In this week’s Success Newsletter, I would like to reveal the truth about vulnerability – it is not weakness but pure courage – and why it is critical for happiness & success.
First a quick update:
**** Yoga Guru Bikram Choudhury victimized vulnerable women – accused of rape, sexual battery & fraud – The founder of Birkram Yoga is being sued over allegations that he “raped students in a cult-like training.” Are these allegations surprising if true? Why do so many women fall for and become prey for charismatic men and cults? Read my article about the link between women with low self-esteem, a poor relationship with fathers and easy prey for gurus, cults & brainwashing: http://patrickwanis.com/blog/women-bad-father-relationships-easy-prey-cults-charismatic-men/
Now, let’s talk about the truth about vulnerability – it is not weakness but pure courage – and reveal why it is critical for happiness & success.
In my newsletter, “Craving human connection – 6 tips” I revealed that love and connection (a sense of belonging and meaning) is one of the six key human emotional needs. http://patrickwanis.com/blog/craving-human-connection-6-tips/ I also explained that the strongest form of punishment in the prison system is solitary confinement, which leads to a host of mental and emotional disorders and breakdowns.
In other words, both men and women need human connection. Although women openly place more emphasis on relationships, men need connection just as much as women.
Connection, which is the relationship with people whereby we feel seen, heard, and valued; whereby we can freely express and receive without judgment, is critical not only to our mental and emotional health, but also critical to our sense of having meaning and purpose in life. (Read my article “Getting your six human emotional needs” http://patrickwanis.com/blog/getting-your-six-human-emotional-needs/ )
What blocks and prevents connection?
The fear of becoming vulnerable.
What is vulnerability?
The choice to reveal yourself; all of you.
Vulnerability is the choice to reveal yourself knowing that you might be loved or you might experience pain and rejection.
Recently, I explained to a ‘friend’ whom I had known casually for about 3 years that we weren’t real friends, couldn’t become real friends, until she chose to be vulnerable – to reveal herself, to be fully seen and heard, without hiding or being secretive.
What and why was she hiding?
The same thing everyone hides and for the same reason everyone hides, which, I’ll explain in a moment.
But you cannot feel fully alive, until and unless you fully reveal yourself and become vulnerable. Yes, you can shut down those difficult feelings but you will also shut down all of the other feelings – joy, love, happiness and creativity.
What prevents us from being vulnerable?