In this week’s Success Newsletter, I would like to ease some of the controversy and reveal the real reasons why men want women to cook for them.
First a quick update:
- “Revenge is destroying Christie Brinkley.” Listen to the radio interview I gave to Bob and Sherri’s nationally syndicated show: Celebrity supermodel Christie Brinkley chose to go public about the sordid affair her husband Peter Cook had. Why? Is Christie Brinkley being driven by revenge and payback over her humiliating betrayal by her husband? Will Brinkley’s move harm her and her children as hatred, bitterness and revenge take over and consume her? Are Brinkley’s emotions of anger, hurt and revenge justified? I also point out the irony that her husband betrayed his wife Brinkley, a woman made famous for youth and beauty, by cheating with another girl full of youth and beauty. www.patrickwanis.com/RadioInterviews.asp
Now let’s talk about the controversial topic of what men and women want and why men want women to cook for them.
It’s often a hot topic of debate- what do men want? What do women want? Can we understand the other gender? Can we ever please them? Of course, media and society generally enjoy portraying the woman as the more difficult of the two genders to comprehend and work out. There is no doubt that generally women have more depth than most men – in the sense that they have a far wider range of needs and desires than men who are often portrayed as simpletons. (Some predominant feminine qualities include sensitivity, intuition, perception and nurturing. And incidentally, based on studies of the human brain, women can actually successfully multi-task. Men just think they can. Sorry guys!)
In my book, “What a woman wants” I use a joke to illustrate a point:
“There’s an old joke that compares men with women:
How to seduce a woman: compliment her, respect her, honor her, cuddle her, kiss her, caress her, love her, stroke her, tease her, comfort her, protect her, hug her, hold her, spend money on her, wine and dine her, buy things for her, listen to her, care for her, stand by her, support her, hold her, go to the ends of the Earth for her.
How to seduce a man: Show up naked. Bring food.”
While I am sure that you are probably laughing or maybe even cursing after reading the above, we all agree that there is much more that is required to bring joy, satisfaction and happiness to either a man or a woman than just the above list. In the context of a relationship, I teach in my book, “Get the man you want” that men desire four things from a woman:
- For her to look good
- Pay attention to him, and DO things with him
- Regular and exciting sex
- Treat him like a king
Now before the ladies get mad with me, I am not saying that the above is right and appropriate, but rather, that is the way it is. For example, testosterone –the primary hormone in men promotes action, assertiveness, aggressiveness and competitiveness in men. Right or wrong? That’s the way it is.
So again, the question remains, “Why do men want women to cook for them?” Is it because they simply want to be treated like king? Is it because they believe they are superior, and that cooking and the kitchen is only the domain of a woman?
Beyond some of the potential sexist responses by some men, the answer lies much deeper than that and may even shock you.
I would like to answer that question with a story. I recall it was during one of visits to my home in Australia. I was in the kitchen. My mom had cooked me a meal and let me know that it was ready. I sat down to eat, and for the first time, I consciously became aware of something truly significant. I noticed that I didn’t want to get up and get it for myself. During most of my childhood years, after my grandmother who lived with us passed away when I was ten, my brother and I cooked for ourselves. My mom was studying for her PhD at the time and arrived home very late. So while it had been a habit for me for most of my childhood life to cook for myself, this time, I wanted my mother to serve me the food that she had cooked. I wondered to myself, “Why is this important to me?” And then it hit me. It wasn’t about me wanting to be a king, it was about me wanting to feel loved and believing that the food would actually taste better when served by my mother. For the ladies, it is critical to understand that men express love by “doing” and “giving” things – usually tangible things and therefore to a man, it is also an expression of love when a woman serves a man and gives him something. Underneath all of the pseudo male macho superiority, men also seek nurturing from women and they find that to be expressed with food and receiving.
Having said all of the above, I also humbly teach that yes, men should share in the chores and not demand or expect that the woman carry all the burdens of the house, and yes, men should look for opportunities to serve the lady – be it with a home cooked meal or a lengthy massage. Remember, whenever we serve the other person, we also enjoy the rewards of fulfillment. Maybe that is the real meaning of “It is more blessed to give than to receive.” We all need to learn to give and receive!
Remember to check out my Blog on my website to read my past Success Newsletters, post your comments and take a few exciting quizzes. www.patrickwanis.com If you have received this newsletter as a forward and would like to receive all of my newsletters please enter your email address on the home page at PatrickWanis.com.
I wish you the best and remind you “Believe in yourself -You deserve the best!”
Patrick Wanis Ph.D.
Celebrity Life Coach, Human Behavior & Relationship Expert & Clinical Hypnotherapist