Interview – 5 Reasons police lose control and kill – KTAR Interview

April 16th, 2015
Did police use excessive  force when running over a fleeing suspect who was firing his gun?

Did police use excessive force when running over a fleeing suspect who was firing his gun?

Police run over a suspect who is shooting in the air ; officers unleash a K9 on a man during a violent struggle and he dies; 11 country  sheriffs beat, kick and punch a man while he is laying on his stomach on the ground; a policeman shoots and kills an unarmed man as he is fleeing.

Some incidents are blatant examples of excessive force, brutality and violent rage.

Why is this happening?

Bruce St. James and Pamela Hughes from KTAR News interview Patrick Wanis PhD to explain and reveal the reasons people become law enforcement officers and the 5 primary reasons police lose control and kill. Click on the play button below to listen to the interview now.


Also read the full article by Human Behavior Expert Patrick Wanis PhD: 5 Reasons police lose control and kill

 http://patrickwanis.com/blog/5-reasons-police-lose-control-kill/

 

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7 Factors of attraction

April 15th, 2015
7 factors of attraction theory

7 factors of attraction

In this week’s Success Newsletter, I would like to reveal the 7 primary factors of attraction.

 

First a quick update:

 

 

 

  • Why are police losing control, becoming violent and killing? – In California, 11 Sheriffs beat, kicked and punched a man while he lay on the ground not moving. The Sheriffs were both white and black and the man was white, so it was clearly not a racial issue. Why did they act this way? Read my article “5 Reasons police lose control and kill”  http://patrickwanis.com/blog/5-reasons-police-lose-control-kill/

 

  • “Coaches, counselors and therapists” – Learn my unique therapeutic tool which helps clients to make radically fast behavioral and emotional changes without reliving trauma and without months or years of talk or emotional or psychological dependence upon the therapist. http://patrickwanis.com/SRTT/online-therapy-training.asp

 

 

 

 

  • What is Twisted Love? – How do you define love? Does your definition match your relationship? If not, then you have a subconscious definition known as “Twisted Love.” Watch my video https://youtu.be/cZW615a8rtQ

 

 

Now, let’s talk about the 7 factors of attraction in romantic relationships.

 

Psychology refers to the Attraction Theory which presents Personal Appearance, Proximity, Similarity, and Complementarity as the 4 main factors behind interpersonal attraction.

 

However, I would like to expand and offer a more in-depth and detailed explanation of the 7 main factors of attraction

 

1. Chemistry – the physical attraction

The Attraction Theory presents Personal Appearance as the physical attraction. However, personal appearance refers to ideals of beauty i.e. “my physical type is…and I find this person to be beautiful.” However, we all know that the chemical attraction between two people is not directly linked or correlated to personal appearance as much as it is to the seeming inexplicable magnetic attraction between these two people.

 

The magnetic or chemical attraction is explicable – it is hardwired – our brain seeks out the partner that will best complement our own genes to reproduce the healthiest offspring.   

 

2. Proximity – bonding

The Attraction Theory presents Proximity as the concept that we become attracted to people who are physically close to us. In other words, the more often we see them, the more we will be attracted. That is not accurate; we see many people on a daily basis and that doesn’t guarantee attraction – we might still loathe or detest those same people.

Continue reading “7 Factors of attraction” »

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5 Reasons police lose control and kill

April 14th, 2015
Policeman shoots Walter Scott in the back,  killing him; Sheriff begins to kick Francis Pusok - eventually 11 Sheriffs join in on the beating, kicking and punching.

Policeman shoots Walter Scott in the back, killing him; Sheriff begins to kick Francis Pusok – eventually 11 Sheriffs join in on the beating, kicking and punching.

In the same week, we saw it on video, Walter Scott, an unarmed black man in SC fleeing was shot in the back and killed by a policeman, and in CA, Francis Pusok, a white man stealing a horse was beaten, kicked and punched by a total of 11 (white and black) County Sheriffs while he lay flat on the ground on his stomach.

 

What we are seeing on video is multiple examples of excessive force, brutality and homicide by law enforcement officers – trained people who swore to uphold the law and to protect and serve the innocent.

 

Since as far back as 1972, it has been commonly believed that “the typical policeman is cynical, suspicious, conservative, and thoroughly bigoted.” However, in all the studies conducted in over six decades and across 3 continents, there is no definitive police personality profile that has ever been identified.

So how do we explain without condoning violent police behavior – excessive force, shootings, beatings and killings?

 

  1. Inadequate psychological screening – The existing psychological screening test for candidates for law enforcement focuses on the type of candidates that should be excluded rather than giving equal focus to the type of candidates that should be included.

Continue reading “5 Reasons police lose control and kill” »

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Attraction and your attachment style

April 8th, 2015
your attachment style in relationships and the link between attraction and attachment style

What is your attachment style?

In this week’s Success Newsletter, I would like to reveal your attachment style in relationships and the link between attraction and attachment style.

 

First a quick update:

 

 

****  “Coaches, counselors and therapists” – Learn my unique therapeutic tool which helps clients to make radically fast behavioral and emotional changes without reliving trauma and without months or years of talk or emotional or psychological dependence upon the therapist. http://patrickwanis.com/SRTT/online-therapy-training.asp

 

 

****  Stop running from conflict – Are you the Emotionally/Conflict Avoidant personality? Read about the dangers of running away from conflict in a relationship, and how that leads to resentment and ruins relationships and marriages. http://patrickwanis.com/blog/stop-running-conflict-emotionally-conflict-avoidant-personality/

 

 

****  Follow me on Twitter – You can now choose to follow me and receive a few words of wisdom on Twitter: @Behavior_Expert   https://twitter.com/Behavior_Expert

 

 

****  The hypocrisy of relationships. Do You Love Unconditionally? – What is unconditional love? We all want it, don’t we? Do we, though, love unconditionally? Watch my video:   https://youtu.be/sv9T_7z_s_4

  

Now, let’s talk about your attachment style in relationships and the link between attraction and attachment style.

 

In my previous article: Chemical attraction – butts, hips and smell – I revealed that human attraction is based primarily on the goal of producing healthy offspring. Accordingly, unconsciously, we are hardwired to be attracted to the person that has the genes that best complement our own genes to produce the healthiest offspring.

 

To summarize, men are attracted to women who have a WHR (waist to hip ratio) of 0.7 (waist is 70 % of the size of hips), a spinal curvature of 45.5 which results in protrusion of the buttocks, are ovulating, and who have highly dissimilar MHC genes (Major Histocompatibility Complex.) Mating with a woman who fits these profiles results in greater chance of healthy pregnancy, multiple healthy pregnancies, and stronger immune system in the offspring.

 

However, in spite of our brain which is designed for survival and reproduction, we do not always choose our chemically attracted mate as our life partner, nor do we respond as severely to rejection by a potential reproductive partner as we do to the rejection by a committed partner in a conscious relationship or someone who is the object of our love. 

 

Thus, we have two conflicting forces and drives at play – the neurological/biological drive to reproduce healthy offspring, and, the drive to create bonds and attachments with other humans. (I am combining the drive for romance & limerence with the drive for bonding. Limerence is “an involuntary interpersonal state that involves an acute longing for emotional reciprocation, obsessive-compulsive thoughts, feelings, and behaviors, and emotional dependence on another person.” – Dorothy Tennov – “Love and Limerence.” )

Continue reading “Attraction and your attachment style” »

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Chemical attraction – butts, hips & smell

April 1st, 2015
Chemical attraction & lust -  butts, hips & smell

Chemical attraction & lust – butts, hips & smell

In this week’s Success Newsletter, I would like to reveal the explanation for chemical attraction – and it is connected to the size of butts & hips and to smell.

 

First a quick update:

 

 

****  “Coaches, counselors and therapists” – Learn my unique therapeutic tool which helps clients to make radically fast behavioral and emotional changes without reliving trauma and without months or years of talk or emotional or psychological dependence upon the therapist. http://patrickwanis.com/SRTT/online-therapy-training.asp

 

 

**** Take control of your life & emotions – Do you know what truly drives your behavior? Do you argue over the smallest or stupidest things possible? Learn how to change that by identifying the subconscious driver. http://patrickwanis.com/blog/take-control-your-life-emotions/

 

 

****  Follow me on Twitter – You can now choose to follow me and receive a few words of wisdom on Twitter: @Behavior_Expert   https://twitter.com/Behavior_Expert

 

****  The 6 different kinds of love & passion – You may have heard of the 4 Greek words for love – each defining a different type of love. However, there are also two other forms of love. Watch my video:   https://youtu.be/zXO86gGCacY


Now, let’s talk about the explanation for chemical attraction – and it is connected to the size of butts & hips and to smell.

 

Have you ever noticed that your boyfriend or girlfriend has a particular smell or scent?

 

I am not referring here to the person that requires more bathing or more deodorant! Instead, I am referring here to the way you respond to your partner’s natural scent. The smell is usually obvious in your partner’s T-shirts. You will most likely find that you are attracted to the scent of the T-shirt, and, you probably have even commented about how much you love his/her natural scent.

 

Why?

 

The scent relates to our genes and immune system – MHC (Major Histocompatibility Complex.)

 

And as I will explain in a moment, the scent is one indicator that this person will contribute to healthy offspring.

 

1. Scent

Thus, scent is one element of chemical attraction and I will elaborate further below.

 

2. Facial Symmetry

Another element of chemical attraction is facial symmetry – the distances between certain parts of the face and proportions of those parts and features. Men and women who are viewed as being beautiful by the masses often have highly symmetrical faces. Numerous studies reveal that we are attracted to people who have symmetrical features. Dr. Kendra Schmid, assistant professor of biostatistics at the University of Nebraska Medical Center, has created a formula based on 29 different points on the face, resulting in a scale out of 10.

Continue reading “Chemical attraction – butts, hips & smell” »

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Give 100 percent of yourself to win

March 25th, 2015
GIve 100 percent of yourself to win

GIve 100 percent of yourself to win!

In this week’s Success Newsletter, I would like to reveal the significance of being and giving 100 percent of yourself if you want to win.

 

First a quick update:

 

****  “Coaches, counselors and therapists” – Learn my unique therapeutic tool which helps clients to make radically fast behavioral and emotional changes without reliving trauma and without months or years of talk or emotional or psychological dependence upon the therapist. http://patrickwanis.com/SRTT/online-therapy-training.asp

 

 

****  “Beware the mask” – Why do we hide behind so many masks and how can we remove the mask which traps us?  http://patrickwanis.com/blog/stop-hiding-behind-that-mask/

 

 

****  Follow me on Twitter – You can now choose to follow me and receive a few words of wisdom on Twitter: @Behavior_Expert   https://twitter.com/Behavior_Expert

 

 

****  What is love? – Recently, I witnessed an interesting yet no so rare phenomenon between two siblings, in this case two adult sisters, whereby one sister who is single became very jealous and tried to sabotage her sister’s flourishing romantic relationship. And yet the jealous and vindictive sister will gladly shout out that she loves her sister. So what is love when it’s not simply a word to be bandied around?  Watch the video:  https://youtu.be/S1jkYHXO0CY

Now, let’s talk about the significance of being and giving 100 percent of yourself if you want to win.

 

Recently, another reporter requested my input and insights regarding more rumors of a split between George Clooney and his wife Amal. Specifically, the reporter wanted to know why this relationship might have been doomed from the beginning.

 

The obvious answers might be: the loss of independence and freedom of choice for George Clooney who was a bachelor for 53 years prior to getting married, and clashing values stemming from both George and Amal being in different leagues and worlds.

 

However, the question prompted me to think further about another key element which splits marriages and relationships – not giving 100 percent of yourself.

 

It is a common catchcry of coaching in sport: you have to give 100 percent of yourself if you want to win.

 

“I’ve got a theory that if you give 100% all of the time, somehow things will work out in the end.” – Larry Bird (former US basketball player)

 

“There are only two options regarding commitment. You’re either IN or you’re OUT. There is no such thing as life in-between.” – Pat Riley (US former coach and basketball player)

 

However, few people apply the same rule and principle to every area of their life, particularly to the area of relationships.

Continue reading “Give 100 percent of yourself to win” »

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7 Steps to coping with change

March 18th, 2015
7 steps to coping with change

7 steps to coping with change

In this week’s Success Newsletter, I would like to reveal the 7 steps to coping with change

 

First a quick update:

 

“Coaches, counselors and therapists” – Learn my unique therapeutic tool which helps clients to make radically fast behavioral and emotional changes without reliving trauma and without months or years of talk or emotional or psychological dependence upon the therapist. http://patrickwanis.com/SRTT/online-therapy-training.asp

 

****  Follow me on Twitter – You can now choose to follow me and receive a few words of wisdom on Twitter: @Behavior_Expert   https://twitter.com/Behavior_Expert

 

 

*****  People pleasers are prone to cheating – A people pleaser sets out to take care of everyone else’s need and not his/her own. A people pleaser also seeks the approval of others, and both of these issues can lead a people pleaser to cheat. Watch the video:  https://youtu.be/bVt7SU7NHeo

Now, let’s talk about the 7 steps to help you when coping with change.

 

You may have noticed the paradox in the development of children: children embrace change on a daily basis, often excited about new adventures, and yet children also need structure, routine and security to feel safe, grow and evolve in healthy ways.

 

Fast changes in the physical development of a child can also result in emotional and psychological stress – although, this is often the result of peer responses such as mocking, teasing or rejection.

 

Adults struggle with change because unless conscious effort is applied, an adult’s comfort zone will shrink the older he/she becomes, and accordingly he/she will cling desperately to the status quo.

 

Some change is welcomed – a promotion, a new relationship, a new possession. Other changes can take the form of loss – loss of job, finances, home or a relationship such as a breakup or divorce.

 

Gradual changes are usually the easiest for us to cope with because they create the least amount of resistance, and, we are given the opportunity to adapt.

 

The more sudden and dramatic the change, the greater the level of stress will be. And of course, our stress level is often entirely dependent on the way we perceive, process, and respond to the change.

 

Further below are 7 steps to help you cope with change. First, please note that if the change involves a powerful loss, then there is also a 6-step Grieving Process. 

 

Second, stress can take many forms and this is only a partial list of some of the symptoms and signs that you need to ask for help:

 

 

– Headaches

– Depression

– Anxiety

– Fatigue

– Overeating or Loss of Appetite

– Insomnia

– Mood Swings

– Poor Concentration

– Indigestion, Stomachaches, bowel problems, etc.

– Neck and Backaches

– Grinding Teeth at Night

– Alcohol or Drug Abuse

– Eating Disorders

– Heart Palpitations

– Loss of Sexual Desire

 

You can also determine the stress level of major life changes with this stress scale and determine its link to illness. 

Before listing the 7 steps to coping with change, here is a list of potential benefits of change.

Continue reading “7 Steps to coping with change” »

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How ISIS sells youth a perverted “purpose driven life”

March 12th, 2015
Australian teenager Jake-Bilardi - another example of how ISIS sells youth a perverted "purpose driven life"?

Australian teenager Jake-Bilardi – another example of how ISIS sells youth a perverted “purpose driven life”?

An 18-year old Australian teen reportedly carried out a suicide bombing for ISIS and it’s another example of the way ISIS is using social media to recruit lost Western Youth by selling them purpose, meaning, and a chance to become a hero.

Remember, Rick Warren’s “The purpose driven life”, which sold 30 million copies worldwide? It gave people a positive purpose says Australian Human Behavior Expert, Patrick Wanis PhD. Australian Jake Bilardi is another example of a troubled teen who sought meaning and purpose after his mother died of Cancer 2 years ago and ISIS helped transform him from an Atheist into a Muslim terrorist.

Jake Bilardi was not poor and he was not uneducated; he was affluent and a gifted student. However, ISIS’ social media propaganda tapped into his vulnerabilities and confusion. Bilardi didn’t need a job – what he needed was meaning and purpose to his life – he found a perverted meaning.

ISIS’ propaganda videos display solidarity, strength, power; the videos seem to offer something more than just a religion – they offer a supernatural intention and objective – to serve God via sacrifice; the videos promote extreme honor in death, unparalleled brotherhood and unity and even try to offer the remedy to individual depression by fighting for a cause, living with honor and becoming a hero.

Read more: http://patrickwanis.com/blog/7-reasons-western-youths-joining-isis/ 

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7 Steps to stop being a people pleaser

March 12th, 2015
7 steps to stop being a people pleaser

7 Steps to stop being a people pleaser – and feel good about  it!

In this week’s Success Newsletter, I would like to reveal 7 steps to stop being a people pleaser – and feel good about it!

 

First a quick update:

 

****  “Coaches, counselors and therapists” – Learn my unique therapeutic tool which helps clients to make radically fast behavioral and emotional changes without reliving trauma and without months or years of talk or emotional or psychological dependence upon the therapist. http://patrickwanis.com/SRTT/online-therapy-training.asp

 

 

**** Follow me on Twitter – You can now choose to follow me and receive a few words of wisdom on Twitter: @Behavior_Expert   https://twitter.com/Behavior_Expert

 

 

**** It’s Okay to ask for what you want –  “If he loved me, he would know what I want” she says! No. He is not psychic and neither are you. You can ask for what you want and he/she will demonstrate love in the way they respond. Watch the video:  https://youtu.be/VPPHvty5-KA

Now, let’s talk about 7 steps to stop being a people pleaser – and feel good about it!

 

In last week’s Success Newsletter – “15 Signs you are a people pleaser” I explained that a people pleaser is someone who focuses on pleasing other people, making everyone else happy and never pleasing him/herself or taking proper care of his/her own needs.

 

It is common for people pleasers (aka people seeking other people’s approval) to engage in unhealthy behaviors simply to please another person.

 

For someone who is a people pleaser, life can feel like a prison or emotional and physical slavery. Before explaining how to break out of the prison of people pleasing behavior, it is critical to understand that life is full of choices; you have choices.

 

Here are 7 tips and steps of action to end people pleasing behavior and feel good about it.

 

 

1. Write out your needs and desires

People pleasers focus on everyone else’s needs and desires; start thinking about you!

 

List on paper your needs and desires.

List your priorities and values in life. What do you need?  What are your emotional needs? What are your physical, mental and psychological needs?

 

When doing this exercise it is likely that you will become angry – at yourself first, and then everyone else around you – for not getting your needs met. Understand that you have much more control over your life and its outcomes than you realized; you made the choices to give into everyone else’s requests. Be gentle on yourself when reading this; you made mistakes and now you are making new choices!

 

2. Who are you? Reveal your True self

People pleasers hide their true self out of fear of rejection and confrontation. Know thyself.

 

Who are you? Write out your true self. Remember, no one can truly love you if you don’t reveal the true you.

Continue reading “7 Steps to stop being a people pleaser” »

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15 Signs that you are a People Pleaser

March 4th, 2015
15 signs you are a people pleaser

15 signs you are a people pleaser

In this week’s Success Newsletter, I would like to reveal the 15 signs that reveal that you are a people pleaser.

 

First a quick update:

*****  “Coaches, counselors and therapists” – Learn my unique therapeutic tool which helps clients to make radically fast behavioral and emotional changes without reliving trauma and without months or years of talk or emotional or psychological dependence upon the therapist. http://patrickwanis.com/SRTT/online-therapy-training.asp

 

**** Follow me on Twitter – You can now choose to follow me and receive a few words of wisdom on Twitter: @Behavior_Expert   https://twitter.com/Behavior_Expert

 

 

*****  Narcissism and how to deal with narcissists – Do you know the origin if the word narcissist? It comes from Greek mythology and explains how we perceive narcissism. Watch the video and learn practical tips to deal with narcissistic people: http://youtu.be/LjLyDuHFgjw

 

 

Now, let’s talk about the 15 signs that reveal that you are a people pleaser..

 

There is a wonderful feeling and a sense of satisfaction when we know we have done something good for someone and pleased them.

 

Contributing to other people and making a positive difference in other people’s lives gives our life meaning and purpose. It also leads to connection with other people; connection is a key human emotional need.

 

However, we also need to beware of the pendulum swinging from one extreme to another – the one side is the narcissist and the other side is the people pleaser.

 

The narcissist believes the world exists for him and revolves around him; the people pleaser believes he exists to serve and please the world without ever getting his needs met.

 

Are you a people pleaser? Here are 15 signs.

 

The people pleaser:

 

1. Never considers his/her needs, desires and health

2. Feels unappreciated and unimportant

3. Is plagued with resentment, anger, hurt, passive-aggressiveness

4. Avoids confrontation

5. Feels trapped

6. Feels guilty when saying no

7. Feels resentment when saying yes

Continue reading “15 Signs that you are a People Pleaser” »

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