Mindfulness – Ease Away Pain, Anxiety & Stress

Mindfulness Ease Away Pain Anxiety and Stress
Mindfulness – Ease Away Pain, Anxiety and Stress

In this week’s Success Newsletter, I would like to discuss Mindfulness – what it is and how it can ease pain, anxiety and stress.

First a quick update:

“Coaches, counselors and therapists” – Learn my unique therapeutic tool which helps clients to make radically fast behavioral and emotional changes without reliving trauma and without months or years of talk or emotional or psychological dependence upon the therapist. http://patrickwanis.com/SRTT/online-therapy-training.asp

Follow me on Twitter – You can now choose to follow me and receive a few words of wisdom on Twitter: @Behavior_Expert https://twitter.com/Behavior_Expert

Weight Loss Hypnosis Secrets – Hidden Benefits to Being Fat – Of course, there is a link between stress, negative emotions, eating and weight. And did you know that there are hidden subconscious benefits to being overweight? That is what I discovered when I first began to use hypnosis to help people to lose weight. Watch the video

Now, let’s talk about Mindfulness – what it is and how it can ease pain, anxiety and stress.

The very presence of children is enamoring because of their exuberance, spontaneity, innocent joyfulness and their ability to truly enjoy the most simple aspects of life.

Children succeed in being happy because they are able to enjoy the moment, to be fully present without making an effort to fully engage all of their senses.

As children grow, they are reprogrammed with all sorts of thought patterns and expectations which, in turn, create anxiety, stress and a host of negative & agitative emotions.

Thus, the difference between joy and misery is the mind.

As soon as you choose to place your mind and focus on worries, fear, anger, regrets and other expectations, you leave the present moment and you become transported to a place where enough is never enough.

The solution to enjoying life and freeing oneself from pain, stress and anxiety is recapturing one’s mind, taking charge of one’s thoughts and emotions.

This is referred to as Mindfulness – the practice of placing all of your attention and focus on the present moment, observing your thoughts and feelings from a distance, replacing judgment with acceptance, learning to enjoy every aspect & moment of life. Continue reading “Mindfulness – Ease Away Pain, Anxiety & Stress” »

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We Remember Moments, Not Days

We Remember Moments Not Days
We Remember Moments Not Days

In this week’s Success Newsletter, I would like to share a tip on how to enhance the meaning of life by focusing on the moments of life.

First a quick update:

“Coaches, counselors and therapists” – Learn my unique therapeutic tool which helps clients to make radically fast behavioral and emotional changes without reliving trauma and without months or years of talk or emotional or psychological dependence upon the therapist. 

Follow me on Twitter – You can now choose to follow me and receive a few words of wisdom on Twitter: @Behavior_Expert https://twitter.com/Behavior_Expert

One question to transform your relationships – Unconditional love is an ideal most of us have in our relationships – we want to be fully accepted and embraced. However, are we able to do the same? Discover the one question which can transform your relationship.

Now, let’s talk about a tip on how to enhance the meaning of life by focusing on the moments of life.

Can you remember a complete day and list all of its details – everything that happened and everything that you did?

Probably not.

Why not?

“We do not remember days, we remember moments.”
– Cesare Pavese

What are your greatest memories?

Even if you think of a very special day in your life – a birth, graduation, promotion, wedding, athletic or career achievement, etcetera, you will most likely really only remember certain specific moments of that day or event.

Often, though, what we remember the most are actually small yet meaningful moments!

“I was at the playground with my mom and my two brothers. My youngest brother, Sammy, was only around a year old. He was sitting on a swing – the ones for little kids where you stick your feet through the holes – and my mom was pushing him. She got a tiny little smile out of him. When I pushed him, I got a giant smile. He only had two little teeth then, and I could see them both! I have a picture of it and whenever I’m sad I look at it and it makes me happy just to remember that memory.”
Amanda Sinderovsky 

It is the special moments in life that are stringed together that help give our life meaning. Continue reading “We Remember Moments, Not Days” »

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One Powerful Tip To Empower Your Child With Self-Belief & Confidence

One Powerful Tip To Empower Your Child With Self-Belief & Confidence
One Powerful Tip To Empower Your Child With Self-Belief & Confidence

In this week’s Success Newsletter, I would like to reveal one powerful tip to help you empower your child with self-belief and confidence.

First a quick update:

Dads, hug your sons! – A Father has a tremendous impact on his children. Did you know that boys become more masculine when their father hugs them? Read the article and also learn about how roughhousing helps the brain develop: http://patrickwanis.com/blog/dads-hug-your-sons/

Follow me on Twitter – You can now choose to follow me and receive a few words of wisdom on Twitter: @Behavior_Expert https://twitter.com/Behavior_Expert

Overcoming Working Mom Guilt – There are plenty of ups and downs with motherhood. And when it comes to being a working mom, many mothers reveal they feel guilty for being at work and not being home with the children. Watch the video and master the ways to overcome the guilt for being a working mom: https://youtu.be/CsI9hNizvEo

Now, let’s talk about one powerful tip to help you empower your child with self-belief and confidence.

Many of my clients state that they wish that they had had someone who believed in them, supported and encouraged them when they were children.

Without support, encouragement and someone who believes in him, a child will grow up to have self-doubt, insecurity, anxiety, and will constantly be unsure and wavering about his abilities.

The stories from many of my clients have common threads: the parents were too busy to notice the child (child felt invisible); when the parents did notice the child, it was for mistakes and they harshly criticized or condemned the child or, expected perfection (child becomes a perfectionist, anxious or constantly fears failure.)

In the 1980s, another movement began by parents who were harshly criticized as children – tell the child he/she is innately wonderful, a winner, amazing, deserves to be a winner, and deserves to have it all. The result of that parenting is seen in millennials who are narcissistic, entitled, anxious, hyperactive and often medicated!

Why?

Continue reading “One Powerful Tip To Empower Your Child With Self-Belief & Confidence” »

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Comparison Is The Thief Of Joy

Comparison Is The Thief Of Joy
Comparison Is The Thief Of Joy

In this week’s Success Newsletter, I would like to elaborate and reveal why comparison is the thief of joy.

First a quick update:

Can women have it all? – Jada Pinkett Smith says women can have it all. Here are the reasons that that belief is not only false – it is counterproductive and destructive to women to preach that belief.: http://patrickwanis.com/blog/women-cant-have-it-all-women-suffer-children-lose-husbands-divorce-pinkett-smith/

Follow me on Twitter – You can now choose to follow me and receive a few words of wisdom on Twitter: @Behavior_Expert https://twitter.com/Behavior_Expert

Women – please love your body – for our sake! – Did you know women judge their bodies more harshly than men judge women’s bodies? When a woman hates her body, she hates herself and it becomes impossible to love someone who hates herself. How can a man express love to a woman who says “I’m not lovable”? Watch the video: https://youtu.be/aZseA0CGzVo

Now, let’s talk about why comparison is the thief of joy.

It’s a quote that has been attributed to Theodore Roosevelt, although there exists little evidence to support that claim. Nonetheless, the same thing has been said centuries before – comparison is odious – when we compare, the result is repulsive and it robs us of our own joy.

What does it mean to compare and why do we do it?

To compare means to estimate or measure the similarities and dissimilarities between something or someone. In other words, comparison refers to measuring what other people have, are doing or are and then determining if we measure up to the same. Thus we are constantly measuring ourselves against other people: do we measure up? Are we good enough?

This is the negative aspect of comparison – we create a checklist and then we conclude that the other person is better than us because of something they are, something they do or something they have. We then become miserable, angry, envious, insecure, resentful, bitter, despondent, depressed, sad, self-loathing, etc. because we believe that there is something missing in us and something missing in our lives; we believe that we are incomplete and then we become insatiably thirsty or hungry for something, and then that something in turn, controls us.

Why do we engage in this self-destructive behavior?

Continue reading “Comparison Is The Thief Of Joy” »

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If You Feel Inferior, You Consented To It

If You Feel Inferior, You Consented To It
If You Feel Inferior, You Consented To It

In this week’s Success Newsletter, I would like to reveal that you are always in control and if you feel inferior it is because you consented to it.

First a quick update:

New start – What makes a great coach? Someone who has the ability to bring out the best in his client. John Wooden, former UCLA basketball coach whose team won 10 national championships in 12 years, teaches how to make a new start and succeed: http://www.patrickwanis.com/dont-whine-complain-excuses/

Follow me on Twitter – You can now choose to follow me and receive a few words of wisdom on Twitter: @Behavior_Expert https://twitter.com/Behavior_Expert

How to heal subconscious traumas from childhood – Almost every client complains that they have been through many years of every kind of therapy without any success. Why? Most therapies deal only with the symptom and never get to the root cause of the issue or they don’t know how to heal the root cause. My unique technique helps clients to make radically fast behavioral and emotional changes without reliving trauma and without months or years of talk or emotional or psychological dependence upon the therapist: https://youtu.be/qmvSkh5u1J8

Now, let’s talk about how you are always in control and if you feel inferior it is because you consented to it.

I have defined anxiety as the belief that one’s world is out of control coupled with the attempt to control that which one cannot control.

And it is true that there are things beyond our immediate control – from the weather and the choices other people will make to inflation and taxes!

Nonetheless, there are things that are within our control and the most important one is our thoughts.

“No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” – Eleanor Roosevelt

What are you thinking most of the time?
We have over 65,000 thoughts a day; what do you think is your dominant and repeating thought?

Few people realize that they are actually in control of their thoughts and that they give consent to others to influence or determine their own thoughts.

For example, a client was revealing her experience of being bullied as a young child. Being the victim of bullying is a common occurrence for many children. And as I have explained in the past, children are real victims because they cannot fully fend and defend themselves.

Most girls who are bullied, experience verbal attacks by other girls, whereas boys who are bullied usually experience physical attacks by other boys; boys tend be physical and girls tend to be verbal.

This particular client, Julie (name changed), experienced verbal bullying and it left her feeling insecure, fearful, anxious and powerless as an adult. Continue reading “If You Feel Inferior, You Consented To It” »

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Time Is Running Out – Live Your Passion

time is running out live your passion
Time is running out live your passion

In this week’s Success Newsletter, I would like to reveal a simple yet powerful choice for the New Year.

First a quick update:

 

  • 6 Steps to breaking bad habits – The key to ending, breaking or stopping any habit is to use the same technique that you used to learn the habit in the first place. And no, I don’t mean you need to call up mom or dad to show you how to tie your shoe laces or to start a regular exercise program! Discover the 6 steps to breaking bad habits: http://patrickwanis.com/blog/6-steps-breaking-bad-habits/
  • Follow me on Twitter– You can now choose to follow me and receive a few words of wisdom on Twitter: @Behavior_Expert   https://twitter.com/Behavior_Expert
  • Stop Being A Perfectionist – It is empowering to choose to improve and to do your best; it is disempowering when you become a perfectionist and can never feel happy or complete. Being a perfectionist also destroys relationships and prevents you from experiencing love. Watch the video and learn how to love yourself as you are: https://youtu.be/b9mDAZl2iEc


Now, let’s talk about a simple yet powerful choice for the New Year.

At the beginning of every New Year, we make resolutions or set goals, many of which we never complete.

Here are the top 10 resolutions people make every year; and I am sure you know which  is the number 1 resolution!

As you stop to ponder the goals you want to set for this year, consider the most important choice you will make – to live for yourself, to live your passion.

“Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma – which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of other’s opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.” 
– Steve Jobs

Live for yourself

This is a recurring theme in my work & teachings: Live your passion and beware of living for other people i.e. do what you love not what other people would love for you to do.
Continue reading “Time Is Running Out – Live Your Passion” »

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Unlearn What You Have Learned – 3 Lessons From Star Wars

Unlearn What You Have Learned - 3 Lessons From Star Wars
Unlearn What You Have Learned – 3 Lessons From Star Wars

In this week’s Success Newsletter, I would like to discuss the need to “unlearn what you have learned” and reveal 3 lessons from Star Wars.

First a quick update:

 

  • Why don’t you ever praise me? – Praise is a powerful tool – it can motivate people and it can build self-esteem and productivity. Did you know there are specific strategies to giving praise? Did you also know that children need praise but if improperly given can cause dysfunction and narcissism? Read my article about praise, how to give it and what to do if you never received it. http://patrickwanis.com/blog/why-dont-you-ever-praise-me-healthy-children/
  • Follow me on Twitter– You can now choose to follow me and receive a few words of wisdom on Twitter: @Behavior_Expert   https://twitter.com/Behavior_Expert
  • The Duggars, Sissy Boy Syndrome & Projection – What do the Duggars, Sissy Boy Syndrome and Hypocrisy have in common? Watch the video and learn about the Psychologist who coined the phrase “Sissy Boy Syndrome” and was later caught using a male escort: https://youtu.be/WB3zkpZ-L3s


Now, let’s talk about the need to “unlearn what you have learned” and reveal 3 lessons from Star Wars.

It is recognized as one of the most iconic scenes of any Star Wars film – from “Star Wars Episode V: Empire Strikes Back” (1980): Master Yoda is training Luke Skywalker to become a Jedi and here Yoda is teaching Luke about faith and possibility. The X-wing fighter has sunk in a swamp, and only the tip of its nose shows above the swamp’s surface. Yoda is teaching Luke that he has the power and ability to raise the X-wing fighter out of the swamp using The Force (the life force/energy field/energy of all things.)

Yoda expresses frustration with Luke as it becomes evident that Luke is being held back by his old, limiting beliefs; his doubt is preventing him from creating new possibilities; his mind is preventing him from connecting to and harnessing The Force.

YODA 
Concentrate!

LUKE
Oh, no. We’ll never get it out now.

YODA
So certain are you. Always with you it cannot be done. Hear you nothing that I say?

LUKE
Master, moving stones around is one thing. This is totally different.

YODA
No! No different! Only different in your mind. You must unlearn what you have learned.

LUKE
All right, I’ll give it a try.

YODA
No! Try not. Do. Or do not. There is no try.

[Luke closes his eyes and concentrates and for just a moment, The X-Wing’s nose rises above the water, only to sink back into the lake.]

LUKE
I can’t. It’s too big.

YODA
Size matters not. Look at me. Judge me by my size, do you? Hmmm.

And well you should not. For my ally is the Force. And a powerful ally it is. Life creates it, makes it grow. Its energy surrounds us and binds us. Luminous beings are we…

[Yoda pinches Luke’s shoulder] Continue reading “Unlearn What You Have Learned – 3 Lessons From Star Wars” »

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When Religion Dissolved and Humanity United

When Religion Dissolved and Humanity United
When Religion Dissolved and Humanity United

In this week’s Success Newsletter, I would like to share a true life story of humanity – when people chose to dissolve religious divisions and unite to save each other’s lives.

 

First a quick update:

 

  • It’s A Wonderful Life – What truly makes life wonderful? What is it that gives our life meaning, purpose and satisfaction? The Holiday classic movie, “It’s a Wonderful Life” with James Stewart has beautiful and powerful lessons and message. http://patrickwanis.com/blog/lessons-from-its-a-wonderful-life/
  • Follow me on Twitter– You can now choose to follow me and receive a few words of wisdom on Twitter: @Behavior_Expert   https://twitter.com/Behavior_Expert
  • Kids and heroes don’t see skin color – Temar Boggs, 15, and his friend Chris Garcia saved 5-year-old Jocelyn Rojas who was kidnapped. Children and heroes do not see color and do not seek reward. Watch the video: https://youtu.be/qY58Czn77fA


Now, let’s talk about a true life story of humanity – when people chose to dissolve religious divisions and unite to save each other’s lives.

 

Let me begin by clearly stating that this article is not about religion nor is it intended to promote any particular religion.

 

Around Christmas and The Holidays, you will read about and hear many references to the classic movie from 1946 with James Stewart, “It’s A Wonderful Life.”  The movie’s message is that as long as we have friends and people that love us and if we can recognize that we each make a contribution and difference to someone’s life and the world around us, then we can be grateful and recognize that yes, it’s a wonderful life.

 

However, presently we are being exposed to more and more examples of hatred, divisiveness and acts of terrorism. Republican Presidential hopeful Donald Trump is pushing to ban all Muslims from entering America; Benzi Gopstein, the leader of Lehava, a far-right organization in Israel is pushing to expel all Christians from Israel, citing the Catholic Church as an enemy of the Jews for hundreds of years, and Christians as bloodsuckers – “The mission of those vampires and bloodsuckers remains. If Jews cannot be killed, they can be converted.”

 

The point here is that religion can easily divide and when it does, we fail to see what we have in common; we fail to see our humanity, our fragility – we lose our humanity.

 

This week, in Northern Kenya, a bus with 60 passengers traveling from Nairobi was attacked by the Somali Islamist group al-Shabaab. The bus which didn’t have the usual police escort was stopped by a group of militants who sprayed it with bullets.

 

Abdi Mohamud Abdi, a Muslim who was among the passengers told Reuters that more than 10 al Shabaab militants boarded the bus and ordered the Muslim passengers to split away from the Christians, but they refused.

Continue reading “When Religion Dissolved and Humanity United” »

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The Top 10 Celebrity Meltdowns of 2015

The 9th Annual List

top ten celebrity meltdowns 2015
The Top 10 Celebrity Meltdowns of 2015. Burt reynolds image from http://www.amazon.com/Reynolds-Smokey-Bandit-Classic-Pontiac/dp/B00KU6WYIA

Exposing breasts and buttocks to the neighbor’s children, cheating on the wife with the nanny, lying to the world for decades about your career and achievements, leading a double life, and pushing to make Americans lose their jobs! This is just a small sample of celebrity bad behavior – the stupid actions, meanness, narcissism and meltdowns of 2015.

Most celebrities are unprepared for the storm of fame, power, wealth, parties and constant temptation. Power corrupts and often exposes hypocrisy and results in entitlement and narcissism.

Can you guess who had the number 1 celebrity meltdown of 2015?

 

10. Jennifer Lien: The “STAR Trek: Voyager” actress has had numerous run-ins with the law and has issues controlling her anger: In July 2012, Lien was arrested for an alleged domestic assault; in April 2015, Lien was arrested and charged with evading arrest, resisting arrest, reckless endangerment and aggravated assault in relation to an alleged speeding offence, and; in September 2015, she was arrested for two counts of misdemeanor exposure after allegedly exposing her breasts and buttocks to children under 13 during an argument with a neighbor about the neighbor’s parenting skills.

9. Kanye West: He has become as famous for his selfish, narcissistic, delusional and absurd comments and behavior as he has for his extraordinary musical talent. In fact, Kanye has made the annual list of top celebrity meltdowns 5 years out of 9. You might recall West jumped on stage at the 2009 VMAs and snatched the microphone from winner Taylor Swift and told millions of live viewers around the world that he thought Beyonce deserved the award. The audience booed and many celebrities cussed him out on Twitter – including Kate Perry and Pink.

In 2015, West jumped on stage again at the Grammys when Beck for won the Grammy award for Album of the year for “Morning Phase.” At the last moment, West changed his mind and stepped down and off the stage. However, Kanye West couldn’t control his words or ego, and later at the E! After Party, he did it again:

“All I know is if the Grammys want real artists to keep coming back, they need to stop playing with us. We ain’t gonna play with them no more. ‘Flawless,’ Beyoncé video. Beck needs to respect artistry and he should have given his award to Beyoncé, and at this point, we tired of it.”

Kanye West has a point – the awards should be given to acknowledge and “respect artistry”: Beck plays 16 instruments; Kanye uses autotune. Perhaps the Grammys should stop acknowledging Kanye West.

Click below to listen to the full 30-minute interview – Patrick Wanis revealing The Top 10 Celebrity Meltdowns of 2015 on the Tom Bernard radio show.

8. Burt Reynolds: The famous actor and former womanizer slammed Charlie Sheen saying Sheen deserved to have his HIV disease.

Continue reading “The Top 10 Celebrity Meltdowns of 2015” »

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Cheating – How To Get Over It When You Blame Yourself

cheating how to get over it when you blame yourself
Cheating – how to get over it when you blame yourself

In this week’s Success Newsletter, I would like to reveal how to attain emotional freedom following cheating – what to do when you blame yourself for your partner’s infidelity?

First a quick update:

  • How to get over it – Unfortunately cheating and betrayal are too common. If you have been suffered a betrayal, how do you get over it? How do you rebuild your self-esteem and self-worth? How do you let go of the shame and embarrassment? http://patrickwanis.com/GetOverIt_Package.asp
  • Follow me on Twitter– You can now choose to follow me and receive a few words of wisdom on Twitter: @Behavior_Expert   https://twitter.com/Behavior_Expert
  • If you cheat, do you confess? – If you have a one-night stand and cheat, do you tell your partner? If your mutual friend hits on you, do you tell your partner? Watch the video for insights into what to do when you have betrayed someone: https://youtu.be/04E3J5E5tVI

Now, let’s talk about how to attain emotional freedom following cheating – what to do when you blame yourself for your partner’s infidelity?

 

Science argues that all animals are not truly monogamous creatures, including humans i.e. we are not designed to be with just one person and that mating and attraction to multiple people is a natural state and response since one of our primary functions and purposes is to reproduce.

 

Of course, we have the power to override the hardwired impulse to reproduce (many people make the conscious choice to not have children, though not necessarily the equivalent conscious choice to abstain from mating.) There are also a very small amount of animals that appear to be socially monogamous, though not sexually monogamous.

 

Nonetheless, the one element here that science finds a challenge to fully explain is the paradox – we are supposedly not monogamous and yet we become extremely attached socially, mentally and emotionally to other people.

Continue reading “Cheating – How To Get Over It When You Blame Yourself” »

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