if he were to learn that Robin Williams had read Simmons’ comments days before taking his own life?

 

In response to Gene Simmons words, Triple M radio network in Australia has banned and removed all KISS songs from their playlist nationwide and appealed to other radio stations in Australia and the US to do the same and ban Kiss’ songs.

 

“Depression and suicide are not topics he should be using to further his notoriety or sell records. His desperation to use mental health issues to find relevancy in a modern age is sickening.”
-       Mike Fitzpatrick, Group Content Director Triple M Network, Australia. Mike Fitzpatrick also called Gene Simmons a “dickhead”  

Mötley Crüe bassist Nikki Sixx slammed Simmons on his radio show, Sixx Sense:

 

“It’s pretty moronic because [Simmons] thinks everybody listens to him, that he is the God of Thunder. He will tell you he is the greatest man on earth, and to be honest with you, I like Gene. But in this situation, I don’t like Gene. I don’t like Gene’s words…There is a 20-year-old kid out there who is a Kiss fan and reads this and goes, ‘You know what? He’s right. I should just kill myself.’For people who are depressed, there is a way out. There are many, many ways out. And I don’t want people to listen to an interview from a rock star, who’s telling you the only way out is out.”

Australia, similar to the USA, has a tragically high suicide rate, with suicide killing three times more Australian males aged between 15 and 45 than all car accidents combined. What would Gene Simmons say to the families and loved ones of these people who committed suicide?

 

IN AUSTRALIA: If you are concerned about your own emotional wellbeing, are experiencing a personal crisis or are concerned about someone else, contact Beyond Blue at www.beyondblue.org.au or 1300 22 4636

 

IN THE US: Call National Suicide Prevention line – 1-800-273-8255

 

 

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5 Lessons from Robin Williams

August 13th, 2014
5 Lessons from Robin Williams

5 Lessons from Robin Williams

In this week’s Success Newsletter, I would like to reveal the 5 key lessons that can be gleamed from the life of Robin Williams.

 

First a quick update:

 

 

****  Robin Williams dead of suspected suicide: Are comedians more plagued by depression than other stars? – Read my insights here

http://www.foxnews.com/entertainment/2014/08/12/robin-williams-dead-suspected-suicide-are-comedians-more-plagued-by-depression/

 

 

****  Follow me on Twitter – You can now choose to follow me and receive a few words of wisdom on Twitter: @Behavior_Expert   https://twitter.com/Behavior_Expert

 

 

 

Now, let’s talk about the 5 key lessons that can be gleamed from the life of Robin Williams.

 

“I lay on my back, frozen, unable to avoid thinking the darkest thoughts. Then, at an especially bleak moment, the door flew open and in hurried a squat fellow with a blue scrub hat and a yellow surgical gown and glasses, speaking in a Russian accent. He announced that he was my proctologist, and that he had to examine me immediately…it was Robin Williams…for the first time since the accident, I laughed. My old friend had helped me know that somehow I was going to be okay.”

-       Christopher Reeve, who was paralyzed in 1995 following a horseback riding accident, says he “wanted to die” but credited Williams for inspiring him to live. Christopher Reeve and Robin Williams were roommates at Juilliard School of dance, drama and music.

 

Robin Williams was a man who brought so much joy, laughter and inspiration to millions of people around the world with his comedy and acting. He sadly and tragically took his own life on August 11, 2014.

 

People close to Robin Williams loved him more for his kind, gentle and generous soul than for his talent.

 

Of course, the news that he took his life is shocking, particularly since few people really knew the darkness, pain and suffering of Robin Williams.

 

For decades, he suffered and battled addiction, alcoholism and depression. He was sober for 20 years and relapsed in 2006 and then entered rehab and became sober again. He assigned his fall back into alcohol as “It’s trying to fill the hole, and it’s fear.”

 

He attributed the deterioration of his second marriage to alcohol:

Continue reading “5 Lessons from Robin Williams” »

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Societal expectations of women and shame

August 6th, 2014
societal expectations of women A model is airbrushed to look "perfect" for a magazine

A UK model is airbrushed to look “perfect” for a magazine

In this week’s Success Newsletter, I would like to reveal the link between societal expectations of women and shame. Men, please read this!

 

First a quick update:

 

**** Prejudice *& racism have no color or political lines – We all have prejudices and judgments based on cultural programming and individual values. If you don’t believe me, take the test: http://patrickwanis.com/blog/prejudice-racism-color-political-lines/

 

**** “Mother-shaming” – Working mom guilt - Watch the video below about the shame and guilt many working mothers experience.

**** Follow me on Twitter – You can now choose to follow me and receive a few words of wisdom on Twitter: @Behavior_Expert   https://twitter.com/Behavior_Expert

 

Now, let’s talk about the link between societal expectations of women and shame.

 

Today, being a woman means being everything to everyone.

 

In 1982, the LA band Berlin, released a song “Sex, I’m a…” that is truer today than it was back then.

 

The song features a male voice simply calling “I’m a man” and the female voice responding by defining herself.

 

The male states 25 times, “I’m a man” and nothing more, while the female offers 25 various and contradictory definitions of herself.

 

 

I’m a man, I’m a goddess

I’m a man, well I’m a virgin

I’m a man, I’m a blue movie

I’m a man, I’m a bitch

 

I’m a man, I’m a geisha

I’m a man, I’m a little girl

 

I’m a man, I’m a boy

I’m a man, well I’m your mother

I’m a man, I’m a one night stand

I’m a man, am I bi?

 

I’m a man, I’m a slave

I’m a man, I’m a little girl

 

 

The definition of a man and of a woman has changed dramatically since 1982. Many men claim they feel irrelevant today. However, this article focuses on the impact on women.

 

Of course, women have greater choice, more power, better education and independence than ever before, but the societal expectations of women are so unachievable that the result is shame.

 

Before discussing shame, let’s look at what is expected of women today. “Do it all, do it perfectly, and never let them see you struggle.”

 

Mental

Women are expected to:

* Embrace a (conflicting) identity which is constantly-changing as promoted by society and media

* Be intelligent, witty, worldly

* Excel in once male dominated fields such as science

* Hold high positions in the workforce

 

 

Emotional

Women are expected to:

* Not need a man but have a man and have successful relationships

* Get married, have children, be an ideal mother, nurturer and parent

* Be powerful

* Stand up and speak out for themselves

* Be feminine but also be masculine but never angry. (Hilary Clinton was criticized for crying, and criticized as being an ‘angry woman.’)

* Always be happy

* Not display emotion other than happiness

Continue reading “Societal expectations of women and shame” »

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Prejudice & racism have no color or political lines

July 31st, 2014
Racism prejudice have no color or poltiical lines

Justin Bieber, Mark Cuban, Cliven Bundy, Donald Sterling and V.Stiviano. What do they all have in common?

The Puyallup Tribe which owns Emerald Queen Casino in Tacoma cancels two of rocker Ted Nugent’s shows because of racist remarks such as calling President Obama “subhuman mongrel.”

 

Rancher Cliven Bundy says African Americans were “better off as slaves, picking cotton and having a family life.” 

 

A video catches a 15-year old Justin Bieber making a racist joke; another video exposes the woman who recorded Donald Sterling’s racist remarks, V. Stiviano making racist jokes herself – but about African Americans.

 

African history reveals that the warring black tribes of Wolofs and Mandinkas sold off their captives to the European slave traders.

 

And so it seems prejudice, bias and racism have no color!

 

In fact, the owner of the Dallas Mavericks, Mark Cuban said the same thing when he spoke of his own prejudices – fear of the black man in the hoodie and the white bald man with tattoos. Cuban was referring to class distinction, personal safety and stereotypes.

 

British actor Gary Oldman says we are all hypocrites because we have all said racist things:
“I don’t know about Mel [Gibson.] He got drunk and said a few things, but we’ve all said those things. We’re all fucking hypocrites. That’s what I think about it. The policeman who arrested him has never used the word n—– or that fucking Jew? I’m being brutally honest here. It’s the hypocrisy of it that drives me crazy.”

Continue reading “Prejudice & racism have no color or political lines” »

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10 reasons why women stay in abusive relationships 6 -10

July 30th, 2014
Ray Rice wife Janay was fiancee in February when he allegedly knocked her unconscious; she pleaded with NFL execs to go lightly when punishing him

Ray Rice’s wife Janay was his fiancee in February when he allegedly knocked her unconscious; she pleaded with NFL execs to go lightly when punishing him

In this week’s Success Newsletter, I would like to reveal the reasons 6 through 10 why women stay in abusive marriages and relationships, and explain why outside men don’t understand women in these situations.

 

First a quick update:

 

 

**** 7 major warning signs in relationships – There are things that you should never have to settle for in a relationship. Discover the major 7 as revealed by me to HerCampus.com: http://www.hercampus.com/love/relationships/7-things-you-should-never-have-settle

 

 

**** Follow me on Twitter – You can now choose to follow me and receive a few words of wisdom on Twitter: @Behavior_Expert

 

 

 

Now, let’s talk about the reasons 6 through 10 why women stay in abusive marriages and relationships, and explain why outside men don’t understand women in these situations.

 

In my article, the 10 reasons women stay in abusive relationships, I revealed the first 5 reasons and I referenced the incident in Australia where TV show host Joe Hildebrand admonished victims to get out of abusive relationships and said it is not an excuse to not report “child sex abuse by your partner because you are scared for your own safety…you have to get out, you absolutely have to get out…anything is better than staying in an abusive relationship.”

 

His comments created an uproar after a woman appeared on the show defending herself following the murder of her 11-year old son by her estranged & abusive husband.

 

Why do women stay in abusive relationships?

 

There are 10 primary reasons why victims of abusive relationships and marriages find it impossible to break away and often return more than once; the reasons can be divided into mental/emotional, physical, financial, social and spiritual blocks. Here are reasons 6 – 10. For the first five reasons why women stay in abusive relationships, click here. 

 

 

Mental/Emotional Reasons

 

 

6. Stockholm Syndrome – I love him and can’t help but defend him; I can’t survive without him

This phenomenon is what gives the abuser the ultimate control over his/her victim. The Stockholm Syndrome refers to the mental, emotional and physical bond that hostages experience as they empathize and become emotionally attached, even forming a romantic bond with the kidnapper/hostage taker on whom they depend for survival. In the context of a marriage or romantic coupling, the abuser has even greater power over this abused victim who often shares a child and also depends on the abuser for food, water, shelter and affection. She truly feels and believes she can’t live or survive without the abuser.

Continue reading “10 reasons why women stay in abusive relationships 6 -10” »

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10 reasons why women stay in abusive relationships 1-5

July 23rd, 2014
10 reasons why women stay in abusive relationships and why men don't understand. Photo - Joe Hildebrand and Rosie Batty, mother of murdered 11 year-old

10 reasons why women stay in abusive relationships and why men don’t understand. Photo – Joe Hildebrand and Rosie Batty, mother of murdered 11 year-old

In this week’s Success Newsletter, I would like to reveal the 10 reasons women stay in abusive marriages and relationships, and explain why outside men don’t understand women in these situations.

 

First a quick update:

 

 

**** LeAnn Rhimes – another wicked stepmother? – Is LeAnn Rhime’s decision to do a reality TV show an example of a step-mother turning wicked by setting out to punish the ex-wife? It certainly looks that way. Read my insights and the challenges and attitudes of stepmothers who use the children against the husband’s ex-wife: http://patrickwanis.com/blog/leann-rhimes-wicked-stepmother/

 

 

**** Follow me on Twitter – You can now choose to follow me and receive a few words of wisdom on Twitter: @Behavior_Expert

 

 

 

Now, let’s talk about the 10 reasons women stay in abusive marriages and relationships, and reveal why outside men don’t understand women in these situations.

 

There was a furor in Australia when a TV show host Joe Hildebrand commented on a new law making it a crime (punishable by up to 3 years in prison) for not disclosing a case of child sex abuse:

 

“Obviously you can’t help but feel a huge amount of sympathy for anyone who’s in an abusive relationship but … you have to get out, you absolutely have to get out…There are huge economic costs associated with that, yes there are often other things, but anything is better than staying in an abusive relationship. Frankly, to say that you’re going to not report a case of child abuse or child sex abuse by your partner because you are scared for your own safety, I’m sorry, it is not an excuse.”

 

The uproar occurred when the next guest on the TV show was Rosie Batty, the mother of an 11-year old boy who was murdered by his abusive and estranged father who bashed him in front of onlookers at a cricket oval. Mrs. Batty had not previously heard about the new law and she quickly defended herself:

 

“Do you know what happened to me? Greg [my husband] had finally lost control of me and the final act of control, which was the most hideous form of violence, was to kill my son. So don’t you ever think that if we don’t report it’s because we don’t want to. It’s because we are so scared about what might happen.”

 

Are women in abusive relationships (family violence) truly guilty for the violence and sexual abuse that their children suffer at the hands of the abusive father?

 

People spoke out for and against Rosie – even though the new law and the TV segment were not directly about her:

Continue reading “10 reasons why women stay in abusive relationships 1-5” »

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