Never Give Up

In this week’s Success Newsletter, and in the light of numerous suicides related to the economy, I would like to explore the ways to rebuild yourself psychologically & emotionally and recover your spirit in spite of whatever is happening in your life.

First a quick update:

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Now, let’s talk about the various ways to empower you in spite of all of the challenges.

There have been numerous suicides and murder-suicides as a result of the economy. In the past seven days, a man in California killed himself, his wife and 5 children after losing his job, another man in Maryland did the same because of huge debt, and today, it was announced that David Kellermann, the acting chief financial officer of mortgage finance giant Freddie Mac was found dead, believed to be suicide. Even billionaires have also taken their life after their empires crashed. Adolf Merckle lost about half of his 9 billion dollars before deciding to commit suicide.

Why would a man who still has more than a billion dollars left choose to take his life?

While the reasons may be complex, they are still the same reasons and motivating factors as for the average man.

Here are some:

• Catastrophic loss
• Lack of a support system
• Social withdrawal
• Loss of control
• Extreme Stress
• Loss of identity
• Eradication of self-worth
• Hopelessness
• Sense of failure & frustration

All of the above factors can be summed up as: the false belief that you are everything that you own.

We have come to conclude in Western Society, that our value, particularly if we are men, is based on our possessions and material worth. We falsely believe that our identity, power and self-worth are equivalent only to what we have amassed – what we own. What we fail to realize is that once we attach our happiness and self-worth to anything outside of us, then we have lost all of our power. And instead of thinking we have great power because of what we control, we don’t see that it is those things that we own that now control us. When we lose those things that we feel define us, we also lose hope and all power and meaning for life.

Are you the BMW, the big mansion or the sleek yacht?

What makes you who you are?

If we take another look at the list I created above, there are answers and solutions for each one, remembering that no situation is completely hopeless, only some people lose all hope in the face of some situations.

Catastrophic loss

When we experience any loss, we need to be able to grieve, allowing ourselves to feel sadness, loss or other pain. What we cannot allow ourselves to do is to lose hope. A building, an empire, a bank account can always be rebuilt.

Lack of a support system

Do you have friends, family or colleagues to offer your comfort, support, a listening ear during hard times? Do you allow others to help you or do you feel weak by doing so? A real man allows himself to be vulnerable, for it takes greater courage to be able to face your weaknesses than deny them.

Social withdrawal

When experiencing pain, frustration and stress, it is easy to withdraw and cut off people. Maybe you respond to invitations with, “Oh, I wouldn’t be good company right now.” In fact, what you need is the emotional connection with friends and a chance to get something off your chest or simply time to have some fun. Make an extra effort to enhance and deepen your relationship with your partner.

Loss of control

Understand that the only real thing you can control is your thoughts. At times, in life, we will feel out of control; so take stock and decide to control only that which you can – you, your thoughts and behavior

Extreme Stress

I have dedicated many success newsletters (archived on my blog) and even hypnosis CDs to combating stress. Every thought, feeling and challenge affects your body, your mind and your emotions. Stress is the primary cause of illness, aging and all mental and emotional imbalances. The latest neurological studies are reporting that high stress levels are being recognized as one of the leading causes of Alzheimer’s disease. Read past success letters on stress:

Powerful tips to reduce stress now:

Two powerful tips for tough times:

How to remove stress from your life:

Removing stress Part 2:

Loss of identity

Sit down now and consider what defines you? Who are you? What are your inner qualities, talents, abilities, gifts, temperament? How do you make a positive impact in this life? Remember, you are not your job. It is a part of you but it is not you.

Eradication of self-worth

What makes you valuable and significant? Is it just the ability to provide for others financially? What can you give to your family, friends and loved ones that cannot be bought? How about friendship, companionship, compassion, kindness, support, empathy, encouragement, praise, love, acceptance, validation, recognition, humor, joy, fun, affection, warmth, a helping hand, etc?

Hopelessness

The situation may feel hopeless because in this moment, you cannot seem to come up with the solution but that does not mean a solution does not exist. Turn to others for help, support, advice and a solution. Hope is about believing that things will get better even if you cannot see the light right now. Take meaningful action.

Sense of failure & frustration

Maybe you did make mistakes which got you here; maybe you did fail at something but that doesn’t mean that you are a failure, nor does it mean that you should give up or that you won’t succeed next time. Michael Phelps didn’t become one of the world’s greatest swimmers without some failures, setbacks and rigorous training; Zig Ziglar, one of the leading sales trainers in the world, was bankrupt at age 40, and Anthony Robbins, one of the world’s greatest motivators and leaders of personal development divorced his first wife after fifteen years and is now remarried.

Finally, family members of Adolf Merckle believed the billionaire took his life because he lost his spirit. Never let anything steal from you your opportunity live and love life.

Get more daily support and help with my hypnosis CD: Feel Good about yourself and become more confident https://www.patrick-wanis.com/product/feel-good-about-yourself-hypnosis-download/

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I wish you the best and remind you “Believe in yourself -You deserve the best!”

Patrick Wanis Ph.D.
Celebrity Life Coach, Human Behavior & Relationship Expert & Clinical Hypnotherapist
www.patrickwanis.com